Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

By The Language of Love

Language of Love is a podcast about love and intimacy in all its forms and the relationships that shape our lives. Hosted by renowned relationship therapist and bestselling author Dr. Laura Berman, th... more

4.7

160160 ratings

FAQs about Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman:

How many episodes does Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman have?

The podcast currently has 399 episodes available.

Best of Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

The most played episodes among Podcast App listeners.

Number 1: How Long Do You Keep Trying When Your Partner Won’t Change? Laura Berman
What do you do when your partner keeps telling you they love you and want the relationship to work… but you’re the only one actually doing anything to make it better? You’re the one bringing up what isn’t working. You suggest therapy. You initiate the hard conversations. You try to repair after a fight. You read the books, listen to the podcasts, work on yourself and keep giving them another chance. And they say they hear you. They may even agree with you. But then nothing really changes. That’s the situation Sarah brings to me in this episode, and it raises a question I hear all the time in my practice: How long are you supposed to keep trying when someone says they want the relationship, but their actions tell a different story? Because love does matter. But love alone doesn’t make a relationship work. At some point, your partner has to be willing to help create the relationship they say they want. We talk about how to tell the difference between someone who genuinely wants to grow but is struggling, and someone who has gotten comfortable letting you carry the emotional weight of the relationship. And then there’s the harder question: If you already know this isn’t enough for you, what are you actually afraid will happen if you leave? For a lot of people, that’s where things get really interesting. We stay because we’ve invested years. Because we’re afraid of starting over. Because we hear a clock ticking. Because some part of us believes an unsatisfying relationship is still safer than the possibility of having no relationship at all. In this episode, I talk about: Why “I love you” has to be backed up by behavior How to know whether your partner is actually willing to work on the relationship Why you can’t do enough emotional work for two people The role fear plays in keeping us in relationships long after we know something has to change Why a clear boundary or ultimatum isn’t necessarily manipulation What to say when you need your partner to understand that things cannot continue as they are How to decide when you’ve tried enough If you’ve been carrying your relationship and wondering how much longer you’re supposed to keep trying, I want you to hear this: You don’t have to decide today whether you’re leaving forever. But you do have to stop confusing someone’s intention to change with actual change. At some point, you have to pay attention to what they’re doing, not just what they keep promising you they’re going to do. If you’d like to ask a question or get some advice [email protected] or leave a voicemail at languageoflovepod.com to have your own question answered in a future session. And if you want to go even deeper, check out Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, because you deserve a love that shows up, not one that just talks a big game. And if grief or loss is part of your story, come find me on my other podcast, Crying Out Loud. I talk with leading experts, healers and people who have lived through profound loss about what grief does to our brains, bodies, relationships and sense of self, and what actually helps us find our way through it. You can find Crying Out Loud wherever you’re listening to The Language of Love. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 02, 20267min
Number 2: What Women Were Never Told About Sex, Hormones & Menopause with Maria Sophocles
What if some of what you’ve been told about your sexual body, especially as you get older, is wrong? For decades, women have gone to doctors with questions about disappearing desire, painful sex, orgasm, hormones, and changes they barely recognize in their own bodies. And too often, they’ve left without real answers. Part of the problem is startling: many of their doctors were never adequately trained in female sexual health either. My guest on this episode of Language of Love, Dr. Maria Sophocles, is a board-certified gynecologist, menopause specialist, sexual medicine expert, TED speaker, and author of The Bedroom Gap. She has spent more than 30 years caring for women and challenging a medical system that has historically treated female pleasure as an afterthought. And there is a LOT we need to talk about. Maria takes us inside the medical blind spots that have shaped women’s sex lives for generations, from the anatomy lessons that barely acknowledged the clitoris to the flawed hormone study that frightened millions of women away from treatment. We talk about why Viagra may have inadvertently widened the “bedroom gap,” what women should understand about testosterone, and why painful sex and loss of desire should never simply be dismissed as the price of getting older. We also get into something I wish more women heard: your sexual life does not come with an expiration date. Maria shares why some women are having the best sex of their lives in their 60s, 70s, and 80s, and tells the remarkable story of an 82-year-old patient who finally revealed a desire she had kept secret for six decades. If you’ve ever wondered, What happened to my desire? Why does sex feel different now? Is this just aging? Why didn’t my doctor tell me any of this? This conversation is for you. In this episode, we get into: What “The Bedroom Gap” really is and why it affects far more than libido Why so many doctors receive surprisingly little training in female sexual pleasure How one deeply flawed study changed the conversation about hormone therapy for a generation The unexpected way Viagra widened the sexual divide between men and women What happens to estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone as women age What women need to know about testosterone and why access remains so complicated Why painful sex, low desire, and changes in orgasm deserve medical attention Why so many women fake orgasms and what that can do to their relationships and sexual satisfaction The surgery Maria refuses to perform and the pressure women feel to “fix” perfectly normal bodies Why masturbation can be an important part of sexual health and self-care How to talk to your doctor when you aren’t getting the answers you need Why your best sex may still be ahead of you The unforgettable 82-year-old patient who finally permitted herself to ask for what she wanted This conversation is a reminder that women deserve more than being told to tolerate the changes in their bodies. We deserve information, options, pleasure, and the freedom to keep discovering our sexuality at every age. To learn more about Dr. Sophocles and her work, visit her website and pick up a copy of The Bedroom Gap. She's also available on Audible, and she recommends buying an extra copy, one for yourself, and one for your doctor. If something in this conversation sparked something in you, don't stop here. My website offers more content, tools, and upcoming events to keep the conversation alive. And if a reflection comes up, or you simply want to reach out, I'd love to hear from you. Find me at [email protected]. This episode is for anyone who's ever wondered if it's too late to rediscover themselves and discovered the answer is no. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 26, 202650min
Number 3: You Have Everything You Wanted. So Why Don’t You Feel Okay? With Koya Webb
What happens when you finally have the life you worked so hard for and you realize you’re not okay? My guest Koya Webb knows this contradiction intimately. Koya is a globally recognized wellness leader, bestselling author, speaker and founder of Get Loved Up, whose work has helped people around the world build healthier, more connected lives. She’s spent years teaching yoga, meditation, movement and holistic wellbeing, working with major brands and bringing these practices to audiences around the world. She had built a successful career doing work she loved. She was traveling, teaching and helping thousands of other people take better care of themselves. From the outside, her life looked like it was working. Behind the scenes, she was losing herself. At one point, Koya was literally putting vodka in her green juice. That image says so much about what we talk about in this episode. You can exercise, meditate, eat well and know all the “right” things to do and still use achievement, busyness and even wellness itself to avoid what’s happening inside you. Koya shares what was really going on during that period of her life and the moment she had to admit that the way she was living wasn’t sustainable. Her book, Wellbeing Rituals, grew in part from what she learned: there’s a difference between doing things that look like self-care and actually knowing how to care for yourself. And sometimes that means disappointing people. We talk about people-pleasing and what happens when being loving, helpful and dependable slowly turns into ignoring your own needs. Koya opens up about learning to say no and what happened when people who were accustomed to getting a yes from her didn’t like it. We also get into grief, emotional honesty and why some of the feelings we’re quickest to push away may be trying to tell us something important. Koya shares the rituals she uses to reconnect with herself, and I share some of mine too, including one that leads us into a pretty unexpected conversation about our bodies and what changes when we stop constantly trying to manage or fix them. In this episode, we talk about: How Koya built the life she wanted and still found herself struggling The story behind the vodka in her green juice and what it finally forced her to recognize The difference between practicing wellness and actually feeling well How people-pleasing can slowly pull you away from yourself What happens when you finally set a boundary and someone pushes back Why the emotions we try hardest to avoid may have something important to tell us Stress, nervous system regulation and how they affect the way we feel and connect Koya’s CHBT method and seven areas of wellbeing How to create rituals that actually support you instead of turning self-care into one more thing to accomplish If your life looks good on paper but something inside you still doesn’t feel right, I really want you to hear this conversation. You don’t have to wait until your life falls apart to pay attention to that feeling. And having a lot to be grateful for doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to admit that something is missing, hurting or needs to change. Sometimes we get so busy building the life we think will make us happy that we forget to stop and ask ourselves: Am I actually happy living it? Connect with Koya on her website and Instagram, explore her Wellbeing Rituals tour, and check out Wellbeing Rituals: Science-Backed Practices for Sustainable Healing and Living to go deeper into the practices we discuss. If you’d like to ask a question or get some advice, email [email protected] or leave a voicemail at languageoflovepod.com to have your own question answered in a future session. And if grief or loss is part of your story, come find me on my other podcast, Crying Out Loud. I talk with leading experts, healers and people who have lived through profound loss about what grief does to our brains, bodies, relationships and sense of self, and what actually helps us find our way through it. You can find Crying Out Loud wherever you’re listening to The Language of Love. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 09, 202656min
Number 4: Are You Choosing Them… or Waiting to Be Chosen? Laura Berman
There’s a subtle moment in dating when everything can start to change. At first, you’re paying attention to them. Do I like this person? Do I feel good around them? Are they kind? Interesting? Emotionally available? Do I want to see them again? Then you start to really like them, and suddenly the focus flips. Do they like me? Now you’re checking your phone. Analyzing texts. Wondering why they took three hours to respond. Replaying the date and looking for clues. And without even realizing it, you’ve stopped deciding whether you want them and started trying to figure out how to make sure they want you. That shift matters. Because once being chosen becomes the goal, it’s incredibly easy to abandon your own experience. You can overlook how anxious you feel around someone, make excuses for behavior you don’t actually like, or become so focused on whether you’re enough for them that you forget to ask whether they’re enough for you. And this doesn’t only happen while we’re dating. It’s one of the reasons rejection and breakups can hurt so much. Sometimes we’re grieving the person. But sometimes we’re also grieving the fact that they didn’t choose us, and those are two very different wounds. In this Language of Love Bite, I’m talking about why we can become so consumed with being wanted, what attachment and old relationship wounds have to do with it, and the question I often ask people after a breakup that can completely change the way they see what they’ve lost. Because yes, you deserve to be chosen. But you’re doing some choosing, too. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to recognize when you’ve shifted from getting to know someone to auditioning for their approval Why uncertainty can make you obsess over texts, conversations, and tiny changes in someone’s behavior The difference between actually wanting someone and wanting the validation of being wanted by them Why rejection can hurt even when the relationship itself wasn’t right for you The question I ask after a breakup that can change the story you’re telling yourself How to notice what your own experience is telling you about a relationship How to date without abandoning yourself in the process Whether you have experienced dating anxiety yourself or love someone who has, this episode will help you understand what is really happening beneath the surface and offer practical, compassionate tools to move forward with confidence. If this hits home, follow The Language of Love wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. If someone came to mind while you were listening, make sure to share this episode with them. You can also email me at [email protected] or leave a voicemail at languageoflovepod.com to have your own question answered in a future session. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 31, 20269min
Number 5: Why your partner's porn use hurts so much with Laura Berman
Few discoveries can shake your confidence quite like finding out your partner watches pornography. Suddenly, it's easy to wonder if you're enough. You start comparing yourself to people on a screen, questioning your body, your desirability, and even your relationship. Even if your partner insists it has nothing to do with you, the hurt can feel very real. But what if the greatest threat to your relationship isn't pornography itself? What if it's the story your mind begins telling you the moment you discover it? In this Language of Love Session, I answer a question from Priya, who recently learned that her partner watches porn and doesn't know what to do next. She doesn't want to control his behavior, but she also can't ignore the insecurity, resentment, and self-doubt that have crept into their relationship and into their sex life. Together, we'll explore why our brains are so quick to compare ourselves to impossible standards, what pornography does and doesn't necessarily mean in a relationship, and how to rebuild your sense of confidence regardless of your partner's choices. We'll also talk about when porn is relatively benign, when it may signal a larger issue, and how to have an honest conversation without shame, blame, or ultimatums. You'll learn: Why discovering porn use can trigger such intense feelings of insecurity The stories we tell ourselves that make the pain even worse When pornography is relatively harmless and when it becomes a relationship concern How comparison quietly erodes intimacy and self-confidence What actually creates lasting sexual attraction in a long-term relationship How to talk with your partner about porn without attacking or shutting down Practical ways to rebuild your erotic confidence and feel desirable again If this episode brings up a question of your own, email me at [email protected] or leave a voicemail at languageoflovepod.com. Your question could be featured in a future episode. And if you're ready to stop second-guessing yourself and start building a more secure, connected relationship, check out my book Sex Magic, take a look at Quantum Love, as well as my Quantum Sex Course available on my website. It's designed to help you break free from old patterns, strengthen intimacy, and create the kind of connection that doesn't depend on comparison or self-doubt. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 19, 20268min