Infinite Devotion

By Andrew Reign & DawnSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Education Self-Improvement Relationships Sexuality

Infinite Devotion episodes

November 10Marriage Is Dead, Long Live Marriage | Infinite Devotion Episode 157
Why does passion fade in marriage? Why do two people who still love each other stop wanting each other? In this episode I answer both questions, and the answer is not what you've been told.
The passion didn't fade because of time, familiarity, or the kids. It faded because two people slowly went into hiding from each other. What was buried can be dug back out, and when it is, the sex and desire you had at the beginning come back on their own. You cannot force it, and you don't have to fix the relationship. This episode is for anyone in a sexless marriage, a dead bedroom, or a long-term relationship where the love is still there and the fire is gone.
This episode marks the release of my book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime. It's out now, in paperback, hardcover and Kindle:
https://infinitedevotion.com/book
First, I pronounce the old marriage dead. For most of history, marriage was an arrangement with jobs to do: survival, property, a woman's only economy, the one approved place for sex and children, standing in the community, a promise to God. Every one of those jobs has been made irrelevant in a couple of generations. Then we tried building marriage on a feeling, and that version is dying right in front of us. If you grew up watching your parents and decided no thanks, you were reading the situation correctly.
Then I hand marriage back with a new purpose. You can have deep love and intense passion with the same person, in the same marriage, and it can keep getting better for the rest of your life. I've been with my wife, Dawn, for seventeen years. We went from a dead bedroom to a marriage that's hotter now than it was in our first months, and this episode is what we found on the way.
In this episode:
What marriage used to be for, and why every one of those reasons is gone
Why marrying for a feeling turns into two people abandoning themselves
The assumption that passion has to fade in a long relationship, and why counselors, date nights and scheduled sex don't bring it back
Our dead bedroom years: Dawn running to the door at the beginning, and the night I argued my case for her desire
The one question the old marriages never asked
Why the fire went underground, and why familiarity was never what killed it
The sex you want comes naturally, and you can't force it now any more than you could at the beginning
What seventeen years in looks like: more desire than the honeymoon, and still growing
Why commitment turned out to be the thing that made freedom possible
A word to the man whose wife doesn't want him, and the woman who thinks she has a low libido
Chapters:
00:00 Marriage is dead
02:35 What marriage was for
08:02 Marriage as a feeling, and why it fails
13:38 Our dead bedroom years
19:06 What the new marriage is for
22:44 The sex you want comes naturally
27:54 Long live marriage
38:15 To the man whose wife doesn't want him, and the woman told she has a low libido
40:01 Commitment, freedom and devotion
43:55 To three people
45:47 Where to get the book
Links:
Get the book:
https://infinitedevotion.com/book
Read the full post:
https://www.infinitedevotion.com/blog/marriage-is-dead-long-live-marriage
The Infinite Devotion Podcast:
https://infinitedevotion.com/podcasts/infinite-devotion
Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion
Instagram:
https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion
Blog:
https://infinitedevotion.com/blog
Free resources:
https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
About Infinite Devotion:
I'm Andrew, author of Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime, and a coach and teacher who works with men, women, and couples on love, desire, and conscious relationship. My wife, Dawn, and I have been together seventeen years. Each week on this podcast we talk about masculine and feminine energy, polarity, embodiment, and how to keep both love and desire alive for a lifetime.
47 min
November 02Why Don't I Want to Have Sex With My Husband? | Infinite Devotion Episode 156
Why Don't I Want to Have Sex With My Husband?
"I wanted to want it more. I just didn't, and I didn't know what was wrong with me."
That's how Dawn describes the years her desire went quiet. This is part two of our series on desire in long-term relationships, and it's for the women. Last week was the man's half. This week Dawn and I get into hers: why her libido never actually died, what buried it, and what it has taken over the last five and a half years for her desire to come alive bigger than it was at the beginning.
In this episode we get into:
Why nobody has a dead libido, only a buried one
The lies Dawn believed: "low libido," the infatuation stage, and what a good marriage is supposed to look like
Desire as the pull, and why willingness is something else
The day Dawn asked what was standing between her and feeling turned on
Why slowing down is the first step, and who your body actually belongs to
The Madonna-whore split women run on themselves
The gasoline and the match, and the turn-ons hiding in the things you've judged
Being turned on by your own life
Why there's no technique, and what to do instead
Speaking up, rebuilding self-trust, and the day Dawn told me she wasn't turned on by my body
Next week's episode comes out Tuesday, November 10, the day my book Infinite Devotion launches. Get the first chapter free, sent to your inbox Sunday, November 8.
Chapters
00:00 Part two: her side of desire
02:11 Nobody has a dead libido
04:15 We never saw passion last
06:18 Even at the worst, her body kept telling the truth
07:34 The lies Dawn believed
08:58 Desire is the pull
10:21 Her sexuality ran through me
12:29 "My hand can touch you, yours can't"
14:19 Five and a half years, and why you can't rush it
16:40 "When you come, I see God"
18:24 Why slowing down comes first
20:32 The same pull toward anything in life
22:44 Who does your body belong to?
24:42 When's the last time you pleasured yourself?
25:23 Communion and learning how to be
26:35 From wanting to obligation
29:54 Unwinding codependency
31:11 The Madonna-whore split women run on themselves
33:58 Capacity, orgasm, and letting go of control
35:10 The gasoline and the match
37:19 Your biggest turn-ons live in the shadow
38:04 Turned on by your own life
39:20 Acceptance, and learning to feel what you receive
41:19 There is no technique
43:58 If you're close to leaving, try staying
45:04 "I wanted to want it"
46:24 Hold the little girl on your lap
47:16 Let your emotions burn away the lies
48:26 When nothing in your life turns you on
50:29 Getting loud and rebuilding self-trust
52:11 "I'm not turned on by your body"
56:48 A woman's feelings are always accurate to something
58:46 Intimacy and intensity, together
59:25 The book, out November 10
Mentioned in this episode
Communion: six months home to your body, for women. Waitlist open now.
The Few: my six-month group for men. Waitlist open now.
The Gasoline & The Match: Understanding Feminine Desire
Lovense: Dawn's favorites are the Lush 4 and the Domi 2. Our link includes a discount.
Part one, for the men: Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me?
Infinite Devotion, the book
Some of these are affiliate links. If you buy through them, we earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
Connect with us
Read the companion post on the blog
YouTube | Apple Podcasts | Spotify
Instagram
Free resources
1 hr 1 min
October 26Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me? | Infinite Devotion Episode 155
Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me?
Around 2014 I typed that exact question into Google. It started everything Dawn and I do now.
This is part one of a two-part series, and it's for the men. Dawn and I get into why the pull you felt at the beginning never actually died, how desire slowly turns into obligation, and why you can never talk a woman into wanting you. Then we get practical about the half of this a man can actually control.
Next week, part two: her side of it.
In this episode we get into:
What sex and desire were like at the beginning for us, and what that proves
The "infatuation stage" assumption, and why I refused to believe it
How wanting each other turns into trying to keep each other
Why there's no room for desire inside obligation
The night I lay in bed arguing with Dawn about why she should want me
Deciding to stop asking her to want me, and to become a man she actually wants
Choosing to stay, even if it never worked, and what that taught me about devotion
Dawn's honest take on how most men present themselves (she doesn't pull punches)
The low-hanging fruit: clothes, grooming, shoes, fitness, and getting your health checked
Whether you actually approve of women being sexual beings, and the Madonna-whore split
How enmeshment makes desire structurally impossible
Chapters 00:00 The question that started everything 03:11 What sex was like at the beginning 06:24 Where does the pull go? 08:40 The "infatuation stage" 11:03 Can you want what you already have? 12:29 From wanting each other to keeping each other 13:31 What changed in me 16:22 Desire is something she feels in response to you 19:16 Stress, money, and the man she stopped seeing 22:03 The half you can control 23:31 The night I tried to talk her into wanting me 26:54 Done asking, becoming a man she wants 32:07 Choosing to stay 34:04 Physical attraction matters 35:03 Dawn on how men present themselves 39:14 The easy stuff: clothes, grooming, shoes 41:11 How would you show up if you were dating again? 42:05 Get your health checked 43:11 Do you approve of women's sexuality? 45:09 The Madonna-whore split 49:36 She's a sexual being, and not only toward you 52:15 Enmeshment and your independent life 53:21 You can still have this
Mentioned in this episode Function Health, where Dawn and I get our bloodwork done: click here for $25 off Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity Giving To Receive: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog/giving-to-receive The Infinite Devotion book, out November 10: https://infinitedevotion.com/book
Listen to the full episode Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w YouTube: https://youtu.be/c5IACzRhxS8
More from Infinite Devotion Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion
Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
55 min
October 19Marriage in 320 Square Feet | Infinite Devotion Episode 154
Dawn and I have lived full-time in our RV for almost two years. We live together, work together, travel together, and do all of it in a house with four rooms, thin walls, and a garden hose for plumbing. When a man heard about this recently, he looked at me and said, "You must be really good people."

We like each other, which helps. Mostly, we've gotten good at navigating discomfort. In this episode Dawn and I talk about what close quarters actually do to a marriage: the space you can't get from each other, the noise you can't control, and what this life has taught both of us about meeting our own needs without making the other person the problem. Then we stick around for a game of "who's more likely to," which gets a little spicy.

In this episode we get into:
Dawn crying through a wave of grief five feet from me making breakfast, and why she didn't ask me to stop
Why the biggest challenge of a small space is emotional room, more than physical room
What happens to a marriage when the eight hours apart disappear
The weekenders, a 10 PM golf cart parade, and recording content with a remote control car outside the bedroom wall
Three nights of storms, a 300-mile tow, and the dent in the truck that reminds me not to drive exhausted
Hard water, Dawn's hair, and the real logistics of plumbing a house with a garden hose
The laundromat saga in Michigan's Upper Peninsula
Enforced minimalism, and why we still dress up in a campground
Dawn's one-word answer when strangers ask what we do for work
Who's more likely to: forget things, wake the other up, get sappy, speed, laugh at a funeral, and forget how thin the walls are
The recipe app Dawn and I built together
The Infinite Devotion book launches November 10

CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Marriage in 320 square feet
04:00 Why this episode, and the game coming at the end
05:14 The biggest challenge: room for your own energy and emotions
08:13 Four rooms, one small house
09:54 The outdoors as living space
12:18 Sickness, flexibility, and being together almost constantly
14:13 Thin walls, the weekenders, and a golf cart parade
18:04 Storms, earplugs, and the dent in the truck
21:30 Thin walls and recording content
23:08 A tiny bathroom, and a month in a real house
24:38 Hard water, softeners, shower filters, and reverse osmosis
28:32 Laundry on the road
30:14 Surprising each other in a small space
31:43 Enforced minimalism and the wardrobe question
33:43 Dressing up in a campground
36:08 "So what do you do for work?"
38:28 The "who's more likely to" game
40:32 Packing, campsite frustrations, and middle-of-the-night wake-ups
44:54 Forgetfulness, letting go, and fist bumps
47:20 Sappy moments, misremembering, and laughing at the wrong time
48:02 The spicier round
51:05 Video ideas, speeding tickets, and who's the better cook
54:57 Dawn's cookbook app
57:46 The book launches November 10

Mentioned in this episode The Infinite Devotion book, out November 10. Get notified: https://infinitedevotion.com/book
Our RV: Brinkley Z 3515
Hears sleep earplugs (not an affiliate)
Dawn of Desire: https://dawnofdesire.com

Prefer to read? The companion essay: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog/marriage-in-320-square-feet

Listen to the full episode
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtu.be/UPqBz9WA2fw

More from Infinite Devotion
Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog
Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion

Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
59 min
October 12Why She Doesn’t Feel Safe With You (Even Though You’d Never Hurt Her) | Infinite Devotion Episode 153
Why She Doesn’t Feel Safe With You (Even Though You’d Never Hurt Her) | Infinite Devotion Episode 153

Ask most men if their woman feels safe with them and the answer comes fast: of course she does, I’d never hurt her. That’s the floor.

Underneath it is a layer of safety almost no man accounts for, and it decides whether she ever truly lets go in his presence: whether she can tell him the truth.

People will lie to you unless they feel safe enough not to. In this episode I get into why hiding is the human default, why comfort and safety are two different things, and why the only man a woman can fully trust is one who tells her the truth when it costs him something.

In this episode we get into:
Martha Beck’s year without a single lie, and why losing her marriage, career, and home felt like “safety, safety, safety”
Why everyone you love has edited themselves for you, probably today
The layer of fear most women carry that most men never see
Comfort as the absence of friction, and safety as knowing where you stand
The arm test from Diary of a CEO, and how Dawn and I use it to find what’s true in our bodies
Why keeping the peace makes you untrustworthy, and why she can feel it even when she can’t name it
Leading by going first, and the one sentence that makes saying a hard thing possible
What it cost me to admit why I really started my old business
Why the man who can’t say the hard thing usually can’t hear it either
How the truth brings back the fire you had at the beginning
Where to start: a journal, a friend, and one thing you’ve been afraid to say

Mentioned in this episode
Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity: https://marthabeck.com/the-way-of-integrity/
Last week’s episode with GS Youngblood: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog/powerful-at-work-powerless-at-home-how-to-lead-a-strong-woman

Listen to the full episode
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

More from Infinite Devotion
Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog
Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion
Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store

CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 What Safety Really Means
01:19 Truth Requires Safety
02:58 Martha Beck Truth Year
06:26 Women and Deeper Fear
07:40 Body Knows the Truth
09:22 Truth Changes Your Life
11:41 Comfort Versus Safety
16:41 Lead With Hard Truths
20:12 Receive Her Truth Too
23:19 Reviving Long Relationships
24:45 Let Truth Wash Away
27:34 Practices to Tell Truth
30:38 Final Challenge and Wrap
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
32 min
October 05Powerful at Work, Powerless at Home: Leading a Strong Woman with GS Youngblood | Infinite Devotion Episode 152
Powerful at Work, Powerless at Home: Leading a Strong Woman with GS Youngblood | Infinite Devotion Episode 152

I haven't had a guest on this show in over a year. I decided I'd only bring someone on if I really wanted to talk to them, and it took a year to find that person. GS Youngblood is the author whose books I've bought and given away more than anyone else's, and when he talks to men about relationships, you can hear that he has lived every word.

GS spent seventeen years in the tech industry before a divorce left him feeling like a failure and sent him looking for a better way. Twenty years of study, and a thirteen-year relationship with a woman who carries both a strong feminine and a strong masculine, became the laboratory for his Masculine Blueprint: three elements that, embodied daily, put a man back in his masculine core and let his woman feel safe enough to open.

In this episode we get into:
Why so many men run teams at work and fold the moment their woman gets upset
Respond versus react, and why good intentions vanish the second the fight starts
The little boy trying to get out of trouble, and where that "oh shit" feeling really comes from
"I may or may not be the problem, but I am the solution," and how to take full responsibility without drowning in blame
The trifecta of embodiment practice, therapy, and coaching
How to feel deeply without becoming the "emotional flow boy," and what it means to hold your emotions and share them judiciously
Logistical, emotional, and sexual leadership, and why all of it starts with inner clarity
What to do when she asks you to lead and then shoots down every attempt
The sentence his ex-wife said that took him years to fully understand: "I can do all this stuff. I just don't want to have to."
Strong spine, big heart
Holding her fire, setting a boundary without leaving connection, and the line between a hard truth and actual abuse
Why everything she feels is accurate to something, even when it doesn't match the facts
The fear most women carry that most men never account for

Connect with GS Youngblood
Website: https://gsyoungblood.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/gsyoungbloodmir
Books (on Amazon): The Masculine in Relationship and The Art of Embodiment for Men

More from Infinite Devotion
Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog
Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion
Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store

CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
00:48 Why His Work Resonates
02:38 The Leadership Challenge
04:42 Origin of the Blueprint
08:04 Doing vs Embodying
11:19 Three Blueprint Elements
11:44 Respond Versus React
17:18 Nervous System Over Mindset
18:36 Responsibility Without Blame
23:43 Deescalating Conflict Fast
27:16 Feeling Emotions Like a Man
31:29 Flow Boy vs Containment
34:02 Provide Structure Leadership
35:15 Inner Clarity to Lead
37:11 Logistical Emotional Sexual Leadership
38:53 Why Leading Gets Rejected
39:30 Build Conviction and Start Small
42:24 Finding Inner Clarity
45:49 Work Mode vs Relationship Mode
53:12 Safety and Emotional Containment
56:49 Boundaries and Abuse Labels
01:05:59 Fear Empathy and Truth
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 12 min
September 28Why I'm Not Threatened When Other Men Want My Wife | Infinite Devotion Episode 151
Dawn sat down with a list of questions and didn't tell me what was on it. We were both in tears within the first five minutes.

A few weeks ago I posted, "I don't want you to be mine. I want you to be free and choose to stay." On Facebook it reached over a million people, and plenty of them were angry. One said that giving a partner that much freedom will turn even the best person into a bully. Another asked if it meant Dawn was done surrendering. This episode answers both. It's also the first time I've told the story of what happened on a beach in Los Angeles seven months ago, when I asked Dawn to stand up.

We also get into why most men's ideas about leading are really about getting, what faith becomes once it stops being a way to avoid questions, and why male, man, and masculine mean three different things.

In this episode:
What we each love about ourselves and each other (it got emotional fast)
The beach in LA, and why I asked Dawn to stand before offering her a new symbol of her surrender
Dawn on finding her own wholeness and choosing to follow from there instead of from self-abandonment
Why freedom doesn't turn your partner into a bully, and why I don't set boundaries on what Dawn can do
Two sentences that make everything make sense: there are no contradictions, and check your premises
Why your body sometimes has to learn to trust you again before you can fully trust it
Walking out of Catholic education at 13, and what faith means to us now
Male, man, and masculine, and what actually makes a male become a man
Do I get a blowjob every day? (No. And the men who want one are giving themselves away.)
Why other men seeing and wanting Dawn doesn't threaten me
Marriage as a choice you make every single day
The teachers who've shaped me most, and the one I've learned the most from by far

The book: Infinite Devotion comes out November 10. Join the email list at https://infinitedevotion.com to get notified when it's available!

More from Infinite Devotion:
Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog
Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion
Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
1 hr 12 min
September 21Why I No Longer Have a Love Language (It Was Lying to Me) | Infinite Devotion Episode 150
Everyone knows their love language. Couples quiz each other on it, therapists assign the book as homework, and it gets treated as the starting point of relational wisdom. In this episode I take the framework apart. Your love language is real, and it is telling you something true. It is a precise map of where your emptiness lives: the exact spot where your okayness depends on your partner's behavior.

I share my own story with words of affirmation, how the neediness underneath it played out with Dawn for years, and what finally filled the void that no amount of her words ever could.
In this episode:
What Gary Chapman actually got right, and where the prescription built on top of it goes wrong
What each of the five love languages confesses about where your self-abandonment lives
Where the emptiness comes from, and why your partner can never fill it
Three tests you can run tonight: joy or relief, what happens if they stop, and who you were really excited for when you found the quiz
How my collapse into neediness pressed on Dawn's oldest wounds
Why love from outside only ever lands on the performance
Inner child work: the only substance shaped like the hole
What love languages become when neither person needs anything

Read the full companion post on the blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog/why-i-no-longer-have-a-love-language-it-was-lying-to-me

Have a question about this episode? Send it through the contact page at infinitedevotion.com and I will answer it on a future Q&A. Questions for Dawn are welcome too; she will take them on in a future Ask Dawn Anything.

If this episode was valuable to you, a five star review takes fifteen seconds and helps us reach more people. It is the only thing I will ever ask of you.

More from Infinite Devotion:
Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog
Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion
Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store

CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Love Languages Hype
01:35 Framework vs Prescription
03:51 Love Language as Emptiness Map
07:21 Where Emptiness Comes From
16:02 Why It Turns Transactional
22:33 Relief or Joy Tests
24:30 Andrew and Dawn Story
33:06 Filling the Void Within
38:32 Love Without Strings
41:15 Use Love Language as Diagnosis
43:51 Closing and Next Steps
Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
45 min
September 14How To Be Untriggerable | Infinite Devotion Episode 149
How to Be Untriggerable | Infinite Devotion Episode 149

In this week’s episode Dawn and I dig into a word I've used for years, one that keeps coming back to me from listeners, especially men: untriggerable.

This episode is about what that word actually means to us, why most people go about it the wrong way, and what it's really taken for us to get to the other side of the things that used to set us off.

In This Episode
Why the word "untriggerable" resonates with so many people, and why nobody wants to feel triggered in the first place
Why we can't discipline our way into being untriggerable, and why effort and force actually work against us
The real definition: being untriggerable means encountering the thing that used to upset us and having it not upset us anymore, not forcing ourselves to not react
Why we have to let ourselves get triggered, fully and repeatedly, instead of trying to shut the reaction down
The four survival responses, fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and how each one has shown up differently for each of us
Why the fawn response is likely the most common one in men, and how it shows up as the "nice guy" pattern
Why being untriggerable is never about the moment we're in, it's about what happens next time
How resisting a trigger keeps it alive, and why trying to talk ourselves out of a feeling is the same suppression that created the pattern to begin with
Gabor Maté's idea that trauma is self-inflicted, meaning the event is one thing and the ongoing suffering we build on top of it is another
How single-sentence beliefs get written in childhood, before language even exists, and how life keeps handing us "evidence" for them
Why it can take until your late 30s or 40s for these patterns to run out of road
The different way triggers show up for men and women: women often protect the physical body, men often protect the heart, and why understanding that difference matters more than fully relating to it
Why "your triggers are gifts" is true even though it hasn't felt that way to us in the moment
Why this whole process isn't something we can do perfectionistically, and what it's actually felt like as it's started to change for us

Quotes Worth Sitting With
"You can't discipline yourself out of a reaction."
"Being untriggerable isn't about this time. Think about next time."
"Every attempt to talk yourself out of feeling what you're already feeling is the whole process just keeping itself alive."
"The trauma is all based in the reaction that we have to it, and the meanings that we make out of it."

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
49 min
September 07The Kid Nobody Picked: An Open Q&A With My Men's Group | Infinite Devotion Episode 148
The Kid Nobody Picked: An Open Q&A With My Men's Group | Infinite Devotion Episode 148

Every Wednesday morning I get on a call with the men inside Becoming a Dominant Man and answer their questions. This time I flipped it and told them to ask me anything.

They did. What came back was a mix of the light and the heavy, which is how life actually goes. My bike. My sex toys, or lack thereof. What it actually takes to prepare for a nomadic life. How you get a dog to the vet without an address. And the friend who died at 38 a few days before this call, and what that did to my thinking about power exchange, plans, and time.

The heaviest question was the one about what makes me different as a dominant man. The answer is nothing, except that I've been willing to sit down with the seven year old who got picked on all day and let him say what he never got to say. Including the part where I admitted, out loud, that I still half believe nobody likes me.

In this episode:
The bike I ride and why drop bars saved my shoulders
Best and worst part of RV life (same answer for both)
Whether constant novelty kills novelty
My two biggest challenges building a 24/7 power exchange, and why life never gets in the way of it
Ten years of preparation, six months of purging, and the storage unit I now regret
Why community on the road is still the problem I haven't solved
Escapees mail service, Banfield, Discount Tire, and the unglamorous logistics of no fixed address
Abundance as acceptance, Carl Jung, and the two year old running most men's lives
Why a sailboat would be a hundred times harder than an RV
The only honest answer to "where's your favorite place you've been"

More from Infinite Devotion:
Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog
Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
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Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book
53 min

About Infinite Devotion

From the publisher's feed

Most long-term relationships end up in the same place. Two good people who love each other, living like roommates, wondering where the fire went and whether it's ever coming back.