Infinite Devotion

Why can't a nice guy be a Dominant man? Seven lessons from No More Mr. Nice Guy, and what they changed in me.

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep118&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep118&utm_content=notes_top

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover is on the reading list for the men in Becoming a Dominant Man, because it takes a guy out of fixing mode and into introspection. In this episode I take the biggest lessons I've pulled from it and show how each nice guy pattern works against dominance, and what integrated dominance looks like instead. We start with covert contracts, the silent deals where you give so she'll give back, and why she can feel the hidden agenda even when you can't. Then approval seeking, the feeling of being in trouble when she's unhappy, and why your power can't live inside her reaction.

I talk about why your needs matter as much as hers, the difference between caretaking and caring, and why a Dominant man is kind and generous without always being nice. We get into using structure to manage her emotions, secret lives and hidden browser tabs, and why you need other men when everything you learned about being a man came from pleasing women. The last lesson ties it together: stop performing and be direct, so she gets a real chance at a no, and at an authentic yes. And I share what actually changed this in me: Dawn stopped tolerating it.

Becoming a Dominant Man is built on the 12 steps I mention here, starting with total responsibility for your own life and taking care of yourself first. No More Mr. Nice Guy is on its reading list, and every Wednesday you get a call with other men doing this same work. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep118&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Why does your dynamic keep slipping away the moment Monday arrives? Because it only lives in 2% of your week.

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep117&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires real
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep117&utm_content=notes_top

Most couples apply their D/s principles in scenes that add up to a few hours a week, then run the other 98% of their life on completely different rules. In this solo episode I show you why that 98% wins every time. She can't carry the masculine responsibility all day and flip a switch at night, and he can't be passive all day and feel powerful in the bedroom. Compartmentalizing feels safe because the stakes stay low, and that safety is what keeps you in the shallow end.

I walk through what integration means in practice: he owns final decisions and outcomes, she offers real input without covert control, and both of you stop sabotaging it. I talk about delegation versus abdication, how men hide behind "you handle it", and how women influence without it looking like control. Then I use the kids and family decisions as a concrete example, and share what happened when I took ownership of our home early in our dynamic.

Integration lives in the structure you build together: who decides, who owns outcomes, how her input reaches you, and how conflict gets handled. Structuring Your D/s Dynamic walks you through building that structure for your whole life, beyond the bedroom. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep117&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Lovense toys (affiliate): https://www.lovense.com/r/c5fglq

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Can you be a strong Dominant and still feel everything? I don't think you can be one without it.

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep116&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep116&utm_content=notes_top

So many men come into dominance believing it requires stoicism: unaffected, unreactive, stone faced. In this solo episode I come back to masculine sensitivity with a lot more experience behind me. Dominance requires solidity with openness, because you can't lead someone you can't feel. When your heart is armored she feels your absence, she can't submit into a void, and her tests are simply asking whether you are really here.

I explain sensitivity as attunement, the way a fine scale reads the smallest change, and why it's half of your masculine polarity. We get into why little boys shut it down to survive, the cruel irony that the thing that got hurt is the thing you need most, and why opening your heart is going to feel weak. I talk about how a closed heart turns D/s into control and even abuse, why you should never apply force to resistance, and what healing your heart actually involves. Then I walk through what it looks like when she comes home upset and you can simply be present with her.

Opening your heart without losing your spine is the core of Becoming a Dominant Man. It's the 12-step path I walked to become a man who can feel everything and stay solid. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep116&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Starting a Dom/sub dynamic, or trying to fix one that never quite clicked? These are the ten things I wish every couple knew before they began.

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep115&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep115&utm_content=notes_top

Dawn and I are seven years into our dynamic, and I've coached a lot of couples through the first steps of theirs. In this episode I share the ten lessons that matter most: why one of you will always want it more, why the submissive can never lead the Dominant into his role, why going slow gets you further, and why you need to build in time to simply be human together.

Then we go deeper. Why the real conversations have to happen long before any contract, why every rule needs a why, and why consent is really about access to authentic desire. If you can't both say no, what you have is codependency. I also talk about meeting resistance with curiosity, weaving the dynamic into your whole life, dating each other for good, and the one thing that matters more than any technique: just keep going.

If you want the whole path laid out, from the first conversation to a dynamic that keeps getting better, that's what Rapture is. It's our flagship course for couples, built from everything Dawn and I have lived. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep115&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Dawn is back to open the year with your questions about trust, surrender, sexuality, and what to do when your Dominant loses his edge.

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep114&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep114&utm_content=notes_top

We start 2026 the way we ended 2025, together. Dawn answers how long trust took to build, what to do when you only feel calm once he's okay, and how a fiercely independent woman can submit without losing herself. We each share what we'd do if we were single and looking for this kind of relationship, and why trying to manifest a partner keeps one away.

Then we get into vanilla decisions when you really want your way, how Dawn became so sexually open, and how to meet a man who has lost his edge without making him wrong. I answer the man who wants to convince his wife, and the answer is to stop trying to convince her. We also talk about the 73-orgasm session, Dawn's collar after 2,500 days, and why she stepped back from the podcast to live more of it.

Every answer in this episode comes back to the same thing: two people each doing their own work so the dynamic can deepen. Rapture is our flagship course for couples who want to live that way. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep114&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Dawn's collars come from Eternity Collars. Use code DEVOTION for a discount (affiliate link): https://www.eternitycollars.com?bg_ref=0iRJJDqHMs
Dawn of Desire, our adult content together: https://dawnofdesire.com

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

What did a year of full time travel, ego deaths and a growing business teach us? Dawn joins me to look back before our December break.

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep113&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep113&utm_content=notes_top

Dawn joins me again for the last episode of 2025, before I take December off from new episodes. We look back at a year that started with her stepping away from the business, and since then our following and income have doubled while she did less. I talk about doing it all myself, how feedback lands differently now that I don't need it for validation, and how life puts us through the curriculum before every course. Dawn shares what it took to meet herself this year, and we talk about why what you see of us is a highlight reel that never shows the ego deaths.

We walk through our year as full time nomads, from New Orleans and Southern hospitality to Texas, Sedona, Utah, Colorado and the Mars Desert Research Station. Dawn talks about walking toward what she was afraid of, and how stepping out of shame and into her sexuality has expanded her pleasure. I share getting to know my inner child, Dawn holding me through it, and why polarity works itself out when you get closer to what's real. We close with what's ahead: in-person events, a new project for men, and more of our OnlyFans, because it's the most fun thing we do.

This whole year came down to two people each doing their own work so the dynamic could keep deepening, including the weeks I was the one falling apart. Rapture is our flagship course for couples who want to live that way. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep113&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Dawn of Desire, our adult content together: https://dawnofdesire.com

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Why commit to one woman, how can I be Dominant without jealousy, and why can't she just let go? I take on your toughest questions.

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep112&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep112&utm_content=notes_top

I asked my Instagram followers for their toughest questions, and they delivered. In this unscripted solo episode I answer them on the fly, starting with what divine means to me and why spirituality doesn't have to be serious. A woman asks why a man would commit to one woman when easy sex is everywhere, and I share the time I seriously considered walking away from my marriage, and why I realized I'd have to face the same things in myself with anyone else. Then I take on the claim that I've lost all credibility as a Dominant by letting Dawn have an OnlyFans, and why jealousy and possessiveness are fear.

We get into how to decide whether to stay or leave, and why setting your blame down for a year tells you more than any deadline. I explain how I give so much without being drained, which started with putting myself first ten years ago and is the first two steps of Becoming a Dominant Man. For the woman who wants to submit and keeps resisting, I talk about believing the sky is green. And I answer how degradation play fits with open-hearted safety, whether Dawn could survive without me, and how to be a Dom when you're going through really hard times.

So much of this episode comes back to a man's inner work: owning your life, taking care of yourself first, and leading from overflow. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I walked to get there. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep112&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Dawn of Desire, our adult content together: https://dawnofdesire.com

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Everyone says they want polarity. Very few are ready for what it exposes.

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep111&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep111&utm_content=notes_top

People want the passion and intensity of a dominant submissive dynamic without having to change anything about themselves. In this solo episode I talk about the uncomfortable truths of polarity, starting with the big one: to your ego, a highly polarized relationship is going to feel like a toxic relationship. As the feminine becomes uncontained and the masculine becomes uncompromising, everything gets amplified, the attraction and the wounds alike, and I share why both of you will be occasionally terrified if you're really going deep.

For men, I get into why her surrender demands your integrity, why her tests are a search for safety, and why real leadership means being willing to be the villain in her story for a while. For women, I talk about how surrender feels like ego death, and how Dawn has said it felt like being at her own funeral. We also cover taking turns growing, the mirror getting sharper the deeper you go, why sameness kills the erotic charge, and the real love waiting on the other side.

Holding the intensity of real polarity, without running back to comfort, is the work Dawn and I have lived for years. Rapture is where we go deeper into desire, intimacy and polarity inside a D/s relationship. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep111&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Dominance starts with how I am with myself. These are the private practices I use to stay steady enough for Dawn to let go.

FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominance
https://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep110&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trust
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep110&utm_content=notes_top

This episode is about how I Dom myself: the things I do every day to stay connected to my own inner authority, so our life feels safe for Dawn to let go of control inside of. It all started with learning to say no. I share how, in December 2015, I looked at a year already spoken for and decided to win back my time, and how on January 2, 2016, right after the holiday, I quit everything I could. Then I walk you through my slow morning routine of coffee, meditation, visualization, journaling and a walk, and how fitness became a way I take care of myself.

We get into listening as the purest form of presence, and how listening to others taught me to hear myself before I get triggered. I talk about building competence as quiet dominance, being willing to look dumb as a beginner, and using calendars and lists so my mind is free for leadership. I read from the daily review I look at every morning and night, with my vision and values, and share how I'm building new habits one streak at a time. None of this is a checklist. It is how I've built a frame solid enough for her to surrender into.

Every practice in this episode comes back to the same thing: a man who takes care of himself and keeps his word to himself. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I walked to build that inner strength. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep110&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

What does hiding your kink really cost you, and what becomes possible when you stop?

FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamic
https://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep109&utm_content=notes_top

GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submission
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep109&utm_content=notes_top

After five and a half years of doing this full time, I've seen how much of the BDSM community lives in the shadows, convinced their lives would fall apart if anyone found out. Dawn and I chose to be seen from the start. I share the messages calling Dawn brave for wearing her collar in public, what happened when we put our faces on OnlyFans, and why almost everything you fear about being seen never actually happens. Then I look at where hiding starts: the childhood lesson that being yourself costs you love.

I talk about the difference between being safe and being small, the decades I kept my own desire hidden, and the real costs of secrecy: lost intimacy, lost integrity, and a life split in two. I get into how hiding keeps the whole culture stuck in shame, the selfie and hashtag that started everything we do, and why secrecy gives cover to predators while privacy remains a healthy boundary. Visibility, in whatever measure fits you, is an act of leadership, and courage always comes before safety.

Living your dynamic without shame starts inside your own relationship. Rapture is where Dawn and I teach the whole of it: intimacy, polarity and surrender, lived openly and lovingly. It's our flagship course for couples. Start it here:
https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep109&utm_content=notes_bridge

MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEY
Devotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submission
Every course: https://infinitedevotion.com/store
D/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coaching
The Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community
All free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources
Dawn of Desire, our adult content together: https://dawnofdesire.com
Dawn's collars come from Eternity Collars. Use code DEVOTION for a discount (affiliate link): https://www.eternitycollars.com?bg_ref=0iRJJDqHMs

LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion

Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book