What if the presence you practice in mindfulness is the same wiring that makes secure attachment possible? That question drives our conversation with clinician, author, and teacher Christine Forner, who introduces Securefulness—a relational state where an attuned nervous system helps another human co‑regulate. Christine explains why care isn’t sentimental; it’s a biologically essential force that organizes safety, regulation, and health. When true care arrives, dissociated pain often surfaces, which can feel like getting worse. She reframes this as healing beginning and uses a powerful “care isn’t the bucket” story, plus a re-feeding analogy, to show how to pace nourishment without overwhelming the system.

We get practical about what Securefulness looks like in the room: noticing micro‑signals like a shoulder hitch or a shift in breath, naming danger qualities, and adding immediate protections—hoodies, pillows, sunglasses, softened gaze—to reduce social threat and restore choice. Christine shares how therapeutic nurturing has helped clients reduce suicidal ideation within weeks by leveraging presence, titration, and interoception. She also digs into primal isolation threat, how shame language takes root in early deprivation, and we talk about why the inner critic is better replaced by an “inner celebrant” that collaborates with the body’s needs.

Zooming out, we challenge the idea that violence is human nature. Christine defines misogyny as disdain for Homo sapien nurturing and argues that many systems are fight‑state adaptations, not destiny. We explore evolutionary roots of co‑regulation, theory of mind as soothing, and why humans likely evolved in stable, alloparenting communities where care was central. There are signs of change: expanding parental leave, trauma‑informed practice, and evidence that stable resources like universal basic income lower addiction and crime while improving health and learning. If we organize society around care—as infrastructure, not charity—healing gets hard but possible, and repeatable.

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