If you’ve been trying to “fix” yourself for years… this episode might change everything.

So much of the emotional wellness space is focused on one thing:

Getting rid of what’s wrong.

The anxiety.

The stress.

The overthinking.

The guilt.

The burnout.

The trauma.

And while support matters, here’s what’s missing:

You cannot build a thriving life by only trying to eliminate what hurts.

In this episode, I’m teaching a core concept I walk my private clients through — the emotional teeter-totter — and why balance, not eradication, is the real goal.

Because life is 50/50.

Your brain is wired to scan for danger.

And trying to remove every uncomfortable emotion will keep you stuck in survival mode.

Instead, we need to learn how to build the other side.

Joy.

Pleasure.

Excitement.

Belonging.

Desire.

Purpose.

When you intentionally build those, everything changes.

1. Why “fixing yourself” can actually make you feel worse
2. How self-help sometimes overemphasizes what’s broken
3. The 50/50 nature of emotional life (and why it’s normal)
4. How your primitive brain keeps you in survival mode
5. The emotional teeter-totter analogy that explains everything
6. Why eliminating stress isn’t the goal
7. How to build emotional capacity instead of avoidance
8. The difference between tolerating emotions and processing them
9. Why creating joy is a skill (not a luxury)
10. How doing hard, scary things on purpose builds empowerment
11. Why pleasure, excitement, and fulfillment are your responsibility

Your life won’t feel better because you finally eliminate anxiety.

It will feel better because you’ve learned how to:

1. Feel anxiety without collapsing
2. Create joy on purpose
3. Build balance instead of chasing perfection
4. Empower yourself emotionally

You don’t need to become stress-free.

You need to become emotionally stronger and more intentional about building what you want.

If this resonates and you want help applying this to your real life:

📍 Book a consultation: amandahess.ca/bookacall

You don’t have to keep running on the “fixing” treadmill.

Share it with someone who’s tired of trying to repair themselves.

And if this podcast supports you, leaving a review helps more women find this work.

Hey my beautiful friend… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but welcome to Episode 300.

When I started this podcast, I had no idea if anyone would listen… or if I’d even keep going. But here we are — and today I want to revisit the most important message I’ve ever shared:

Loving yourself no matter what is the key to everything.

Because self-love isn’t about bubble baths or positive affirmations.

It’s about learning how to be safe with yourself.

It’s about learning how to support yourself when you’re struggling… how to regulate your nervous system… how to stop spiraling into shame… and how to stop living your life trying to earn love from everyone else.

In this episode, I’m walking you through where the message of Love Yourself No Matter What came from, why it matters so deeply, how it actually works, and how to begin implementing it in your real life — even if you feel like you’ve tried everything.

This is the foundation of emotional healing, confidence, boundaries, and true inner peace.

And if you’ve been feeling stuck, anxious, lonely, reactive, exhausted, or like something is “wrong” with you…

This episode is for you.

1. Why self-love is still deeply misunderstood
2. The difference between being loving vs. being permissive
3. Why so many people feel anxious, lonely, and emotionally exhausted
4. How perfectionism and pressure keep you stuck
5. My personal rock bottom — and what I was told about myself
6. How nervous system sensitivity can be mistaken for “something wrong with you”
7. Why learning to love yourself creates emotional safety
8. The “abused puppy” metaphor that explains healing perfectly
9. How self-love helps you stop procrastinating, people pleasing, and spiraling
10. Why your life becomes unrecognizable when you stop abandoning yourself
11. How to start practicing loving yourself daily (even when you don’t feel lovable)

If you want support implementing this work in your life, I’d love to talk with you.

📍 Book a call here: amandahess.ca/bookacall

If this podcast has supported you, I would be so grateful if you left a review — it helps more women find this work and start healing too.

Show notes coming soon

I’m recording this one off the cuff, because it matters.

I cry a lot. I cry every day. Sometimes I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes I cry because I’m angry, happy, proud — or because I just need to cry. I’ve always been this way, and if you’re listening to this, you probably are too.

In this episode, I talk about why crying isn’t something to fix — and why nothing has gone wrong when tears show up. We’ve been taught to feel shame or guilt when we cry, especially in front of other people, but that doesn’t mean crying is wrong. More often than not, it just means other people don’t have the tools to be with it.

This is a conversation about sensitivity, emotion, and why big girls do cry — not because we’re weak, but because we feel deeply, we care, and we’re human.

1. Why I cry every day — and why that’s not a problem
2. The shame and guilt many women feel when they cry in front of others
3. Why people try to fix crying instead of allowing it
4. How we’re taught that crying is inappropriate or “too much”
5. Why crying isn’t manipulative
6. Crying as release, connection, and a non-aggressive expression of emotion
7. A thought to try on: Big girls do cry — and I’m okay with myself when I do

What happens when I let myself cry without making it mean something has gone wrong?

You don’t need to answer it — just notice the urge to stop it, explain it, apologize for it, or judge yourself for it.

That noticing is the work.

If this episode brought up relief, resistance, or confusion, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to carry it by yourself.

✨ Come say hi on Instagram: @theamandahess

I’d love to hear what this stirred for you — the real, unpolished version.

If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.

I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.

Book a discovery call here:

👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

I’ll see you next week. 💛

Sensitive women feel deeply — and for many, emotional pain can feel overwhelming, unsafe, or impossible to sit with. There’s often a fear that if you really let yourself feel it, you’ll fall apart and won’t be able to recover.

In this episode, I unpack why emotional pain feels so intense for sensitive and neurodivergent women — and why this has nothing to do with being fragile or broken. We explore how emotional overwhelm is actually a capacity issue, not a personal flaw, and how many of the ways we’ve learned to cope with emotion are protective — but ultimately keep us stuck.

This is an honest conversation about emotional overwhelm, overthinking, self-judgment, and how learning to stay with yourself during emotional pain can fundamentally change your relationship with your emotions — and with yourself.

1. Why sensitive women often fear fully feeling their emotions
2. The difference between emotional pain and emotional overwhelm
3. Why emotional overwhelm is a capacity issue, not fragility
4. How we’re taught to fix, explain, or numb emotions instead of feeling them
5. Why intellectualizing emotions leads to overthinking and burnout
6. Common patterns sensitive women use to cope with emotional pain
7. How urgency, meaning-making, and self-judgment intensify emotional pain
8. The difference between managing emotional pain and relating to it
9. Why emotions don’t need to be solved in order to move
10. How to separate sensation in the body from the story in the mind
11. What it actually looks like to “stay with” an emotion
12. Why emotional processing should feel quiet, boring, and non-dramatic
13. How emotional capacity grows through presence, not force
14. A personal water-skiing story that illustrates how emotional capacity is built

Emotional pain isn’t the problem — being alone inside it is. When you learn how to stay with yourself instead of trying to fix, outrun, or explain your emotions, your capacity grows. Sensitivity stops being something you manage and becomes a strength you can trust.

1. Emotional capacity vs. emotional fragility
2. Clean emotional experience vs. emotional overwhelm
3. Separating sensation from story
4. Internal companionship and self-trust
5. Presence as the path to emotional confidence

If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.

I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.

Book a discovery call here:

👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

I’ll see you next week. 💛

Jealousy is one of the most misunderstood emotions — and one of the most shamed. Most of us were never taught how to feel jealousy without turning it against ourselves or others.

In this episode, I unpack what jealousy actually is, why it hurts so much, and how it can either become a source of unnecessary suffering or a powerful source of self-awareness. We explore the difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy, how judgment gets layered on top of pain, and why jealousy isn’t a character flaw — it’s information.

This is an honest conversation about desire, disappointment, self-worth, and how learning to let jealousy stay clean can change the way you relate to yourself and others.

1. What jealousy actually is (and what it isn’t)
2. Why jealousy often feels so intense and painful
3. The difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy
4. How we turn jealousy into extra suffering through judgment
5. The two most common ways jealousy gets “dirty”
6. A personal story about trying out for Stampede Queen and what jealousy revealed in hindsight
7. How jealousy can lead to growth — or cause us to shrink
8. Why avoiding the clean pain of jealousy often keeps us stuck
9. How jealousy points directly to desire, longing, and possibility

Jealousy doesn’t mean something has gone wrong. It means you want something. When you stop judging yourself or others for that desire, jealousy becomes a clean signal — not a punishment.

1. Clean pain vs. dirty pain
2. Desire as information, not a problem
3. Emotional honesty without self-abandonment
4. Using emotion as guidance instead of self-judgment

If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.

I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.

Book a discovery call here:

👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

I’ll see you next week. 💛

Belonging is one of our most basic human needs — but what if the biggest thing standing in the way of feeling like you belong isn’t other people… it’s you?

In this episode, I break down why rejection feels so painful, how micro-rejections accumulate over time, and why so many of us unconsciously reject ourselves before anyone else ever gets the chance to. We explore how rejection is an emotion (not a circumstance), how your brain tries to keep you “safe” by shrinking your life, and what it actually takes to rebuild your capacity for connection.

This is a powerful, compassionate conversation about emotional safety, self-belonging, and learning how to stop turning away from yourself — even when your nervous system wants to hide.

1. Why belonging is a feeling, not something other people give you
2. The difference between direct rejection and micro-rejections
3. How rejection sensitivity builds quietly over time
4. Why avoiding rejection leads to a smaller, lonelier life
5. What it means to reject yourself in advance (and how it shows up)
6. How your brain uses pre-rejection as a protection strategy
7. A simple, practical way to interrupt self-rejection in real time
8. Why you don’t need to “heal everything” to move forward
9. How to build internal belonging: I am lovable. I belong.

If you want to feel more connected, you have to stop abandoning yourself first. Belonging begins internally — and it’s a skill you can practice, moment by moment.

1. The Love Yourself No Matter What coaching method
2. Real-life application vs. theory-based mindset work
3. Nervous system safety, emotional processing, and self-trust

If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.

I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.

Book a discovery call here:

👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

I’ll see you next week. 💛

If you’re listening to this in January (or any other time of the year) and feeling heavy, flat, emotional, or quietly overwhelmed — this episode is for you.

January 1st is supposed to feel hopeful. Fresh. Motivating.

But for so many women, it actually brings pressure, comparison, and a deep sense of “I should be feeling better than I am.”

In this episode, I’m unpacking why January 1st can feel so dysregulating — and why New Year’s resolutions often make things worse, not better.

This isn’t about mindset failure or lack of discipline.

It’s about conditioning, shame-based change, and a nervous system that’s been trained to scan for what’s missing.

We’ll talk about:

1. Why New Year’s resolutions are often fueled by shame
2. How performative change keeps you stuck in all-or-nothing cycles
3. Why willpower always fails (and what actually works instead)
4. The real reason behaviors like overeating, drinking, people-pleasing, or overworking don’t change through control
5. A gentler, more effective way to approach the new year without pressure
6. How self-concept and emotional safety create sustainable change
7. Powerful reframes you can return to all year long

Instead of asking “Who do I need to become this year?”

I invite you to explore questions like:

1. What would make me feel a little safer this year?
2. What do I want more of emotionally, energetically, and relationally?
3. What helps me come back to myself?

You don’t need a big vision.

You don’t need a perfect plan.

And you don’t need to fix yourself.

You just need to be willing to stay with yourself while this year unfolds.

1. Episode 293: You Are Not Who You Think You Are — How to Change Your Self-Concept
2. Join the membership for a free week at 👉 joinamanda.ca
3. (Includes coaching calls + an upcoming full class on self-concept)
4. Book a private coaching discovery call at 👉 amandahess.ca/bookacall

You don’t have to know where 2026 is going yet.

You don’t have to feel motivated.

And you don’t need a resolution to be worthy of change.

What if this year was about trusting yourself instead of forcing yourself?

What if your only intention was to love yourself — and be more you?

I’m so glad you’re here.

And I can’t wait to keep talking with you in 2026.

As the year comes to a close, many of us are taking stock — not just of what we did, but of who we believe we are.

In this episode, we’re talking about self-concept: the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself, how they were formed, and how they quietly shape your emotions, relationships, and choices — often without you realizing it.

So many of the things we believe about ourselves feel like facts… but they’re not. They’re thoughts — many of them inherited from childhood, authority figures, culture, or past experiences — and they can be changed.

Inside this episode, I share:

1. What self-concept actually is (and what it’s not)
2. How early experiences shape the way we see ourselves
3. Why “positive thinking” often backfires
4. A powerful question that opens a new path forward: Who would I be without this thought?
5. How to shift self-judgment without forcing yourself to believe something that doesn’t feel true
6. Why changing your self-concept isn’t about becoming someone else — it’s about freeing yourself

If you’ve ever felt like you aren't capable of changing your life, this conversation offers a gentler, more empowering way to look at yourself — one that creates possibility instead of pressure.

If you want support with this work:

✨ Join my membership

You can come into the community this week for a free 7-day trial. You’ll get access to:

1. Weekly group coaching calls
2. My private daily podcast (500+ episodes)
3. A supportive, thoughtful community of women doing this work together

Go to joinamanda.ca to find out more.

✨ 1:1 Coaching

I currently have limited availability for private coaching.

Book a discovery call here:

👉 amandahess.ca/bookacall

If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.

You can find me on Instagram at @theamandahess — send me a DM and tell me what stood out.

Whether you celebrate or not, I’m sending you so much love as this year comes to a close.

You are not stuck. You are not broken.

And you are allowed to change.

Feeling is part of being human. Suffering is not.

In this episode, Amanda breaks down the crucial difference between feeling emotions and suffering because of them. You’ll hear a raw, honest reflection on what it’s like to try to “hold it all together,” why doing more never actually fixes emotional overwhelm, and how learning to slow down is the real way out of suffering.

This episode is a reminder that you don’t need better tools, better behavior, or more discipline — you need to take your foot off the emotional gas.

• Why 50% of life is always uncomfortable emotion (no matter how well you’re doing)
• The difference between feeling pain and creating suffering
• How “trying not to feel” actually extends suffering
• Why doing more, pushing harder, or expecting yourself to cope better doesn’t work
• The compounding factors that turn pain into long-term suffering
• What it really means to “take your foot off the emotional gas”
• Simple, practical ways to slow your nervous system in real time
• How to start asking yourself, “What do I need right now?” — and listening to the answer

• Feeling is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
• Pain happens. Hurt happens. Loss, rejection, and grief are real.
• Suffering comes from:
• Judgment
• Pressure
• Emotional acceleration
• Not slowing down
• Not regulating your nervous system
• You don’t need to fix yourself — you need to pause
• Slowing down is not quitting; it’s leadership
• Self-trust is built in small percentages — 5%, then 10%, then more

• Taking your foot off the emotional gas
• Regulating through the senses:
• Look around
• Notice what you see, hear, smell, taste, touch
• Breathing and grounding (takes seconds, not minutes)
• Asking yourself:

• Choosing support instead of speed

If this episode resonated and you find yourself thinking, “I need more of this — consistently,” that’s exactly why my membership exists.

Inside the membership, you get ongoing support to help you:

• Slow down instead of pushing harder
• Regulate your nervous system in real life
• Build self-trust one moment at a time
• Learn how to feel without suffering

This is the work — and you don’t have to do it alone.

👉 Join us at:

joinamanda.ca

Bring your questions.

Bring the overwhelm.

Bring the part of you that’s exhausted from trying to hold it all together.

You know where to find me.