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I go through the 5 steps of Self Regulation with a specific parenting example
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In this podcast episode I share about a $35 Brooklyn Parenting and Teaching Q&A event with Dr. Shefali. However, I can get you into the even for FREE, if you reach out to me with you name and email through instagram or email.
This is the event link
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dr-shefali-with-lindsey-simcik-radha-agrawal-at-lapc-tickets-1998514748411?aff=oddtdtcreator&keep_tld=true
I also discuss how to assess if you or someone else is improving their skill of assertiveness
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In this episode I talk about the unique benefits we provide to our Teachers/Safekeepers and the process of continuing to improve benefits for Safekeepers in a Conscious Discipline way.
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Mr. Chazz and Sydney reflect on how birdhouse was started. We reflect on some of the adult skills that were needed to even start birdhouse. The same skills we open this school to teach children, were the same skills we needed to just start the school.
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This is a reintroduction podcast.
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Child readiness for toilet learning
Toilet Learning Philosophy & Readiness
Adult readiness more critical than child readiness
• Adults must have bandwidth to support child through incompetence-to-competence phase
• Adult anxiety transfers to child, reducing learning capacity
• Key question: Can adult maintain calm during transitional space?
Child readiness indicators
• Natural curiosity about potty (wanting to sit, try, emulate adults)
• Curiosity wanes when effort feels challenging
• Can child tolerate discomfort when effort > reward?
Three learning stages
1 Effort much greater than reward (hardest phase)
2 Effort equals reward
3 Effort becomes easier, reward greater (integrated/automatic)
Direct vs Indirect Learning Strategy
Maximize indirect learning before potty expectations
• Healthy adult modeling and body talk outside bathroom
• Play props and toys around potty concepts (not in bathroom)
• Books, songs, visuals about body processes
• Reduces performance anxiety in actual bathroom moments
Formal learning begins with underwear transition
• Children learn by doing, not just observing (swimming pool analogy)
• Must wear underwear before mastering skills (expect accidents initially)
• Keeping diapers while expecting consistent potty requests is unrealistic
• Children understand: diapers = pee/poop, underwear = different expectation
Body Boss Language Framework
Replace “big kid” language with “body boss”
• Avoids developmental struggle of wanting to be big vs baby
• Emphasizes empowerment and body ownership
• “You have an important job” vs “you’re a big kid”
• Normalize “listening to your body” and “taking care of your body” across all activities
Key phrases to use
• “Missing the signal” instead of asking “did you poop?”
• “Your body’s figuring out how to feel comfortable” vs “you should be able to…”
• “It’s not happening yet” vs “it’s not happening”
• Tag words: yet, soon, just a matter of time
Handling Poop Resistance
Treat peeing and pooping as separate skills
• Different body parts, consistency, pressure
• Give permission to ask for pull-up when feeling poop urge
• Celebrate progress: “toilet bowl is half full”
Prevent withholding behaviors
• Getting poop out of body trumps potty success
• Withholding causes constipation, behavioral issues, reduced bandwidth
• Offer dignified alternatives (pull-up, permission to soil underwear)
Response approach
• Reduce adult energy/focus around the struggle area
• Slow things down, reduce urgency
• Continue indirect learning without performance pressure
Practical Implementation
Potty equipment choices
• Offer both little potty and toilet seat attachment
• Let child choose which feels safer
• Feet firmly planted important for bowel movements
Nighttime readiness
• 5 consecutive nights of dry pull-ups
• Check earlier than usual wake time to distinguish holding vs morning release
Launching process
• Start at home, not school
• Long weekend good for formal launch
• Don’t go back and forth between diapers/underwear (confusing)
• Reset to diapers okay if stress becomes excessive
Resources & Support
Diaper Doggy book
• Creates ritual for transition (like Tooth Fairy)
• Uses body boss language throughout
• Available at Barnes & Noble (not Amazon)
Joan’s consultation services
• Virtual coaching: $25/30min, $50/hour through medical practice
• Personalized social stories available
• Works with families nationwide
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Join her Teen Parenting Series here! https://forms.office.com/pages/responsepage.aspx?id=DQSIkWdsW0yxEjajBLZtrQAAAAAAAAAAAANAATFIR4xURU9NQkc4WUVOSklLMURaVlJNUkdCWjZXMC4u&route=shorturl
Mindy's Website
https://growwithusacademy.com/
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