August 14, 2025

Financial Abuse: How Money Becomes A Weapon & How YOU Fight Back | Neisha Himes, Survivor & Educator | in partnership w/ the National Domestic Violence Hotline

1 hour 6 minutes

What happens when your partner controls every dollar you spend, monitors your bank account, or sabotages your ability to work? This is financial abuse — one of the most powerful tools an abuser uses to trap you in a relationship.

Produced in partnership with The National Domestic Violence Hotline for National Financial Abuse Awareness Day, this episode of Bitch Is A Bad Word dives deep into how financial control works, why it’s so effective, and how survivors can begin to break free.

Lindsay sits down with survivor, activist, and educator Neisha Himes , who bravely shares how her partner used money to isolate her, limit her choices, and make leaving feel impossible. From being denied access to her own paycheck to having every purchase questioned, Neisha’s story shows how financial abuse often hides in plain sight — and why it’s just as damaging as physical violence.

Trigger Warning: For those who have experienced or witnessed abuse our conversation could be triggering. We want you to take care of you. If you need to step away or pause the episode please do so. If you need support and want to talk to a live advocate please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or chat live at thehotline.org.

Inside this episode:

What financial abuse really looks like (beyond “he won’t let me spend money”)
How abusers use money to keep you trapped — even after you leave
Small, strategic steps to regain control of your finances safely
Why secrecy, isolation, and shame make financial abuse so hard to spot
Resources from The Hotline to help you protect yourself

About Neisha:

Neisha Christine Himes is an award winning and nationally recognized activist and motivational speaker. After leaving a 5 year long abusive and toxic relationship, Neisha decided to use her harrowing experience to help other domestic violence survivors. She began telling her story through her gift of spoken word poetry—performing at open mics and various events where she met and bonded with other survivors.

She also volunteered at a local domestic violence shelter where she created a journaling group to encourage self-expression and healing through writing. She later became certified as a Human Trafficking Victim Advocate with the Virginia Beach Justice Initiative (n/k/a FreeKind). Then in 2016, Neisha founded G.R.O.W. (Girls Recognizing Our Worth) Foundation to assist survivors with rebuilding their lives after abuse. The non-profit organization has since helped countless survivors get back on their feet and provided them hope in their journey towards restoration.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I leave? I don’t have my own money,” this episode is for you.

Disclaimer: This episode is sponsored by the National Domestic Violence Hotline to shine a light on lesser-known, yet pervasive, forms of abuse. The views and opinions expressed reflect those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of The Hotline or their funders, including the Department of Health and Human Services.

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📞 If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788.

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By Lindsay Abernathy | Domestic Violence Survivor

4.6

7878 ratings