By Alex Alexander
Ever noticed how much we talk about romantic, family, and parent-child relationships, while friendships often get the silent treatment?
Welcome to "Friendship IRL," the Podcast where we dive
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The podcast currently has 106 episodes available.
A few years ago, Debra Driscoll was living in Brooklyn, navigating a long-distance relationship and a life split between the city and the sea. Then, in 2020, her world was turned upside down.
Instead of seeing this as a setback, Debra took it as an opportunity to fast-forward her dreams and create something beautiful.
Now Debra is a spiritual teacher and energy guide who, from her home in Tobago, runs a thriving community, Big Life Magic, which is made up of people who are looking for a space to grow and transform, and for others to witness and celebrate their transformation.
Today’s episode is all about finding those spaces where we can truly show up as ourselves – not just who we are now, but who we dream of becoming, filled with people who believe that anything is possible for us.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Resources & Links
Learn about Debra’s company, Big Life Magic, and her book, A Series of Surrendor: a Memoir of Grief.
See Friendship IRL Episode 91, “How to Stop Dreading Parties and Take Charge of Your Guest Experience.”
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
Many times on this podcast, I’ve talked about how powerful virtual connection can be, with the caveat: are you ACTUALLY engaging, or are you just lurking?
Today we dive into connection through podcasts and social media, emphasizing active over passive consumption. Our guest is Sharon Walters, a coach and author who has made it her mission to transform gratitude from a reaction to an action.
In this episode, Sharon highlights the impact of positive feedback and genuine interactions. She uses social media to build meaningful relationships and supports content creators by sharing their work and closing the loop.
It’s easy to turn social media and podcasts into passive connections, but actually, they are brimming with opportunities for authentic relationships. There are real people behind the microphones and cameras, and it only helps to show them some love. So give them a like. Send them a message. You might even make a new friend.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Resources & Links
Sharon is a business owner, gratitude coach, fitness trainer, and author. Visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
I just got back from this wild, adventurous, 11-day road trip with my friend to see two Taylor Swift concerts on opposite sides of the country.
How did we make it happen? Partly, the stars aligned; partly, we’re privileged in that we’re self-employed, childless, and could afford it; but also, we just went for it. It was so fun and actually inspired a new goal: I want to go on a one-week girls trip sometime this decade.
By this point in my life, I’ve traveled a lot. I’ve had so many fun experiences with friends. I was able to do it because I stopped waiting for the stars to align, for that perfect thing to happen.
In this episode, I present a special call to stop saying the word someday. Someday I’ll go on that girls trip. Someday I will make it out to visit that friend. Someday we’ll take that vacation. Here, I offer four tips to help you just get that friend trip on the calendar.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Resources & Links
Interested in trying a slumber party with your friends? Listen to Episode 28.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
In this episode, I pull back the curtain on one of my own formal communities: the Toastmasters.
Today’s guest is Brendan Smith, a member of the Toastmasters chapter I was part of. Toastmasters is an international speaking club and educational organization, and for four years, Brendan and I met with the group every Thursday: sometimes online, sometimes in person; sometimes as presenters, sometimes as listeners.
We all shared a common goal – to become better communicators and speakers – but there was an underlying benefit, too. You get to know people in a formal community. Over time, you develop a feeling of belonging to it.
Since talking with Brendan, I have to admit, I did not renew my Toastmasters membership. I was not able to invest in it the way I felt I should have due to work and health stuff I’ve been going through. And though it’s not a part of my weekly schedule anymore, I have such fond memories of the Toastmasters. It will always be a valuable part of my story and community.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Resources & Links
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
This episode, about navigating friendship through chronic illness, is deeply personal to me.
In last week’s episode, I shared about my own recent health issues, but I think this information is good to have no matter your situation. Chances are, chronic illness will impact somebody in your life in your lifetime.
Today’s guest is Catherine, a business coach, founder of Catherine LifeDesign, and a survivor of chronic illness. Here, Catherine shares about her “perfect storm” of life events – including a miscarriage and Hashimoto’s disease diagnosis – that resulted in a severe health crash.
Chronic illness is hard. There is no exact solution on how to navigate friendships around this; it’s so personal and so nuanced. But my hope is that this one more story out there offers ideas on how to deal with this if it’s impacting your own life.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Resources & Links:
Follow Catherine on Instagram and on her website.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
This whole podcast was only a dream a couple years ago, and here we are now with 100 episodes. Thank you for being here, for listening, and for sharing these conversations with your friends.
In this episode, I share some life updates and talk intensely about the Wheel of Connection (view this visual diagram!), which is a foundational concept to my work. I give an overview about each of the categories, and at the end of the episode, I talk about how to do a basic Wheel of Connection audit.
You deserve Level 10 support, and hopefully this helps you to take more intentional action to develop the connections you need for this season of life.
Want to go even deeper? Sign up for my newsletter to receive more information, including announcements about my forthcoming book and the Wheel of Connection audio guide.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Resources & Links:
Here are some visuals of the Wheel of Connection and my Roots framework. Want more? Sign up for my newsletter to receive more information, including announcements about my forthcoming book and the Wheel of Connection audio guide.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
Individualism is woven so deeply into the fabric of American culture that sometimes we don’t even notice it. But what if this cornerstone of our culture is costing us more than we realize?
Today’s guest is James F. Richardson, a cultural anthropologist who spent two decades studying American society – which included living a more communal life in South India for three years. His new book, Our Worst Strength, challenges our approach to individualism as a way of life.
I read the book, and it was interesting to notice what came up. Most eye-opening was realizing how deeply ingrained the individualism mindset is. I simultaneously didn’t like what I was reading about individualism and didn’t want to change anything about it.
Was this eye-opening for you too? Be sure to read James’s book and check out his substack. If you’re like me, thinking about what a number individualism has done on our lives, remember we can’t change this overnight. It takes small shifts over time to make big change.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Resources & Links:
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
Have you ever felt like you’re ALWAYS the one giving a shoulder to cry on – but don’t have one to cry on yourself?
I think it’s a common issue among friends. Personally, I used to brag about how I’d drop everything to help a friend in need – but I eventually discovered it wasn’t sustainable, and my friends didn’t reciprocate in quite the same way.
Today’s guest, Chrissy Marie, experienced similar issues, having always been the “space holder” or “fixer” for other people but never sharing the depths of her own emotions – which consequently led to one-sided connections.
Here, Chrissy – who is also a trauma-informed embodiment practitioner and founder of The Art of Aliveness podcast – shares her journey of unraveling these patterns and offers tips on how to build a diverse support network that holds space for ALL of you – no fixing required.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Resources & Links:
Be sure to follow Chrissy Marie on her website and listen to her podcast, The Art of Aliveness.
In this episode I mentioned Episode 49 about small talk; Episode 91, about taking charge of your guest experience; Episode 74 about small intimacies; and Episode 85, about shifting people-pleasing patterns.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
Have you ever hesitated to set a boundary with a friend for fear of pushing them away?
Or, maybe you found yourself on the receiving end of unspoken expectations and left guessing what your friend truly needed.
Our friendships are some of the only relationships we have by choice – but sometimes that freedom can make us hesitate to trust. We’re subconsciously testing our friends, waiting for them to prove they will show up and listen. These tests can strain a friendship.
But what if setting boundaries didn’t have to be a test? What if instead we saw it as a bridge: a way to deepen the connection and show our friends how to love us better?
Today, I talk all about friendship boundaries with Zya Be, host of the podcast Your Hell Yes Life. We share real-life experiences with boundaries in friendship and stories about those bridge-crossing moments.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Resources & Links:
In this episode I mention Episode 40 and Episode 54, which are both about neurodivergent friendships, and Episode 74, which is about small intimacies.
Listen to Your Hell Yes Life with Zya Be and follow her on Facebook.
Read Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
Today I’m going to share my personal hot takes about friendship.
If you’ve been listening to Friendship IRL for a while, you’ll recognize some of these ideas, but some thoughts are new, and some I haven’t presented as directly as I do today.
I was inspired by Danielle Bayard Jackson’s recent episode on the Friend Forward podcast, “6 Hot Takes on Female Friendships.” Here, I cover topics ranging from making friends with people of the opposite gender (which I love!) to the term “best friend” (which I hate!).
Honestly, I think doing this work has cemented a lot of these friendship beliefs for me, but I’d love to hear your thoughts: which hot takes do you agree or disagree with? This is a great episode for new listeners to start with, so please: send this to a friend, too!
In this episode you’ll hear about:
Resources & Links:
This episode was inspired by Danielle Bayard Jackson’s recent episode, “6 Hot Takes on Female Friendships.” Danielle is host of the Friend Forward podcast and was a guest here during Episode 77 about female friendships.
Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
The podcast currently has 106 episodes available.
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