Latter Day Struggles

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Series Title: Analysis of E. Hamilton “Why a Church? [Part II of II]

In this episode, Valerie looks a psychological lens to explain some of the dynamics at play between some current spokespeople for the LDS church and those who are asking for dialogue and change in a variety of areas.  

As an intimate relationship therapist, Valerie frequently works with couples and helps them with struggles around the issue of power, growth, and fear. These very same concepts can be superimposed onto other relationships, and in this episode, Valerie demonstrates how some church spokespeople and many faith-expanding church members might be seen as locked in a struggle for healthy identity development, just as some individuals struggle in their intimate relationships.

The good news? This is normal, expected, and the only way to relationship health in the long run.  In both settings, what begins as the perfect romance [the perfect church, the perfect lover]  MUST give way to what really "is"...which brings up grieve, protest, denial, and eventually growth, if both parties recognize that the early “romance” was based on an illusion.  

Valerie also talks about what happens when the initially more empowered party in the relationship does not WANT to end the "romance" stage of the relationship and she gives possible reasons for why the empowered “caregiver” struggles giving up their role when the less empowered party wakes up and begins to self define. Valerie is hoping that this episode might propose a psychologically grounded answer to the "why are they acting this way?" questions regarding recent combative discourse.

Link to the speech

• “Why A Church?" by Kevin S. Hamilton

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Series Title: Analysis of E. Hamilton “Why a Church? [Part I of II]

In this special episode Valerie and Nathan respond to the recent address given by Elder Hamilton titled "Why a Church".  This episode attempts to acknowledge many potentially hurtful or harmful "take aways" that many might have experienced who are deeply committed to following Jesus Christ and who are also trying to discern if there is a place for them to worship in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as complex thinkers and committed seekers of systematic and spiritual truth.

Some "take aways" [which may not be intended but nonetheless may still have been experienced] include:

1)  Stay silent although in legitimate pain that is connected to membership in this church

2) there is no channel for conversation, accountability, or healing between wounded members and top governing individuals

3) there is no place for those who feel called to bless this organization through respectful public education, advocacy, and other efforts to invite growth, change, and an increase in love...

This episode is intended to be a loving and direct response to what many members in and around the LDS church are feeling was communicated.  Healthy relationships do not demand silence or non-questioning compliance and call these demands trust, faith, and obedience. 

Healthy relationship in every context invites dialogue, openness, accountability, and the embodiment of true common consent.  As these attributes are practiced at all levels of the institution, our religious system may begin to heal through love.

Link to the speech

• Why a Church? by Kevin S. Hamilton

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Series Title: An Exploration of Queer Mormon Theology [Part III of III]

In this final episode in this series honoring Blaire Ostler [scholar, author, and warrior at the complex intersection of the Mormon and Queer worlds], Val and Nathan walk through 15 suggestions given by Blaire on how we can do a better job educating ourselves and those around us on queer issues so that our queer children and adolescents feel seen, safer, and valued.

Please share this entire series with those around you who may not understand the psychological costs exacted upon our own loved ones due to current Queer-phobic theology. Helping others see this issues with new eyes might protect a precious life.

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Series Title: An Exploration of Queer Mormon Theology [Part II of III]

Join Valerie and author, theologian, and scholar Blaire Ostler as they tackle the beauty of speculative theology through their analysis of Blaire’s book “Queer Mormon Theology”. 

In this bold and beautiful book, Blaire invites her readers to consider multiple traditional Mormon-specific beliefs through a queer lens, showing us how a robust theology is ALWAYS inviting of study, questioning, and re-evaluation to become more reflective of the Savior we profess to worship. 

Blaire Maintains through multiple ideas and examples that we as disciplines of Jesus Christ are not only invited to widen our theological views, but encouraged to do so, actively participating in the democratic process of common consent. Listen to this beautiful conversation and find yourself a copy of Queer Mormon Theology.

*** Dialogue Podcasting Network Podcast/episode referenced in this episode: “The Foyer”: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-foyer/id1589860799?i=1000550522621 

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Series Title: An Exploration of Queer Mormon Theology [Part I of III]

In this beautiful episode, Blaire Ostler joins Valerie in an autobiographical conversation about her painful and dynamic hero’s journey reconciling within herself her queerness and her Mormon-ness, finding for herself that she could not shun either. 

This conversation covers the gradual unfolding of her queer identity and the pain she went through both within her body and between herself and her creators. She shares deep grief, “aha” moments, self hating moments, and moments of profound and growing self love and self acceptance. 

She emphasizes that this journey is HERS and that other queer people or Mormon people have the right to do their lives differently but proudly and boldly claims her own right to the path that she has chosen to walk at the intersection of two frequently unkind-to-each-other identities. 

Trigger Warning: this episode speaks of suicide ideation. 

Podcast referenced in this episode: 

• The Foyer: LGBTQ Mormon History and Theology

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Series Title: Do I Stay Christian? Book Analysis [Part V of V]

In each of these episodes, Val and Nathan go through McLaren’s 10 compelling reasons to LEAVE institutionalized Christianity and 10 compelling reasons to STAY. 

In this episode the two reasons discussed to LEAVE are as follows:

    9) Because of its tendency to constrict intellectualism [please jump over to episode 79 of this podcast for a deep dive into the damage done due to constrictive intellectualism and many cognitive biases common to underdeveloped Christian thinking] and

    10) Because Christianity is “SHRINKLING” [shrinking+wrinkling].

The two final reasons discussed in this episode to stay Christian are:

    9) To Free God from the dangerous image as the angry old white guy full of judgement and wrath, and

    10) Because of Fermi’s Paradox and the Great Filter [yep…you’ll clearly need to tune in to have the first clue about what he means here!!]

Val and Nathan respect McLaren’s straightforward, honest look at our Christian history and share in his trust that each of us is wise enough to look truth straight in the eye in order to forge our own path towards health and wholeness.

Book referenced in this episode

• ⁠Do I Stay Christian?: A Guide for the Doubters, the Disappointed, and the Disillusioned, by Brian D. McLaren⁠
• Faith After Doubt: Why Your Beliefs Stopped Working and What to Do About It, by Brian D. McLaren

Sunstone Symposium address referenced in this episode [Val’s favorite symposium address of all time]: 

• Sunstone Magazine Podcast: E130: Own Your Religion, by Greg Prince

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Series Title: Do I Stay Christian? Book Analysis [Part VI of V]

Welcome to part IV of our exploration of Brian McLaren’s book “Do I Stay Christian”. In each of these episodes, Val and Nathan go through McLaren’s 10 compelling reasons to LEAVE institutionalized Christianity and 10 compelling reasons to STAY.

In this episode the two reasons discussed to LEAVE are as follows:

 7) Because Christianity is STUCK due to its “belief policing” and its accompanying resistance to scientific advancements that might push up against traditional religious ideas, and

 8) Because Christianity as a religious system has arguably failed in its prime purpose: to transform people into loving, caring human beings.

Reasons to stay in this episode are as follows:

 7) Leaving complex and messy systems is arguably buying into a similar superiority complex that often draws people into Christianity in the first place, and

 8) Christianity is both getting better and it is getting worse.

 Better?  The internet’s built-in ability to demand openness and accountability.

 Worse? Two words: Christian Nationalism

Val and Nathan respect McLaren’s straightforward, honest look at our Christian history and share in his trust that each of us is wise enough to look truth straight in the eye in order to forge our own path towards spiritual health and wholeness.

Book referenced in this episode

• Do I Stay Christian?: A Guide for the Doubters, the Disappointed, and the Disillusioned, by Brian D. McLaren
• The Mormon Hierarchy: Extensions of Power, by D. Michael Quinn

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Series Title: Do I Stay Christian? Book Analysis [Part III of V]

In each of these episodes, Val and Nathan go through McLaren’s 10 compelling reasons to LEAVE institutionalized Christianity and 10 compelling reasons to STAY.

In this episode the two reasons discussed to LEAVE are as follows:

 5) Because of Christianity's "real" master...MONEY.  In this section Nathan and Val break down both how this issue applies to both "big" Christianity and to our our faith tradition's specific complex and problematic relationship with money, and

 6) Because of serious harm done due to white male patriarchy.

The two viable reasons to STAY in institutional Christianity discussed in this episode are:

 5) Due to Christianity's legendary founder.  This section focuses both on expanding our understanding of the difference between scriptural literalism and scriptural literary value.

 6) because innocence is an addiction and solidarity is the cure.

What McLaren means by this is that those who leave Christianity are enjoying the luxury of privilege.  Listen in to capture what he means by this and decide for yourself. 

Books referenced in this episode

• Do I Stay Christian?: A Guide for the Doubters, the Disappointed, and the Disillusioned, by Brian D. McLaren⁠
• ⁠The Mormon Hierarchy: Extensions of Power,⁠⁠ by D. Michael Quinn

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Series Title: Do I Stay Christian? Book Analysis [Part II of V]

In each of these episodes, Val and Nathan go through McLaren’s 10 compelling reasons to LEAVE institutionalized Christianity and 10 compelling reasons to STAY.

In this episode the two reasons discussed to LEAVE are as follows:

 3) Because of the huge world-wide death toll and life toll due to Christian imperialism/ colonization, and

 4) Because of perpetual issues with loyal Christian “company men” who value loyalty to institution over loyalty to those whom they are serving who come to worship God and find healing community.

The two viable reasons to STAY in institutional Christianity discussed in this episode are:

 3) Because those who value the rhythms of community worship will find that there is no human-run institution that will be exempt of the complexities of human-run institutions, and

 4) Because when speaking relative to the creation of the universe, Christianity is in its infancy and very young things are very underdeveloped by necessity.

Val and Nathan respect McLaren’s straightforward, honest look at our Christian history and share in his trust that each of us is wise enough to look truth straight in the eye in order to forge our own path towards spiritual health and wholeness.

Books referenced in this episode:

• Do I Stay Christian?: A Guide for the Doubters, the Disappointed, and the Disillusioned, by Brian D. McLaren
• The Creation of Patriarchy, by Gerta Lerner

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