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How to Connect Deeper in Minutes | Charles Duhigg
Why do some people make every conversation better? Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and author Charles Duhigg (Supercommunicators, The Power of Habit) returns to reveal the science behind connection that anyone can learn. In this conversation with AJ and Johnny, Charles explains why “super communicators” aren’t extroverts or natural charmers—they’re people who consistently use a handful of skills that make others feel smart, heard, and valued.
From NASA astronaut interviews to speed dating experiments, Charles shares practical techniques like “looping for understanding,” perspective-getting, and callbacks that transform awkward or tense moments into genuine connection. Whether you’re navigating conflict with your boss, strengthening friendships, or reconnecting with someone after years apart, these tools will help you communicate with intention, build trust, and leave every conversation stronger than when it started.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] What makes a “super communicator” and why it’s not charisma
[00:01:22] The Dartmouth study on “high centrality” people who make teams gel
[00:03:08] Why the best leaders ask instead of tell
[00:04:19] Communication as a skill—not a personality trait
[00:07:38] Laughter as a social signal, not just humor
[00:09:34] Why friendships at work predict happiness and retention
[00:15:14] How to start tough conversations with clarity and intention
[00:23:05] Proving you listened: the power of looping for understanding
[00:26:01] Why understanding each other matters more than agreeing
[00:33:27] Three steps for navigating difficult conversations (deep question, declare intention, acknowledge discomfort)
[00:42:24] How callbacks drive connection—from speed dating to parenting
[00:45:55] Charles’ daily practice for staying connected and curious
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Episode resources:
Charles Duhigg
Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
View all episodes
By The Art of Charm
4.7
1046510,465 ratings
Why do some people make every conversation better? Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and author Charles Duhigg (Supercommunicators, The Power of Habit) returns to reveal the science behind connection that anyone can learn. In this conversation with AJ and Johnny, Charles explains why “super communicators” aren’t extroverts or natural charmers—they’re people who consistently use a handful of skills that make others feel smart, heard, and valued.
From NASA astronaut interviews to speed dating experiments, Charles shares practical techniques like “looping for understanding,” perspective-getting, and callbacks that transform awkward or tense moments into genuine connection. Whether you’re navigating conflict with your boss, strengthening friendships, or reconnecting with someone after years apart, these tools will help you communicate with intention, build trust, and leave every conversation stronger than when it started.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] What makes a “super communicator” and why it’s not charisma
[00:01:22] The Dartmouth study on “high centrality” people who make teams gel
[00:03:08] Why the best leaders ask instead of tell
[00:04:19] Communication as a skill—not a personality trait
[00:07:38] Laughter as a social signal, not just humor
[00:09:34] Why friendships at work predict happiness and retention
[00:15:14] How to start tough conversations with clarity and intention
[00:23:05] Proving you listened: the power of looping for understanding
[00:26:01] Why understanding each other matters more than agreeing
[00:33:27] Three steps for navigating difficult conversations (deep question, declare intention, acknowledge discomfort)
[00:42:24] How callbacks drive connection—from speed dating to parenting
[00:45:55] Charles’ daily practice for staying connected and curious
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Episode resources:
Charles Duhigg
Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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