The summer holidays are a time when the family is spending more time together, so how best to have some of those tricky conversations with your teenager. Collett Smart is a psychologist, teacher and parent of three children. She has been working with teenagers for about 20 years and thinks they are brilliant. In her new book, "They'll be Okay: 15 Conversations to Help Your Child Through Troubled Times." she has some tips and tricks to help parents navigate their way positively through the teenage years.

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Auckland couple Peter and Sandra Altman have been involved in the Toughlove organisation for 25 years, focussing on providing ongoing support for parents and teenagers going through difficult times. They have a checklist to run through to help parents and teens navigate a harmonious Christmas period and the long summer ahead. And the Altmans say if you're at the end of your tether through unacceptable teen behaviour, give TOUGHLOVE a call (on 0800 868 445).

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Psychologist Sarb Johal talks with Kathryn about when kids have to move home. It can be for a variety of reasons, and stability is the ideal for better outcomes. How does it affect the relationship between parents and children, and what support do kids need to make relationships when they change school as well as maintaining old friendships?

Psychologist Sarb Johal talks with Kathryn about when kids have to move home. It can be for a variety of reasons, and stability is the ideal for better outcomes.

How does it affect the relationship between parents and children, and what support do kids need to make relationships when they change school as well as maintaining old friendships?

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Educator Joseph Driessen on how to get your children to do the right thing with a 5 step method. This will help the family who has a child who always keeps everyone waiting because they are disorganised, or the whanau trying to convince their teenage to do some homework.

As a parent, getting into a screaming match just shows the kids you're not in control - so educator Joseph Driessen has five steps to calmly reason unruly children into changing their behaviour.

Driessen, a former principal and speaker at educational conferences, specialises in boys' education and is based in New Zealand.

He tells Nine to Noon's Kathryn Ryan tone, composure and persistence is key to getting a child into a mindset to actually make a difference.

"In some ways, a child is like an iceberg. Over the surface is behaviour, and what's beneath is a very complex set of needs or disappointments or sadnesses, or whatever it is.

"Your calmness or your kindness goes underneath the iceberg and it says, really, 'I care for you, I love you, I'm your parent and I'm in charge of this household but I'm on your side'.

"At the end of this talk I'm going to talk about what if they dig in their heels and don't do it at all, but in fact many children are very rational and very amenable if they're not anxious and under emotional stress."

He uses two examples he says are fairly common in a lot of families: a seven-year-old who takes a long time to get ready for school in the morning and a 15-year-old who is playing computer games and refusing to do homework and chores or interact with family.

He stresses, however, that this approach can work with people of all ages - and not just children.

Step 1: Planning and preparation

He says the first step is to think about what you want to achieve, and accept that as the adult it's your responsibility to change their pattern of behaviour.

"For the adult to sit down by themselves or with their partner or a friend; have a reflection about 'how can I assert my leadership here and what have I done in the past which hasn't worked'," Driessen says.

"The idea is that before you launch in, you have some idea of what you want to achieve and where you want to go with this child. So you come from a leadership position which is pretty calm, which is reflective.

"And you have some rational ideas: 'maybe there are some problems there, what am I trying to do?'

He says children will usually respond positively when an adult takes up the leadership role in the family in a mature and reasonable way…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

One working mother's tips on where to cut corners. Learn to live with chaos is advice Australian journalist, Wendy Tuohy wishes she had believed! The Melbourne mother-of-three and editor of Fairfax's Daily Life has recently written a piece on what she has learned during her 14 years as a working mum, juggling job demands, home-life and children's after school activities.

It's time for parents to step back, choose how they spend their - and their children's - time, and stare down competitive parent-shaming, an Australian journalist says.

Wendy Tuohy Melbourne mother-of-three and editor of Fairfax's Daily Life has recently written a piece on what she has learned during her 14 years as a working mum, juggling job demands, home-life and children's after school activities.

Tuohy's column Learn to live with chaos is based on her experiences as a mother who tried to do it all.

"You just live with a drum beat at the front of your mind, 'what have I got to do next'; 'what have I forgotten'; 'oh bloody hell, I'm late for this'; 'where's that form'; 'oh! the doctor'; 'oh! the dentist'.

"I just assumed I had to do it all. I didn't want to, I wanted less responsibility but didn't know how to delegate in the end."

She says her quality of life and resilience were severely tested.

"You can end up living your days feeling like there's three sabre-toothed tigers right behind you and you feel their hot breath."

The boom in so-called enrichment activities for children has only made a stressful job worse, she says.

"It's okay to miss some of the school stuff. The commitments for one kid now, even in kinder, are much, much more than they were in our day.

"I barely remember my parents going to the school and I was quite happy with that."

Pick your attendance battles

"I was mother shamed by another mother for not attending the unveiling of the school's new building. The idea was the school was happy with this. We'd all helped pay for it - so we'd done our bit really - but they wanted all the parents walked around during work hours by their kid and shown the expensive building.

"I don't think that's a formative experience for my child and she walked around with her friend's mum. Someone noticed I wasn't there and said 'oh, I see your daughter's face when you miss these things'.

Such comments can "leave a mark on your soul, even when they shouldn't," she says.

Feeding the troops…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Once your baby's on the move, the easiest way to identify potential hazards around the house is to do a video tour with your phone held at knee height, says Nicola Woollaston, author of the new book Nurturing Your Baby's Potential. Nicola Woollaston is a mother of four, trained early childhood educator and the team leader of Starship Hospital's play specialists. She tells Kathryn Ryan she meets many people who have had little contact with babies when they become parents themselves and her book offers some advice.

Once your baby's on the move, the easiest way to identify potential hazards around the house is to do a video tour with your phone held at knee height, says Nicola Woollaston, author of the new book Nurturing Your Baby's Potential.

"You get a very different perspective of what's actually accessible and available."

Nicola Woollaston is a mother of four, trained early childhood educator and the team leader of Starship Hospital's play specialists.

She tells Kathryn Ryan she meets many people who have had little contact with babies when they become parents themselves.

The image many people have of a baby is a three to six-month-old, Woollaston says - the age where babies are delightful, responsive and often free and easy with laughs and smiles.

However, a newborn is quite a different creature and parenting one can feel like a seemingly endless job of managing seemingly endless crying.

Extended family is often scattered around these days, so new parents often have less family support available than previous generations had, Woollaston says.

New parents who are competent and confident in their work life can some sometimes struggle the most with not being able to "figure out" how to put an end to their baby's crying, she says.

"People get a bit concerned - 'if I leave my baby crying they're getting awash in stress chemicals and it's really going to damage their brain'."

While not responding to a baby's cries repeatedly over long periods can be harmful, some crying is normal and simply the baby's way of communicating, Woollaston says.

She recommends investigating the situation thoroughly before worry can set in.

"Are they overtired? Are they hungry? When was the last time they were fed? Are they wet? Are they uncomfortable? Too hot? Too cold?"

Playing with a baby will help them build trust in their environment, she says.

"Down the track, it gives them the confidence to move slightly away from you and do a bit of exploring on their own."

Reading to a baby - paying joint attention to a shared point of reference - will also help foster their communication skills…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

How much sleep do teenagers really need and why do they feel the urge to stay up so late? Teenagers need more sleep than adults and their circadian rhythms are actually different, says parenting expert Nathan Wallis. On average, a teenager's body clock moves forward around two hours so, effectively, we can think of Kiwi teens as operating on Sydney time - "they're two to three hours out from the rest of us." He gives parents some tips.

How much sleep do teenagers really need and why do they feel the urge to stay up so late?

Teenagers need more sleep than adults and their circadian rhythms are actually different, says parenting expert Nathan Wallis.

On average, a teenager's body clock moves forward around two hours so, effectively, we can think of Kiwi teens as operating on Sydney time - "they're two to three hours out from the rest of us."

Wallis gives a couple of examples of how different hormone levels affect teenage body clocks.

"If your kid used to have enough melatonin to fall asleep at 11pm - they don't have that same amount until 1am.

"If they don't have enough cortisol to wake them up in the morning at 730am - they don't have that same amount until 9:30am."

As a result, teenagers aren't the most receptive to learning first thing in the morning, and often more wakeful and productive when they're heading home from school between 3pm and 5pm, he says.

Some schools overseas start the school day later.

In New Zealand, Wellington High School did a trial in which students could choose an 11-to-5 school day instead of a 9-to-3 school day and had some good results, Wallis says.

In general, teenagers need more sleep than adults, so don't worry that your teen sleeping more is a sign they're dropping out of life.

"How you're sleeping as a teenager has no relation to your work ethic as an adult."

Is "catching up on sleep" in the weekend effective?

Research says this won't work long-term, but you could conceivably "catch up on sleep" you've missed in the second half of the week on a Sunday, Wallis says.

If your teenager seems to be repeatedly hiding out in their bedroom as an escape from people and/or life, this could be a sign of depression so investigate that, he says.

Teenagers usually aren't able to manage their own circadian rhythms, Wallis says, and those with bedtimes regulated by their parents generally do better.

Explaining to them why they need to get sleep and nagging them to go to sleep won't be effective - instead, focus on helping them wind down in the evenings so they'll have enough energy to get up for school the next day, he says…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Currently, 6,000 New Zealand kids are getting homeschooled, not including those enrolled at the correspondence school Te Aho o Te Kura Pounamu. Educating a child at home can allow a parent to "light a fire in their hearts and minds" without pressure or competition, says Siobhan Porter, who has homeschooled all five of her kids. Siobhan is the director of Auckland Home Educators - a support and advocacy group for homeschoolers. She and education consultant Natalie Donaldson - who has also homeschooled five kids - talk to Kathryn Ryan about their experience.

Currently, 6,000 New Zealand kids are getting homeschooled, not including those enrolled at the correspondence school Te Aho o Te Kura Pounamu.

Educating a child at home can allow a parent to "light a fire in their hearts and minds" without pressure or competition, says Siobhan Porter, who has homeschooled all five of her kids.

Siobhan is the director of Auckland Home Educators - a support and advocacy group for homeschoolers.

She and education consultant Natalie Donaldson - who has also homeschooled five kids - talk to Kathryn Ryan about their experience.

Siobhan Porter had a private school education herself and every advantage, she says.

She hadn't been exposed to home education at all when she became a mother. (Her children now range in age from 6 to 19.)

"When my oldest was nearly five, I thought 'actually I don't really want school to interrupt this lovely thing we've got happening here'."

Siobhan met with some other people who were homeschooling and decided to give it a go.

"I thought 'surely it can't be too hard to teach a child to read. I can read myself, I'm not trained to do this but I think I could find out."

Every child learns differently and as a parent, you have a lot of intuition about what is best for your own child, she says.

"When you can sit alongside your child and connect with them, it's a wonderful process of them learning and you learning alongside them.

"You're really lighting a fire in their hearts and minds and helping them to follow their passions.

"You can do that in a really thorough and unhurried way when you're homeschooling without all that pressure and competition.

"They do this great learning but they still have heaps of time to play, explore, create and imagine."

Natalie, whose kids now range in age between 11 and 19, also had no intention of educating her kids at home until it became clear her 5-year-old son was going to find school a big challenge…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Educationalist, Frances Adlam with tips for parents on how to help their children love reading and writing. Her book Raise Your Child to Read and Write - aims to give caregivers strategies to engage pre-schoolers and primary school entrants to get a good start to a lifetime of reading. Simple things help, including thinking about how your talk to children and encouraging them to scribble, draw and paint, these are all building blocks which lead to writing.

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Having a child who turns their nose up at a variety of foods, which often includes fruit and vegetables, can be a huge stress for parents trying to give their child a balanced diet. How can you tell whether it's a fussy eating phase or a restricted eating problem? And if it persists how and where do you seek help? We get some advice from Massey University nutrition lecturer Dr Cathryn Conlon and Massey University speech and language clinician Emily Jones, who runs the ACTIVEating Clinic which treats children with restrictive eating.

Having a child who turns their nose up at a variety of foods, which often includes fruit and vegetables, can be a huge stress for parents trying to give their child a balanced diet.

How can you tell whether it's a fussy eating phase or a restricted eating problem? And if it persists how and where do you seek help?

We get some advice from Massey University nutrition lecturer Dr Cathryn Conlon and Massey University speech and language clinician Emily Jones, who runs the ACTIVEating Clinic which treats children with restrictive eating.

Fussy eating is something most parents have to face at some point, Conlon says.

"It's a really common developmental stage about one in three children are probably going to face some kind of food restriction or food refusal at some point, so there isn't really one characteristic that defines a fussy eater or a restrictive eater."

She is more concerned about the variety of food a child eats.

"For a normal fussy eater, as long as they are having a variety of foods so they get all the nutrients they require you can be assured."

But children who restrict a number of foods, or a whole food group such as vegetables and fruit or dairy, are more of a cause for concern, she says.

Jones says another red flag is when a child has less than 20 base foods in their diet.

"If they were restricting whole food groups or food textures or having trouble with hard-to-chew foods ... or had more immature eating skills."

Conlon says the age range at which children tend to have the most problems is between 18 months and 3 years.

A problem persisting beyond that is possibly a sign that a child is having difficulty.

By grouping foods into carbs, vegetables, proteins, etc parents can see how many base foods a child is or isn't eating, they say.

"Sometimes what you'll see is they have a lot of those carb foods; so breads and crackers and things like that, but are missing proteins and missing fruit and veg," Jones says.

Conlon says vegetables are the most common hard-to-eat food, along with meat if it's not been processed…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details