"Are we going to be okay?" This was one of the first questions Amy Choi & Rebecca Lehrer, co-founders of The Mash-Up Americans, posed in their new podcast series, Grief, Collected. Throughout episodes with folks like adrienne maree brown, Dorothy Holinger, and Linda Thai, Rebecca and Amy explore what grief is and how it impacts us emotionally, physically, culturally, and collectively. Rebecca & Amy talk about the questions they posed in this series and how the answers they uncovered are shifting their personal, familial, cultural, and collective responses to grief and loss.  Listen to Grief, Collected Check out The Mash-Up Americans

*Note: this episode talks about suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. You can call 988 or text Hello to 741-741.*

Many of us end up working in the grief world because of our personal experiences. We want to give others what we most needed. This is especially true for Melody Lomboy-Lowe and her niece Gracelyn Bateman, who co-founded Luna Peak Foundation in the hopes of supporting both those affected by cancer and those grieving a death. Melody was diagnosed with cancer when she was 6 and went through intensive treatment until she was 9. Gracelyn's dad, and Melody's brother-in-law, died of a cardiac event while running in 2016. Through their books and social media channels, Luna Peak provides multicultural stories of survivorship and hope.  Places we go in this episode: Grieving during the holidays. What Melody needed from adults while she was going through treatment. How interviewing those affected by cancer and those grieving a death has impacted them.  Their hopes for Luna Peak Foundation going forward. 

Books mentioned: Beyond Remission Beyond Grief Holiday Griefings

When your parent is one of six people in medical history to be diagnosed with and die from a rare disease, the phrase, "The odds are one in a million" takes on a very different meaning. This was true for Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence, Pathways Program Coordinator at Dougy Center, who was 11 when her father died of heart cancer. At that point, she decided that if something tragic could happen, it would most likely happen to her. This worldview informed so much of how she approached school, dating, family, and becoming a parent.  In this conversation we explore:

• The early days of being a parent without her father.
• How vigilance and anxiety led Rebecca to over-function as a parent.
• The joy she found in watching her children get to be kids, without the responsibility she had to take on after her father died.
• How witnessing her grandson survive an extremely rare brain disease has helped rewrite her "one in a million" narrative.

Other Grief Out Loud episodes with Rebecca: Ep. 18: Grieving the Death of a Sibling - Tips for Supporting Children Ep. 20: Grief & Developmental Disabilities Ep. 27: Grief and the Holidays Ep. 67: Creating Legacies in the Face of a Terminal Illness Ep. 98: Under Pressure - Grief & December Holidays Ep. 174: Holidays, Grief & a Pandemic Ep. 240: The (Not) Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Holidays & Grief Mini-Episode

For a lot of us, the end of year holidays + grief = the (not) most wonderful time of the year. Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence, Pathways Program & Group Coordinator at Dougy Center, is back for our annual Holidays & Grief episode. We discuss negotiating with family and friends around how we want to celebrate or not celebrate and how the past few years have shifted our priorities. Rebecca also shares how she and her family are approaching the holidays with a new type of grief, her mother having Alzheimer's.  If you missed our past Holidays & Grief episodes, be sure to listen to Ep. 27, 98, and 174.  Tips For Getting Through the Holidays & Holiday Plan Worksheet. Register for our "Navigating Grief During the Holidays" webinar happening on Thursday, 12.1.22, 10 am - 11:30 am PST. 

Have you found it difficult to read anything longer than a paragraph since your person died? It's a phenomenon familiar, both personally and professionally, to Eleanor Haley, MS & Litsa Williams, MA, LCSW-C. Eleanor & Litsa started the What's Your Grief community back in 2012 as a way to create the kind of grief resources they most needed in their own lives and for the clients they supported. They just published their first book, What's Your Grief - Lists to Help You Through Any Loss, and it will come as no surprise that it's filled with lists designed to help you better absorb information about grief from death and non-death losses.   If you missed Eleanor & Litsa's first appearance on Grief Out Loud, go back and listen to Ep. 22: Grief & Becoming a Parent. 

We deliberated for a long time about whether it was appropriate for us to do an episode on pet loss. We know from those grieving the death of a person that it can hurt when someone tries to relate to their loss by sharing about their pet who died. We also know that grief is grief. Pets bring us joy and laughter and frustration and tears and love - just like humans do. In the end we decided to do this episode because we want to honor that for many people, their pets are family members, and the grief when one of them dies is real and valid and worthy of recognition and support. As our guest, Debrah Lee, Veterinary Well-Being Program Director for DoveLewis Veterinary and & Specialty Hospital, says, "These relationships matter." Mentioned in this episode: DoveLewis's Pet Loss Support Program Additional Resources

Día de Los Muertos, or “Day of the Dead,” is a two-day holiday to remember family members and friends who have died. Día de Los Muertos has origins throughout Mexico and parts of Latin America, and is celebrated on November 1 and 2. The holiday is not a version of Halloween, but rather an enduring ritual celebrated since ancient times. Valenca Valenzuela, MSW, Volunteer Coordinator at Dougy Center, joins us to talk about the history of Día de Los Muertos, her personal connection to the holiday, and how people from all traditions can respectfully celebrate Día de Los Muertos by honoring and acknowledging its cultural origins.  More about Dougy Center's Día de Los Muertos celebration.  Valenca's previous Grief Out Loud appearance - Born For This Work. Movies mentioned in this episode: Coco & The Book of Life. History of Día de los Muertos. Día de Los Muertos, es una celebración de dos días que tiene como fin recordar a miembros de la familia y amigos que han muerto. Tiene sus orígenes en diferentes regiones de México y partes de América Latina, y se celebra el 1 y 2 de noviembre. Esta festividad no es una versión de Halloween, sino un ritual perdurable celebrado desde la antigüedad. Valenca Valenzuela, MSW, Coordinadora de Voluntarios del Dougy Center se une para hablar acerca de la historia de Día de los muertos, su conexión personal con esta celebración, y cómo la gente de todas tradiciones puede celebrar este día de manera respetuosa, honrando y reconociendo sus orígenes culturales. Más sobre la celebración del Día de los Muertos del Dougy Center. Participación previa de Valenca en Grief Out loud – Born For This Work (Nacida para este trabajo). Películas mencionadas en este episodio: Coco & The Book of Life (El Libro de la vida). Historia del Día de los Muertos.

Charlie Tull has two lives, but he's not deceiving anyone. There's his civilian one that he lives with his kids and family and there's his professional one that he spends with his firefighter family. In 2018, one of his fire family members, Eli, died of a heart condition. Three years later in 2021, another member of his fire family, Scott, died of COVID. Charlie's first reaction to both of these shocking and unexpected deaths was numbness. Then, he went underground with his grief. Over time though he realized he needed and wanted to honor Eli and Scott by talking about them - and about the grief and pain of their deaths. 

Mark Chesnut is a NYC-based journalist, editor, and public speaker. His book, Prepare for Departure, Notes on a single mother, a misfit son, inevitable mortality, and the enduring allure of frequent flyer miles, is about love and care and acceptance – not the infamous acceptance from the 5 stages of grief – but the acceptance that can happen between a mother and son when one of their lives is coming to an end.

This episode travels to a lot of places, including: What Mark learned about grief from his mother after his father died. How those lessons shaped the way he approached caring for her and grieving her death. How Mark moved into a place of acceptance with his mother for the ways she responded when he came out to her as a young adult. The ways he dealt, and continues to deal with grief, even during the height of COVID, when he was unable to access his usual outlet, travel.  

This was meant to be a story about grieving in a foreign land. A story about navigating cancer treatment and funeral planning in a different language. And, it is that story, but it it's also the story of the accumulation of loss and grief.

Rebecca was 22 when her mother died of cancer. She was 23 when her fiancé died in a car crash, leaving her with their two young children. In the 8 years since she's also had a number of family members and friends die. In talking with Rebecca, you would think she is decades older based on the number of deaths she's experienced.

This ended up being a story of grieving in a foreign land, of explaining death and grief to children as they grow older, and of finding ways to live with both joy and grief.

Note: thanks to long-distance recording and spotty internet, the sound is a little wonky at times.