Life Uncut

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

On the show: 

• We have a surprise SPOILER it's James Bay
• Chat GPT roasts us
• Matty J wrote a book and Laura is proud as punch
• Headline and Headlies with Matty J

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Hey Lifers,
Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer all of your deep, dark and burning questions!
It's Britt and Producer Keeshia's birthday and they're off on a romantic, couples holiday as a taste tester (quite literally) of Britt's wedding.
Have you ever taken a vibrator to Bali? We might get stopped at customs for reasons we weren't expecting!

If you have had a wedding, did you have a 'first look' and do photos before your ceremony or did you wait to have photos taken after the ceremony?
Laura had an 'interesting' back drop in some of her wedding photos that caused a smell that didn't fit with the feelings of the moment.

Vibes for the week:

Laura: MCoBeauty Miracle Flawless Skin Foundation

Keeshia: Podcast The rest is politics US

Britt: Ilona Maher Instagram Account

Then we jump into the questions:

WHEN TO PUT BEST MOVES ON IN THE BEDROOM
When is the right time to pull out your best moves in the bedroom? My best friend has started to see new people after coming out of a four year relationship. As her longest single friend she asked me when is it too soon to use your best moves on a new sexual partner? Which got me thinking, Do you leave it all on the floor on your first time because you want to impress them? Or do you keep some of those party tricks in the locker for future? I personally have had experiences in the past where I have been complimented on certain acts in the bedroom in almost a “you must do that alot” kind of way as if I’m being judged for having too much experience (charming I know). So I need to know your thoughts. Do you hold back with a new partner in fear of being judged for being too experienced or do you go hell for leather and pull out all the moves on the first go? 

In this question we mentioned the great episode we recorded with Tara O Sex Isn't a Stage Show, So Drop the Act

SHOULD I SUCK IT UP FOR MY HUSBAND'S SAKE OR IS THIS DISLOYAL?
My husband's best friend (best man at our wedding) and his long term wife got a divorce due to him cheating. The wife was clearly devastated, they had started trying for a baby and it came as a shock to everyone. The husband less than 2 months on finds a new girlfriend and gets her pregnant, they have only a few weeks ago had the baby. I cannot bring myself to congratulate him. I am still close friends with my ex wife. And he is essentially living the life that they had planned together which is devastating to her. My husband is still close friends with him despite his actions, but I feel he's not the person we thought he was. Am I rude and selfish for not congratulating him on the baby's arrival and I should just suck it up for my husband's sake?

FRIEND ONLY CONTACTS ME WHEN SHE WANTS ME TO BUY FROM HER BUSINESS
I've had a friend for 10 years, we used to work together and have kept in touch ever since and see each other a few times a year. Recently, she’s started a business, and now all messages end in "do you want these products?" or ways of trying to sell. I am considering ending this friendship because of this. She usually takes weeks to reply to messages, but when she is trying to sell something to me, she replies straight away. When I said “no” she goes back to taking weeks to reply. I see that she is active on instagram stories 10x per day, trying to market and sell this product. I just feel a bit used. What should I do? Any advice would be appreciated.

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Back for the second time is the hilarious Ellie Cole. Ellie is the most decorated Australian female paralympian of all time & a childhood cancer survivor. Ellie has joined the podcast before in Feb 2023  “I threw my leg at him and it hit him like a shish kebab”. 

Ellie has just touched down back in Australia after doing poolside commentary in Paris at the 2024 Olympics. We have a whole bunch of Olympic questions for her like:

-The funniest/most meme-able moments from Paris 2024

-What is the Olympic Village like?

-Can and do the athletes all hook up with each other?

-What are the Olympic beds like?

-Should the Paralympics and Olympics be at the same time?

-Pay parity, the ‘equal Olympics’ and misogyny in commentary 

We also speak about Ellie becoming a mum, their IVF journey and her fears about her son being bullied when he gets to school for having two mums.

You can find more from Ellie here!

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Hey Lifers,

Things are slightly more unhinged than normal due to some sleepy, post Logies Britt and Laura! Laura thinks Britt looks like checks notes Charlie Sheen...
We take a bit of a peak behind the curtain of what actually happens at the Logies.
We spoke about the highlights and lowlights, who left early, how the red carpet and outfits all work and also we are now Felix Cameron and Larry Emdur stans.

Britt speaks about her mum overstepping on what was intended to be a generous offer and Laura finally shares the real story behind her wedding planner who was a bit of a scammer.

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Hey Lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer all of your deep and burning questions!

Britt has some terrible dating advice that includes faking a celebrity interaction.
The tide seems to be turning on Raygun. There is more speculation around the ethics of her journey to the Olympics since we recorded on Monday morning.
Laura helps Britt learn about her (Ben's) new home in Romania. 

Vibes for the week:

Laura: Two Doting Dads Book: The Quest For Free Time

Keeshia: It Ends With Us Film

Britt: Diary of a CEO podcast with Francis Ngannou

Then we jump into your questions!

AM I UNFULFILLED OR IS THIS NORMAL?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I have kids, he doesn’t. I have always felt like he is my best mate, not necessarily my penguin but at the same time it’s been 5 years we’ve put in the work and my kids now adore him. His best friend moved in with us a year ago. I obviously noticed this man was attractive and I’ve known him for a long time but I was happy and content with my partner and I thought hey it’s normal to just appreciate someone’s good looks. 

Until… he messaged me one night. I was at work and he had been drinking. It said  “Hey please don’t repeat what I’m about to tell you.” He goes on to tell me that he finds me irresistible and the reason he chose to take a FIFO (3 on, 1 off) job was because he struggles to be alone with me. He said he thinks about me non stop. 

I would be lying if I didn’t say I felt the lust. I went home, slept it off and felt so guilty that I showed my boyfriend the messages. He kind of just said ‘Oh wow he is thinking with the wrong body part’ and has since pretended like it never happened. Now I’m in a tailspin. I dream about this man. He creeps into my mind constantly. He comes home in a week and I’ve tried gently suggesting to my boyfriend that we ask him to move out. Obviously I haven’t told him that I am attracted to his best friend but I just said that it’s a little awkward. My partner just replied that the extra income is helpful and he probably won’t try anything. But what he doesn’t know is that his friend has messaged me since telling me he is sorry, however I am just so beautiful and kind, how I’m the sweetest and he can’t help but think about me. I truly think that I’m just feeling this way because after 5 years and being a full time working mum, I feel invisible to my family so having a man call me irresistible is a thrill. I do not want to go against my morals and destroy someone’s trust over a fling but I also don’t want to tell my partner how I feel. Should I be looking at this as a sign I’m unfulfilled in my relationship and maybe it’s time to move on (not with his friend) or is this just a normal reaction to having an attractive man show me attention and once he has moved out I can just move past this without hurting my boyfriend?

DON'T WANT TO WEAR THE BRIDAL OUTFIT
How do I tell the bride and groom of a wedding I’m attending later this year that the bridal party outfit they have chosen for me is awful and I don’t want to wear it? Keep in mind they also asked me to pay for it (so now I am out of pocket too). I live in a different state to them, so had to order online without trying the outfit before buying. It is unflattering, does not suit my shape, and I feel so uncomfortable in it. I do not want to wear this in public, let alone in front of a crowd at a wedding. I had suggested early on that if I’m paying for it, could I buy a nice dress in their colours that I’d be likely to wear again. They insisted however they wanted everyone to be ‘uniform’. Do I just have to suck it up, as the day is not about me? (Also, this is a destination wedding so I am already spending thousands on travel and accommodation to attend)

I DON'T LIKE HIM DRINKING ALONE
My husband and I had a disagreement and both genuinely could not work out who was in the wrong, so reverting to the brains trust! My husband works shift work, so often has midweek days off or finishes really early on weekdays that I'm working. Sometimes (say once a week) he likes to go to the local pub by himself and have a few beers until I finish work. He usually comes home tipsy on these occasions. I feel uncomfortable about him drinking by himself and coming home tipsy after doing so. I don't have any issue with him drinking with friends or if we have a few drinks together - it's just the by himself aspect (which I think stems from growing up with parents who had issues with alcohol). He gets upset by this and feels like I'm trying to control how he spends his free time. He doesn't think it's unreasonable to do this once a week. I don't have an issue with him doing any activity by himself that doesn't involve alcohol, so don't feel that I'm being controlling. Who is in the wrong?! Am I being unreasonable? We both have had multiple convos about this and both are not sure if each of us are in the wrong. For context, we are in our early 30's and have no kids, just living at home the 2 of us (and otherwise have an amazing relationship)!

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Brittany Butler spent nine years as a targeting officer within the CIA's Directorate of Operations, Counterterrorism Center. Brittany has worked both at Langley and in the Middle East and has first-hand knowledge of how the CIA recruits spies and how intelligence organisations discover and apprehend terrorists.

In today’s episode we speak about:

• How Brittany was recruited to the CIA
• Our perceptions of what someone in the CIA would look and be like vs reality
• Whether she told her loved ones what her real job was
• Meeting terrorists and whether Brittany was ever scared
• How the collaboration between CIA, FBI, secret services and police works
• Who was ultimately responsible for the security at former president Trump’s assassination attempt
• What Brittany is and isn’t allowed to speak about from her time in the CIA
• Is the CIA a boys' club? Honey pot operations and the value that women bring to intelligence organisations
• Advocacy for women’s rights in the Middle East
• Writing spy novels from a female perspective and sharing those experiences!

See more from Brittany:

Brittany's Website

Brittany's Tiktok

Brittany's Instagram

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Hey lifers,

Laura is an elite athlete now. She's possibly getting a ticket for indecent exposure but we're focussing on the success of doing 14km with a donkey pram!
Britt has done one of the more Britt coded things possible and embarrassed herself again.
If you could theoretically find out who the love of your life was going to be and specifically when you would meet them at the age of say 18, would you? Would you like to know?
If you had a crystal ball and could see whether you and your current partner were going to be together in 10 years, would you like to know that?

Ben has moved to Romania and Britt knows a bit too much about Dracula...
Laura has an update on how her conversations with her girls went about their grandfather passing away.
The entire world cannot stop talking about Raygun. We unpack where the line between trolling and criticism is, whether the commentary is gendered and whether it's 'good enough' that she 'did her best'.
We also take a bit of a dive into her own research in the field and how it seems to contrast her performance at the Olympics.

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

On the show: 

• Chivalrous or weird - Britt got picked up
• Amy Shark joins the show
• The renovation poo plot twist
• Mitch paying it forward
• Millenials vs Gen Z

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers!

Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer your deep and burning questions!
How do you feel about group saunas? Are they good for a bit of a group therapy session or human stew? 

Vibes for the week can be found here!
Britt: Tom organic period cup
Keeshia: The Shocking Effects of 500 Days Without Alcohol - Mark Manson
Laura: Koala Suffolk Chair

Then we get into your questions!

DO I CATCH UP WITH HER OR LEAVE IT
I had this girlfriend I’d only known for a short time through work. Early in our friendship, just a couple of months in, she asked me for advice on proposing to her boyfriend. I encouraged her to go for it and a few weeks later I found myself hiding behind a beach umbrella, camera in hand, capturing her proposal. Not long after, she asked me to be her bridesmaid. I was flattered and accepted, although I was a bit surprised given how new our friendship was. Then, the wedding was postponed for a year due to a venue mixup. Life got busy for both of us, but I made an effort to stay in touch, regularly checking in. Her responses were few and far between, until one day out of the blue, she sent me a long text telling me she didn’t want me at the bridal party anymore. She claimed I was the reason we’d drifted apart but said she still wanted me in her life. Yet, when the wedding finally happened, I wasn’t invited at all. A few months after the wedding, she messaged me saying she wanted to catch up. Now, I’m torn: should I take the high road and give her a second chance, or cut ties since she was the one who cut me off first? We still have mutual friends, so it’s likely we’ll run into each other at some point. 

NO MORE BABY TALK
My best friend sometimes makes comments when we are out for dinner with our closest girl group like ‘no more baby talk’. It’s a punch in the gut for me. This year my entire life has been consumed with my baby. I was on family leave and just started back up at work now. At this point of my life, all of it revolves around my baby. I feel confused and don’t know who I am any more, I feel like I have nothing else to talk about, and to my friends who I love dearly, I’m boring them. Normally I wouldn’t want to care what people think of me, but her opinion of me really matters. My best friend does want to have kids (but in a few years). I guess my question is, how do I navigate this friendship, since we are both at different stages of our life? How do I navigate the comments? How do I find myself again? I sometimes miss the old me (freedom and time to do things I want to do), but I especially miss the old me when I feel I’m boring my best friends and have nothing else to contribute. Or how do I care less about this?

NOT READY FOR MY MUM TO MEET MY NEW BOYFRIEND
I’m going away on an overseas holiday with my new boyfriend. We have only been dating for 2-3 months but a holiday is a holiday so why not! My mum is actually going overseas (not with us) at the same time and our flights come in on the same day around the same time. My mum has asked if we can give her a lift home from the airport. It’s only early days in the relationship and a long 2 hr drive home from the airport. This might possibly be the first time she and he meet and I’m not ready for that. I don’t know how to say no without feeling guilty and if I tell her I’m not ready for her to meet him she won’t understand. I know she will take over the car ride home and won’t stop yapping or complaining. I’m feeling so anxious about it already. I’m 35 yrs old if age helps with context.

Keeshia mentioned a great conversation about going sober and alcoholism with Emily Weir & you can listen here

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Zoe Marshall is a lot of things. A podcaster, a content creator, an ex radio host, a mother of 2 and she’s now an advocate for mindset and manifestation. She’s joining us today to talk through why mindset is so important in our lives and the science behind some practices that have been thought of as a bit 'woo woo'.

Zoe also speaks about what led her in a different direction from the successful podcast 'the deep' and how we all process and manage trauma. 

We speak about:

• How ‘manifesting’ has been labelled as only for the privileged
• Finding purpose in less conventional ways
• Conscious thought and taking action especially in relationships
• Reticular activation system
• Shifting mindset from fear to gratitude
• It’s the feeling, not the ‘thing’ that you actually want

You can find everything from Zoe here

Zoe’s course "How to Manifest" - use code LIFEUNCUT for 25% off

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