Addiction is expensive. Beer, liquor, drugs, pills, porn - it all adds up. I was an oblivious wife and never really paid much attention to our bank statements. Math wasn't my best subject and I thought it was romantic that my husband took care of the bills and provided for us.

But I was wrong.

There was nothing romantic about wasting hundreds of thousands of dollars on the very things that are destroying our family.

It wasn't until he was in rehab that I finally sat down and looked over our checking account and realized how out of control this disease was.

Here's my helpful tip about managing your finances:

You should consider getting separate bank accounts if both you and your husband are earning an income. Put everything you earn into your account and DO NOT give him access. This disease will continue to rip you off and take from you no matter how upset you get at him.

I even recommend this to my friends who aren't married to an alcoholic or substance abuser. They say it's the best thing they have ever done for their marriage.

One friend makes more than her husband, so they both take money out of their separate accounts and put a set percentage into a joint account to pay the monthly bills. Her husband said it was so healthy for their relationship.

You can spend money on things that you like and you won't need to answer to him and he can spend money on beer or whatever and you don't need to nag him or worry about not being able to pay bills.

Another benefit is that it will help you keep a good credit rating. My credit rating was destroyed because addiction doesn't care if borrowing money to feed the disease will get you in debt.

I know this might be a big step for you, but please just consider it.

You're a strong and courageous woman. You've got this.

P.S. You can give him a courtesy "heads up" that you're doing this but you don't need to ask him for permission.

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