Lit AF Relationships

On today’s episode of Lit AF Relationships, Anna Lum shares her story about creating secure attachment after a breakup. She shares how she healed her anxious preoccupied attachment style that was triggered in her last relationship. She talks about the steps she took to heal her attachment style and how she is sharing needs, processing emotions, and communicating boundaries. We go deep about the particular day when she start communicating boundaries without any resistance and how she developed her relationship with herself. 

Anna’s info: What’s up y’all, I’m Anna! I’m a Sacramento barber that specializes in cutting straight hair as well as longer styles. Sarah has helped me tremendously in my journey in healing my anxious attachment. Because of the work we’ve done together, I’ve been able to understand and communicate my needs, fulfill my own needs, self soothe, and overall show up more authentically in my life. Building a better relationship to myself and healing my attachment has giving me a huge uptick in all areas of my life. I would highly recommend getting into this work for anyone wanting to improve their quality of life! If you’re interested in more of the work that I do, my instagram and tik tok handle is @anna.cutz . Thanks for tuning into our podcast! :) 

If you’re interested in learning how to process emotions so you can communicate needs directly and effectively book a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. Book your free discovery call here: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Follow Anna on Instagram: @anna.cutz

Visit Anna’s website: https://booksy.com/en-us/668595_anna-cutz_barber-shop_119498_elk-grove

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

For today’s episode I’m re-airing a recent In My Non-Expert Opinion podcast episode with me as a guest. Chelsea Riffe hosts the podcast and she shares how she healed her anxious attachment in her dating life.

We cover all things attachment on this episode including a deep dive into all the attachment styles including anxious preoccupied, dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant, and secure attachment. We discuss the common anxious-avoidant relationship dynamic and what to do when you find yourself in this situation. Chelsea shares about how discovering her needs has helped her become more secure in her relationship to herself.

My favorite thing about this episode is how much Chelsea shares about healing her own anxious preoccupied attachment style. It’s really powerful and will hopefully help you on your attachment healing journey.

If you’re interested in ending old relationship patterns like people-pleasing and hoping your partner will read your mind book a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. Book the call here: Discovery call link: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Listen to In My Non-Expert Opinion podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/46sFOpt34jKVVmbWZVM2FH?si=77abf326c3484b83

Follow Chelsea Riffe on Instagram: @chelseariffe: https://www.instagram.com/chelseariffe/

Visit Chelsea Riffe’s website: https://www.chelseariffe.com/

Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

Download my free relationship scripts: https://www.sarahcohan.com/freetools

In this episode I talk about how to overcome chronic feelings of guilt and shame. First of all, if this is you, I want you to know that this is so common. Both fearful avoidants and dismissive avoidants often tend towards feelings of guilt and shame. I share a few examples of how you can catch this habit, it might be showing up in a sneaky way you don’t even realize. I then finish the episode with two easy tools to use to start moving towards compassion for yourself. The second tool is one of my favorite questions that I like to ask clients. Listen in to stop these feelings and move towards a more loving way to treat yourself. Relief is possible!

If you’re interested in showing up securely in new or existing relationships book a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit you. You’ll also learn what relief is possible for you custom tailored to your unique attachment style. Here’s the link to book the call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

Discovery call link: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Are you spending alot of time fantasizing about your ex? Do you wish they would call or you could get back together? Are you the one that did the breaking up and you’re still thinking about them? It might be surprising to hear that this is actually common. In this episode I share a few sneaky ways your brain might be fantasizing about your ex without you even realizing it, hello Instagram stories! The good news is that your brain is both really smart and also really simple. You’ll learn a few tools to help your brain stop thinking about your ex, for good, that don’t involve willpower or a social media strike.

If you’re interested in overcoming old relationship patterns like people pleasing, codependency, and lack of boundaries book a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. Here’s the link to book: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

On today’s episode, I share what the 1% better habit that each attachment type can take today to see massive results created in a year. This episode is based on the concept of 1% better from James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits. In this chart-topping book Clear writes that, "Improving by 1% isn’t particularly notable, sometimes it isn’t even noticeable, but it can be far more meaningful – especially in the long run." Inspired by this concept I share what each attachment type can do today to be 1% closer to secure attachment. I know it sounds slow and boring but 1% adds up quickly and before you know it you’ll be making secure decisions in all of your relationships. This episode includes suggestions for all attachment types including fearful avoidant, anxious preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and secure. Listen to find out the 1% habit you can start today.

If you’re interested in communicating needs and boundaries in your relationships whether you’re single or partnered book a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. Link to book a free discovery call here: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

Discovery call link: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

In this episode I share scripts to use when you are asking a loved one to meet a need without a feeling like a burden. Asking for a need to be met can be really hard. But part of becoming more secure means sharing vulnerably about how you’re feeling and asking your loved one for support. In this episode I share why it’s important to ask for your needs to be met and what repair means. I explain how to use the five languages not as a ranking system but as a quick reference point to figure out what you need to feel better. Then I share scripts for each love language to ask for what you need. You can download the scripts here: https://www.sarahcohan.com/freetools

If you’re interested in learning how to communicate needs and boundaries book a discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. Book the discovery call here: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

Is it possible to change your attachment style is one of the most common questions about the attachment system. In today’s episode I share the truth that yes, it is possible to change your attachment style. It can be a little confusing at first what behavior is associated with earned secure. I share a few behavioral patterns that show you are on the right track towards healing your attachment style. And I share my number one tip for starting to heal your attachment style. Listen to find out!

If you’re interested in ending old patterns like people-pleasing and codependency book a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. You can have healthy and safe relationships in your life in the near future. Link to book the discovery call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

In this episode of Lit AF Relationships I share about how perfectionism shows up in dating and in relationships. This episode is a really personal share because I talk about the belief I held in the beginning of my marriage that fights and arguments were a sign that we weren’t meant to be together. I often ruminated about divorce. Sometimes it still comes up. But I share a few tools of how to notice and address perfectionism when you scrolling on the dating apps or in a relationship with someone.

If you’re interested in ending old relationship patterns like people pleasing and not asking for your needs to be met schedule a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. Link to book the call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

On today’s episode I explore what secure attachment actually looks like. I had some pretty interesting misconceptions about how secure folx showed up in relationships and I hilariously share them with you today. I also talk about what it’s like to date someone with secure attachment. It can be pretty strange and your nervous system might not be used to it. You might be wondering why you don’t have those butterflies in your stomach when you’re around someone secure. I also talk about what it’s like to be securely attached while dating someone with an insecure attachment style. I share a few tips on how to show up for them in a healthy way. This is the final episode of a four part series exploring in depth the common patterns that four different attachment styles experience. Check out the previous three episode to hear more about the different attachment types.

If you’re interested in ending old relationship patterns like people-pleasing and codependency book a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. Link to book a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

On today’s episode I talk about the patterns behind the anxious preoccupied attachment style. Our attachment styles show us how we relate to others and what strategies we use to keep ourselves safe in relationships. It is possible to change your attachment style. And it’s also possible to help your partner become more secure by showing up securely in the relationship. In this episode, I share the common patterns that the anxious preoccupied experiences. I also share how you can help them show up more securely. 

If you’re interested in ending old relationship patterns like people-pleasing or codependency book a free discovery call to learn if my relationship and communication 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. Click here to book a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/