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In this episode Valerie honors feminist writer Kynthia Taylor and unpacks an excerpt from her essay called "The Trouble with Chicken Patriarchy".  She follows up with thoughts on how as a therapist she sees the damage done to both men and women in the prescribed and deeply embedded gender roles that the church inherited in its 19th century inception and has in many ways expanded upon as the world has evolved in the opposite direction. 

Val breaks down how the roles of provider, protector, and presider creates guilt and shame in some men whose lives do not unfold according this "check list" and how the mixed messages of the church (becoming more flexible in some ways with women's roles but not actually changing anything in the power structure of the church) creates confusion, frustration, and struggle in spiritually developing and socially conscious individuals of both genders.

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Join Valerie and Nathan as they break down a variety of missionary-service related topics, including the following: 

1. What's with the hyper focus on missionary service of late?
2. misdiagnosis of the problem
3. Unrighteous dominion
4. Thoughts on mission reform...offering those who serve more personal ownership of their mission experience as a place to grow psychologically and spiritually. 
5. Thoughts on reform...realizing that the mission field is a major training ground for institutional and family-unit patriarchy where micro-aggressions are rampant, unacknowledged, and often defended. 

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In this episode, Valerie free-associates about her weekend spent reading, studying and thinking about the recent AP article regarding allegations that the LDS church is under-reporting sex abuse shared with ecclesiastical leader--protecting the predators at the expense of the victims.  

While this is a complex issue and Valerie does not pretend to know many answers, as a trauma therapist and a mandated reporter herself, she poses many questions that she would love for "the church" to answer, to help her and others concerned better understand and feel that the church is not only explaining themselves, but more importantly, considering a change of policy to protect the vulnerable.  

Article referenced in episode:

• Arizona court upholds clergy privilege in child abuse case, by Michael Rezendes, Jason Dearen

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Did you miss the AMAZING Sunstone Symposium 2022?  No worries!  In this episode you'll catch at least one lecture!  Join Valerie as she shares her session formally called "The Jungian Shadow and Mormon History" where she will cover:

1. 1.  The meaning of the Jungian Shadow
2. How we all try to DENY our personal shadows in creative ways that estrange us from owning and integrating our shadow parts
3. A case study in shadow integration:  King David self confronts with the help of the prophet Nathan
4. A case study in shadow non-integration:  Joseph Smith Jr. does not self confront (in spite of Oliver's attempts to be his "Nathan")
5. How this unresolved shadow continues to haunt us as an institution today in the form of deep struggles around the issues of sexuality, patriarchy, and hard power
6. What we can do to help our institution heal from this collective shadow.

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Imagine attending an LDS meeting where people from the extremes of belief and practice come together and enjoy one another's company, share their stories, experiences, thoughts, opinions, and struggles, and are met with openness, curiosity, compassion, and non-judgment?  This was our experience at our very first Sunstone Symposium--an annual gathering we just attended with a little bit of anxiety and a lot of curiosity.

In this episode Nathan and Val share more about specific moments that they enjoyed, some very unique kinds of people they met, and why they will not only be back, but why this un-official "General Conference" gave them hope that we as a church are capable of true community. 

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Can't make it to the Sunstone Symposium 2022?  Join Valerie on this episode as she walks you through one of her Sunstone Presentations breaking down the following:

1. Scott Peck's Stages of Faith Development
2. Characteristics of institutions in lower stages of faith development
3. Valerie's theories on why we as an institution are stuck
4. Actual comments from podcast listeners about their faith deconstruction and how this is often faith progression (not regression)
5. Why those in the orthodoxy and those in skepticism struggle with each other 
6. How to become a truly open community where all stages of faith are welcomed. 

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Join Val as she breaks down one gay man's reasons for staying in the LDS church.  This episode highlights the reality that every person must search for and choose for themselves their own authentic reason for staying (or not staying) in the church and that this decision is deeply and profoundly personal.  Book Referenced in this episode:

• Why I Stay 2: The Challenges of Discipleship for Contemporary Latter-day Saints, Edited by Robert Rees 

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Join Valerie in her analysis of Zina Petersen's progressively new lyrics to the classic primary hymn "I Am a Child of God", written to emphasize the importance of moving beyond childish simplicity, black and white thinking, right and wrong belief structures, and a covert belief in the prosperity gospel.  

In this episode Valerie walks through the power and pain of becoming a true "Adult of God" and how faith deconstruction is an invaluable part of your personal maturation and growing relationship with your divine parents and Savior.

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Join Val and Nathan as they break down the research findings regarding why people finally overcome their tribal desire to “fit in” and and “not make waves” and move into a place of courage, self validation, and even heroism.

 One's process of growing brave enough to speak truth to power and against the majority narrative involves

1. heightening ones attention and realizing there is a problem 
2. realizing the urgency of the problem
3. feeling a sense of personal responsibility
4. believing that one has the skills to help 
5. reaching a conscious decision to help.  

Listen as they break down how each element was a part of their personal journey towards speaking up.Books referenced:

• The Art of Insubordination: How to Dissent and Defy Effectively, by Todd B. Kashdan

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Join Valerie as she shares some words of wisdom straight from one of her spiritual heroes, father Richard Rohr.  In this episode she shares highlights from one of the most influential thought-provoking and growth-inducing books she has ever read:  Falling Upward.  

Discover for yourself whether you are in the "first half of life" or the "second half of life" and how we each move towards true adulthood. 

Books referenced in this episode:

• Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, by Richard Rohr

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