There are many types of friendships, and they're all necessary. We need friends to chat with at work, neighbors to share metaphorical cups of sugar with. But we also need deep friendships built on a bedrock of safety--and those can be harder to come by.

In today's episode, we are unpacking what it means to feel truly safe in a friendship. What qualities do we look for and offer to our friends in order to create a container of deep love and security? What are the values that we orient towards when we find a kindred spirit and realize we simply love them because we love them? And, perhaps most importantly, how do we repair when something shakes the foundation we have worked so hard to build?

We all want to experience joy, but sometimes it can feel out of reach. Sometimes, the more we chase joy, the faster it slips beyond our reach. And yet, as Sheryl so often teaches, what we water will grow. We can create conditions favorable to joy.

In today's episode, we discuss joy as not a luxury but a necessity; joy as an act of resistance and a fraternal twin to grief; how joy lies hidden just beneath the surface of ordinary, everyday magic; and how we can tap into that magic with subtle shifts in our choices and perspective. 

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Today's very special guest, Michael Alcée, is author of the book The Upside of OCD: Flight the Script to Reclaim Your Life. In our conversation, Michael explains what he means and does not mean when he talks about the "upside" of OCD; why Michael thinks all people with OCD start out as mini-existentialists and poets; and the key missing ingredient in many of our contemporary treatments for OCD.

How can OCD be both meaningless and meaningful at the same time? What messages might OCD be trying to deliver to us, if we only know how to listen? All of this and more in today's episode.

It is a common refrain these days: we live in a culture of scarcity mindset. We are bombarded with messages of never enough, implicitly and explicitly warned that there is not enough money, time, attention, or even love for all of us. These messages shift us into fearful perspectives, limiting our ability to see and receive all the goodness around us.

In a world where so many people are lacking basic survival needs and systems of care, we wrestle with dueling feelings of fear and guilt, aware that "it could be worse," and yet, struggling to feel into the fullness that we sense is right here, if only we could reach out and touch it.

So, what is true abundance? And how do we contact it?

That's what we're exploring in today's episode.

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We're sharing a Patreon exclusive to our Gathering Gold feed today!

In this episode, we're responding to our patron Jenny's question about how to deal with the discomfort and fear that comes along with stretching our comfort zones.

We talk about values-based actions, purpose and meaning, our individual window of tolerance, and the importance of self-compassion.

Visit patreon.com/gatheringgold to gain access to 30+ bonus episodes, with new ones coming out each month! 

Welcome to the 100th episode of Gathering Gold!

Today, we take a moment to pause and reflect on what it has meant to commit to this podcast for four years and regularly make trips together to fill up from a well of nourishing waters--waters of deep listening, conversation, reflection, and compassion. We talk about how and why we have tried to make this podcast a refuge, how it has impacted our relationship as family/friends/collaborators, and in what ways it has changed our own behavior and ways of thinking.

We hope this episode inspires you to take a moment to pause, appreciate, and reflect on one of your own commitments in life, how it has changed you, and what gold you gather from showing up again and again! 

In contemporary society, we face more choices--and more decisions--than ever before. This can sometimes feel like a curse as much as it is also a blessing, especially for those of us struggle with indecisiveness. 

In today's episode, we discuss mindsets around decision-making that can help us find more ease around the little decisions ("What should I order from the menu?") and the big decisions ("Should I quit my job?"). 

References:

Join our Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/gatheringgold

In today's follow-up to the Escape Hatch Fantasies episode, Sheryl and Victoria discuss the double-edged allure of ruminating on what could be? and what could have been? 

They discuss the difference between a fantasy and a dream for the future, how to work with the energy of regret, and what we can learn from the film Past Lives (2023) about making space for longing, mystery, and acceptance in the face of our many life choices and experiences.

In preparation for our next episode, we bring to you one of our most popular episodes to date: Escape Hatch Fantasies.

Members of our Patreon can submit questions and reflections for our follow-up conversation about escape hatch fantasies at patreon.com/gatheringgold 

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We all indulge in fantasizing from time to time. Maybe you find yourself scrolling through Zillow looking at houses for sale, even though most of the time you love where you live. Perhaps you have romantic dreams about your ex and wake wondering if it means you should run off into the sunset with them—even though you know you don't really want that in reality.

Our imaginations and dreams are beautiful things, and yet sometimes, we find ourselves fixating on a certain escape hatch that we wish could magically deliver us to a version of life without pain, boredom, or anxiety. Certain fantasies might get sticky, causing us distress or interfering with our real lives. So what do we do with persistent escape hatch fantasies that we can’t or don’t really want to act out? 

That’s the topic of today’s episode. We’ll be unpacking two fantasies in particular (living alone in the woods and moving to a faraway city) to ask what longings might lie underneath them, and how we can attend to those longings while respecting our values and choices we’ve made for our lives. 

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"You can read and listen and learn for years, but unless you take actions that create more well-being, you will remain stuck. While accurate information is important and often transformative, it's the compassionate actions we take on our own behalf that create long-lasting, deep-rooted, sustainable change."

In today's episode, we introduce a new tool for healing anxiety at the root: Sheryl's forthcoming publication, The Healing Anxiety Workbook. 

Over decades of working with individuals struggling with anxiety, Sheryl has identified the pain points that most call out for our attention through the voice of anxiety: disconnection from self, from others, and from the unseen world.

In today's episode, we discuss how the inception of this book reflects the very mindsets that ease anxiety; how to deal with perfectionism and anxiety about engaging with a workbook in the first place; and the most important, foundational exercise in this work/play book that Sheryl believes is the key to creating lasting change.

Listen through the very end of the episode to learn how you can attend a very special event if you pre-order the book!

You can also visit our Patreon to learn about joining us for a Spring Equinox virtual gathering on March 23rd and unlock 30+ bonus episodes!