Sober Vibes: Alcohol free lifestyle tips for long-term sobriety, whether you're sober curious or ready to quit drinking for good

Hiding Behind a Family Member’s Addiction? Recovery, Grief, and Finding Authenticity with Tom Farley


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Have you ever hidden behind someone else’s chaos to avoid facing your struggles? When one person in a family becomes labeled as "the problem," does it make it easier for everyone else’s issues to fly under the radar?

In episode 238 of Sober Vibes, I welcome  Tom Farley to the show, and we talk about family addiction, grief, and Tom's recovery. Tom knows these family dynamics firsthand. As the brother of comedy legend, Tom spent years watching his sibling’s very public battle with addiction while downplaying his relationship with alcohol.

After Chris’s devastating overdose, Tom poured his grief into advocacy, often speaking about his brother’s addiction. But behind the scenes, he was still comparing himself to others whose addictions looked worse, convincing himself he didn’t have “a real problem.”

It wasn’t until he surrendered seven years ago that Tom realized recovery is about so much more than abstinence. As he puts it, “I just needed the clarity that sobriety gave me so I could work on all these things.” Those “things” included finding his authentic self after decades of being known only as “Chris Farley’s brother.”

Tom is a passionate advocate for mental health and addiction
treatment. He works at Recovery.com, connecting people with the resources they need to heal. As a speaker and author, he shares his journey to break stigma, inspire hope, and foster connection.

This amazing conversation explores how family roles, comparison, and grief can both hinder and, ultimately, shape our paths to recovery.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • Growing up in a large Irish Wisconsin family where drinking was normalized
  • How his brothers' visible struggle made it easy for Tom to minimize his drinking
  • Tom’s multiple sobriety attempts, including five years before relapse
  • The turning point that led him to lasting recovery nearly seven years ago
  • How he learned to separate the “addictive Chris” from the brother he loved
  • Why vulnerability is essential in building genuine connections in sobriety
  • Tom’s journey to finding his authentic self and his purpose in recovery advocacy

Connect with Tom:

Recovery.com 

Podcast 

Tom's Book 

Resources Mentioned:

Sober 1:1 Coaching 

The Sobriety Circle 

The After-Emot

🚨 Ready to stop the start-over cycle with alcohol?
 Apply for 1:1 coaching with me and get a clear, supportive path to lasting sobriety using my Sober Freedom Method™. We’ll uncover your triggers, build routines that work, and help you feel calm, confident, and entirely in control without relying on willpower.

👉 Apply now: CLICK HERE

Thank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast.


Connect w/ Courtney:
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Sober Vibes: Alcohol free lifestyle tips for long-term sobriety, whether you're sober curious or ready to quit drinking for goodBy Courtney Andersen-Sobriety Coach & Author

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