Infinite Devotion

By Andrew Reign & DawnSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Education Self-Improvement Relationships Sexuality

Infinite Devotion episodes

June 29 Introduction to Infinite Devotion
Welcome to Infinite Devotion. To learn more about us visit https://infinitedevotion.com
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
4 min
June 22 Why the Love and Desire Died in Your Relationship (And How to Get Them Back) | Infinite Devotion Episode 137
Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/community
Why the Love and Desire Died in Your Relationship (And How to Get Them Back)

The love and desire don't die because something went wrong between you. They die because something shifted inside each of you. The relationship is just the light bulb. If it's not turning on, that's a signal, not the problem itself.

This is the most conceptually dense episode I've put out, and I mean that in the best way. I take everything Dawn and I have lived through, from one of the most sexually charged connections I'd ever felt to a dead bedroom and back to something better than how we started, and I lay out the framework that explains why any of it happened at all.

Polarity, masculine energy, feminine energy. These aren't tools you deploy. They're a way of understanding what's already happening inside you. And when you understand them, you stop trying to fix the wrong thing.

CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Welcome and Mission
02:57 Why Polarity Matters
07:01 Polarity Is Not a Tool
07:43 Sexual vs Emotional Energy
14:32 Battery and Lightbulb Model
20:54 New Relationship Energy
26:41 Internal Polarity Basics
33:08 Masculine Expression in Men
37:13 Inverted Masculine Patterns
40:30 Feminine Expression and Inversion
50:32 Ceiling Fan Polarity Metaphor
57:51 Root Causes and Blocked Energy
01:03:42 Practical Steps to Realign
01:08:57 Closing and Next Steps

Find more from us at https://infinitedevotion.com
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 11 min
June 15How the Lack of Masculine Presence Taught Her to Control Everything | Infinite Devotion Episode 136
Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/community
Last week I talked about killing the nice guy. This week I'm speaking to the other side of the same wound.
When masculine presence is absent from a relationship, a woman fills the space the only way she knows how. She takes control. Of everything.
This episode is about why she does that, where it comes from, and what it actually takes to create the conditions where she can start to let go.
I'm drawing directly from Dawn's and my 17 years together, including the patterns that nearly killed our relationship and the slow, unglamorous work that turned it into something neither of us could have built alone.
In this episode:
Why the wounded masculine and wounded feminine mirror each other in polarity inversion
Why healing looks fundamentally different for men and women, and why that asymmetry matters
The concept of existential vulnerability, and why a woman's healed state requires a kind of courage that men rarely have to face
Why "a healed woman doesn't exist without a healed man" isn't codependency, it's physics
Dawn's story: the rigid religious upbringing, the self-abandonment that got rewarded as obedience, and the lie her whole life was built around
Why the control pattern runs all the way down to survival, and why telling her to "just let go" is like telling an angry person to calm down
What it actually means to hold her, not with promises, but with presence she can feel
Why this process is slow, what it looks like in real time, and why it's worth every bit of it

CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Nice Guy Recap
02:10 Polarity Inversion Explained
03:54 Control Patterns and Stress
07:16 Why Surrender Is Hard
08:34 Hold Her Not Fix Her
13:14 Modern Roots of Distrust
19:31 Self Sabotage in Love
20:58 Childhood Conditioning and Perfection
31:36 Life Built on a Lie
36:19 Why Letting Go Feels Unsafe
40:10 Safety Takes Years
43:34 Grief and Being Held
46:29 Healing Together
48:04 Closing and Reviews
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
49 min
June 08How I Killed My Inner Nice Guy and Made Her Want Me Again | Infinite Devotion Episode 135
Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/community
There was a version of me that did everything right. Generous, patient, never complained. Worked hard, provided, put her needs first. And Dawn hadn't truly desired me in years. This episode is about why.

In this episode, I go completely off-script to share a stretch of my marriage to Dawn where, by my own account, I didn't exist. Not in the way that matters.

I was there physically, going through the motions, doing all the things, but there was no actual person inside of it. Just a performance. A shape-shifting, approval-seeking, endlessly accommodating version of a man trying to earn something he could never earn his way to.

I share what it actually cost me, what it looked like from inside the marriage, and the specific moment of humiliation that finally cracked something open.

This isn't relationship advice. It's an honest account of what it took to go from a man Dawn could only tolerate to a man she actually craves. The difference wasn't a technique. It was becoming a real person.

IN THIS EPISODE:
The Noble Corpse: Why self-sacrifice doesn't make you generous or devoted. It makes you dead.
The Performance Trap: Why being a "good guy" can leave you feeling completely empty and unlovable at the same time.
The Humiliation Choice: The moment I realized I was trying to talk Dawn into wanting me, and what that moment actually meant.
The False Blueprint: Why constructing a new and improved false self (the dominant man, the stoic man) doesn't fix anything.
The Empty Home: Why your wife's lack of desire for you might have nothing to do with her, and everything to do with the fact that there's no one home inside your body.

Find more from Andrew & Dawn on Instagram at https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion
Or at https://infinitedevotion.com

CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Off Script Confession
01:59 The Missing Self
05:49 Approval Based Identity
11:07 Nice Guy Origins
15:11 Self Sacrifice Kills Desire
24:11 Bedroom Humiliation Turning Point
31:29 Stop Building New Masks
36:11 Excavate Your True Identity
41:02 Mirror Work And Painful Truths
43:38 Rebuilding Through Action
46:29 Support From Other Men
51:21 Desire Returns When You Exist
56:04 Final Wrap And Takeaway
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
58 min
June 01Why She Shuts Down Around You (And What You're Doing to Cause It) | Infinite Devotion Episode 134
Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/community
Why She Shuts Down Around You (And What You're Doing to Cause It)

She used to bring you everything. Now she barely brings you anything. And you can feel it, even if you can't name what changed.

In this episode, Andrew makes a case that most men aren't going to want to hear: the way she's showing up emotionally right now is largely a response to how safe you've made it for her to feel around you.

Not because you're a bad person. Because you were never taught that emotions make sense, and so you've been, mostly unconsciously, telling her that only some of hers are acceptable to you. And she learned.

What's covered:
Why every emotion she feels is a 100% accurate response to something, and why the flaw is in your timeline, not in her feelings
How trying to shut down the emotions you don't like also kills the desire, warmth, and openness you actually want from her
The way men unconsciously teach the women they love to stop feeling openly, and what that costs both of them
Where emotional repression comes from, and why it almost certainly started long before your relationship did
What happens to her, to you, and to the desire between you when you start letting her feel again

This one is primarily for men, but if you're a woman who has felt yourself getting smaller around your partner, or who has stopped bringing him the full weight of what you feel, it's for you too.

Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community

Free Resources Free guides, tools & giveaways
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Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
43 min
May 25 You're Not In Love, You're In Control: Why Secure Attachment Is Still a Cage | Infinite Devotion Episode 133
Can you feel joy for your partner's joy with nothing needed in return? I use one word from the non-monogamy world to test what real love feels like.
FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep133&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep133&utm_content=notes_top
Compersion is a feeling of wholehearted joy for your partner experiencing their own joy. It comes out of the non-monogamy communities, and I think it has something to teach anyone in a long-term relationship, monogamous or not. I define love as an unconditional acceptance of who someone is right now, needing nothing from them. Once we fall in love, most of us start to fear losing it, and that fear turns love into attachment, which is really control.
I talk about why the goal of secure attachment still rests on needing your partner to act a certain way, and why people pleasing, on either side of the dynamic, still comes with strings attached. We get into why compersion can't be performed, the man who let his wife walk all over him and called it unconditional love, the guys who get triggered by her sex toy, and how I used to project my own patterns right back onto Dawn. When you stop needing them to be different, they can breathe, and they can move toward you from real desire.
Love that needs nothing back is what lets devotion and desire keep growing together. Rapture is the journey Dawn and I built for couples who want that kind of power, connection and intimacy in their dynamic. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep133&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
39 min
May 18 What Conscious Power Exchange Actually Looks Like in Real Life | Infinite Devotion Episode 132
Founding members of our Community brought me their questions about living conscious power exchange for real.
FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep132&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep132&utm_content=notes_top
These questions came from the first members of the Infinite Devotion Community. I start with the nice guy patterns so many of us learned from romantic comedies, and why trying to get something from her quietly turns her off. A woman asks whether leading a woman feels to a man the way carrying a childlike man feels to her. I share how Dawn and I lived through the dead bedroom years, why leading her has felt like a gift to me, and why the same responsibility burned her out.
I talk about the change in our dynamic I never saw coming: learning to lead Dawn through her cycle, and what that grace did for her trust. I answer a mother of two young girls about showing submission at home, then share our favorite places from life on the road in our RV. We get into the difference between conscious power exchange and old gendered labor, and why I took on all the housework as my responsibility. And I end with how Dawn went from so vanilla she didn't know the word to the woman she is now.
Every answer here comes back to the same polarity: his open-hearted responsibility and her trust to let go, lived in the real details of a marriage. Rapture is where Dawn and I teach that whole dynamic, from desire to daily life. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep132&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
48 min
May 11 We Built the Community You've Been Asking For | Infinite Devotion Episode 131
Where do you go to talk about this life with people who get it? We built that place.
FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep131&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: The Infinite Devotion Community, real conversation and support with couples and individuals living devotional D/s
https://infinitedevotion.com/community?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep131&utm_content=notes_top
For years people have told Dawn and me they feel completely alone living a D/s dynamic, and women have asked me where they can have a conversation without being flooded with unwanted pictures and DMs. So I built the Infinite Devotion Community, a space for conscious, thoughtful conversations about power exchange. In this episode I share why I built it, how it differs from FetLife, Reddit and Facebook groups, and how it leads toward the in-person events we want to host.
I walk through all ten guidelines and why each one is there: share your experience, act with class, no dating or pickup, no DMs without consent, R-rated or below, protect privacy, no self-promotion, and engage in good faith. I talk about why I'm moderating it personally, why there's a small fee and how you get it back as a coupon, and the channels inside, including a thread for every podcast episode, spaces for Doms and for submissives, and Ask Infinite Devotion.
If you've been living this dynamic and feeling alone in it, the Infinite Devotion Community is the place I built for you, with real conversation and access to Dawn and me. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/community?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep131&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
45 min
April 27 When the Dominant Isn't Actually the Dominant | Infinite Devotion Episode 130
If the Dominant is not the one actually making the decisions, who is really leading your dynamic?
FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep130&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep130&utm_content=notes_top
This was my first live stream on Instagram, and I took it straight to a question that comes up after I teach polarity: when a submissive gives to her Dominant sexually, or he is on his knees in front of her, who is the Dominant in that moment? Positions and labels tell you nothing about who is in charge. The decision is where authority lives, and if I am navigating around her feelings or trying to manage her reactions, she is the one deciding. I also explain how consistent friction, when he is making his best effort, trains a man to anticipate and avoid her reactions until the relationship crumbles.
For the submissives I talk about the fear underneath the need to get your way, and why real submission means stating your limits and then actually letting go. I answer live questions on telling your voice apart from subconscious control, why telling a controlling woman she needs to let go only makes it worse, and what happens when two people try to occupy the masculine at once. I close with how Dawn let go gradually and then suddenly, the long in-between after she put on the collar, the ego deaths she went through, and why the Dominant needs to be the one deciding.
If you hold the title but she is still the one deciding, Becoming a Dominant Man is where I teach you to make real decisions, stand firm through her reactions and lead her out of control. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep130&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 3 min
April 20 The Truth About Monogamy, Non-Monogamy, and Devotion | Infinite Devotion Episode 129
Monogamy or openness, which one is right? I think most people are defending a position to avoid their own fear.
FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep129&utm_content=notes_top
GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep129&utm_content=notes_top
A short answer I gave about monogamy in a Q&A has stayed with me ever since, so this episode goes all the way into it. Humans don't behave like naturally monogamous creatures, and bouncing between casual connections leaves people just as empty. I look at how monogamy gets used to lock love down and avoid abandonment, and how non-monogamy gets used to spread attachment so thin that no one gets close enough to hurt you. The language is different, and the fear underneath is the same.
I also take on the myth of the high value man, and why the man chasing status has the least of it. Then I get into default monogamy versus conscious devotion: a daily choice to go all the way into one person and stay in the heat long enough for it to burn something away. Dawn and I didn't set out on this path. It came from my drive to solve one paradox: how you have intense, passionate sex with the person you love most, in a way that gets better over time.
Devotion is what lets love and desire keep growing with one person over the long term. Rapture is our flagship course for couples, built from everything Dawn and I have lived inside that fire. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep129&utm_content=notes_bridge
MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
59 min

About Infinite Devotion

From the publisher's feed

Most long-term relationships end up in the same place. Two good people who love each other, living like roommates, wondering where the fire went and whether it's ever coming back.