Life Uncut

Hey Lifers!

PLEASE VOTE FOR US IN THE AUS PODCAST AWARDS

Laura went to the reptile park and had a brilliant time. She's also planted a new fear in a friend's child by accident. Are there activities that you feel like you can't do unless you have kids with you? 

Do you think you can recycle and reuse nudes? Do they have an expiry? Does it matter if they're taken while during the current relationship? Britt and Ben are on different sides of the fence for this one!

We break down the new 'dating terminology' coming to 2025 that includes:

• Swamping
• No-habiting
• Fiscal attraction
• Loud dating
• Marmalading
• Digital ex-pression

Are you meant to say anything to a woman who is pregnant? There is currently a huge amount of commentary about Margot Robbie's pregnant body. But, is this type of commentary only for celebrities and pap pics or do most women receive comments on their body when they're pregnant? 
We speak about how some comments are received in a different way to what they may be intended and how inappropriate some of the common types of comments are.

We also spoke about Kate Winslet being labelled as 'brave' for being okay with her 'belly rolls' being on display during a topless scene in a new film that she stars in. 

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

• Laura has a warning for all the teachers out there - and a confession cough she cheated on her HSC
• Britt's first dance is going to be a disaster
• Mitch wants equality for all women
• Mitch's questionable anniversary
• Your workplace secrets

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Hey Lifers!

PLEASE VOTE FOR US IN THE AUS PODCAST AWARDS

Have you ever developed an allergy later in life? Laura may have developed a new one and it's impacting every aspect of her life and every pore in her body!
Vibes for the week:
Britt - Summer Fridays Jet Lag Mask
Keeshia - Huberman - Esther Perel: How to Find, Build & Maintain Healthy Romantic Relationships
Laura - Into the Fire: The Lost Daughter on Netflix

We mentioned our episode with Esther Perel

Then we jump into the questions:

IS IT BETTER TO TURN A BLIND EYE?
Recently I found texts on my boyfriend of 5 years phone that appear to be organising to have sex with a sex worker, as well as messaging other girls to meet him out while he was working in another country (I don’t know if this ever eventuated). We don’t see each other much as I work in Aus and he works overseas for a lot of the year. He has a much higher sex drive than me and long distance/not much sex doesn’t bother me but it really bothers him. I haven’t told my boyfriend I know this yet and I haven’t told any family or friends. I know as soon as I tell anyone they will hate him and tell me the things that I would tell anyone else - to break up with him. The problem is I’m 30 next year, I want to have a baby in the next two years andI  had my life pretty much sorted with him on paper. He has his faults but he is my best friend. The thing is, he makes an enormous amount of money and I don’t. In our future I know my children will be looked after and they won’t have to struggle. I know I won’t have to struggle. I come from a family who doesn’t have a lot of money and being with my boyfriend means I know I can take care of them better than if I’m single. Right now I don’t know whether to confront my boyfriend because I know as soon as I say this out loud I can’t take it back and it will mean that I have to break up with him as cheating is not something I want in a relationship. Is it morally wrong to just look the other way because of the benefits this relationship brings me, my family and my future family? 

I know this seems like an obvious answer but I know how hard life can be and being with him means my life will in some ways be easier with him in it. Or if this will always be in the back of my mind and ruin my happiness even with the security it brings. Help. Please. I feel like I’m old, have nothing to show for myself and I’m scared I’ll never be a mother if we break up now. 

HOW TO CHOOSE WEDDING LOCATION WHEN FAMILY ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF AUS
I have recently got engaged and we have already started talking about when and where as these are the biggest questions we have to answer. We would like to have it maybe this time next year to allow people interstate and international sort their lives out to come. Now the big question is, where? My family is all east of Australia and we live in WA. My fiancé’s immediate family is here in WA as well. Our friends are in WA. I have family that are elderly and wouldn’t be able to travel. We have brought up the subject with my fiancés parents and my MIL didn’t have a very good reaction which I knew would happen. How do I say that I don’t know how long my elderly family members will be with us and I want them at my wedding as they mean so much to me. How do I approach this topic and not seem like I’m being a bridezilla making us have our wedding east? Or do we elope and have two parties one east and one west?

DO I TELL HER THAT HER HUSBAND IS CHEATING?
I'm in a tough situation and need some advice. I overheard my partner talking about a night out where one of his coworkers cheated on his partner, who is home with their 6-month-old baby. I feel awful for the woman and want to tell her, but I don't know her or her partner, and my partner would be furious if he knew I was eavesdropping. On top of that, if I say something, it could put my partner in a difficult position since the cheater is connected to management. I can't shake the feeling that I need to do something, but I’m worried about the consequences for everyone involved. What should I do?
We got some additional info - the partner works FIFO and was disturbed when he heard the coworker say that he had been cheating.

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Dr. Louise Newson is a leading expert in the field of menopause and perimenopause. She's a GP, menopause specialist, educator, podcaster and author. She’s the woman in the know of menopause and today we would like to break down the misunderstandings, myths, misconceptions and medical misogyny surrounding menopause.

In this chat we speak about:

• Changing hormones & how it affects our brains and behaviour
• The tendency for medications like antidepressants or sleeping tablets to be prescribed
• How the labelling of menopause doesn’t really mean anything
• How the loss of ‘zest’ for life impacts their relationships
• What type of hormones are safe to take for HRT and contraception
• What lifestyle factors largely affect hormones
• Whether other conditions like PCOS, endometriosis or diabetes can change the onset or ‘severity’ of menopause

You can find the episode on PMDD that we mentioned here - PMDD

You can find everything from Dr Louise Newson including her resources, podcast and book here! Dr Louise Newson's Website

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Hey Lifers,

PLEASE VOTE FOR US IN THE AUS PODCAST AWARDS

Britt's jet lagged after her trip to Romania. It was somewhat eventful and she's now an experienced quake girly. Laura's daughter Marlie is about to graduate from preschool and we're curious to know what your graduation song was. Was it Green Day or... eye of the tiger?
Now that Laura has had a week off and Marlie Mae is about to go to school, she's back considering having another child. Britt is strongly considering blackmail! If you already have kids and you’ve thought about having another, did you mention it to your kids? Did you want their thoughts on whether they’d like an extra sibling?

A dating app has brought in a new feature to try and reduce dating fatigue and avoid analysis paralysis. Hinge will now stop you from matching with someone new if you have 8 or more messages waiting for a response from you. 
The idea is to make it a more conscious effort and only have a few conversations going at a time. If you're in the dating world, is this good news for you?
Do you think it will cut down on people 'window shopping' or just swiping for validation?

We spoke about the episode we did with Therapy Jeff - Why Is Dating So Hard These Days?

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Hey lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. This episode was recorded a week in advance as Britt is visiting Ben in Romania. Britt opens up about some of the challenges of long distance and what she’s really struggling with at the moment.

Britt has also called one of our listeners a loser. We deeply apologise YourGirlSidney

Do you think it’s okay to be in a relationship if you know that the person isn’t ‘the one’ (or end game) for you? How long is it okay to be ‘working’ this out? Does it depend on the age of the people in the relationship?

Vibes for the week:

Britt: Your Girl Sidney 

Keeshia: Medusa Wispy Light Human Hair Fringe - Air Bangs- Clip In

Laura App Eat Club

Then we get into your questions!

HE WON’T GO DOWN ON ME & DOESN’T MAKE AN EFFORT TO PLEASURE ME
I'm 21 and my male partner is 23. We have been together for 3 years. Since we have been together he has only gone down on me maybe 3 times in total for about 20 seconds. I have brought this up with him and asked why he doesn't do it and he replies with "I don't like it sorry" which is totally fine but when we do have sex I never get anything out of it as he never really tries to pleasure me. We have tried sex toys but I think he gets awkward about it and then it never happens again. I talk to my friends about it but all they say is tell me that my relationship is not right and tell me about how good they have it. Sometimes I wonder what I am missing out on. Every other part of our relationship is amazing because he is an amazing human who I love so much. Am I missing out ? And if so what the hell do I do?

HE LIED ABOUT HAVING AN STI
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 7-8months. He asked me to help him with a work medical claim, he sent over a pack of documents for me to read to help him write a letter. Reading the documents it said he had herpes. When we first started dating I made sure we both had sexual health checks - he was pushing to have sex without a condom, something I’ve never done and didn’t feel comfortable doing without the STI checks prior. The tests came back with no issues flagged so we started having unprotected sex. 7 months later I read this document - he said initially that “he forgot,” then ended up telling me he lied to me because he thought I would break up with him if I knew. Additional context: his previous girlfriend gave him herpes and also didn’t tell him until 2 months into dating. I don’t know what to do - I thought this guy was my penguin, help!

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WITH A COLLEAGUE
Should I enter a short term friends with benefits situation with a colleague that’s leaving at the end of the year even though I’m inexperienced and not sure how I’ll emotionally handle it? I think it could be a great idea for my overall satisfaction and self confidence, but I don't want to get rejected, or catch feelings and then get really sad when I’m rejected and/or he moves away. Is it worth the risk for good sex?

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Before being known as Danielle Laidley, she was a hugely successful AFL player and played 151 games for West Coast Eagles and North Melbourne football clubs, and winning premierships  and going onto be the youngest senior coach ever at 36, coaching North Melbourne for 149 games across seven seasons from 2003 to 2009.

For decades, Danielle kept her gender to herself and threw herself into sporting success and became a workaholic. Eventually the pain of keeping this secret led to some dark coping mechanisms like substance abuse. 

In May, 2020, a police officer took a photo of Danielle in an interview room at a St Kilda police station while wearing a wig and make-up. This photo was shared in a group chat before it was leaked to the media & the public. 

Now, following her diagnosis with gender dysphoria, Danielle works extensively as an advocate for transgender people, raising awareness in a quest for acceptance of diversity.

In this chat we speak about:

• The different phases of Danielle's life & always knowing who she is
• Growing up in the hyper masculine environments of football and cricket
• How she coped with the public exposure of her transition before she had been able to speak with her family and friends about it
• How the football world has responded to Danielle's transition
• How parents can help support their kids who experience gender dysphoria
• Her beautiful relationship with a woman she's known since grade 1
• Danielle's perspective on transpeople in sport

You can find Danielle's Instagram and book - Don't look away

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Hey lifers,
Keeshia is in the hot seat filling in Britt while she's in Romania.
Have you ever accidentally done something illegal? Laura's renovation project has made Keeshia realise that she's been accidentally shoplifting for over a decade.

Do you ever lie or withhold information from your partner? Do you hide packages or lie about new items that you've bought and say that you've had them forever? There's a tiktok from Thewestcoastmama that has us questioning what's normal and who is in the wrong.

Today we take a deep dive on what friendship means to us and whether we're too quick to deprioritise friendship when other responsibilities rear their heads. 
We spoke about Simon Sinek and his conversation on the Prof G Podcast and his Youtube with Trevor Noah

What are you currently looking for in friendship?
Has that shifted over the years as your life has gone through different chapters?
Is there too much pressure to maintain friendships when there are all of these other things that we are trying to do well?

92% of you have experienced a friendship breakup.

Most of you think about the breakdown of a friendship more than the breakdown of a romantic relationship.

We speak about our own experiences of friendship breakdowns and whether we would ever be able to reestablish those friendships.

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

On the show: 

• Producer Grace gets stopped at security
• Nickname origin stories
• Lola was not writing in her 'diahorrea'
• Massages gone wrong

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Hey lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. Laura and Matt are having some *creative differences* in their house reno visions. Laura wants to live under the rainbow and is anti beige brigade. Matt wants a bright blue laundry. When it comes to the aesthetic of your house and you having opposing opinions to your partner, who gets final say?

Vibes for this week:
Keeshia: Perfect Wife on Disney Plus
Laura: Figma Colour Wheel
Britt: Tanologist Self Tan Drops

Then we get into your questions!
DO WE STILL HAVE TO GET THEM A WEDDING GIFT
One of my closest friends is getting married in Canada, I am one of her bridesmaids and I am so stoked for it. Obviously to go to the wedding my partner and I have booked flights over to Canada (not cheap) and also booked the hotel that was chosen for the wedding party (also not cheap). I don’t mind about these costs because it's my close friend and it's a holiday to Canada! My partner and I have debated whether we should get them a wedding gift? I don’t mind getting one and like giving gifts, but my partner thinks we have already spent a lot of money going to the wedding. I’m curious to know what you guys think? Should you get someone a wedding gift if you have already invested $4,000 to get to the wedding and stay there.

DO I DOUBLE MESSAGE HIM?
My now ex boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago after I found out he was cheating on me. It was awful as we lived together and I went to uni not only with him but also with the other women. We were together for 3 years. Another guy I also go to uni with and used to date 5 years ago (my ex was aware and they were still really good friends) also broke up with his girlfriend he dated for a similar amount of time. We have always been friends ever since the breakup and I was also friends with his ex girlfriend. Fast forward to now, I am now a lawyer and finished with uni and don’t have to see my ex except at social occasions. I have caught up with this other guy a couple of times and we have had a vibe for about a month now. On Saturday he invited me to his house with a bunch of other lawyers from uni including my ex. After a lot of alcohol my ex and the other people left and this other guy asked me to stay and chat which I did. One thing led to another and we had sex and it was really good. He also said he really enjoyed it. I stayed the night where we hugged. He made me coffee and breakfast in the morning and took me home. A few hours after he dropped me off I messaged him and said thank you for dropping me off and I had fun last night. He read the message and still hasn’t replied, in the whole 5 years I have known him he has never left me on read. I don’t want to come across as desperate but do I double message him? I still have his clothes and don’t know what to do. It’s also not like we will never see each other again, we have lots of mutual friends and are both invited to another party this weekend. Please help!

PUBIC HAIR
I’ve always been curious how females maintain pubic hair?? My husband says he doesn’t care whether it’s bare or hairy .. but I still can’t figure out what I prefer either … like what’s the norm these days? Completely bare or hairy and how do you maintain and how often?

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