Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

By The Language of Love

Language of Love is a podcast about love and intimacy in all its forms and the relationships that shape our lives. Hosted by renowned relationship therapist and bestselling author Dr. Laura Berman, th... more

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The podcast currently has 400 episodes available.

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Number 1: What We're Getting Wrong About Raising Boys and Girls with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
Something is happening to our children, and most of us are not paying close enough attention. The algorithm is reaching them. Predators are reaching them. Drugs are reaching them through the phones we thought were keeping them connected and safe. And for many parents, the first time they realize what is happening is when it is already too late. If you are a regular listener, you probably know how my son Sammy died. He bought a counterfeit pill laced with fentanyl from a dealer he met on Snapchat. I thought I had done everything I could to keep my home safe. I never imagined that a drug dealer could reach my son through his phone. But that is the reality parents are facing now. You may be doing everything you can. Monitoring social media. Limiting screen time. Talking to your kids about strangers, drugs, and online safety. But what happens when the algorithm is reaching them anyway? And what happens when it is reaching their friends, the kids they sit beside at school, play sports with, or spend the night with? We cannot monitor every conversation. We cannot see every screen. And while all of this is happening, many of us parents are distracted too. We are busy. We are exhausted. We are scrolling. So how do we raise conscious, grounded daughters and sons in a culture that is constantly competing for their attention? Dr. Shefali Tsabary joins us on The Language of Love, and this conversation goes straight into the heart of that question. Dr. Shefali is a clinical psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and founder of the Conscious Parenting Movement. For decades, she has challenged parents to look at themselves before trying to fix their children. Now, she is taking on two of the biggest conversations in parenting today: what is happening to our girls, and what is happening to our boys. Her response came in the form of two books, released at the same time and written in just five and a half months because she believes the moment demands urgency. In this episode, Dr. Shefali explains why the algorithm targets children differently based on sex, and why it is so effective. We talk about why simply banning social media can give parents a false sense of security, why taking a teenager's phone away overnight can backfire, and what parents can do instead. Her answer comes down to something that sounds simple, but is incredibly hard to practice: connection. Real connection. The kind that requires us to put our own phones down, pay attention, and actually be present with our kids. And then the conversation takes us somewhere many parenting discussions avoid. We talk about the impossible messages we are sending our boys. Be strong, but do not be domineering. Be vulnerable, but do not appear weak. Be confident, but never intimidating. Dr. Shefali explains why shaming boys does not teach them to become safer men. It can teach them to hide the very parts of themselves they need to understand. We also talk about masculinity and femininity, and what it could look like to celebrate these qualities without turning them into rigid boxes. There is room for strength and softness, confidence and vulnerability, masculinity and femininity, and for the many ways those qualities can show up in our children. This is a conversation about parenting, technology, identity, connection, and the kind of world we are creating for our kids. And it starts with a question we all need to ask ourselves: Are we really paying attention? In this episode, we talk about: The force shaping your child right now that is not you, not school, and not the app you blocked Why today's girls are the most powerful and the most fragile generation we have ever raised The prison that traps girls before they even know they are in it The impossible rulebook boys are handed, and what happens when they stop trying to follow it The tiny daily act that rebuilds years of disconnection, and it is not talking What mothers may be passing onto their sons without ever knowing it The one thing every parent needs to stop doing tomorrow The one thing Dr. Shefali says every parent needs to stop doing immediately If Dr. Shefali’s work resonates with you, you can learn more about her, her two new books, Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons, and the Conscious Parenting Movement at her website. Her website also offers resources and tools for parents who want to go deeper, including guidance on conscious parenting, connection, and raising emotionally healthy kids. Whether you have daughters, sons, or both, her work meets you where you are and helps you begin with the most important relationship of all: the one you have with yourself. For more resources, tools, and upcoming events, visit my website. And if something from this conversation stays with you, I’d love to hear from you at [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 23, 202636min
Number 2: How Long Do You Keep Trying When Your Partner Won’t Change? Laura Berman
What do you do when your partner keeps telling you they love you and want the relationship to work… but you’re the only one actually doing anything to make it better? You’re the one bringing up what isn’t working. You suggest therapy. You initiate the hard conversations. You try to repair after a fight. You read the books, listen to the podcasts, work on yourself and keep giving them another chance. And they say they hear you. They may even agree with you. But then nothing really changes. That’s the situation Sarah brings to me in this episode, and it raises a question I hear all the time in my practice: How long are you supposed to keep trying when someone says they want the relationship, but their actions tell a different story? Because love does matter. But love alone doesn’t make a relationship work. At some point, your partner has to be willing to help create the relationship they say they want. We talk about how to tell the difference between someone who genuinely wants to grow but is struggling, and someone who has gotten comfortable letting you carry the emotional weight of the relationship. And then there’s the harder question: If you already know this isn’t enough for you, what are you actually afraid will happen if you leave? For a lot of people, that’s where things get really interesting. We stay because we’ve invested years. Because we’re afraid of starting over. Because we hear a clock ticking. Because some part of us believes an unsatisfying relationship is still safer than the possibility of having no relationship at all. In this episode, I talk about: Why “I love you” has to be backed up by behavior How to know whether your partner is actually willing to work on the relationship Why you can’t do enough emotional work for two people The role fear plays in keeping us in relationships long after we know something has to change Why a clear boundary or ultimatum isn’t necessarily manipulation What to say when you need your partner to understand that things cannot continue as they are How to decide when you’ve tried enough If you’ve been carrying your relationship and wondering how much longer you’re supposed to keep trying, I want you to hear this: You don’t have to decide today whether you’re leaving forever. But you do have to stop confusing someone’s intention to change with actual change. At some point, you have to pay attention to what they’re doing, not just what they keep promising you they’re going to do. If you’d like to ask a question or get some advice [email protected] or leave a voicemail at languageoflovepod.com to have your own question answered in a future session. And if you want to go even deeper, check out Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, because you deserve a love that shows up, not one that just talks a big game. And if grief or loss is part of your story, come find me on my other podcast, Crying Out Loud. I talk with leading experts, healers and people who have lived through profound loss about what grief does to our brains, bodies, relationships and sense of self, and what actually helps us find our way through it. You can find Crying Out Loud wherever you’re listening to The Language of Love. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 02, 20267min
Number 3: What Women Were Never Told About Sex, Hormones & Menopause with Maria Sophocles
What if some of what you’ve been told about your sexual body, especially as you get older, is wrong? For decades, women have gone to doctors with questions about disappearing desire, painful sex, orgasm, hormones, and changes they barely recognize in their own bodies. And too often, they’ve left without real answers. Part of the problem is startling: many of their doctors were never adequately trained in female sexual health either. My guest on this episode of Language of Love, Dr. Maria Sophocles, is a board-certified gynecologist, menopause specialist, sexual medicine expert, TED speaker, and author of The Bedroom Gap. She has spent more than 30 years caring for women and challenging a medical system that has historically treated female pleasure as an afterthought. And there is a LOT we need to talk about. Maria takes us inside the medical blind spots that have shaped women’s sex lives for generations, from the anatomy lessons that barely acknowledged the clitoris to the flawed hormone study that frightened millions of women away from treatment. We talk about why Viagra may have inadvertently widened the “bedroom gap,” what women should understand about testosterone, and why painful sex and loss of desire should never simply be dismissed as the price of getting older. We also get into something I wish more women heard: your sexual life does not come with an expiration date. Maria shares why some women are having the best sex of their lives in their 60s, 70s, and 80s, and tells the remarkable story of an 82-year-old patient who finally revealed a desire she had kept secret for six decades. If you’ve ever wondered, What happened to my desire? Why does sex feel different now? Is this just aging? Why didn’t my doctor tell me any of this? This conversation is for you. In this episode, we get into: What “The Bedroom Gap” really is and why it affects far more than libido Why so many doctors receive surprisingly little training in female sexual pleasure How one deeply flawed study changed the conversation about hormone therapy for a generation The unexpected way Viagra widened the sexual divide between men and women What happens to estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone as women age What women need to know about testosterone and why access remains so complicated Why painful sex, low desire, and changes in orgasm deserve medical attention Why so many women fake orgasms and what that can do to their relationships and sexual satisfaction The surgery Maria refuses to perform and the pressure women feel to “fix” perfectly normal bodies Why masturbation can be an important part of sexual health and self-care How to talk to your doctor when you aren’t getting the answers you need Why your best sex may still be ahead of you The unforgettable 82-year-old patient who finally permitted herself to ask for what she wanted This conversation is a reminder that women deserve more than being told to tolerate the changes in their bodies. We deserve information, options, pleasure, and the freedom to keep discovering our sexuality at every age. To learn more about Dr. Sophocles and her work, visit her website and pick up a copy of The Bedroom Gap. She's also available on Audible, and she recommends buying an extra copy, one for yourself, and one for your doctor. If something in this conversation sparked something in you, don't stop here. My website offers more content, tools, and upcoming events to keep the conversation alive. And if a reflection comes up, or you simply want to reach out, I'd love to hear from you. Find me at [email protected]. This episode is for anyone who's ever wondered if it's too late to rediscover themselves and discovered the answer is no. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 26, 202650min
Number 4: When Your Marriage Starts Feeling Like a Partnership Instead of a Love Story with Laura Berman
One day you look up and realize you're running a great household together... but you don't really feel like a couple anymore. You're getting the kids where they need to go. Managing work. Paying bills. Keeping life moving. You're a great team. But somewhere along the way, your conversations became logistics. Date nights disappeared. Affection became routine. And even though you still love each other, the closeness that once came so easily feels harder to find. The good news? It doesn't mean your marriage is broken. It means your relationship has been surviving instead of being nurtured. In this Language of Love Session, I answer Jordan's question about what happens when couples slowly drift into feeling more like roommates than romantic partners. We explore why this happens to even healthy marriages, the biggest myth about staying connected during busy seasons of life, and the simple practices that help couples find their way back to each other before the distance grows too wide. In this episode, you'll learn: Why connection doesn't happen by accident in long-term relationships The three kinds of time every couple needs and why most people only prioritize one A daily habit that takes less than a minute but can completely change the emotional tone of your relationship Why waiting until life "slows down" seldom works How to stop talking only about schedules and responsibilities and start feeling like partners again If your marriage has started to feel more practical than passionate, this episode will remind you that intimacy isn't something you find. It's something you create, one small moment at a time. If this resonates with you, email me at [email protected] or leave a voicemail at languageoflovepod.com to have your question answered in a future Language of Love Session. Make sure you check out Sex Magic to learn more about how to create more passion and intimate connection. And if you're ready to deepen your emotional and physical connection even further, check out my free Quantum Love course, available on my website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 05, 202614min
Number 5: The Secret to Turning Her On (It's Not What You Think) with Laura Berman
For generations, we've been told that women simply have lower desire than men. It's one of the most common assumptions about relationships, and it's one of the most misleading. The truth is that women often experience desire differently. Understanding those differences can completely change the way you approach intimacy, attraction, and emotional connection. In this episode, I unpack what actually helps women feel open to desire, why so many couples end up misunderstanding each other, and how small shifts in the way you relate can create profound changes inside and outside the bedroom. I also share one simple sentence you can use tonight that has the power to help your partner feel more emotionally connected and receptive. Whether you're a man who wants a more passionate relationship, a woman who wishes her partner better understood what helps you feel desire, or you're simply curious about the science behind attraction, this conversation will change the way you think about intimacy. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why so many people misunderstand female desire • How women's desire differs from men's and why that matters • The role stress, hormones, emotions, and relationship dynamics play in attraction • What creates the emotional safety that allows desire to flourish • Why context has such a powerful influence on female arousal • The subtle moments that build attraction long before anyone enters the bedroom • The psychological and emotional experiences that many women find deeply arousing • How to cultivate desire that feels lasting, connected, and authentic • The needs many women long for but rarely know how to express • One simple sentence that can help your partner feel more emotionally connected and open to intimacy If you're ready to deepen the connection in your relationship, I invite you to explore my book Sex Magic and my Quantum Sex course. Together, they expand on the ideas we discussed today and offer practical ways to create more passion, intimacy, and emotional closeness. You'll find links to both in the show notes.you can always visit healwithlaura.com. And if this episode sparked a question, a reflection, or simply reminded you that you're not alone, I'd love to hear from you. Email me at [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 03, 20266min