Infinite Devotion

You want a Dom/sub dynamic and your partner doesn't know it yet. How do you bring it up?

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep128&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires real
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep128&utm_content=notes_top

In 2018 I asked Dawn to be my submissive almost on a whim, and I hadn't prepared for anything after those words left my mouth. In this episode I walk through what I wish I had done first, whether you want to lead or to submit. Get clear on what you're asking for, separate your desire from what you hope it will fix, and know the difference between a fantasy and the life you actually live. Then look honestly at your own history with power, and at how urgent this feels.

For the men, I ask whether you truly want to lead, and whether you have the self-leadership she would be surrendering to. For the women, I ask whether you're trying to escape yourself, whether you trust him to lead, and whether you've been the one in control. Then we get into the conversation itself: timing, sobriety, taking it in pieces, no ultimatums, and handing the lead to the Dominant once it begins. It took Dawn a month to say yes, and I close with the question I never asked myself: what will you do if they say no?

Once the conversation opens, the two of you have to build something real together: what the dynamic means, how far it reaches, and the agreements that make it safe to step into. Structuring Your D/s Dynamic walks you through building yours. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep128&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

How do you feel submissive when your whole life asks you to be in control? I think it's the wrong question.

FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifesto
https://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep127&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Living Surrendered, Dawn's workshop on letting go of control
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep127&utm_content=notes_top

Most of the messages I get come from women asking how to feel submissive after a day of running everything at work and at home. In this episode I answer it directly: you can't be in control and submissive at the same time, because they're opposites. Submission is being the one who isn't deciding. The better question is why you need to control everything, and whether you have the capacity to trust.

I talk about what happens when a good man is ready to lead and you won't let go: he won't force you, so he steps back, and you stay convinced men like that don't exist. We get into the choices that put you in control, the fear underneath them, and why your submission is yours to offer. Then the practical part: question everything, slow your life down, let some things drop, and learn to lead with receiving.

If you can't stop running everything long enough to feel your submission, Dawn made Living Surrendered for you. It's her workshop on how she learned to let go of control, with the full Q&A. Watch it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep127&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Lovense toys (affiliate): https://www.lovense.com/r/c5fglq

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

What can we learn from the D/s dynamics that fell apart? I share nine lessons from years of coaching and from our own mistakes.

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep126&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires real
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep126&utm_content=notes_top

Most of the time on this podcast I lean toward what makes these dynamics work. This time I share nine lessons from dynamics I've watched go badly through years of coaching, and some that Dawn and I lived through ourselves. Fear sits underneath all of them: fear of speaking up, of being vulnerable, of losing the relationship, and the compliance and quiet resentment that follow. Please use these to sit down together and find a different path, and never as a weapon against your partner.

We get into why a dynamic can't live in a bubble, why casting your partner in a fantasy role leads to chronic disappointment, and how I pushed Dawn for more until I learned to let go of my timeline. I talk about why D/s exposes a broken foundation, why you can't go back to comfortably numb once you've seen behind the veil, and the damage a Dominant does when he withdraws his leadership after she has started to surrender. The last two lessons are growing together and devotion as a structural requirement: the willingness to stay when all of this shows up.

Most of these failures come down to a dynamic without the structure to hold fear, pacing and real life. Structuring Your D/s Dynamic walks you through building one that's woven into how you actually live together. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep126&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

What does a 24/7 Dom/sub marriage actually look like from the inside? I answer your questions about our real life.

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep125&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep125&utm_content=notes_top

This time I set the advice aside and let you into our life. Dawn has worn my collar for seven years, and we've been married for fifteen, so we've still spent more of our marriage outside the dynamic than inside it. I answer the questions you sent: my dream playroom, how I regulate my nervous system when Dawn is going through something, what it was like when she wanted to start an OnlyFans, and whether I care that some people call me a cuck.

We get into how I keep leading when Dawn is having a hard time, and what happened when I was the one stuck in bed. I talk about meeting new edges with permission and no pressure, why we never step out of the dynamic to be "normal," and how I lead a grocery run the same way I lead a scene. I also share how the spaces we live in shape her ability to relax and open, how we keep our RV beautiful, and why we stopped trying to have sex at bedtime.

Holding steady when she's struggling starts with dominance as an inside job, and Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I took to build it. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep125&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Dawn of Desire, our adult content together: https://dawnofdesire.com

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Is it kink that is driving your D/s dynamic, or is it codependency wearing a collar?

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep124&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires real
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep124&utm_content=notes_top

Almost every Dominant and submissive couple I have worked with has had some codependency playing out inside their dynamic, and Dawn and I have played out plenty of our own. I share two client stories, one where the submissive's fear had nothing to do with her Dominant and one where his sense of being Dominant depended on her submitting. Drawing on Melody Beattie's Codependent No More, I explain why codependency feels like caring when it is really about managing your own anxiety, and why D/s can give those patterns a justification to go deeper.

The critical difference is that in a healthy power exchange both people keep their sovereignty, agency and consent. I walk through how codependency shows up as dominance, from bottoming from the top to rejecting who she is to micromanagement, and how it shows up as submission, from people pleasing and losing yourself to hypervigilance and overexplaining. Polarity needs space, and you have to be complete to submit and complete to lead. When two whole people choose to exchange power from pure desire, you have something real to give.

If you recognized your own patterns in this one, Structuring Your D/s Dynamic helps the two of you build rules, needs and agreements that come from two whole people rather than from fear. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep124&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Dawn's collars come from Eternity Collars. Use code DEVOTION for a discount (affiliate link): https://www.eternitycollars.com?bg_ref=0iRJJDqHMs

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

What do martial arts, breath work and a race car have to do with becoming a solid man? My first ever follower interview.

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep123&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep123&utm_content=notes_top

Robert is someone Dawn and I met in person on our travels, and I've traded messages with him for years. He's been training karate under the same teacher for almost 40 years, a teacher who learned to train in harmony with the body and the breath. Robert shares how he came through four years of depression as a teenager, the night that nearly ended his life, and the decision to take extreme ownership, burn his old life down and start again from zero.

We get into why a man needs the capacity to be a monster and the self-control to keep it in check, how physical competence calms the ancient stress response, and the long exhale breathing his teacher could feel in him. He tells stories from Porsche track days, wheel to wheel racing and BJJ. Then we land on what Robert most wants men to know: all that strength left him disarmed in front of a woman's emotional storm, and building a spine is what lets you open your heart without losing your center. A note before you listen: Robert shares a story about nearly taking his own life, from about 11:20 to 15:33.

Robert built strength in every domain except one: staying centered and open in front of a woman's emotions. That's the inner work at the heart of Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path I took, daily grounding practice included. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep123&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Why does wanting something you don't have feel like weakness, and what changes when a man can hold his desire without chasing it?

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep122&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep122&utm_content=notes_top

Last week I spoke to women about separating desire from fulfillment. This week I turn to men. Most of the problems men bring me come down to discomfort with wanting, because desire we can't satisfy feels like weakness. So we either stuff it and call it stoicism, or we grasp and get controlling and manipulative. Both cut us off from desire itself, and being a Dominant man means being sovereign over your wanting.

I talk about desire as a compass, how boys get broken from their own wanting, and why so many men hit their forties feeling dead inside. We get into the difference between a magnetic man and an empty man, and between wanting her and needing her, because a need becomes pressure she will shut down under. I explain why polarity lives in the space between wanting and having, and I close with a simple practice for feeling your desire fully without being enslaved to it.

Holding the tension between wanting and having is where the fire between a man and a woman lives. Rapture is where Dawn and I teach desire, polarity and intimacy inside a real dynamic. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep122&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

What if wanting, without rushing to get, is the whole point? Part one of two, for the women.

FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifesto
https://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep121&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Living Surrendered, Dawn's workshop on letting go of control
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep121&utm_content=notes_top

This is part one of a two-part series on separating desire from fulfillment, and this week I speak to the feminine side. Most of us learned early to stop wanting what we can't have, or to work until we get it. A woman who moves toward every desire, fixes everything and fills herself up loses her capacity to be met. I use the image of a full can of gasoline: inert on its own, a holy fire the moment the match touches it.

We get into the feminine art of holding space for what isn't real yet, why so many women aren't receiving more from men, and desire as a prayer and a compass. I talk about discernment, deciding who gets to come close with that match, and why sexual desire is the path back to aliveness. And I share what I think is the most important point for women in this episode: receiving starts with receiving desire from yourself.

If you're always planning, fixing and moving toward what you want, and you can't seem to relax and be met, Dawn made Living Surrendered for you. It's her workshop on how she let go of control, with the full Q&A. Watch it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep121&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Can deep love and intense sexual passion live in the same relationship? Everything we teach comes back to that question.

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep120&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep120&utm_content=notes_top

I recorded this one live. Everything we teach on Dom Sub Devotion comes down to integrating love and power. When Dawn and I started, we had no examples of a loving marriage that made this work, and I wouldn't accept that I couldn't have both deep intimacy and sexual intensity with the woman I love. I talk about power without love, the compartmentalized kink that eventually fades, and love without power, two people trying to please each other until desire dies.

We lose the passion when we move from wanting each other to being afraid of losing each other. I share what we teach men and women, why rules and protocols alone can't make her feel anything, and why you don't have to give up your kink. The D/s part is easy. Sustainable desire takes individuality and devotion, and the work it would take to make a new relationship better is the same work that makes this one better. I close with two questions: could you be untriggerable, and could you be okay with any outcome?

Bringing love and power together is the whole dynamic, and it is what Rapture is built around: how Dawn and I keep desire, intimacy and polarity growing inside one devoted relationship. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep120&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

How has my understanding of what I teach changed after seven years of living it with Dawn?

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep119&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep119&utm_content=notes_top

We're nearing our 15th wedding anniversary, seven of those years inside our 24/7 dynamic, and coming into 2026 I wanted to share how my understanding of my own teachings has evolved. I start with masculine emotion. I've taught men to keep from processing all their unprocessed emotions with her, and I've watched men use that as an excuse to shut her out. This past year, as I broke open emotionally, letting Dawn in and even crying on her shoulder brought us closer. Then I share two definitions of feminine chaos, and why a woman who descends deep into her body becomes calm, still, pure potential.

I talk about slowing down on the inside, catching myself tense while eating and washing dishes, and how Dawn started to relax and release big feelings once I calmed down. We get into the role fear plays in desire, and how often we're in relationship with each other's fear and conditioning. I draw a new distinction between structure and containment: the Dominant applies structure to himself and the world, and offers her containment so she can be free. And the last lesson ties it together: you heal the relationship by healing the individuals.

Nearly every lesson here comes back to the man doing his own work first: slowing down inside, letting her see him, and building his own inner authority. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I built from that work. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep119&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book