Healers Get Vulnerable

One of my Rebel Therapist Masterminders mentioned recently that they like it that these episodes feature people at different stages of business. That got me to thinking. I've never really done an episode on the different stages and what gets folks from one stage to another. I realized I would have found an episode about that really helpful when I was going through the earlier stages, so I'm making it for you.

I'm gonna talk about what I know I needed and what I see my clients and colleagues needing in each of these stages. I'll give examples and refer you to Rebel Therapist episodes you might want to listen to about people going through each of these stages.

I'll use myself as an example, and I'll mention places where my journey could have gone better if I'd approached each stage differently and therefore made different choices. One of my biggest delights is when I can help you shorten your learning curve in creating your Rebel Business.

I'm using my own labels and parameters for these stages, and they may not fit with the labels you've heard before.

I'll talk about these stages:

Create stage: this is where you create your business beyond the therapy room.

Grow stage: this is where your business starts making a real income.

Expand stage. this is where you really hit your stride.

Limitless Growth stage: this is where you grow your empire to 7 figures and beyond.

for each stage, I'll talk about the biggest internal change that can happen, what we most need to do and put in place during this stage, and what can go wrong. I'll also tell you what programs I've got to help you through the different stages.

In this episode, part 1, we'll talk about the Create stage. Next time, in part 2, we'll cover the rest of the stages.

Show notes at https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/118

This week I'm talking to Abi Weissman, a psychologist, founder of Waves Group Practice in San Diego, providing queer and trans centered depth work, and a sought after speaker.

You've heard that public speaking is a very common fear, and you know it's an opportunity to make a big impact. I met Abi in person at the Diversity In Parenting Conference where she was giving a keynote. It was clear that she comes to speaking with a lot of joy and passion. I was so excited when she said she'd be willing to share her experience with making speaking into an additional source of income.

Make sure you stick around until the end when Abi gives advice to a person who wants to step into speaking and is getting started with pitching to conferences.

Topics Discussed In This Episode:

• How she makes her talks highly engaging
• Why she hosted a dance party in the middle of a talk
• Where she gives talks
• How she thinks about compensation
• How she decides whether a particular speaking opportunity is a good fit
• What she learned by being at an all-white presenters event
• How much she usually charges
• Negotiating childcare, Shabbat, and other important issues
• Why she loves public speaking
• How she uses slides effectively
• Helping her audience members do better work with their queer and trans clients
• Her advice for a person who wants to do more public speaking (SO GOOD!)

Show notes at http://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/117

Meet Ayelet Marinovich, an author, pediatric speech-language pathologist, parent educator, and podcaster.

Ayelet built the Learn With Less Empire, helping parents learn to maximize the time and energy they have with their tiny humans, so they can do the big job of raising them.

As you listen to Ayelet's journey to creating learn with less as it is today, there's a theme I want you to listen for:

Ask Your People.

One of the rebel therapists in my program asked me recently what sets apart people who's programs succeed, and this is one of those things: have a regular practice of asking your people.

Have a habit of asking your people from the very beginning and then along the way.

I think this episode can serve as a master class in that practice.

Ayelet asked her people at every step of building her company. The first person she listened to was herself. As a new parent, she asked herself what she was needing, and then she asked other parents and caregivers what they were needing. She responded to those things.

From there, she continued to ask what they were finding most helpful about what she was providing, and what else they needed. She iterated her program several times and published 2 best-selling books, all in response to what she learned in these conversations.

As you're listening to this episode, I hope you'll be getting yourself ready to take action on ASKING YOUR PEOPLE. If you haven't created the first iteration of your signature program, I hope you'll look for opportunities to start conversations to find out what your people are struggling with.

If you've already offered one iteration or more of your program, I hope you'll ask your people what they found most helpful and what else they need.

Asking is a practice we've got to do over and over, because we can't take one person's answer and run with it. Your people won't all agree.

We've got to ask and listen over and over again so that we can notice the patterns and tendencies.

Topics Discussed In This Episode:

• Creating her first offer beyond the treatment room
• Starting a podcast
• Creating her first online offer
• Building an email list
• How she markets her programs
• Self-publishing two best-selling books
• Balancing her online programs with her private practice

Show notes at http://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/116

I got something wrong this year. In August I said that to be right for my programs, you have to want to make at least 20k in the next year from your new business beyond the therapy room. I said that this should be your goal.

Here's why that didn't work:

• Your biggest reasons for leveling up are not about money.
• When you're in touch with your big reasons (again, not money), you tend to make money.
• Focusing on 20K sometimes puts Rebels in negative mindset spaces: grasping, comparison, or scarcity.

Rebel Therapists need to lean into a mindset space of curiosity, experimentation and creativity. That's how you'll get through the times when your current experiment fails.

We look at two examples of entrepreneurs who don't focus primarily on short-term financial goals. They focus on creating value, following what matters most to them, and serving people who are the most engaged with what they have to offer.

• Kim Restivo Lange, our guest from episode 114, talked about why she ended a profitable program to start a membership community.
• Then there's me. I only made 7K in the first year of my coaching business, and I'm glad I didn't decide to quit.

Reflections on my own relationship to financial goals over the past 10 years.

• Why making a robust income is important to me
• How I decide what risks are worth taking
• Working through financial fears and difficult moments

Show notes at http://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/115

This week I'm talking to Kim Restivo Lange, a therapist and entrepreneur in Wilmington, North Carolina. Listen as we talk about how and why she created the Growing Up Confident Collective, a membership for parents who want to help their kids with social and emotional learning. Kim tuned out the most common advice and conventions about what she SHOULD be doing in her business in order to create the vision for her collective. In this conversation we get into how she made the rebellious decision to start her community before some people would have said she had a big enough audience.

For me this brings up the question of how you decide what to create.

You can get advice from colleagues and coaches and consultants about what you SHOULD create, but if you don't create what really fascinates you and brings you joy week after week and month after month, what's the point?

As you create your signature program, how can you let JOY have a seat at the table from the very beginning?

As you listen to Kim talking about her program, I think you're gonna FEEL her genuine love and excitement.

Topics Discussed In This Episode:

• Why Kim loves to help adults come together and have important conversations with kids
• Starting with an online course and realizing it's not the right format for her
• Getting out of the expert trap and creating a community based on mutually sharing
• How her membership works
• Monthly topics including anger, anxiety, and sadness
• Bringing in guest speakers
• How she uses her bi-monthly email
• Free opt-ins she's created and what's working best
• Using Pinterest to grow her audience
• How she manages her days and her week
• The online platform she uses for her community
• Honing the skill of writing good copy
• Why she's glad she didn't wait to create her community

Show notes at http://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/114

THIS WEEK: This week I'm talking to Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, a financial therapist and entrepreneur. Lindsay describes herself as being at the very beginning of her journey of scaling her services beyond 1:1 or 1:2. We dive into how she's creating a group workshop and a 6-month course to help couples with personal finance. You'll hear how she is using all of her experiences in the therapy room to create thoughtful programs that encourage deep transformation.

As I listen to Linsday, I hear a really important combination. She's got her personal reasons for wanting to scale up beyond the therapy room AND she's got a bigger mission. She wants to help as many couples as possible to strengthen their relationships by making peace around money. She noticed that most of the personal finance resources out there were shame-based or overly restrictive. She's got a different perspective.

I see that combination of having personal reasons AND a bigger mission in myself and in my colleagues and clients who are able to create successful programs beyond the therapy room.

I'll tell you how this is true for me. I've got my personal reasons for loving this way of working. In my business, I get to work with people from everywhere. I don't have to trade time for dollars, and I get to use so many different parts of myself.

I've also got a bigger mission: I want To help visionary therapists and healers step into their leadership roles.

I want to encourage you to think about this too. If you're considering taking your work beyond the therapy room, what are your personal reasons for preferring a new way of working, and what's your bigger mission?

Topics Discussed In This Episode:

• How most messages in the personal finance space felt too shame-based and restrictive
• Choosing to make the transition beyond the therapy room
• Creating group and web-based services she can offer to people everywhere
• Why she insists on working with both people whenever a client is partnered
• How gender norms show up for her clients around money
• The issues she sees for clients who have money
• The workshop and course she's planning for 2020
• Why she'd tell her former self to raise her fees earlier
• Her morning rituals

Show notes at http://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/113

In this episode we're talking about productivity, time & energy management, and getting important shit done. I'm also going to invite you to a free planning session. Every year, I host a 90-minute planning session for all of my clients. This year I'm also hosting one for free for YOU my listeners. I'll tell you more about it in just a little bit.

I have gotten way more productive over the past few years. I've always been able to get a lot done, but I've gotten more efficient and more effective. I've noticed that for me, it's NOT that I'm working more. In fact, I'm working less hours. I've been taking the resources of time and energy really seriously in my life. I've been having a very intimate relationship with my calendar, using my calendar to block out every single task, and then actually sticking with those appointments. I've been tracking my time using an app so that I can analyze what I'm spending my time on. Breanne and I use notion to keep track of all the tasks, templates and processes in my business. I've created theme days so that for every day of the week, I'm clear about what I'm focusing on. And here's the thing: I think that stuff is fabulous. AND I want you to try all of it too. BUT I also want you to hear from people who do it differently.

As much as I love MY systems, I know you'll benefit from hearing about what works for other business owners.

We're going to get into it with 2 different rebellious business owners. You'll hear what's actually working for each of them to get more done in less time and to move forward with their most important goals.

Laetitia Phan:

First we'll hear from Laetitia Phan, a psychologist in New Caledonia who helps warrior helpers find meaning and joy in their practices and lives to make the world a better place for everyone.

Laetitia faced 2 big-time management problems. She hated doing the admin stuff in her business. She felt it was robbing her of her time because she didn't have effective systems or rituals for it. She also lacked the time to do some of the things she was really excited about, like creating art about her work. She found that she was procrastinating about what mattered most.

Then came BADDASS FRIDAYS. She set aside one day a week to do everything she HAS to do AND everything she WANTS to do.

Highlights from Laetitia:

• Why she used to feel sad and anxious about her time management
• How she creates a framework for her time using a weekly log and bullet journal
• Exactly how she spends her Badass Fridays and gets into her Badass Creative Zone
• How she created a reward ritual that encourages her to create more art and content
• Why she likes the Pomodoro Technique

Ivy Griffin:

If you haven't heard Ivy's previous episode, go to rebeltherapist.me/ivy-griffin to hear ivy talk about how she narrowed her niche, got off insurance panels, and grew her practice, all while working in a way that preserves her energy as a highly sensitive person. In this episode, Ivy talks about how she manages a team of 7 therapists at Thrive Therapy Center as well as her own caseload. Ivy uses theme days, dedicating certain days of the week to certain categories of work.

Highlights from Ivy:

• How she helps the therapists in her center manage their time
• The place she sees people get stuck: progress notes!
• Working from home to actually get more done
• How she uses the Trello app for task management
• Creating weekly and monthly to do lists
• Playing games with herself to get started on her daily list
• How she manages writing for 2 different blogs every month
• A typical day in the life
• Noticing that she can get a lot done when she consistently does small amounts over time
• Creating strict boundaries around when she's not working

Show notes at http://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/112

This week I'm talking to Dr. Holly Sawyer, a psychotherapist, teacher, and author in Philadelphia. She shares the process of writing and releasing her new book It's Time To Talk About Trauma.

As I talked to Dr. Holly, I noticed her commitment to taking steps, doing the important stuff and never giving up. You'll hear the steps she took to clarify the book she needed to write, write, edit, publish and promote it. If you're thinking of writing a book, this conversation will probably make you feel more ready to get started.

You'll also hear behind the scenes stuff about her support system, daily rituals, how she manages her time, and how she stays organized.

Topics Discussed In This Episode:

• Becoming a therapist to provide what she needed when she was looking for one.
• Helping professional women of color in her therapy practice.
• Why she wrote her book about trauma and how she choose the workbook format.
• Creating a "Personal Bill Of Rights" in the book.
• The myth we all hear about how a book gets written and Dr. Holly's very different truth.
• Self-Publishing and creating a book tour by starting with local bookstores.
• Embracing "NO."
• Working on her second book, this time for mental health entrepreneurs.
• How she structures her mornings and manages her time throughout the day.
• Advice to her former self: don't devalue yourself, AND find an accountant right away.

Show notes at http://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/111

Our guest is Kelly Pratt, the founder of SO DO IT! A community helping creative women take action on what matters to them.

Listen as we talk about how she created her in-person So Do It! Salons and her online So Do It! Society. You'll also hear about what she's creating next.

For those of us who have (or want to have) online programs, it's important to figure out how to create high-quality experiences for our participants. We strive to figure out how to hold on to what works well in person while also taking advantage of what the internet makes possible. We also want to avoid the things that can make being online feel toxic or distracting.

In our conversation, we talk about the choices Kelly's made about what online platform she uses for her programs, and how she brings some of the best aspects of in-person work to the online space.

We also talk about how Kelly networks both online and in person. It's her #1 marketing strategy, and she does it with authenticity and without attachment to the outcome.

Topics Discussed In This Episode:

• Why taking action is more important than getting it done
• Her personal story of returning to dance
• Creating So Do It! In-person Salons
• Creating accountability for her participants
• Creating safety in her online community
• Bringing the best of in-person interactions to the online space
• Her vision of an online "village"
• Networking as her #1 marketing action

Show notes at http://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/110

Our guest is Sonalee Rashatwar, a social worker, activist, and public speaker based in Philadelphia who works primarily with sexual trauma, internalized fatphobia, and immigrant kid guilt.

I was so excited to talk to Sonalee because I've been learning from them and inspired by them for a while, and I knew she would have wisdom to share about being public with views that are seen as radical and edgy. As many of the therapists and other healers I work with step into work that is anti-oppression or even just work that is outside the mainstream, they are feeling the fear. These therapists and other healers fear judgment from their peers and their potential clients, and from that unknown "they." They also fear loss of income. Sonalee has been through real measurable loss of income, and has come through it. She shares that story with us. As you're getting ready to grow your following and put yourself out there in a bigger and even braver way, it's helpful to hear the truth from someone who's been there.

Another topic I loved exploring in this conversation is capitalism. Sonalee's way of thinking about capitalism really resonated with me, especially the ideas they shared about how they resist some of the most toxic messages capitalism encourages us to believe.

Topics Discussed In This Episode:

• Instagram strategy
• Digital activism
• Surviving being attacked and framed on Instagram
• Resisting toxic influences from capitalism
• Creating body positivity workshops
• Public speaking
• Daily rituals
• "Boring" self-care

Show notes at http://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/109