horizontal with lila

Welcome in to season two. Horizontal is the podcast about intimacy - sex, love, and relationships of all kinds - that's entirely recorded while lying down. We were on hiatus while I made a 15,000 mile solo road trip, circumnavigating the US on a tour I called "horizontal does america." I got to lie down with my guests in their homes in their cities. You'll hear those episodes, like one with Dr. Lindsey Doe, of YouTube's Sexplanations, and another with Marcia B, co-founder of Cuddle Party, later on in the season.

In this episode, I lie down with my dear friend Meghan Tonjes, YouTube sensation, singer-songwriter, accidental leader of the booty revolution, Instagram darling, podcaster, and body positive role model. I first met Meghan when she visited the Villa to interview us as the host of Sex-ish, a documentary TV series produced by Morgan Spurlock's company, that will hopefully grace your screen … one fine day.

Meghan is a warrior of deep intimacy and vulnerability, sharing so candidly about her internal emotional landscape as well as her external physical landscape, that she clears a path for the rest of us to do the same. For all things Tonjes, including her music, podcasts, and extremely articulate YouTube rants, find her on meghantonjes.com

This episode was recorded while horizontal in Meghan's bed at her home in Los Angeles, California, about seven months before I went on the road.

In the first part, we talk about sexting, how I met my partner, the feelings ambush, getting disowned, and her grandma, who was her person.

C'mon darling. Come lie down with us.

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Credit where credit is:

Horizontal's theme music was created by Alan Markley, plasticcannons on Instagram. The cover art is by Shana Shay, you can find her on 99designs.com. This episode was mixed and mastered by Chad Michael Snavely - check out his other podcasts, including one of my favorites, Bryony Cole's Future of Sex, on chadmichael.com

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The second half will be released next week, by popular demand. In it, we discuss Meghan's estranged father, the booty revolution, dating in L.A., body positivity, and how she deals with trolls.

You'll receive exclusive content and discounts on live shows when you sign up on horizontalwithlila.com!

We know it's been a while since our last episode, but you were ready to hop back under the covers and snuggle. Thank you so much for lying down with us.

This intro was recorded in Baltimore, MD because, throughout the month of October, horizontal does america. It's just me, a Honda Civic, and a backpackful of recording equipment circling the United States together … and you can be a part of happening it.

Patreon.com is a platform for crowdsourcing patronage. Whereas in the olden days, an artist survived on the support of one single patron, now, you can support the horizontal arts with a monthly contribution of any amount whatsoever, from $1 on up. Rewards include handwritten postcards, tickets to the horizontal storytelling live show, behind-the-scenes videos and sensual photos, and having an episode curated to your chosen theme, amongst other perks! Go to Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila. I'm just a few dollars away from filming a video of the elaborate happy dance I do every time I get word of a new patron! This month, I'll use your support for gasoline, the recording equipment I just bought, and horizontal storytelling, where the quickies are recorded.

You can get horizontal photos (I aim to take one in every city), video postcards, and missives from the road by signing up for the mailing list at horizontalwithlila.com - also check out the website if there are any vocabulary words we use that you don't know yet - because it has a glossary.

Horizontal's cross-country tour was sponsored in part by Lucid Studios, a New York-based production company. They're meticulous and passionate people, and they truly care about how your work affects the audience. Find them on lucidstudiosnyc.com (not ny, as I said last week - oops!)

In this episode, I lie down with my housemate Zed. He's a sound engineer who works mainly on musicals, and before he moved into the house, he worked on Broadway touring shows for seven years. Our relationship has been fraught in the past, especially during the early months of living together, which we share about in the second half of our episode. Our respect for each other has grown, though. Zed's motto is, "Always leave it better than you found it." He often lives up to that. And without Zed's generosity, this podcast would probably not exist, as, up until two weeks ago, I was borrowing my sound equipment from him. He is fiercely dedicated to his work and our home, Hacienda Villa, a sex-positive intentional community in Bushwick, Brooklyn. To record this with me was a great act of bravery on his part, and I hope you feel that.

In the first part of our episode, we talk about the sex table, the "poly" house, outsiderness, and being a sex-positive germophobe. Come on. Come lie down with us.

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Horizontal's sensuous cover art is by the illustrator Shana Shay - find her on 99 designs.com. My intro & outro music were created by Alan Markley, plasticcannons on Instagram. And every episode is mixed and mastered by Owen Muir, of Self-Disclosure Productions.

On the next episode of horizontal, you'll hear the rest of my conversation with Zed, in which he allows me to read one of the hardest letters I've ever written, a letter that I wrote him.

Follow horizontal around the country by signing up on horizontalwithlila.com

The intro for this episode was recorded in Burlington, Vermont, because, for the entire month of October, horizontal does america.

Lila is circling the country on a big podcasty solo road trip which began in New York and heads up to Maine, down to Baltimore, across the northern states, down through California, back across the South, up the East Coast … and you can be a part of happening it.

Patreon.com is a platform for crowdsourcing patronage. Whereas in the olden days, an artist survived on the support of one patron, our global web allows everyone who believes in an artist's work to have a hand in sustaining it. You can support horizontal endeavors with a monthly donation of any amount from $1 on up. There are rewards at every level, and the rewards just get more sumptuous. I cherish every Patreon supporter - each dollar means that you champion my mission of cultivating intimacy around the world. This month, I'll use your support for gasoline to get across the country, recording equipment, and horizontal storytelling events, where we record our quickies.

If you can't support horizontal financially just yet, you can still get sensual horizontal photos, video postcards, and missives from the road by signing up for the mailing list at horizontalwithlila.com

And if you know a particularly compelling human with fascinating, raw, vulnerable stories about sex, love, and relationships of all kinds, send me a message through Facebook or the website. I definitely want to know who you think I should lie down with next.

horizontal's podcasting tour is sponsored in part by Lucid Studios, a New York-based production company that crafts video content, books talent, and produces live events. They are meticulous and passionate people who care deeply about the way your work affects an audience. For your production needs, contact them through the website.

In this quickie episode, recorded live at my podcast launch pajama party, I lie down with Alana Heiss. Alana is a Google product marketing manager … and a sex writer. She is probably the famous-est real-live unicorn - a term used for the (not as mythical and rare as one might think) person who has sex with couples. She wrote an excellent, titillating article about it for GQ entitled "Confessions of a Real-Life Unicorn." She tells this quickie story at my request, because I wanted more about Unicorn Life. Alana calls herself a "fake gonzo journalist" at the beginning of her story, but I completely disagree. I think she's a real gonzo journalist. You can find her work on alanaheiss.com.

So you know what you have to do, right? Come lie down with us.

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Horizontal's saucy cover art is by the illustrator Shana Shay - find her on 99 designs.com. My intro & outro, complete with sex vox (did you know that heavy breathing, when it's used as an effect in music, is called sex vox? I didn't.), those were created by Alan Markley, plasticcannons on Instagram. And every episode is mixed and mastered by Owen Muir, who you heard at the beginning of this quickie, of Self-Disclosure Productions. You can find Owen on Twitter at @psychdisclosure

In this episode of horizontal, I lie down with Jackie, aka Anya or, Anyalita. Jackie is a Shibari aficionado - a rope artist. You can follow her adventures in surrender on theropediary.tumblr.com and on Instagram as Anyalita. On The Rope Diary, she introduces herself as "a rope and bondage enthusiast, a sadomasochist, a sensualist, and a switch." Jackie is also a sex tools educator who works at Babeland, a queer-owned, lady-friendly sex toy shop. I have great love in my heart for Babeland, as it was the first sex shop I ever felt comfortable in.

When we recorded, Jackie had a cold, so she sounds rather snuffly. But I don't think you'll mind.

In the first half of this episode, we talk about happy parents, unhappy parents, depression, self-soothing, and a first kiss with a kitchen boy. Come lie down with us.

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Hey! Exciting news! In October, horizontal does America. Lila will be driving cross-country, recording episodes, and getting horizontal in unexpected places across the United States.

If you know someone who lives in the contiguous U.S., has excellent juju, and would make a fascinating guest for horizontal, contact us through the website.

For exclusive subscriber content, like virtual postcards from the road, sign up on horizontalwithlila.com! And if you'd like to be a part of this cross-country horizontal venture, become Lila's patron on Patreon! patreon.com/horizontalwithlila Wheeee!

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Credit where credit is:

Horizontal's badass theme music was created by Alan Markley, on Instagram as @plasticcannons.

It's saucy cover art was designed and illustrated by Shana Shay. Hire Shana for character illustration and graphic design through 99designs.

Horizontal was mixed and mastered by Owen Muir of Self-Disclosure productions, right here in Brooklyn, New York. Stay tuned for Owen's own podcast, Self-Disclosure, a show where people talk openly for the first time about their own experiences with mental health. You can find Owen on Twitter at @psychdisclosure

To sign up for the horizontal show notes, exclusive subscriber content, sexy vocabulary words (really!) and sensual horizontal photos, head to horizontalwithlila.com

In this episode, I lie down with Grant Stoddard, my first repeat guest! (It's the accent.)

Grant is an experiential journalist who specializes in reporting from outside of his comfort zone (sometimes way, waaay outside). The wild situations he has experienced bodily have appeared in Thrillist, Vice, T, New York Magazine, Penthouse, and Maxim, among many others.

He's the author of one of my favorite memoirs of all-time, Working Stiff: The Misadventures of an Accidental Sexpert. When I was reading it on the bus, I laughed so hard that I completely missed my stop and had to double back about ten blocks. It follows Grant's journey from lovelorn small town virgin to sex writer at Nerve.com.

This quickie elaborates on a story from the book and involves a trivia contest, a sex column, and sex on the subway.

This quickie episode was recorded live at my podcast launch pajama party on May 21st, 2017, at Hacienda Studio, a sex-positive event space in Bushwick, Brooklyn. My guests enjoyed reiki, massage, empathy sessions, and cookies upon arrival. After a brief cuddling tutorial from one of my housemates, a professional Cuddler, fifty people in kimonos, flannels, onesies, and short-shorts got horizontal and snuggly on an enormous Megabed the size of three kings put together, while, on a bed-island across the room, my guest and I arranged ourselves as we would for any horizontal recording session - lying on our backs, almost ear-to-ear, sharing a pillow, microphones hanging down above us, with a starry blanket as our backdrop…

You can hire Grant to sling some words for you. Peruse his zillion-article portfolio here.

More horizontality, please:

To become a patron of the horizontal arts, support me on Patreon, a website for crowdsourcing patronage! Patronage allows artists like me to buy equipment, schedule recording tours, and devote my time to creating more horizontal goodness, for you! Becoming my patron has delicious perks, ranging from exclusive photos and behind-the-scenes video content, to handwritten postcards, spring cleaning phone calls, and creative input on future episodes! You can become a patron for $1 a month on up, and the rewards just get more sumptuous. patreon.com/horizontalwithlila

For all things horizontal with lila, including show notes, horizontal-inpired writing, and saucy saucy photos, subscribe at http://horizontalwithlila.com

Without whom, it would not be possible:

Badass theme music by Alan Markley, on Instagram as @plasticcannons

Saucy cover art by Shana Shay (hire her!) on 99designs

Mixing and mastering magic and sorcery by Owen Muir of Self Disclosure productions, on Twitter as @psychdisclosure

In this episode, I lie down with my housemate Tiger.

Tiger goes by many names, but we'll only use two of them here. Tiger is a Professional Cuddler, or, Cuddlist. Her cuddling name is Ellen. You can find her on Cuddlist.com.

She's also a reiki practitioner, a trained yoga instructor, a comedian (check out "The Comedy Witch"), and a cats fanatic. That's the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical theatre version of cats, to be clear. In lieu of performing in the actual musical, Tiger cosplays regularly as feline, and soon plans to host Cat Cuddling events at Hacienda Studio, in which the cats are actually humans in full cat costume because "you could cuddle real cats, but they're unreliable."

She writes and performs funny songs, and last year I saw her in an hour-long one-ish-woman show entitled "Kiss Me, I'm Jew-witch." She sang about celebrity sex dreams and her period. Her parents were there. It was pretty amazing. Tiger is the closest thing I have at this point to a sister. We have deep talks in the kitchen, during which we usually quote the title of her yet-to-be written inspirational memoir, "Breakthrough Junkie." She scrapes me up off the floor when I need it and texts me that there are Puffins in her cabinet for a late-night snack, when I don't. I love her. I hope you will.

Come lie down with us.

More horizontality, please:

To become a patron of the horizontal arts, support me on Patreon, a website for crowdsourcing patronage! Patronage allows artists like me to buy equipment, schedule recording tours, and devote my time to creating more horizontal goodness, for you! Becoming my patron has delicious perks, ranging from exclusive photos and behind-the-scenes video content, to handwritten postcards, spring cleaning phone calls, and creative input on future episodes! You can become a patron for $1 a month on up, and the rewards just get more sumptuous. patreon.com/horizontalwithlila

Credit where credit is:

Horizontal's badass theme music was created by Alan Markley, on Instagram as @plasticcannons.

It's saucy cover art was designed and illustrated by Shana Shay. Hire Shana for character illustration and graphic design through 99designs.

Horizontal was mixed and mastered by Owen Muir of Self-Disclosure productions, right here in Brooklyn, New York. Stay tuned for Owen's own podcast, Self-Disclosure, a show where people talk openly for the first time about their own experiences with mental health. You can find Owen on Twitter at @psychdisclosure

To sign up for the horizontal show notes, exclusive subscriber content, sexy vocabulary words (really!) and sensual horizontal photos, head to horizontalwithlila.com

In this quickie episode, recorded live at my podcast launch pajama party on May 21st, 2017, I lie down with my friend Becca and tell her a story.

That series of recordings from the party comprise the first installment of my ongoing series Horizontal Storytelling. We recorded at Hacienda Studio, our sex-positive event space in Bushwick, Brooklyn.

My guests enjoyed reiki, massage, empathy sessions, and cookies upon arrival. After a brief cuddling tutorial from one of my housemates, a professional Cuddlist, fifty people in kimonos, flannels, onesies, and short-shorts got horizontal and snuggly on an enormous Megabed the size of three kings put together.

On a bed-island across the room, my guest and I arranged ourselves as we would for any horizontal recording session - lying on our backs, almost ear-to-ear, sharing a pillow, microphones hanging down above us, with a starry blanket as our backdrop…

In this quickie, I speak about a best friend, a road trip, several fiances, a suicide, and a breakup. I titled my story, Another Word for Breakup." Becca has been my friend for 10 years, and knew much of the story already. I was glad to have her by my side.

Come lie down with us.

More horizontality, please:

To become a patron of the horizontal arts, support me on Patreon, a website for crowdsourcing patronage! Patronage allows artists like me to buy equipment, schedule recording tours, and devote my time to creating more horizontal goodness, for you! Becoming my patron has delicious perks, ranging from exclusive photos and behind-the-scenes video content, to handwritten postcards, spring cleaning phone calls, and creative input on future episodes! You can become a patron for $1 a month on up, and the rewards just get more sumptuous. patreon.com/horizontalwithlila

Credit where credit is:

Horizontal's badass theme music was created by Alan Markley, on Instagram as @plasticcannons.

It's saucy cover art was designed and illustrated by Shana Shay. Hire Shana for character illustration and graphic design through 99designs.

Horizontal was mixed and mastered by Owen Muir of Self-Disclosure productions, right here in Brooklyn, New York. Stay tuned in August 2017 for Owen's own podcast, Self-Disclosure, a show where people talk openly for the first time about their own experiences with mental health. You can find Owen on Twitter at @psychdisclosure

To sign up for the horizontal show notes, exclusive subscriber content, and sensual horizontal photos, head to horizontalwithlila.com

In this episode, I lie down with Dr. HazelGrace Yates. In a twin bed. At a summer camp. In the wilds of New Jersey.

HazelGrace is a clinical sexologist, a scholar, and the founder of The Cock Project and The Pussy Project. She holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, and a Masters in Education.

The Cock Project offers those who identify with having a cock the opportunity to speak about their experiences living with it, and their feelings about it, directly to a group of others who self-identify the same way, while being silently and compassionately witnessed by a group that does not identify with having a cock, or would prefer to act as a compassionate witness. The Pussy Project is the inverse. Right after we recorded this episode, I had the opportunity to experience both workshops.

HazelGrace and I were both taking part in Connection Camp, a summer camp for adults that's centered around activities designed to encourage authentic relating. It is produced by The Connection Movement, which is based in New York and led by Amy Silverman. More info on that in the show notes.

I felt extremely moved by my experience at The Cock Project workshop. Even though I live in a community in which we generally feel comfortable to speak openly about bodies and sex, I had never before heard even one cock owner speak in detail and at length about their experience with their cock. Certainly not more than an anecdote or two from a lover, definitely not to or in front of other cock owners, and decidedly not while witnessed by those who identify with having a pussy. I felt such admiration for their willingness to share. And I felt a kinship with their expressions of embarrassment, confusion, wonder, disappointment, and joy. I also felt a greater surge in my compassion for the challenges of growing up with an assigned male gender, as many of the feelings they expressed were inextricably intertwined with societal expectations of cock owners.

I'll be inviting HazelGrace to Hacienda Studio to give workshops! You can contact HazelGrace if you'd like The Cock Project and The Pussy Project to come to your town by visiting hazelgraceyates.com.

In the first part of our conversation, we talk about hugging our parents, the touch palette, how intention changes the timbre of the way we touch, the human car wash, and nonsexual naked coconut oil contact improv movement, aka, the Coco Jam …

Come lie down with us.

To become a patron of the horizontal arts, support me on Patreon, a website for crowdsourcing patronage! Patronage allows artists like me to buy equipment, schedule recording tours, and devote my time to creating more horizontal goodness, for you! Becoming my patron has delicious perks, ranging from exclusive photos and behind-the-scenes video content, to handwritten postcards, spring cleaning phone calls, and creative input on future episodes! You can become a patron for $1 a month on up, and the rewards just get more sumptuous. patreon.com/horizontalwithlila

Horizontal's theme music was created by Alan Markley. You can find his gorgeous blue eyes and rock star visage on Instagram as plasticcannons.

My saucy cover art was designed and illustrated by Shana Shay - check our her gorgeous character illustrations on shanashay.com

Every episode is mixed and mastered by Owen Muir, of Self-Disclosure productions. Find him on Twitter at @psychdisclosure - Owen's podcast, Self-Disclosure, in which people speak openly, and often for the very first time, about their own experiences with mental health, is coming soon.

For most things horizontal, head to horizontalwithlila.com and sign up for the mailing list. Detailed show notes with vocabulary words! And articles! And sensual photos! will be delivered right to your inbox.

In this episode, I lie down with my housemate Rene.

Rene is the most genuinely enthusiastic person I have ever known. When I first met him, I didn't trust him. I thought, "Is this guy for real? Is he really this happy?" He is! It's incredible. In response to his tendency to fold other people's laundry, I coined the in-house hashtag PRIMOVILLAN, and started regularly asking myself, What would Rene do? The question was like a lovingkindness tune-up.

Rene is quite a hunky fellow, and often genderfluid in the way he dresses, rocking skirts and shiny little short-shorts in the same way he rocks a bow tie and a sport coat. He's the housemate who looks better in your clothes than you do! Rene and his 8-pack can be seen pole-dancing at the House of Yes, often on Pole Play Wednesdays — he actually defies gravity while Horizontal!

You can follow his pole journey on Instagram @The_Renesance, which is a nickname that I made up for him. I'm pretty proud of that.

In the *first half of our episode, we talk about our parent's relationships, divorces, oral sex in the shower, compartmentalizing emotions, and Rene's nearly unbelievable cheerfulness.

You're invited … won't you come lie down with us?

* The second half of this episode has been released separately, by popular demand.

If you'd like to become a patron of the horizontal arts, support me on Patreon, a website for crowdsourcing patronage. Patronage allows artists like me to buy equipment, schedule tours of world domination, and devote my time to creating more horizontal goodness, for you! Becoming my patron has delicious perks, ranging from exclusive photos and behind-the-scenes video content, to handwritten postcards, spring cleaning phone calls, and creative input on future episodes. You can become a patron for $1 a month on up, and the rewards just get more sumptuous. patreon.com/horizontalwithlila

Horizontal's theme music was created by Alan Markley. You can find his gorgeous blue eyes and rock star visage on Instagram as plasticcannons.

My saucy cover art was designed and illustrated by Shana Shay - check our her gorgeous character illustrations on shanashay.com

Every episode is mixed and mastered by Owen Muir, of Self-Disclosure productions. Owen's podcast, Self-Disclosure, in which people speak openly, and often for the very first time, about their own experiences with mental health, is coming soon in August 2017. Listen, if you are a person. With Feelings. Owen can be found on Twitter as @psychdisclosure

For most things horizontal, head to horizontalwithlila.com and sign up for the mailing list. Detailed show notes with vocabulary words! And articles! And sensual photos! will be delivered right to your inbox.

In this episode, I lie down with my housemate Elaine. Elaine is a consummate world traveler - it's quite the feat to catch her at home but on one of her brief stays at the Villa I got lucky. In between jaunts to her home country of Taiwan and remote islands, outdoor sailing adventures and the climbing of mountains, running races in Europe and engaging in other extreme sports and endurance activities, as she puts it, "like sex," we had the chance to don some robes and get horizontal.

Elaine lives in the room across the way from me, a space so tiny that it has only a skylight, and no window. She calls it a closet - but she means it as a good thing. She likes how cozy it is.

Elaine holds a PhD in Biomedical Engineering and has done 10 years of stem cell research and patent prosecution for Biotech Startups. She cooks Taiwanese food that would make you wish she were your wife, and she has a deep and abiding love for turtles - so much so, that she doesn't travel the world alone, even when she's by herself - she always brings her stuffed turtle along. The turtle's name is Dr. Turtle.

I experience Elaine as unfailingly kind, possessing an incredible amount of grit, and her candid explicitness, combined with a voice that sounds like it belongs in an anime cartoon, delights me to no end.

In the first part of our episode, recorded in my loft bed, we talk about how she came to live at the Villa, sex camp, the differences between swingers and poly people, and Elaine's very first fetish party.

Hey, c'mere. Come lie down with us!

More horizontality, please:

To become a patron of the horizontal arts, support me on Patreon, a website for crowdsourcing patronage! Patronage allows artists like me to buy equipment, schedule recording tours, and devote my time to creating more horizontal goodness, for you! Becoming my patron has delicious perks, ranging from exclusive photos and behind-the-scenes video content, to handwritten postcards, spring cleaning phone calls, and creative input on future episodes! You can become a patron for $1 a month on up, and the rewards just get more sumptuous. patreon.com/horizontalwithlila

Credit where credit is:

Horizontal's badass theme music was created by Alan Markley, on Instagram as plasticcannons.

It's saucy cover art was designed and illustrated by Shana Shay. Hire Shana for character illustration and graphic design through 99designs.

Horizontal was mixed and mastered by Owen Muir of Self-Disclosure productions, right here in Brooklyn, New York. Stay tuned in August 2017 for Owen's own podcast, Self-Disclosure, a show where people talk openly for the first time about their experiences with mental health. You can find Owen on Twitter at @psychdisclosure

To sign up for the horizontal show notes, exclusive subscriber content, and sensual horizontal photos, head to horizontalwithlila.com