The word surrender is used a lot in the world of addiction. One of the things that always bothered me was that I was constantly being told that I needed to “let go and surrender,” but I never really understood how. The word surrender to me means letting go of my emotional investment in a certain outcome. Surrender doesn't mean we stop loving or caring. Another way of looking at how to “let go” is to think about the opposite of surrendering. What’s the opposite of surrendering? Controlling. https://michelleanderson.substack.com/

How to Really Surrender Control

Join host Michelle Anderson as she discusses life while loving someone struggling with addiction. The goal of each episode is to leave you with encouragement, hope, and some laughs while you navigate the heartbreaking and rewarding relationship of loving someone with substance use disorder. If you're exhausted from trying to help, lonely, and unsure what to do next - you've come to the right place.

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Relationships

"Should I leave my partner?" What a big question. And let's be honest, it's a question that many women in this community have. Let’s first start off by saying thinking about leaving is nothing to be ashamed of. We’re doing the right thing by looking for answers, even though it’s hard. The state of our relationships is not our fault. We fell in love with someone who really struggles with a very tragic and common issue. We love them. We see their potential. And we would do anything if the ones we love just got healthy. https://michelleanderson.substack.com/

Should We Leave?

Change is necessary if we want to move forward. Some of us enjoy changing, and others will avoid making the changes we know we need to because we're scared (I am raising my own hand). Change is uncomfortable, and staying stuck in our misery sometimes feels easier - even though it's not always what's best. https://michelleanderson.substack.com/

If We Struggle With Codependency

When I was married to a good man who suffered from addiction, I was terrified of leaving him. I thought about leaving all the time; I think part of me always knew, we would end up in divorce, but the idea of actually leaving paralyzed me with fear. There were times I was so upset I would try to will myself to leave, but for many reasons, I was always unable to walk away from a very unhealthy relationship. I thought, “Am I stuck in this marriage forever? Do I really have the courage to take my kids and leave?” https://michelleanderson.substack.com/

What To Do When We Feel Overwhelmed

When our loved ones who struggle with addiction choose to go to rehab or get help, it can bring up all sorts of feelings. We might feel hopeful that maybe THIS time, they will get sober for good. We might feel scared that maybe this won’t work and will be a huge disappointment. We might feel resentful that they are being cared for and looked after while we are left at home working overtime to make up for their absence. But one of the biggest worries I hear often is concerning trust. How can we ever trust them again? https://michelleanderson.substack.com/

The Truth About Trusting Them

If you’re familiar with the world of addiction or codependency, you’ve probably heard the word “detach”. But, like many “self-help” words, it can be very hard to understand exactly what detaching means, let alone how actually to detach. Does it mean you need to leave your partner who is suffering from addiction? Is there something cruel or manipulative about detaching? So many of us feel like we’re being disloyal if we choose to remove ourselves from our relationships emotionally. https://michelleanderson.substack.com/

How to Really Surrender Control

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