Honeydew Me

By Emma Norman & Cass AndersonHealth & Fitness Education Self-Improvement Sexuality

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Honeydew Me episodes

June 10270. We Asked Our Resident Gyno Everything You're Afraid To ft. Dr. Maria Sophocles
You asked, our favorite gynecologist answered. We brought Dr. Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB-GYN of 30 years, back on Honeydew Me to tackle the questions our community has been too nervous to ask their own doctors (which we COMPLETELY understand).
Before we got into your questions, she explained exactly why so many of us feel behind: most of us learned about sex from porn, a sibling, or a condom on a banana, and the U.S. still largely refuses to teach it well. (The Dutch, it turns out, are doing it right, and their teens are WAY better off for it.) So no, it's not your fault you don't know this stuff, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Now let's get into iiiiit!

We cover:
When a doctor shames you for asking a question: why a dismissive provider is usually acting from their own discomfort, not your ignorance, and how to advocate for yourself anyway.

Can your gynecologist tell if you've had sex recently? The honest answer is yes, but only in one specific case. Dr. Maria explains what actually gives it away and why there's no reason for shame either way.

What to expect at your first gyno appointment: why a first visit may not involve an exam at all, what the full exam actually includes, and how to make it a two-step process if you're nervous.

Do pap smears have to hurt? Dr. Maria validates that the pain is real and pushes back on the "tough it out" culture, with specific things you can ask for: a smaller speculum, numbing, and meds beforehand.

Scared of the gyno or putting it off? Facing the real barriers honestly, including bias in women's healthcare, and why skipping care still only hurts you.

What an "abnormal" pap really means: why it's usually not what you fear, what the levels actually signify, and how the HPV connection factors in.

The fishy-smell question, answered: what BV actually is, the surprising polyester link, and how to treat it (including whether boric acid really works).
This conversation is educational and not a substitute for your own provider's advice.
Connect with Dr. Sophocles on Instagram @mariasophoclesmd, on her website here, or by ordering a copy of The Bedroom Gap!
⁠
Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠
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55 min
June 03269. The 7 Years of Sex You're Skipping: Anna Nickerson on Cherry, Mess-Free Period Sex & Pleasure
Anna Nickerson is the founder of Cherry, the first brand closing the gap between period care and pleasure. Their first product is a menstrual disc designed for completely mess-free period sex. She joins Cass and Emma to talk about why period sex is still taboo (and what we lose by avoiding it: roughly seven years of sex over a woman's lifetime), how to actually use a disc without panicking, the difference between period positivity and period neutrality, and why a man who refuses period sex is usually telling on himself.
In this episode:
The real girl math we need to be doing: skipping intimacy during your period adds up to almost seven years of sex over your lifetime

Period positivity vs period neutrality: what actually destigmatizes the conversation around periods and why we don't have to aim for absolutely LOVING our periods

What happens when we apologize for being on our periods and what changes when we stop

The double standard nobody calls out: women accept everything men's bodies do (the semen, the sweat, the lack of a headboard), but our blood is somehow the grossest thing in the relationship

Cherry's menstrual disc explained: what it's made of, where it actually sits (under the cervix, not in the vaginal canal), how to insert it without it being scary, and why your partner shouldn't feel it

The Berkeley study that found lead in tampons and the lack of FDA enforcement that lets it stay there

Why a partner being disgusted by period blood is a red flag worth taking seriously
Find Cherry at cherry.love, on Instagram at @wearecherry.love, and follow Anna on TikTok at @theperiodseggsgirl.
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58 min
May 27268. Just Between Us: Blowing Up Your Life, Imposter Syndrome & Yoyo Dieting
Emma and Cass open with a listener question that hits a little too close to home: "I just turned 30 and I hate my job, my apartment, and the city I live in. Do I blow it all up or am I just having a moment?" Emma says blow it the f up. Cass, who spent a year deeply unhappy in her marriage, her motherhood, and her life in general, says try 5% better first. \
From there: Cass on the motherhood imposter syndrome that hit her like a freight train (after 27 years of never feeling it), Emma on the version she's lived with her whole life, the menstrual blood research that's genuinely wild, and an unhinged agree/disagree game powered by Cass's husband's questions.
In this episode:
The listener question: turning 30, hating everything, and Emma vs Cass on whether to blow it up or stay put.

"Wherever you go, there you are." Cass on the year she was deeply unwell and what she did instead of running, plus the 5% rule for making your life better without burning it down.

"If you're a girly pop in your 30s who has let decisions make you instead of making them, maybe it's time to fucking blow it up." Emma's case for the hard pivot, geographic escapism included.

Motherhood imposter syndrome that lasted two years, the postpartum therapist who said stop waiting for the cute walks to happen to you, and the day at the park when Cass realized she was a real mom talking to real moms.

Emma on feeling like an imposter in every room she walks into, including the one she literally built.

Emma's run-in with a guy she used to sleep with, and a description of his anatomy you will not forget.

New menstrual blood research: Dr. Gemma Evans at the Hudson Institute found menstrual plasma heals wounds 40 times faster than regular blood plasma.

A review of decades of yo-yo dieting research turns out to be way less scary than we've been told, and Cass is mad about how women get shamed either way.

The SPF lip gloss that Emma keeps stealing from Cass's bathroom.

The toy Emma can't get enough of. Get yours HERE at Bellesa!

Agree/disagree with questions from Cass's husband: texting your ex, thirst-trap likes, body counts as a red flag, fighting a goose, landing a passenger plane, men should always pay.
For anyone in their late 20s or 30s who's ever wanted to quit everything by Tuesday, or felt like an imposter in a room they literally built.

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52 min
May 20267. "I Joined a Sex Cult": Star Stone on Onetaste, Toxic Empowerment & Cult Culture
NYC-based comedian, actor, and storyteller Star Stone (@starstonespeaks) joins us to talk about the years she spent inside Onetaste, a Bay Area "sexual wellness" group that built a multi-million dollar operation around a 15-minute clitoris stroking practice and is now better known for being investigated by the FBI. Star takes us through the sex education gap that primed her for it, the relationship that kept her there, the empowerment language that quietly turned coercive, and the long road back to her own desires.
In this episode:
Why Star (and basically every millennial woman) ended up Googling her own anatomy in her 20s, and how that vacuum is exactly what predatory communities count on

How "edge work" gets weaponized: when "lean into your edge" becomes a way to talk you past your own no, and what to listen for before you sign anything

The exact red flags Star wishes she'd clocked sooner (absolute promises, paywalls disguised as inner circles, "you're blocked, that's why you need the course," and the universal cult truth: there's always land)

What actually happened inside Onetaste: the practice, the paid intros, the group rooms, the moment the FBI investigation quietly ended in-person practices and nobody told the members

Toxic empowerment versus the real thing: how organizations dress up dependency as liberation, and how to spot the difference before they have your money and your nervous system

Getting out: the eviction, calling her dad, going viral and getting hated online days after leaving, and the five years of celibacy and self-isolation that followed

Rebuilding a sexual identity from scratch when you can't tell anymore which desires were yours and which were normalized inside the group
For anyone who's ever wondered how smart, curious women end up in places like this, and for anyone trying to tell the difference between a teacher and a trap. Star's show CL*T CULT runs June 3rd at 7 p.m. at The Pit NYC, tickets at starstonespeaks.com or @starstonespeaks on Instagram.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠
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58 min
May 13266. Welcome to 30, This Is Not What We Expected!!!!!
Cass turns 30 the day this episode drops, and this is the conversation we wish someone had handed us at 22. Not our Pinterest board versions of adulthood (there was too much turquoise and chevron on there anyway). The real one, where "adult money" gets spent on prenatal vitamins for thinning hair, a trampoline, and a personal finance book.
Emma found her old high school career class papers this week. Sixteen-year-old Emma wanted to open an equine therapy center, planned to go to college in the Pacific Northwest (where she'd meet her husband), wanted to fix "ignorance" in the world (misspelled), and confessed her most recent life lesson was that she didn't like pot pies but kept making them anyway. Emma's now 30, single, and living alone. Cass swore she'd be single, childfree, and a world-traveling journalist, and now she's married with a kid. We use that gap as the jumping-off point for the lives we pictured versus the lives we actually built.
In this episode:
Cass on what nobody tells you: trying to be skinny made her miserable. Trying to be strong made her feel hot.

"If you want to be someone who does, then do." How buying one shirt led to a triathlon, a solo trip to Europe, and fly fishing in Wyoming.

Why "have more opinions" is a real New Year's resolution.

The shift from being palatable for everyone to picking your people.

Why community asks you to be inconvenienced, and the unsexy truth that no, it doesn't just happen if it's meant for you.

Making and keeping friends as an adult when nobody's built-in anymore.

What the listener polls said about what changes most in your 30s (spoiler: 48% of you said the same thing).

Emma's 30th birthday recap: 90% on the couch, 5% in a hot tub, 100% a little high.

What we hope we're doing at 40, and what we hope we never do.
For anyone in their late 20s or 30s who suspects all the adults around them are also winging it.

Thank you to Bellesa for sponsoring this week's episode! EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibeTM OR a FREE Rose toy with any WhisperTM order https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/honeydewme-pod

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57 min
May 06265. The Lies We’re Sold About Motherhood & Maternal Instincts (And How They’re Hurting Us)
Motherhood is supposed to come naturally… right? That’s the story so many women are sold, and according to Dr. Sarah Oreck, it’s one of the biggest reasons us mommys are struggling in silence. In this episode, we're unpack the guilt, pressure, identity shifts, and impossible expectations placed on women during pregnancy, postpartum, and motherhood. From “maternal instincts” to breastfeeding shame to the myth of bouncing back, Dr. Sarah is dispelling the myths that hold us back and offering a fresh take on what motherhood actually means.

We Cover:
The myth of “maternal instinct” and why so many women feel blindsided by motherhood. How unrealistic expectations around motherhood can leave even high-functioning women feeling disconnected, anxious, or like they’re doing it wrong.

The pressure to be the “perfect mom” from the moment you get pregnant. From food choices to birth plans to feeding decisions, we unpack the constant guilt and policing women experience during pregnancy and postpartum.

Why “bouncing back” after having a baby is harming women’s mental health. Dr. Sarah explains how identity shifts, hormonal changes, and emotional overwhelm are often treated like personal failures instead of normal human experiences.

The truth about breastfeeding, formula feeding, and maternal shame. A nuanced conversation about bodily autonomy, sexual trauma, mental health, and why feeding your baby should never come at the expense of the mother’s wellbeing.

How motherhood can completely change your relationship with your body. From pregnancy to postpartum recovery, we talk about body image, autonomy, touch exhaustion, and feeling disconnected from yourself.

Why moms desperately need more support, community, and honest conversations. The emotional labor of motherhood is massively underestimated, especially in a culture that expects women to do everything without complaint.

Permission to make choices that actually work for YOU and your family. Whether it’s C-sections, formula feeding, medication, childcare, or mental health support, this episode is about rejecting shame and building a version of motherhood that feels sustainable and aligned with your values.
Connect with Dr. Sarah by following @sarahoreckmed and @mavidahealth on Instagram.

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠
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58 min
April 29264. Honey Archive: How To Own Your Slut Era with Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane aka “The Boyslut” joins us for one of our most freeing conversations yet. Zach is a sex expert, advice columnist, and author known for his honest, no-BS takes on sexuality, shame, and modern dating. We’re talking about what it actually means to embrace your sexuality without shame, how to define pleasure on your own terms, and why the word “slut” might not mean what you think it does.

We cover:
Redefining “slut” (and taking your power back). Why being a “slut” has nothing to do with numbers and everything to do with ownership, desire, and self-expression.

Why shame is the biggest block to good sex. How internalized shame shapes your sex life more than your actual experiences, and how to start unlearning it.

What it really means to explore your sexuality. Moving beyond performative sex into curiosity, experimentation, and figuring out what actually feels good for you.

The pressure to be “good” in bed (and why it backfires). How trying to meet expectations kills connection and pleasure, and what to focus on instead.

Communication that actually makes sex better. Why being honest about your wants, turn-ons, and boundaries is the key to more satisfying sex.

Letting go of labels and rigid sexual identities. How loosening your grip on labels can create more freedom, flexibility, and fun in your sex life.

Permission to want what you want. The core of this conversation: you’re allowed to desire, to explore, and to define your sex life on your own terms.

Connect with Zach:
Buy his book "Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto" HERE!

Visit his website HERE

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠
⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠

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53 min
April 22263. Q+A: "Is It Bad I Like Solo Sex Better Than Sex with My Partner?"
In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.

The Question: “Why do I enjoy sex more alone than with my boyfriend?”

What We Cover:
Why sex feels better alone than with your partner. Breaking down the very real (and very common) experience of enjoying solo sex more and why it doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong with you or your relationship.

What actually makes the difference: intentional, pressure-free pleasure vs rushed, performative sex. Why solo sex often includes more time, curiosity, and attention to your body while partnered sex can feel goal-oriented, fast, or just plain shitty.

You know your body, your partner might not. How years of self-exploration give you an advantage and why many partners haven’t developed the same level of sexual awareness or skill.

Why so much sex doesn’t actually center your pleasure. Unpacking how penetration-focused sex, lack of communication, and porn-influenced expectations can leave you feeling unsatisfied.

The impact of feeling unseen, unheard, or disappointed in bed. How repeated experiences of being rushed, overlooked, or not fully considered can train your body to prefer solo sex.

Solo sex is real sex. Reframing masturbation as a valid, fulfilling part of your sex life that doesn’t need to compete with or be replaced by partnered sex.

How to use what works alone to improve partnered sex. Practical ways to bring your self-knowledge into the bedroom with your partner.

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠
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33 min
April 15262. Dirty Talk Tips for Beginners: What to Say Without Feeling Embarrassed
Dirty talk can feel… intimidating. What do you say? When do you say it? What if it comes out weird, awkward, or just not you? In this solo episode, we’re breaking down how to talk dirty in a way that actually feels natural, fun, and authentic to YOU.
We cover:
Why dirty talk feels so hard for so many people. How shame, pressure, and the idea of needing to “perform” can make it feel intimidating instead of fun.

What dirty talk actually is (and what it’s not). Why it’s not about saying the “perfect” explicit line, and how it can be playful, romantic, confident, or even a little silly.

How to start dirty talk without feeling awkward. Simple, low-pressure ways to ease into it.

Real-life dirty talk examples you can actually use. Easy phrases like saying what you like, sharing fantasies, narrating sensations, and giving compliments that feel natural and doable.

How to make dirty talk feel authentic to YOU. Why you don’t need to be a different person or “sexier version” of yourself, and how to find what genuinely turns you on.

Confidence hacks to get out of your head during sex. Using humor, trying on a persona if it helps, and focusing on fun instead of performance.

What to do when dirty talk goes wrong (because it will). How to laugh it off, recover in the moment, communicate after, and keep the experience light instead of shutting down.

A simple dirty talk framework to fall back on. Using sensations, actions, and emotions as an easy formula when you don’t know what to say.

Why dirty talk is a learned skill (not something you’re born good at). How practice, repetition, and lowering the stakes can completely change your confidence over time.
Dirty Talk Cheat Sheet FREEBIE!
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49 min
April 08261. How to Get the Sex You Actually Want
In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Tara, tenured professor, award-winning researcher, and author of the new book "How Do You Like It: A Guide For Getting What You Want (In Bed)," to talk about what it actually takes to have a satisfying, connected sex life. From communication to confidence to understanding what it is you like, this conversation breaks down the practical skills behind better sex.
We Cover:
Why great sex is a learned skill, not something you’re just “good at.” Breaking down the myth that sex should come naturally and why education, practice, and communication matter.

How to figure out what you actually want in bed. Simple ways to explore your desires, preferences, and turn-ons without shame or pressure.

The biggest communication mistakes couples make about sex. Why avoiding conversations leads to disconnection and how to start talking about sex in a way that feels safe and productive.

How to ask for what you want without feeling awkward or rejected. Practical tools for expressing needs, giving feedback, and building confidence when communicating about sex.

Why desire can feel confusing or inconsistent in relationships. Understanding different desire styles and why your sex drive might not work the way you think it should.

How to create more satisfying and connected sex in long-term relationships. Small shifts that can make a big difference in intimacy, pleasure, and emotional connection.

What’s getting in the way of your sex life (and how to start shifting it). Common blockers like stress, shame, and unrealistic expectations, and how to work through them in real life.
Connect with Dr. Tara by buying her book "How Do You Like It" HERE, following her on Instagram HERE, or going to her website HERE!

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠
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57 min

About Honeydew Me

From the publisher's feed

Honeydew Me is a podcast dedicated to helping all humans have great sex, feel good in their bodies, and find the confidence to embrace their most authentic selves. Emma & Cass strive to have…