Do you struggle to know what kind of boundaries to set? Many of us are taught to intellectualize our approach to boundary setting, which can leave us feeling confused or overwhelmed. In this episode, Sarah explores the embodied nature of boundaries and why unresolved trauma can leave us setting self-protective boundaries that aren’t actually aligned with our highest truth.

You’ll learn about three styles of boundary setting — diffuse, rigid, and embodied — and how to somatically begin coming back in contact with your truth. During the Q&A with Rachel, Sarah will also tackle real-life boundary challenges in work, relationships, and beyond. If you feel caught in cycles of over-giving, reflexively saying “yes” or “no,” or sacrificing your own needs, this episode will help you understand why — and how to create boundaries that truly serve you.

Episode Highlights: 

00:00 Introduction

00:15 What Are Embodied Boundaries? 

04:46 Why We Struggle With Boundaries

09:22 Self-Protective Boundaries: Diffuse

18:01 Self-Protective Boundaries: Rigid 

25:01 Embodied Boundaries

28:33 Steps to Begin Setting Embodied Boundaries

35:17 Q&A Segment With Rachel 

35:58 “Can I Stay in a High-Pressure Work Environment?”

43:25 “How Can I Stop Over-Giving and Being Resentful?”

56:20 “Am I Going Backward in My Healing Journey?”

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Important Keywords:

Embodied Boundaries –  A behavioral response that is rooted in one’s internal truth, limits, and needs. These boundaries are usually accessed when close to or in regulation and allow for deep levels of connectivity and autonomy.

Self-Protective Boundaries – When we’ve experienced trauma or our truth was chronically taken away, we learn to adapt and set self-protective boundaries. These boundaries are typically rooted in survival or a younger part that is seeking safety.

Diffuse Boundaries – An adaptive, self-protective boundary associated with the reflexive “yes” response. Think of these as “Swiss cheese” boundaries, where it is a boundary of sorts but it is permeable.

Rigid Boundaries – An adaptive, self-protective boundary associated with the reflexive “no” response. Think of these as “steel wall” boundaries, where nothing is able to permeate the boundary. 

Autonomic Nervous System: The self-protective system within the body that is responsible for our thoughts, feelings, sensations, behaviors, and perception of self, others, and the world around us, as well as regulating involuntary functions, such as your heart rate and digestion, and playing a central role in how you react to stress or calm.