The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

Handling Crisis: The Anxious-Avoidant Clash


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This week on the Secure Love Podcast, Melissa and Drew share their breakthroughs and real-life applications of their therapy work with Julie Menanno. They've been learning to identify and break their negative cycles, but as always, the journey is full of ups and downs.

Imagine this: one of their twin boys slams his brother's hand in the door, leading to a frantic trip to the hospital. While Drew is at a work event, Melissa is left to handle the chaos alone. When she reaches out to Drew for help, they find themselves in a classic anxious-avoidant clash.

Melissa, feeling the urgency of the moment, needs immediate emotional validation. For her, addressing the issue right away is crucial, as waiting can make her feel like her emotions are being dismissed. On the other hand, Drew prefers to process things and discuss them later when emotions have cooled down. Can you see how this disconnect creates tension?

In these situations, Melissa often feels like a failure as a mom and wife. She battles dark thoughts, wondering if Drew and the kids might be better off without her. It's a heartbreaking struggle many can relate to.

Join us as we explore how Melissa and Drew navigate these intense moments, using the tools they've learned in therapy. How do they manage to connect despite their differing styles? And what can we learn from their journey to help in our own relationships? This episode is a powerful reminder that progress is possible, even when the road is tough.

  • Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
  • Visit Julie's website The Secure Relationship for all information on upcoming workshops and access to resources.
  • Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime
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The Secure Love Podcast with Julie MenannoBy Julie Menanno

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