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Series Title:  2022 Strength of Youth Pamphlet Health Check [Part III of VII]

In this episode Valerie and Nathan tackle the "For the Strength of Youth" section titled "Love God, Love Your Neighbor".  This section starts off strong reminding us of love as the power that evokes more love and the most important force for growth and change. Another "win" is the reassurance that God's love is always available.  It also invites us to love of all the world: a beautiful global neighborhood.  What's not to support here! 

Then this document moves into transactional invitations that (unfortunately) encourage our youth to prove their love by right action, rather than expressing a life committed to goodness as the natural outcome of love of self, others, and God.

Val and Nathan also discuss the following:

1. The power of prayer and communion emphasized
2. Encouragement to self-advocate in situations that are not safe
3. Openness and inclusion for all people no matter their race or religion (specific mention of gender/sexuality omitted in this clause sadly)
4. Prescriptions around opposite sex early benign interaction
5. Ways to handle complex home life situations
6. Questions at the end implying more transition-based relationship with God.

This section offers a lot of beautiful counsel.  Nathan and Val express some concern that the counsel does not necessarily align with current theology and policy around real-time issues of inclusion and safety.  It does however invite healthy advocacy towards these Christ-like values.

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Series Title: Analysis of E. Corbitt: Christ-Centered Activism [Part II of II]

In this follow up episode, Valerie conceptualizes the recent formal criticism of activism/advocacy against the LDS church from the psychological framework called Internal Family Systems [IFS]. She begins by explaining how within each individual is a “true self” who is whole, complete, wise, and infinitely capable and powerful…[exactly what might be expected of offspring of divine parents!] 

As mortality wears on we each collect experiences and relationships that inevitably hurt and overwhelm and through these experiences our true selves fade into the background while two other self states emerge: the “wounded child” part [representing deep fear and helplessness] and an aggressive, hostile, bullying “protector” part, who takes charge to protect the “wounded child” part, and generally makes things much worse even while intending to make things better. 

Healing comes when the “true self” steps in and begins to reclaim their power through [atonement-activated] love, compassion, and self acceptance.

In this episode Valerie proposes this exact dynamic playing out in “real time” in our very institution. She further proposes that we activists begin to see our role as essential in the growing body of the church’s “true self” potential.

Book referenced in this episode:

• No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model, by Richard Schwartz

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Series Title: Analysis of E. Corbitt: Christ-Centered Activism [Part I of II]

In this special episode, Nathan and Val respond to the recent address given by E. Corbitt claiming that all activism against the church is sinful, wrong, and motivated by evil intention.  This could not be further from the truth.  Val and Nathan address the following issues looking at the psychology of how to heal fractured relationship and the many ways healthy healing principles were not only not practiced, but (sadly) completely contradicted.  Here is a rundown of what they addressed:  

1. A general misunderstanding of the nature of the suffering, hurt, betrayal, hopelessness, and pain that brings about activism [relational protest] of all sorts.
2. A list of "what not to say" to someone who has experienced legitimate pain at the hands of an authority figure if healing is desired by both parties
3. An explanation of how pain and suffering can be healed through legitimate acknowledgment of its reality (rather than a diminishing of its existence).
4. The claim that activism is ALWAYS wrong in the context of religion.
5. Several misinterpretations of scripture including the claim that prophets are 'made perfect in Christ'
6. The claim that sustaining means exact alignment with prophets all of the time
7. The claim that activism is a blanket rejection of Jesus Christ and the entire leadership and church
8. The claim that activism does not bring about change in the church (because change sufficiently happens on its own) while also claiming that if activism is needed, it can be solved at the ward level
9. The claim that activists are judgmental, narrow minded, and an echo-chamber of their own beliefs [wow].
10. The idea that disagreement in any way causes contention and contention is always wrong. 

Val and Nathan also walk through multiple ways one might "check themselves" to see if they have caught what Elder Corbitt calls "ATC" and Valerie and Nathan take the test to see where they stand and how it feels. (PS They feel fine!)

Take the test for yourselves and evaluate your own endeavors to align with love and goodness! Please SHARE this episode to help others make sense of this recent address and news article.  Articles of this nature further divide rather than heal.  As Christ-Centered Activists, we seek to be acknowledged, seen, and understood.  This is how reconciliation happens.

Helpful Links:

• PDF: ACTIVISM VS. DISCIPLESHIP: A Message for Chaplains of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, by Brother Ahmad S. Corbitt
• YouTube: Activism vs. Discipleship, Protecting the Valiant || Brother Ahmad S. Corbitt

Book referenced

• Do I Stay Christian?: A Guide for the Doubters, the Disappointed, and the Disillusioned, by Brian McLaren

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In this episode Valerie walks you through her own experience with many, many of her own clients who tenaciously refuse to believe that the atonement is actually infinite and eternal for them.  In the LDS faith (and other conservative Christian faiths) sexual addiction seems to hold an elevated place of shame, judgment, and condemnation.

Many people communicate and truly believe that this struggle is too "bad" to be consumed in the atonement of Jesus Christ...until the wounded does something to earn it first. Once again.  This belief harms everyone.  And it paralyzes the one desperately in need of that Love that heals ALL wounds and changes all natures.

Follow Valerie through her own experiences working with individuals who need more than anything, a reason to believe that they are worthy of the love that activates their own healing journey.

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SUBSCRIBE: All Friday episodes of Latter Day Struggles can be accessed through ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠a paid subscription ($9.99/month)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Thank you for supporting Valerie’s professional commitment to your LDS Faith expansion journey!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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SUPPORT GROUPS: You are invited to join one of Valerie’s space-limited ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Faith Crisis and Expansion Support and Processing Groups⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!  As a trauma therapist, she continues to help our LDS faith expansion community become psychologically healthier and spiritually well in and around the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Details about availability on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠latterdaystruggles.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  These groups ALWAYS FILL UP, so jump in asap!

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COURSES: Now available! “⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠A Couple’s Guide to Faith Crisis and Expansion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠” parts I and II. See what else is offered on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠latterdaystruggles.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Series: 2022 Strength of Youth Health Check [Part III of VII]

In this episode Val and Nathan focus on the section in the pamphlet that outlines the LDS church’s teachings on the atonement of Jesus Christ and riff about some positives in this section as well as what they feel might be a generalized misunderstanding about the nature of Christ’s truly infinite power to heal us through love.

They start with Val breaking down 3 atonement theories:

1. Ransom Theory
2. Satisfaction Theory
3. Penal Substitution Theory

and talk about which of these theories seem to be most generally accepted in LDS thought… and why this is problematic.

They then address several questions, including:

• Must we do something to activate the healing power of the atonement? 
• Does God really demand justice of their children and does Jesus Christ really intervene to protect us from our own justice-demanding parents [and why would we worship that kind of God?] Is this stance possibly a product of centuries of patriarchy? 
• Why would “sin/repentance” language be better replaced with “wounded/healing” language to connect us with Christ? 
• Who truly demands justice and struggles the most receiving Christ’s mercy [hint: look in the mirror]? 
• What keeps people from sinning their lives away if they aren’t motivated by fear, punishment, or disappointment from God and Christ? 

The essence of this episode is that the atonement is founded in love, was performed through love and heals us through love even before we have a chance to mess up. Buckle up and maybe catch this episode twice because it’s likely atonement ideas you never heard in church. 

Brilliant books referenced: 

• The Universal Christ: How a Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope for, and Believe, by Richard Rohr
• All Things New: Rethinking Sin, Salvation, and Everything in Between, by Terryl and Fiona Givens
• Dialogues With Myself Personal Essays on Mormon Experience, by Eugene England

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Due to the large number of enquiries I have received about joining a space-limited support group, this short episode will answer some of the common questions that many of you have about what to expect in a Latter Day Struggles Support Group.  I address and give examples of kinds of conversations we have, kinds of content I bring, what type of participation you might expect to have, and how well you will get to know yourself and each other.

I divide my focus between immediate skills training content and practices (such as--ideas about how to have a challenging conversation with someone who does not understand your current journey) and more long term identity development, consciousness raising, soul-growth type of conversations (you'll need to listen to the episode to get the explanation on this one!). 

I also share several ways that we are connecting between session and a new closed Facebook group that I am soon opening for all members of all groups where I will be hosting periodic Q&Rs.  Listen in and let me know if I have not answered your questions by emailing me at [email protected].

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Series Title:  2022 Strength of Youth Pamphlet Health Check [Part II of VII]

In this episode tackling the fresh new For the Strength of the Youth Pamphlet, Val and Nathan cover the first several sections of this pamphlet and on the bright side are encouraged by opening words about the lovability of our youth and how normal it is to struggle in life.  They also notice the first presidency's pointing our youth to our Savior in times of struggle and stress.  

On the more concerning side, they notice yet another reference around our youth's extra super special [superior] status in the eyes of God (yikes) and that therefore the youth have special work to do to save those less fortunate than themselves (yikes again).  

Val and Nathan also break down why language and ideas that divides our youth from "the world" is not a healthy paradigm spiritually or relationally.  Finally, Valerie discusses a portion of this document and its possible connection to our church's collective vulnerability with religious scrupulosity. 

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Series Title:  2022 Strength of Youth Pamphlet Health Check [Part I of VII]

Join Nathan and Val in this walk down "For the Strength of the Youth" memory lane.  Beginning with the first rendition in the 60's and its humorous fixation on proper fashion to the focus on measuring up to God of the 1990's pamphlet and anxiety inducing do's and don'ts lists of the 2011 pamphlet...there is plenty to compare and contrast about how this official position statement has change and changed and changed.  

This episode is first in a few that will analyze first these older documents and then dive into the new document and look at what is helpful in strengthening our relationship with God and what is not.  

Articles referenced in this episode:

• What are the biggest changes to the new ‘For the Strength of Youth’ booklet? By Jake Frandsen, LDSLiving
• For the Strength of Youth: 1965 to today, UtahValley360

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Join Valerie and Nathan as they break down the Young Women's and Young Men's Themes from the perspective of healthy identity development as children of divine parents, each with a unique identity and purpose in this life.  

Val and Nathan celebrate the 'wins' in each document and then describe why certain elements of each document might be problematic for the healthy development of youth of both genders and for different reasons.  

Sometimes documents of this nature that designate specific roles, responsibilities,  and accomplishments as measures of progress or worthiness [to others and/or God] evoke unintended problems in the youth's ability to ultimately accept themselves as infinitely worthy of love and capable of crafting a life using their own inner compass.

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In this episode Valerie validates those who are struggling with some current policies that are wounding our sexual and gender minority friends and loved ones and invites a deeper understanding of both the hurt and our potential to heal this hurt by looking at Carol Lynn Pearson's book "No More Goodbyes".   

In this episode Val breaks down what she considers to be five foundational healthy psychological relationship paradigms and contrasts these with five unhealthy paradigms that are the current lived experience of so many who suffer in our circles.

These paradigms include:

1: HEALTHY--We are all innately worthy of love just as we are. 

1: UNHEALTHY--A false belief that some humans are born with something innately 'wrong' with them.  

2: HEALTHY-- Parent/child relationships encompass deep unconditional love that helps a parent learn the depth of God's love for them as they learn how to love their unique children, 

2 UNHEALTHY--Parents sometimes feel compelled to choose loyalty to an institution over unconditional love for their child.  This choice may be expressed through subtle disappointment/distancing or through explicit rejection.  

3:  HEALTHY--The family is the basic unit of society that enables people to learn how to bond, love, and serve one another through lived experiences and stages 

3:  UNHEALTHY--Only a certain prescribed type of family is considered acceptable and families that do not follow the prescribed model will not be seen as acceptable 

4:  HEALTHY--People gain healthy ego structures by being in relationship with influential caregivers who are consistent, loving, and make repairs when inevitable struggles happen. These relationships are called 'secure attachment relationships'.   

4: UNHEALTHY--People's brains become traumatized when the influential caregiver acts like they love the person sometimes but also abuse the same person at other times. This is disorienting and deeply painful to the person on the receiving end of this acceptance/rejection dynamic.  This is called a 'disorganized attachment relationship'.  

5:  HEALTHY--Love heals.  

5:  UNHEALTHY—Hate destroys.

Valerie infuses stories from No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons around Our Gay Loved Ones, by Carol Lynn Pearson to illustrate powerfully each of these psychological principles.  

*****Trigger Warning****This episode discusses incidents of attempted suicide. 

PLEASE SHARE THIS EPISODE!  

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