In this coaching session, I have the great pleasure of sitting down with Ryan to explore the weight he's been carrying for over 16 years in his pursuit of performance and achievement.

And what was quietly underneath it all was a deep yearning to be seen. To know that he matters and that he is important.

Early in our session, Ryan began dropping into the exhaustion and pain of no longer being able to carry the mask he'd built to protect himself from a young age.

What we uncovered traced back to Ryan being 15 years old, when he was cut from his football team.

Beneath that experience was a deep fear that his father's love was conditional on him remaining the football star.

From this event, which left him in shock, he developed a need to perform, chase attention, and prove that he was good enough.

His sense of worth became increasingly dependent on being seen, being significant, and being impressive.

And while this strategy had served him since he was a teenager, we could clearly see how the protectors we develop early in life eventually become masks that drain us and prevent us from fully being ourselves.

Throughout this session, you'll witness the raw and vulnerable experience of Ryan beginning to let go of his mask as I support him on that journey.

Here, you see the beautiful and insightful experience of a man dropping the masks that are no longer serving him, stepping into deeper self-leadership, and bringing the different parts of himself into relationship.

It was an incredible honour to witness Ryan over this period.

In this coaching session, we explore:

• Why Ryan has felt the need to perform and chase attention for over 16 years

• The day he was cut from his football team at 15, and the impact that experience had on him

• The moment his fiancée told him he loved attention more than money, and what that revealed for him

• The two parts inside of him: the performer who longs to impress, and the dreamer who needed to escape his pain

• How the fear of not being good enough can make it difficult to ever relax into ourselves

• The role of shame, and how allowing ourselves to stay present with it can actually bring us closer to connection rather than pushing us away from it

• What it now looks like for Ryan to stop trying to earn his worth and simply allow himself to be

• What came up for him during the breathwork journey at the end of the session

I was deeply touched by Ryan's capacity to step so fully and deeply into the session, offering a powerful example of the courage it takes to allow ourselves to be truly seen.

If you've ever struggled to show up fully as yourself, or found yourself caught in the exhausting pursuit of proving your worth, I believe this session will absolutely be for you.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Schedule a free connection call: https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

"Many men would say I would die for you, but what your kids really need is for you to live for them."

These are the moving words from my next guest and dear friend, Rasmus Ingerslev.

Rasmus is a Danish entrepreneur who spent three decades building two of Europe's largest health club groups, fitness dk and Fresh Fitness, before founding Wexer Virtual, which serves many of the world's leading club groups.

He's chaired IHRSA, the Health and Fitness Association, and has been named one of Denmark's top CEOs.

Today, he channels that same drive into his most recent venture, Manhug Coaching, helping men rebuild who they are at their core from the ground up.

But underneath the many impressive accolades, accomplishments, and external success is a deep and raw past, from which much of his drive was fuelled.

I feel honoured to share this raw conversation with him, going deep into his personal story and exploring the experiences that shaped him, from the 11-year-old boy who wanted to end his life after enduring physical abuse, sexual abuse, and bullying, to the man he's become today.

Early on, he instinctively decided that he was the only person he could actually rely on, building an armour first through his physicality and eventually through a business empire.

But it was moving through his divorce, where the image of 'having it all' began to fall apart, that finally demanded he go all in on the work he'd spent his whole life trying to outrun.

This eventually led him towards the work he offers today, forged within the foundation of extensive psychotherapy, psychedelics, somatic therapy, tantra, and couples work.

I first met Rasmus at a tantra retreat three years ago and felt an immediate connection with him, seeing in him a man almost 20 years older who'd lived both the heights of success and the depths of failure, with a deep drive to face the parts of himself he'd long avoided.

I feel fortunate to say our connection has only deepened since...

In our podcast together, we explore an underlying question that many men rarely ask:

"What do you do when you've got everything you thought you wanted and needed, but it doesn't fill the emptiness from within?"

In our conversation, discover:

• How a childhood filled with neglect and abuse led to Rasmus's incessant drive to build a physical armor and business empire.

• How performance and achievement become a way of trying to prove we're good enough, and why it never works.

• The moment Rasmus realized his life had been driven by the operating system of a little boy.

• His experience of moving through infidelity and how it prompted him towards doing the deeper work.

• How he plunged into therapeutic and self-development disciplines of every kind to try to save his marriage, and what he discovered about himself in the process.

• Rasmus's personal insights around the journey of moving from suffering to surviving to thriving, and his lived recognitions of the type of father he wants to be.

Of all the podcasts I've done, this has been one of my favourites, moving me deeply to tears.

As many of you might know, I put a lot of work into my podcast, but if there is one that I really encourage you to watch, it's this one.

This episode's for anyone who's done everything imaginable to fill the void from within, but was never able to get the results they were hoping for.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Schedule a free connection call: https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Rasmus:

◼ Website: https://manhugcoaching.com/

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ringerslev/

In this live coaching session, you'll have the opportunity to listen to the challenges Ali is navigating as we explore the loss of connection and attraction in his romantic partnership.

What initially looked like a strong circumstantial change that shifted their dynamic turned out to be something completely different, as we explored Ali's contribution to this dynamic.

What we discovered is how much of it traces back to difficult experiences he's navigated, through which he has had to adapt and learn how to protect himself.

And while it might have supported him at one stage of his life, it was now leading to a breakdown in the closeness he was experiencing with his partner, and the attraction.

Discover here how painful experiences with our family can teach us a sense of self-reliance, something I observe with many men, and how ruptures in our connections can lead us to unconsciously distance ourselves from the closeness we actually crave from our partners.

If you listen closely, I'd argue that this is going to be a session many of you might be able to relate to...

To me, it highlights that powerful leadership isn't just about the ways we lead and direct areas such as the provision for our relationships, but rather, it often begins by honestly assessing the aspects we're quietly carrying that are impacting our connection.

This one was for sure a relatable one for me, and I know for many high performers I work with as well.

Here you get to discover the vulnerable story of a man who's father tried to take his own life when he was 18, how a five year relationship ended at the height of his addiction, and how his nervous system learned early on that other people's wellbeing was his job and his alone.

In this coaching session, find out:

• The big life shift that changed the dynamic between Ali and his partner

• How he went from being her lover to feeling like her caregiver

• The night his father's suicide attempt left him feeling responsible for others

• How over responsibility can turn into a lifelong habit of self-reliance and not being able to receive

• How ruptures in the relationship taught him to no longer be available for connection

• Why always being the one to lead can actually be a way of avoiding being let down

• Why praising a woman for who she is, not just what she does, can entirely change the dynamic

• What came up for him during the breathwork journey that closed out the session

I carry deep respect and appreciation for Ali's willingness to bring this topic so openly to our recorded session.

To me, it takes a big man to admit what's not working in the relationship, especially around sensitive topics such as love and attraction, and to have the willingness to examine his part.

This episode's for anyone who's built their worth around being the one who's always got themselves, and has never stopped to ask what it might cost them to not allow themselves to need someone.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

◼ Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (one spot available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

Jord Cuiper returns, and this one came straight off the back of our last conversation.

After a vibrant discussion in our last episode, we had a personal check in, sharing how the experience was for both of us.

I shared some honest reflections, and it became clear there was more worth exploring, leading us to this follow up.

At the core of this episode we examine the developmental journey that many high achievers and high performers will recognize:

First, there's the path of relentless pursuit, often driven by the basic needs we have not yet owned, and the self-protective patterns we have developed along the way.

Then comes a second path toward alignment, toward how we feel in the moment, and toward following one's inner truth. But eventually, even that second path can become its own constraint.

Because from that place, alignment starts to override one's innate drive toward creation and ambition, but also an honest relationship with reality itself.

And it's from that place where the pursuit of the third mountain actually begins, which is what we fundamentally focus on in this interview.

For those who have not listened to the last episode, my encouragement is to do so, but it's not a requirement.

In this conversation, find out:

• How the alignment you worked hard to build can end up holding you back

• The difference between working hard out of fear and working hard because it genuinely matters to you

• How resistance to difficulty can drain you more than the difficulty itself

• The two first mountains: moving from achievement to alignment, and what's waiting on the other side of both

• Why keeping your cup full is not the goal, and why pouring it out for something you care about is where real fulfillment comes from

• The difference between a value and a principle

• How to build systems that let you pursue big goals without losing the people who matter most

• Jord's "more cowbells" principle, and what it means to be the kind of man who shows up for others

This was one of my more personally raw conversations I've had on this podcast, and I'm grateful to Jord for allowing the space for that.

This episode's for anyone who's done the deep inner work yet found themselves, somewhere along the way, at war with their own ambition.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

◼ Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (one spot available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Jord:

◼ Website: https://www.jordcuiper.com/

◼ Check out "Ara 2": https://www.ara2.ai/

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordcuiper/

◼ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/jord-cuiper-25b25a14/⁠

◼ Episodes you might enjoy:

Jord Cuiper: The One Thing Stopping You From Actually Changing | EP 80: https://open.spotify.com/episode/79i0kTIeJ0oCjrQc0yWCMQ?si=53c35b9219cc4028

Jord Cuiper: Stepping Into Self-Leadership | EP 1: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/episode/2xbdDWEghQppWavOXFEfJF

Jord Cuiper is back for his 2nd round, and this interview feels like a full-circle moment, considering he was part of the first episode I ever published.

He's an executive and self-leadership coach with over a decade of experience working with founders, business owners & high-level professionals across the world.

As I see it, his work cuts straight to the core of what actually holds people back:

◾ The blind spots they cannot see in themselves, the self-protective patterns they might have built over a lifetime, and the foundational values they've disconnected from.

In his own life, Jord founded his first tech company at 24, scaling it from zero to a seven-figure business serving clients across Europe.

Then, in 2018, a near-fatal health crisis forced him to step down from the business and confront the aspects of himself that led him to this definitive moment, requiring him to completely rebuild his life from the ground up.

And this became the very foundation of the work he provides today...

Back in the beginning of 2024, I went through a defining period myself, where my business scaled 2x, and at the same time I was constantly overwhelmed, needing to confront the fact that I was at the brink of burnout, even though I was deeply trained within the understandings of the nervous system.

I reached out to him, knowing if someone could help me through this time, it would be him.

That led to him becoming my coach over a 16-month period, guiding me toward building a deeper form of self-leadership from the inside out. The shifts I made during that time were foundational, and I carry much of what we built together into my work to this day.

In this episode, Jord and I return to the core of his work:

Why change is harder than we think, why knowing is never enough, and what it actually takes to stop the pattern and step into something more self-led.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why doing more work on yourself can actually be a way of avoiding the one thing that actually needs to change

• Why knowing what needs to shift and actually shifting it are two completely different things

• How the identity you're most proud of can become the biggest obstacle to real change

• The difference between what you value and what you need, and why confusing the two keeps men stuck

• What it actually looks like to move from boy psychology to man psychology in daily life

• When to push through and when to ease off, and how to tell the difference

• What Jord learned about himself when injury took his passion for running away and forced him to stop

I loved this conversation with Jord...

He's direct, honest, and practically grounded in a way that only comes from having walked one's own path. I hold deep respect for the work he's done on himself and continues to bring to the people he serves.

This episode is for anyone who's done the work, listened to the podcasts, attended the circles, yet still feels like something essential has not changed.

—

Connect with Alex :

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

◼ Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (one spot available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Jord:

◼ Website: https://www.jordcuiper.com

◼ Check out "Ara 2": https://www.ara2.ai/

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordcuiper/

◼ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jord-cuiper-25b25a14/

◼ Episodes you might enjoy:

Jord Cuiper: Stepping Into Self-Leadership | EP 1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2xbdDWEghQppWavOXFEfJF

Om Rupani is back for his second round on Heart of Man...

And today, I'm very excited to address this exact topic with him through his background in BDSM, which I see is very prevalent in the lives of many men:

Nice Guy Syndrome.

When I completed his seven day BDSM Fundamentals training last year, it was a transformative experience for me, and one of the first things I recognised was how powerful it was to resolve any remaining remnants of myself still navigating the Nice Guy Mask.

On the podcast, we've had Dr. Robert Glover, who wrote the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy," on the show twice. But today, we'll have the opportunity to look at this through the lens of someone who supports individuals every day to become better leaders through the medium of BDSM, which I see offers him a unique perspective.

For those who need a refresher:

Om Rupani is a teacher, author, and speaker who's been teaching about BDSM, polarity, and man–woman relating for almost 2 decades.

He's also the author of Prerequisites to Ecstasy, a no-nonsense guide exploring what it truly takes to create the love and intimacy we say we want.

Today, his work focuses on helping men embody their masculinity with confidence and depth, supporting women in cultivating passionate, harmonious relationships with their men, and guiding singles and couples to consciously integrate elements of BDSM into their intimacy.

In this conversation, Om and I explore:

• What the Nice Guy persona is, and why it functions as a mask to control how others see you

• How it forms through the mother wound and the absence of strong fathers

• Why physical training alone misses the point, and what actually dissolves this pattern

• The distinction between domineering and dominant, and what genuine leadership requires

• Why BDSM is the clearest way Om knows to teach containment

• The three categories of dominance and submission

• Why a woman will only surrender to a man whose leadership genuinely improves her life

• Learning to be at peace with who you are, and letting people see you

I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation with Om and this work touchrs directly on what so many men don't recognize they're carrying:

the identity they feel required to uphold in order to be seen as worthy, feel safe, and get their needs met.

Please note this conversation might be triggering to some of you, as this work was initially with me.

Whether you agree or not, my encouragement is to stay open and notice what arises within you.

Over time, that very approach has supported me in discovering deeper truth about what I value, what I care about, and who I am.

This episode is for anyone who's spent years performing goodness while quietly suppressing who they actually are, and who is ready to stop letting the fear of disapproval run their life.

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

◼ Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (Two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Om:

◼ Learn more about Om's upcoming retreat: https://omrupani.org/#/dscouples

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omrupani1

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/OmRupani

◼ Listen to Om's Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/66UofO9yMSCIm5AyyXg4yO?si=5e085ac13b9e4b30

◼ Read Om's Book "Prerequisites to Ecstasy": https://www.amazon.com/Prerequisites-Ecstasy-No-Nonsense-Really-Create/dp/1521533768

◼ Episodes you might enjoy:

Om Rupani: What BDSM Can Teach Us About Becoming Better Leaders | EP 59: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3cXc0zMCrJQnvCZvDhiJ3E

Igor Vamadeva Kufayev is an artist, spiritual master and teacher whose work is dedicated to the potential inherent in human birth.

Following a radical transformation of consciousness and the spontaneous unfolding of grace in his mid-thirties, culminating in a fully embodied Self-recognition, he has since served as a conduit of transmission for awakening into the new era of heart-centered consciousness.

His live gatherings, extended programmes known as immersions, are renowned for their intensity, clarity and catalytic potential.

Drawing from Tantric Śaivism, direct energetic transmission and somatic integration, his work offers a compelling contribution to contemporary understanding of spiritual evolution.

Originally trained as a painter, Igor bridges scholarship, poetic articulation and lived realisation. Today, he is the author of Camatkāra: The Hidden Path (2023) and KUṆḌALINĪ: The Goddess as the Power of Self-Recognition in Tantric Śaivism (2026).

As a householder and family man, Igor is lovingly raising his three children with his partner Amrita Ma Devi.

He continues to guide an international community of practitioners, developing frameworks for exploring the fullest potential of awakened embodiment.

We come together for this conversation at a time when the challenges facing men seem more pressing than ever.

And as I see it, the crisis men are navigating today runs deeper than most conversations are willing to explore.

The loss of rites of passage, masculine mentorship, the living transmission of what it means to be a man. These aren't things that can be recovered through surface level approaches. They require a deeper reckoning.

In this episode, Igor and I explore:

• Why the crisis of masculinity runs deeper than what meets the eye, and where it actually begins

• What men lost when rites of passage, the warrior spirit, and masculine mentorship disappeared from modern life

• Igor's personal story

• What masculine and feminine energy actually are, and why every man carries both

• What it means to be a spiritual warrior, and how that quality shows up in the ordinary demands of daily life

• Why a man's true strength lives in his heart, and how courage and forgiveness come from the same place

• How to face uncertainty without collapsing or hardening

• What mature masculinity actually looks like: unwavering on principle, and open in the heart

I found myself deeply touched and enlivened by this conversation with Igor...

What I experienced in him was something deeply rare: the quality of a man who has been tested by life at every level and has remained open hearted.

I hold deep reverence for the path he's walked and the work he brings into the world.

This episode is for any man who has felt lost within the structures of our modern times, and would like to understand, at the deepest level, the root of these challenges and how to move forwards...

—

Connect with Alex:

◼ Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/

◼ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

◼ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

◼ Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

◼ Email: [email protected]

◼ Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (Two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Igor:

◼ Website: https://igorkufayev.org/

◼ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/igorkufayev/

◼ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FlowingWakefulness

◼ Live Immersions & Events: https://igorkufayev.org/events

◼ Read Camatkāra: The Hidden Path: https://songpublishing.org/product/camatkara-softcover/

◼ Read KUṆḌALINĪ: The Goddess as the Power of Self-Recognition in Tantric Śaivism: https://songpublishing.org/product/kundalini/?v=b6bb43df4525

◼ Explore Flowing Wakefulness: https://igorkufayev.org/flowing-wakefulness/

Disclaimer: Due to a studio change and some equipment issues, the audio quality in this episode isn't what you're used to from Heart of Man. My team has done the best with what we had. I can however say with absolute confidence, the conversation itself was worth every minute. I hope you feel the same.

Gil 'the Grid' Gomes Leal is the founder and artistic director of the Amenti dance collective and creator of the Amenti MoveMeant method.

As a choreographer, performer, and movement teacher drawing from hip hop, African embodiment, Jungian psychology, and shadow work, Gil now incorporates movement as a form of medicine, connecting others to the inherent wisdom of their body.

Gil grew up inside a Jehovah's Witness household in Rotterdam, where the joy, freedom, and expression he found through dance became a direct threat to his sense of belonging...

It was within those early years of tension between attachment and his authentic expression that the foundation of everything he now teaches was laid...

Through workshops, immersions, and trainings, Gil works alongside the Amenti collective with individuals to access their innate intelligence, guiding them towards deeper empowerment and healing of incomplete past experiences.

I attended one of Amenti's workshops in Bali last year and was struck, as a somatic practitioner myself, by the potent places I got to access through this movement method.

At the core of this conversation is a question Gil and I keep returning to:

• how can we move through experiences where we may have been legitimately victimized, and come into a felt embodiment of our agency and power, which I would argue is our birthright.

We explore how this can be reclaimed through movement, shadow work, and the willingness to stop identifying as a victim of our story and start taking responsibility for it.

In this episode, find out:

• How Gil's childhood within the Jehovah's Witnesses shaped him

• The value of the pain teacher, and what it teaches

• Why authenticity requires the willingness to lose people, and the cost of choosing attachment over truth

• The link between unresolved trauma and powerlessness, and how the body can become the access towards agency

• The difference between being victimized by an event and adopting the victim identity as a way of life

• Why anger is such a foundational emotion to work with, and the wisdom it carries

• Why fundamental safety can never be a given, and why the focus according to Gil is about creating brave spaces rather than safe ones

I loved this conversation with Gil, and admire the way he was fuelled by his own pain, making incredible art out of it that individuals worldwide now get to benefit from.

This episode is for anyone who has spent years feeling like life is happening to them, and is ready to step into the truth that it no longer has to.

—

Connect with Alex Lehmann:

🌐 Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

💼 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

✉️ Email: [email protected]

🤝Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (one spot available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Gil 'the Grid' Gomes Leal:

🌐 Amenti Collective: https://www.amenti.world/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gilthegrid/

📸 Instagram (Amenti): https://www.instagram.com/amenti.world/

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmentiMovemeant

—

🔥 Episodes you might enjoy:

Charles Myssy: Shadow Work, Self-Sabotage & Breaking Free From The Patterns Running Your Life | EP 76: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0o7RSS2SerQcmAAU3y2b94?si=whi24n2_QSOcrcFCDc7UAg

Charles Myssy is a Shadow Alchemist, facilitator, and founder of Shadow Mastery Institute, an international organization guiding people through somatic shadow work, archetypal exploration, and inner child integration.

In his work, he guides people into the parts of themselves they have long avoided, supporting them to move from unconscious pattern and protective armor into integrated, embodied wholeness.

While many know Charles through his widely popular social media content and humor, few know the version of him from which all of it originated.

The one who grew up in scarcity...

Who watched his mother fight to keep it all together as the sole provider...

Who took on the weight of the household as the sole masculine figure before he had any idea what that weight meant...

The absence of a father whose acceptance and recognition he deeply craved...

By the time he was old enough to understand the impact these experiences had on him, he'd already spent years building a version of himself designed to make sure it never happened again, leading to years of armoring, anger, of building himself into someone the world couldn't hurt again.

Eventually, this led him down the journey of going back to reclaim that what got left behind.

In our conversation together, we examine Charles's journey from the wounds of his past toward his own shadow integration, and what that process of reclamation truly demands of a man.

At the center of this conversation is a question Charles and I have both lived from the inside out: what happens to the parts of us that were too painful to be seen? And what becomes possible when we finally stop running?

In this conversation, Charles and I explore:

• Charles's personal journey of growing up without a father and how that shaped him

• How unprocessed pain can show up in our lives, leading to sabotage in our relationships

• The warrior archetype, what it is, its immature expression, and what it looks like when it finally matures

• The victim archetype, why it sits at the root of so many of our patterns, and how we can move past it

• Why understanding your wounds is not the same as moving through an embodied healing process

• What genuine shadow integration actually requires

• How our relationships will always show us exactly what we haven't yet faced in ourselves

• What it means to lead your inner world rather than be led by it

I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation with Charles...

What drew me to his work initially was how he used the medium of humor and entertainment to bring these truths to light. What I found underneath was a sincere, caring, and deeply committed man, and I hold deep respect for the path he has walked to bring this work into the world.

This episode is for any man who has spent his whole life moving forward, yet never once looked back at what is driving him in the first place...

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Connect with Alex Lehmann:

🌐 Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

💼 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

✉️ Email: [email protected]

🤝Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Charles Myssy:

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/charlesmyssy/

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK5UYoaLpbVcaB0_jz0bBKg

👥 Discover more about "Shadow Mastery": https://go.tribr.com.au/smpre-charles

"The freedom lifestyle promises liberation, adventure, authenticity, connection on your own terms... It sounded perfect, and for a while it was. But here's what it actually delivered: freedom and profound loneliness, options and an inability to choose, movement and nowhere that feels like home."

These are the words written by my next guest, Nora Wendel, in an Instagram post that went viral a few months ago...

When I first read it, it stopped me in my tracks, because it named something I had been watching play out around me for years and had never heard said quite so directly.

With an MSc in Psychology, today Nora operates in the field of applied social and relational psychology, supporting individuals in coming into a deeper sense of belonging, community, and connection.

She's been initiated into this work through her own lived experience of these struggles...

Born to European parents and raised across multiple countries, such as Nepal, India, the UK, and Indonesia, the question of where do I belong, where is home for me, was a lived struggle she had to move through herself.

Today, she leads with the understanding that home, belonging, and community are not a given but something that has to be consciously chosen and built.

It's that lived experience that now sits at the heart of everything she teaches.

I reached out to Nora after seeing that post, wanting to examine with her the development of the freedom lifestyle, what it's costing us in the process, and how to bring deeper intentionality towards what we want to create.

In this conversation, Nora and I dive into:

• The shadow side of the freedom lifestyle and why so many of us end up lonely, stuck, and disconnected

• Why the inner work you do alone will only take you so far, and what only a relationship can teach you

• How your values are the compass when too many choices leave you paralyzed

• How unprocessed grief can keep us choosing surface level connections over depth

• What rites of passage and community gave us that's absent today

• How to build the kind of relationships that actually last

• How to take a stand for the kind of connection you want to create

• How to know when it's time to leave a connection, and when you're just running from discomfort

This interview examines subjects that have not been addressed in this way before on this show...

Belonging.

Loneliness.

And the quiet cost of a life built solely around freedom.

And underneath all of it, the question that actually matters:

"What are we really here for?"

—

Connect with Alex Lehmann:

🌐 Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast

💼 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom

🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

✉️ Email: [email protected]

🤝Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP

—

Connect with Nora Wendel:

🌐 Website: https://norawendel.com/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/norawendel/

🔥 Episodes you might enjoy:

Connor Beaton: The Hidden Wound Behind High-Performers (And How It Sabotages Self-Worth) | EP 74: https://open.spotify.com/episode/68u8Eg2p5W98HPR4o5wZP7?si=6RRLiApqQvSu57q3PZPqNA

Alison Armstrong: Why Chemistry Isn’t Enough In Relationships: The Truth About Attraction, Sex And Lasting Love | EP 73: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2XPe9J6Ti5A6xhNsoSmYWe?si=7iYzlDWWTMGEEjr7w_1RQQ