Let me ask you a question… do you have boundaries in your life?

Let's get even more basic than that…. do you know what a good boundary is?

Having a good, healthy boundaries in place versus poor, unrealistic boundaries can make all the difference in your personal, spiritual, and physical growth.

So, you know having boundaries are important, right? But we're not quite sure what they are?

Just the idea of boundaries can be scary. Usually, because we don't want anyone being mad at us and we don't want to rock the boat.

But let me tell you, my sweet and wonderful friend - you can't go through life feeling the kind of self-love and self-respect that God has intended you to feel until you get some good healthy boundaries.

ALL the tools in the world will not help if you don't define, own, and state your protective line in the sand.

Do you need help with your boundaries?

Let's start off with the basics first:

Boundaries are all about defining what is okay and what's not okay with our personal behavior and how we choose to react to other people's behavior.

We are responsible for defining and defending our own personal boundaries by respecting ourselves first, and that allows us to respect others.

To keep it simple: boundaries help us respect our hearts. They are not about trying to control other people's actions.

Here's an example of a poor boundary: "I will not allow my partner to be rude and unkind to me."

The truth is, you can't control if he or she is rude or unkind. You can't place this boundary on someone else. Your partner is going to say what they want to. If you're telling him or her that they can't be rude, you're trying to control another person's choices.

You might be thinking, "Yeah, but, Michelle... they're being unkind. Do I just have to stand there and take it?"

And I would tell you that you're smart enough to know you can't control the way someone treats you.

You can only set a boundary in place about how you're going to respond to that behavior.

You don't have to take verbal abuse from anyone. And that's where your boundary comes in.

Boundaries serve as your protection.

So instead of saying, "I will not allow him or her to be rude and unkind to me," your healthy boundary can be:

"I will not tolerate rudeness or verbal abuse. If my partner is being abusive or disrespectful, I will leave the room, delete the text, or politely hang up the phone."

There are dozens of other healthy boundaries you should have for your life and if you'd like to learn more, I've just opened up enrollment for a new program called Love Over Boundaries.

If you don't have good boundaries, I can guarantee your relationships are suffering.

Setting and keeping boundaries is a necessary skill for all women, not just ones in relationships with men or women who drink too much or suffer from substance abuse.

In the Love Over Boundaries program, you will complete the program with two major accomplishments:

1. You will have defined your boundaries
2. You will have the conviction and courage to enforce them

I hope you'll join me in this new program.