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Main Ideas: People Pleasing

• People pleasers often focus more on how others perceive them rather than their own feelings towards others.
• Insecurity is one reason people try to win over others, even at the risk of inauthentic living.
• Constant pressure to meet others' expectations can create anxiety and stress.
• Unfulfilling relationships result from trying to win approval at the sacrifice of true compatibility.
• A lack of boundaries and loss of self-esteem are two potential outcomes of seeking external validation.

Four Steps to Shift Mindset

1. Noticing Opportunities: Being aware of people with similar interests that are  open to conversation.
2. Approaching with Authenticity: Engaging in genuine interactions based on shared interests.
3. Embracing Uniqueness: Recognizing it's okay to be different and connecting with those who appreciate individuality.
4. Seeking Meaningful Connections: Prioritizing quality over quantity, aiming for deeper, one-on-one interactions.

Reflection and Call to Action

• Reflect on current relationships: Can you be authentic or do you feel the need to compromise to please others?
• Embrace your uniqueness and seek connections with those who resonate with you.
• Shift from seeking approval to building self-confidence and enjoying meaningful connections.
• Announcement: Free "Stop People Pleasing" webinar on April 19th. Click here to register! https://maryannwalker-life.ck.page/0d3d222d7a

Conclusion

• Encouragement to prioritize authenticity and meaningful connections, letting go of the pressure to win everyone's approval.
• The goal isn't to please everyone, but to find those who genuinely resonate with you.

References

• Episode 2: You Are Not For Everyone, And That's OK.
• Episode 42: Part 3: When The Relationship is Complete/Relationship Circles  

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When you're in overwhelm it's easy for the brain to go into overwhelm.
This week as I was experiencing my own overwhelm my mind wanted to say, "This bad day is going to last forever." It also wants to ask, "WHY is this happening TO me?!"

Once you know and understand how your brain is going to react to overwhelm, you can course correct it.  Here are some tips & affirmations to help:

Today is Not Forever: It's easy to feel stuck in a bad day, but reminding myself that it's temporary helps.
Negativity Bias: Our brains love the "why me?" narrative, focusing on the negative. Shifting to "how is this happening for me?" can help.
Remain Solutions Focused: It's tempting to believe nothing good will come, but focusing on solutions helps us move forward.
Allow Space for Emotions: Feeling emotions without letting them halt action is crucial. We can acknowledge the difficulty while still progressing.

Here are some affirmations to practice during tough times:

Today is not forever.
I don't know how I will get through this, but I know I will get through this.
This sucks, but I'm moving forward.
I'm focusing on solutions.
I am resilient and will bounce back stronger than before.
Even in chaos, I can find peace.
Hard times come, but good things come, too.


Announcement: Free Workshop!
'm thrilled to announce a free online workshop on "How to Stop People Pleasing." Join me on April 19th on Zoom for a chance to interact, ask questions, and learn together. Click here to register now! https://maryannwalker-life.ck.page/0d3d222d7a

Conclusion:
Life's twists and turns can feel overwhelming, but remember, you're not alone in this rollercoaster. Keep practicing these affirmations and know that brighter days are ahead. 

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Welcome back to Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker! We're celebrating Episode 95 today, and I've got some exciting updates and a special announcement.

1. Celebrating Growth: Thank you to all our listeners! We've grown so much, reaching listeners in the US, UK, Canada, Belgium, Taiwan, Ireland, Australia, India, Peru, and beyond! Your support means everything. THANK YOU for being here and for sharing with your friends and family! 
2. What's Coming: Expect more engaging guests and deep conversations on future episodes. Get ready for a special 100th episode where I'll interview my daughters on raising children to be free from people-pleasing. Learn from my successes and failures as a people pleasing parent.
3. Reintroducing Myself: I serve the helpers, healers, and people pleasers. I've been through it all - from childcare to energy work - and I'm here to help you find balance and joy.
4. The Big Announcement: Join me for a live virtual workshop on "How to Stop People Pleasing" on April 19th, 2024! It's free, but you do need to register to save your seat. I'll be sharing  insights into why people pleasing isn't just about setting boundaries but also about managing emotions.

Register for my FREE online Stop People Pleasing workshop here: https://maryannwalker-life.ck.page/0d3d222d7a

Tell me about you and leave me a review here: https://forms.gle/8AyatTjeG3L6K9XW9

Listen to Episode 67: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/13868399

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As people pleasers, we are very good at showing up consistently for others. But we are less skilled when it comes to showing up consistently for ourselves. 

Take some time today to identify one way you want to consistently show up for yourself and find a fun way to track it!  

As we practice showing up consistently for ourselves, it benefits everyone because we aren't as depleted. 

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In this episode  we discuss the differences between communicating from a place of emotional calm versus approaching conversations with heightened emotional charge.

Examples of Emotionally Charged vs. Emotionally Calm Responses:

• Emotionally charged: "You're avoiding me to punish me."
• Emotional calm: "Hey, I'd love to get together, I miss you."
• Emotionally charged: "You must not like me very much."
• Emotional calm: "Hey, I haven't heard from you as much lately, what's been going on?"
• Emotionally charged: "Our friendship doesn't matter anymore."
• Emotional calm: "I noticed we haven't been spending much time together, is everything okay?"
• Emotionally charged: "I guess I can't count on you."
• Emotional calm: "I'm feeling overwhelmed with work, could use some support, are you available?"

Reasons for Emotionally Charged Responses:

1. Past Experiences: Previous negative experiences or traumas shaping interpretations.
2. Insecurity: Low self-esteem leading to negative interpretations.
3. Lack of Communication Skills: Not having the skills to communicate effectively.
4. Projection: Projecting fears or insecurities onto others.
5. Defense Mechanisms: Becoming defensive to protect ego.
6. Emotional Triggers: Strong reactions based on past experiences.
7. Cognitive Bias: Seeking and interpreting information to confirm existing beliefs.

The episode emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation, pointing out that it ultimately boils down to our ability to manage our emotions in order to communicate effectively. Consider instances in your life where emotional regulation might be a challenge, particularly in relationships. By recognizing these patterns, individuals can strive to approach conversations from a place of emotional calm, leading to more constructive dialogue and healthier relationships.

Looking for more support?  Come and work with me! Click here to apply now

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Today I share the story of two monks. Both had taken a vow to not touch a woman, yet they found a woman in need of help crossing a river. The older and wiser monk carried her across. The younger younger monk became angry and accusatory towards the senior monk. "We took a vow not to touch a woman!" The older monk replied, "I left her by the river. Why are you still choosing to carry her?"

So often we continue to hold onto things, possibly even ruminating on them, thinking this is productive. Today, I encourage you to leave it behind. Let it be. Leave it by the  side of the river.

To read the full article, click here.
To work work with me, click here.
To connect with me on my other platforms, click here. 

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Are you telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in your relationship?

Comment like:
 "I don't like your boyfriend"
"You abandoned me at the party"
& "You are so inconsiderate"

Might feel like you're telling the truth, but these statements are actually partial truths.

This week we explore how to be more truthful and authentic in relationship by increasing our own emotional maturity, identifying ALL that is coming up for us, and communicating in a way that owns your experience without defensiveness.

Are you looking for support when it comes to identifying what your whole truth us? Apply to work with me now by going to www.maryannwalker.life  

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Do you struggle to say no?  The desire to help comes from a good place. But sometimes, saying yes can lead to resentment or feeling taken for granted.

Learning to identify the difference between urgency & an emergency can help.

Here are three ways to tell the difference:

Urgency: It is time sensitive, but the consequences of not taking immediate action are mild.
Emergency: It is time sensitive and consequences of not taking immediate action are severe.

Urgency: The consequences of it not being addressed include some inconvenience.
Emergency: The consequences of it not being addressed include death or significant injury to self or others.

Urgency: The problem could have been prevented with proper planning.
Emergency: The problem could not have been prevented or planned for.

Want to learn more? Like, follow, and come and listen to episode 84, Saying YES and Saying NO: The Law of Opposites, on my podcast, Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker. Watch or listen on your favorite platform now.

Want to listen to episode 84?  Click here: Saying YES and saying NO: The Law of Opposites.

Want to work with me or follow me on my other platforms?  Click here! 

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Today's episode focuses on a simple yet powerful way to increase your personal vibration and zest for life. It's about identifying one thing to stop doing and one thing to start doing now.

Main Points:

1. Stop Scrolling & Start Connecting:
   • Scrolling can feel productive, but it often keeps us from important tasks.
   • Start filling the real need that scrolling satisfies, like calling friends or working on neglected projects.
2. Stop Eating Junk & Start Fueling Your Body:
   • Recognize how certain foods affect your body.
   • Consider replacing a meal with a nutritious smoothie.
3. Stop Ruminating & Start Focusing on Control:
   • Ruminating often focuses on things beyond our control.
   • Shift focus to things within your control to regain peace.
4. Stop Sitting Around & Start Moving:
   • Healthy movement is crucial, especially with age.
   • Incorporate daily exercise to maintain physical health.
5. Stop Draining Relationships & Start Investing in Fulfilling Relationships:
   • Spend more time with those who uplift and energize.
   • Recognize when a relationship is one-sided and take breaks when needed.
6. Stop Numbing & Start Processing:
   • Numbing behaviors like excessive TV or scrolling can hinder true rest.
   • Find activities that that help you to process rather than numb your emotions.
7. Stop Placating & Start Stating Boundaries:
   • Avoid agreeing to things just to please others.
   • Practice setting boundaries for more sustainable relationships.
8. Stop People Pleasing & Start Saying Yes to Yourself:
   • Saying yes to everything can lead to burnout and resentment.
   • Learn to say no when necessary to maintain balance and peace.
9. Stop Fake Resting & Start True Resting:
   • Identify fake resting behaviors like staying in pajamas while working.
   • Discover what truly rejuvenates you, whether it's a hobby or socializing.
10. Stop Negative Self-Talk & Start Positive Affirmations:
    • Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations.
    • Practice playful self-interactions, like winking or giving yourself a high five.

Choose one of these areas to focus on and see how it impacts your life. Share your progress on social media and consider seeking coaching for deeper transformation. Here's to a week of intentional living and positive changes!

Click here to listen to my episode on Boundaries
Click here to listen to my episode on the 7 Types of Rest
Click here to apply to work with me!

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Often times when we are triggered and find ourselves emotionally reactive, it's because we are making it mean something about us. 

For example, maybe your friend didn't receive your experience or follow your advice, and you're making it mean your experience doesn't hold value. 

Or maybe your partner doesn't want to do the activity you want to do and you're making it mean that they don't care about you or you are no longer compatible. 

Or maybe someone makes an "ugly face" and you assume it was meant for you and the don't like you. 

But may it's not about you. 

Maybe your friend wants to figure things out on her own. 

Maybe your partner likes different things, and that's ok. 

Maybe they weren't making a face at you, but smelled something stinky. 

Maybe it has nothing to do with you.