Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

By Casey O'RoartySociety & Culture Education Relationships Parenting Kids & Family

Favorites
153
Followers
Typical duration
49 min
per episode

Based on Podcast App listening data

Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens episodes

March 10, 2020Eps 224: SOLO - Creating mindfulness in our romantic partnerships
Today is a solo show – woop woop!
Being in a mindful relationship…
What is mindfulness?
Why is it important on the parenting journey?
Why is this important in life?
I went to a mindful couples workshop with my husband this weekend
Why did we go?
Morning of…
How I did my work when it was hard to do
Modeling setting intention
Letting go of being attached to the experience of my husband
Why this is relevant to our kids and parenting and life
Setting the context with how I showed up and what I was willing to own
Offering lots of loving support, acknowledgement, options
While also leaning in and inviting vulnerability – speaking into the elephants in the room, making things explicit
Learning processes for deeper listening and communication
SO MUCH like PD
Connect before correct/redirect
Positive Intent
Looking for solutions not blame
The iceberg
Process over product –
Relationship is everything!!!
Took the trainer aside to share….
One of the processes reminded me so much of the Family Meeting, but instead of using the model for the family, you use it as a couple.
Safe space for venting about a few things that rubbed you wrong
A useful place for problem solving
I would add time to celebrate each other before getting into it….
One of our “issues” is talking about money – ben makes most of it, I budget and try to save it. This is a hard one for us to discuss without having clear goals that are the boss.
Come together to have a vision
What is this going to take
Weekly check ins on how we are doing
I also have some amazing clients that are such an inspiration to me.
Super intentional with checking in on relationship
Super articulate in how they are celebrating each other
20 years later…. It takes work
Awareness that we are in an ebb
Willingness to do something about it
Kristen Bell – “I will be with Dax on the porch at 80” – we can get through anything
So yeah, tend to your relationships – we talk so much about our relationship with our teens and younger kids here – equally if not more important is our relationship with our partners.
Hope you are feeling inspired!!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
38 min
March 03, 2020Eps 223: Decolonizing Parenting With Yolanda Williams
Today’s guest is Yolanda Williams. Conscious parenting is really close to her heart, and she knows what it feels like to grow up without a voice and with violence as a consequence. Raising a black child in a world filled with white supremacy can seem insurmountable at times but she firmly believes that conscious parenting is activism against racism. Yolanda is raising a carefree child to be her authentic self, unafraid to use her voice to stand up to oppression with unshakable confidence and self love. Yolanda wants to help teach other parents to do the same. She's the co founder of Conscious Parenting Time, whose mission it is to decolonize minds by teaching the art of conscious parenting to raise intellectually spiritually and socially free black children. She's also the host of Parenting Decolonized, a podcast on a mission to shine the light on how colonization has impacted the black family structure and what to do about it. Join us!

"I'm not here to make anybody else feel comfortable with the truth of racism, but it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.”
“If I feel like you are genuinely asking a question and I don't feel like you're trying to center yourself when you ask this question, I will politely answer it. But my job is not to educate white people on racism. That's not the job of any person of color.“
“Being White and Whiteness are two separate things. I don't think people really realize that because whiteness is a construct, just like race is.”
“Our culture does judge black parents more harshly. Period.”
“Our kids may already be targeted just because of their race, nothing that you can do is going to stop a bad police officer or a bad teacher or someone who is just a racist from being that person.”
“I'm not going to change who I am to make white people comfortable.”
What you’ll hear in this episode:
The difference between being White and Whiteness
How the Black parenting experience is different
The subtle and not so subtle ways that parenting has been colonized
Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome
The risks and challenges that come with parenting from a place of fear
Parenting a Black child as a Black person vs as a White person
Authoritarian parenting attitudes and dignity double-binds
Belonging and significance in the face of racism
Internalized racism - what it is and what it looks like
How early unconscious biases show up in education
Cultural pride as a way to insulate against racism
Curating an environment that centres cultural pride
The importance of Black history
Being intentional about decolonization
The Black Panther and their policy

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?
You know, when I think of joyful courage it makes me think of this quote by Audrey Lord and it's like the basis for everything I do. She said, "Raising black children, female and male in the mouth of a racist, sexist suicidal dragon is perilous and chancy. If they cannot love and resist at the same time, they will probably not survive." So that's like love and resistance. Yes, what joyful courage is for me. I mean, I have to have courage to change the status quo. And I have to model what joy and unconditional love looks like inside my home. Because home is where security and safety is and love. And as scary as being a black parent is sometimes I can't tell you how much joy it gives me to be raising my daughter in this revolutionary way and to watch her grow into an amazing black woman. Like, it gives me a lot of joy. I love that.

Resources:
Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome
Amazon Prime documentaries by Henry Louis Gates, Jr.

Where to find Yolanda:
Parenting Decolonized Podcast
Parenting Decolonized Facebook Page
Conscious Parenting Time Facebook Page
@cptime Instagram

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
52 min
February 25, 2020Eps 222: SOLO SHOW - how's the connection at your house?
Hey all!
Today is a solo show… I am so honored to be here with you.
Today is all about connection and relationship (again, I know, but really, it’s what’s up).
Broken record in the conversations I am having in the teen group as well as the super fam
Relationship relationship relationship
Not as a “strategy”
When relationship is offer, disconnection si present, its like we are on unstable ground
Belonging and significance
Being seen and heard
Feeling valued/ Feeling safe– routines/agreements/family meetings
At their heart they are a connection activity

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
42 min
February 18, 2020Eps 221: Sarah Rosensweet talks Positive Parenting and letting go during the teen years
My guest today is Sarah Rosensweet.
Sarah is a Peaceful Parenting leader and coach. Peaceful parenting is an approach that uses kind, firm limits with lots of empathy. Parents are in charge but give their kids the support they need to meet their expectations. She emphasizes connection and supports parents in prioritizing relationship with our kids.
Sarah knows that our relationship is the most effective way we can influence our kids.
Sarah and I spend time today discussing some of the biggest take-aways from The Self Driven Child – a powerful resource written by William Stixrud and Ned Johnson.
What you’ll here on this episode:
What has changed for Sarah as a coach as her kids have entered the teen years
The Self Driven Child
There can only be one driver on the train – that is your child
We need to manage our own parental anxiety
We get to trust that our children know what they need
Sarah shares a personal story about her son and his report card and how she used what she learned from the Self Driven Child
Our response matters
Allowing our kids to make decisions about their own life
Letting our own limited yet intense beliefs about all the possibilities get in the way
“We care so much that they don’t have to.”
We have to trust our kids to learn from all of their choices
It’s hard to give up the drivers seat
Resiliency comes from surviving difficult things
Our teens are moving with a limited bank of experiences
Using curiosity is powerful and ask our teens if they want to hear our opinion
We can be involved, without controlling their every move
The sweet spot
Middle ground for encouraging teens to nurture relationship
Stay Connected to Your Teenager by Michael Riera
Loosening up the limits
“It’s your call…”
Casey shares her story about her teen daughter dropping out of school
The number one thing teens need from their parents….
Where to find Sarah:
Website | Facebook | Peaceful Parenting with Teenagers

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
54 min
February 11, 2020Eps 220: SOLO SHOW digging into strategies for creating space for emotional safety for your teens
Today is a solos show - YAY!
Coming off of the mental health mini summit… I am reminded time and time again about the importance of creating an environment that support our kids-teens in being who they are. A space that feels emotionally safe.
We hold the container, we set the tone, right?
Before we can do that we really need to decide what it is that we want to create?
Speaking with clients about this, before a big conversation or event, I will aks them, well, what is it you want to create? What is most important for you that your child receives?
Strategies for creating a home environment that nurtures safety
Routines/Consistency/dependable structure
Asking permission/Being curious
Being available/Non judgmental
Validate their experience
Own your stuff
Trust that your kids ARE thinking about what is best for them
Power of perspective - 3 bs and the outside observer, remembering the iceberg
Therapy -
One of the things that has been really useful for me lately that I am digging into through therapy is identifying key times in my life where I felt lost, isolated, and really pulled away from my parents…. And if I could go back that that girl to tell her what she needs to hear…. Some of what has come up has been:
This must be really hard, it must feel really confusingYou are ok just as you are, you are enough and worthy of loveI am here for you

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
39 min
February 04, 2020Eps 219: Being a Shameless Mom with Sara Dean
I am so excited to welcome Sara Dean to the Joyful Courage Podcast. Sara is the creator and host of the Shameless Mom Academy Podcast, a top rated podcast with over 2 million downloads. Her biggest passion is helping women own their space. After enduring a long infertility journey, and then a full blown identity crises following the birth of her son, Sara took her background in psychology/health/ wellness and rebuilt her identity – one step at a time. Today, Sara motivates and inspires women to stop shrinking and start growing in every aspect of their lives. She is on a mission to inspire women and moms, in particular, to live bigger, bolder, braver #everydamnday.
"I realized over time that I wanted to be having conversations about helping women take up space, rather than always trying to shrink in the space they existed in.”
“Perfect is paralyzing.”
“If you're in perfectionism, there's no momentum.”
“We need to give ourselves permission to feel in big ways and to be vulnerable with those feelings.”
“It's okay to cry, but suffering in silence is the most surefire way to destroy yourself.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:
The role of mindset
Outcome versus process goals
Moms and worthiness
Why perfect sucks
Perfectionism, procrastination and high achieving women
How perfectionism robs you of momentum
Doing B- work
The role of routine and structure
Creating mental freedom
Giving ourselves permission to feel
Intuition and finding the lessons in the chaos
Learning to sit in discomfort
Finding gratitude in hard moments and hard phases
The universality of challenges and trauma
Why women suffer in silence

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
49 min
January 28, 2020Eps 218: SOLO SHOW Revisiting the power of the 3Bs
SOLO SHOW
Interviewed for the positive parenting conference by Sumitha Bhandarkar from afineparent.com and she wanted to interview me about my book – fun to remember that I wrote a book!
Deep dove into the three Bs.
Then last night I had my first of 6 live parenting classes here in Bellingham.
Being vs doing
Theory, belonging and significance
Power of perceptions
Humans are social beings – everything in the context of relationship
Iceberg
why is it important to keep in mind?
HALT
Problem we see is a solution/response to a problem we don’t know about
Mistaken beliefs about self/others/world
Why is it hard to remember to consider the iceberg?
BECAUSE WE ARE USUALLY PISSED ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING AT THE TIP!!
WE HAVE OUR OWN ICEBERGS!!
At the tip of our iceberg is our emotional/instinctive response to the behavior we are seeing right?
And what is under the surface?????
HALT!!
Feelings of defeat and beat up about mistakes we made…
Conditioning/baggage from our own experiences
Ahhhhh – so many icebergs!!
So we are wired to connect…. And remember what Dan and Tina shared in EPS 215 --- the four s’s – seen, safe, soothed, secure. THIS IS WHAT OUR KIDS NEED, and isn’t it what we need too?
We get to learn to offer this up to ourselves
Back to the three Bs – this is one tool to support us in creating the four S’s for ourselves, so that we can then offer them up for our kids – show up better, attuned, connected, loving.
Lets play with the 3 Bs…. I am going to guide you through them, while also explaining deeper the purpose and power of each B….
Breath
The breath is an tool that directly effects the nervous system – and when we are in fight or flight, you can bet our nervous system is working overtime -rapid heart beat, tension, we are full of adrenaline…
Attending to breath allows for a settling in…. a slowing down… an opening….
Body
Riding the breath into the body in search of any leftover tension…. Allow the breath to soften the body, the small muscles in the face, the neck, the shoulders….
We want to soften the body, open the body so that we can soften and open the mind….
Balcony
Once you feel yourself soften, find your balcony seat, imagine that you can lift up and out of your body and look down at your experience, as if you are watching a show from a balcony seat – you are accessing your outside observer. The part of yourself that is separate from your experience, knowing that you are having an experience…
From this place, this outside observer place, look at yourself through the lens of compassion, through the lens of love…. What is happening under your iceberg? Can you be a nonjudgmental observer? What happens when you get curious about your experience….?
Breath body balcony – the 3 Bs.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
34 min
January 21, 2020Eps 217: Exploring Collaborative Emotion Processing with Alyssa Blask Campbell
Today’s guest is Alyssa Blask Campbell. Alyssa has her Master's of Education in Early Childhood. She is a leading expert in emotional development speaking to people around the world. She is a podcast host for Voices of Your Village and the CEO of Seed and Sew. Alyssa has been featured As an emotional development expert and publications such as the Washington Post, Kids VT and Family Education. After co creating the CEP method, which she's going to tell us all about, she researched it across the US and co authored a book on it scheduled for publication next year. Alyssa is deeply passionate about building emotional intelligence in children, stating that it's never too early or too late to start, thank goodness. Alyssa shows up as approachable and welcomes people into her village to get support at all ages and stages shame free. Join us!

"In order to be able to do that social piece, the kindness, the respect the empathy, the social awareness components, we have to know how to navigate the self awareness and self regulation first.”
“Sometimes times it's really just getting down to what is our feeling about what they're feeling or experiencing.”
“I believe that it's our job to find the calm, not their job to get calm for us.”
“It's safe for me to feel this because it's not going to last forever.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:
The difference between social and emotional development
The role of self awareness and self regulation
Coping mechanisms versus coping strategies
The five phases of emotion processing
Coping mechanisms as numbing agents
Fine motor activities as processing tools
Changing habits one at a time
Reflective Practice - what it is and how it works
Finding the calm for your kids
Mirror Neurons and the neurology of calm
Addressing bias as a step in the parenting education journey
Taking care of your physical health so you can self-regulate
Allowing yourself to feel
Recognizing feelings
Empathizing and connecting vs noticing
Helping your kids feel felt
Finding security in your feeling
Yale research on anxiety in kids
The relationship between anxiety and fear
Problem solving and conflict resolution
Identifying when you’re ready for problem solving
What makes Voices of Your Village Podcast awesome

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
1 hr
January 21, 2020Eps 217: Exploring Collaborative Emotion Processing with Alyssa Blask Campbell
Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK is available!! I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again. Follow Joyful Courage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

::::

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook groups:
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens

::::

Today’s guest is Alyssa Blask Campbell. Alyssa has her Master's of Education in Early Childhood. She is a leading expert in emotional development speaking to people around the world. She is a podcast host for Voices of Your Village and the CEO of Seed and Sew. Alyssa has been featured As an emotional development expert and publications such as the Washington Post, Kids VT and Family Education. After co creating the CEP method, which she's going to tell us all about, she researched it across the US and co authored a book on it scheduled for publication next year. Alyssa is deeply passionate about building emotional intelligence in children, stating that it's never too early or too late to start, thank goodness. Alyssa shows up as approachable and welcomes people into her village to get support at all ages and stages shame free. Join us!

"In order to be able to do that social piece, the kindness, the respect the empathy, the social awareness components, we have to know how to navigate the self awareness and self regulation first.”

“Sometimes times it's really just getting down to what is our feeling about what they're feeling or experiencing.”

“I believe that it's our job to find the calm, not their job to get calm for us.”

“It's safe for me to feel this because it's not going to last forever.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:

The difference between social and emotional development

The role of self awareness and self regulation

Coping mechanisms versus coping strategies

The five phases of emotion processing

Coping mechanisms as numbing agents

Fine motor activities as processing tools

Changing habits one at a time

Reflective Practice - what it is and how it works

Finding the calm for your kids

Mirror Neurons and the neurology of calm

Addressing bias as a step in the parenting education journey

Taking care of your physical health so you can self-regulate

Allowing yourself to feel

Recognizing feelings

Empathizing and connecting vs noticing

Helping your kids feel felt

Finding security in your feeling

Yale research on anxiety in kids

The relationship between anxiety and fear

Problem solving and conflict resolution

Identifying when you’re ready for problem solving

What makes Voices of Your Village Podcast awesome

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

I think for me joyful courage is the ability to step in to the fear and the unknown. In that pursuit or desire of getting back to the calm, easy, joy, if you will, like when we have those tools to process the hard stuff, when we're courageous enough to do this work to build our self awareness and to put the mirror up to ourselves and not just to our kiddos. When we are courageous enough to do that, then we get to live with more joy and calm and peace.

Resources:

Free Emotional Coaching Guide

Where to find Alyssa:

Facebook

Instagram

Voices of Your Village Podcast

PATREON – Joyful Courage Super FAM

For $5/month Joyful Courage Super FAM patrons get to be a part of a sweet little private FB community where I show up every Monday for a Q and A, and beginning in January 2020, I will be showing up every FRIDAY to tease apart the weekly podcast episode. You want to be a part of this – it is a fabulous way to give back.

Go to www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage

:::::

GET THE BOOK!

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

list, if you haven’t already. Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you!!!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
57 min
January 14, 2020Eps 216: Solo Show - Transformation starts with us
Today is a solo show! I am sharing about what is happening in the Joyful Courage community these next few weeks:
Adolescent Mental Health Mini Summit
www.joyfulcourage.com/mhminisummit
Podcast Recap LIVES added to the Patreon community
www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage
Other topics that I am speaking into:
Resentment on the journey
Making self care happen
Being in choice
And making choices that allow us to let go
Being a model
Transformation starts with us
How are you showing up for your family??

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
39 min

About Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to the Joyful Courage Podcast - a place where parents of tweens and teens come to find inspiration, information and encouragement in the messy terrain of adolescence