Live IFS

By Internal Family Systems SessionsHealth & Fitness Mental Health

Live IFS episodes

May 13, 2023 229: Justine A. revisits
🔸 Judgement and the parts stifling it. “Relaxing into love with somebody is too dangerous”, “no man can be trusted”*
*Justine says I may have edited-out more detail than necessary on this one, including these quotes that reveal the topic.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Audio-only is most challenging when I provoke exiles. Face-to-face, I tend to get quiet, rely on facial expressions to do a lot of the communicating.
How can I convey that through the mic? *Not* by rushing in with “Oh I'm so sorry, poor thing”. And it doesn't feel right to manufacture non-verbals that I've never used before. I don't know.
-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord
🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:
Itunes
YouTube
How to leave a review - iPhone
👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire
1 hr 2 min
May 11, 2023228: Mio A. revisits
🔸 The youngest part, a baby frozen in fear. Can Mio help without knowing the history?
🔹 Parts:
The world is not safe, nobody will come to help, I have to do it myself, taking-in is dangerous, they’ll take it all away from me

Can't stop crying

Yearns to relax, be warm, be held.

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord
🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:
Itunes
YouTube
How to leave a review - iPhone
1 hr 7 min
May 09, 2023227: Theresa A. revisits
🔸 Influence, "going along with things I didn't want to do." "I didn't think those other things had anything to do with this..."
🔹 Parts:
P: The wall. No is the answer. Rigid. I dont need anything except you to listen. Integrity, protecting others. Gut, cramps(?), clenched jaw.

E: Dragged and trampled. 17 first shitty boyfriend. Age 12 "first real boyfriend", too physical. "Dramatic" Influencable.

P: Just needs to be listened to.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Felt a little risky with the amount of repeating and hypothesizing I was doing, but it paid off. I could have left it at protector wanting to protect others, but I'm going with the theory that protectors don't exist without exiles.
Theresa followed up:
I love listening back to these, it really solidifies the messages from the parts, and reawakens my interest in them. I love my "fuck em" part, and indeed have since listened to something it and my therapist told me to do: unfriend and block a few people from my past on social media (to include several of the people who were mentioned in this session). There was a part who believed that was "unevolved", "petty" or "immature", or that you only do that if someone is stalking you. That part now understands that boundaries are none of those things, and that "psychic stalking" counts too, and there's no obligation to remain connected in ANY way, to anyone who upsets the system like those folks do. Keeping those ties was all about what other people might think. And you know what the "fuck em" part would have to say about that. 😄
I'm looking forward to hearing the session that came before this one.My 4yo kid with BIG FEELINGS is still having a ball, making stops for ice cream in our muscle car. 🍦 and yelling the song of our people: WE'VE GOT BIG FEELINGS SO DEAL WITH IT!
while victoriously holding our arms up through the T Top. 🌈

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord
🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:
Itunes
YouTube
How to leave a review - iPhone
👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire
1 hr 2 min
May 07, 2023226: Olivia A. revisits
🔸 Body image, attractiveness, weight, exiles, and the joy of sadness.
🔹 Parts:
Manager, fears it can't do its job with conflicting info

Panic about panicking

Not wanting to grieve

E: 15-17yo "filling out", clothes dont fit

E: 8/9-11yo Don't want to be like mom, dread "when's it going to happen". Nonperson if not attractive. Invisible. Terrifying no control over destiny. Depressed

E: 4yo Confusion, don't want to look like a guy

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Feeling more centered. Glad neither of our agenda parts were disappointed about just glimpsing exiles.
-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord
🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:
Itunes
YouTube
How to leave a review - iPhone
👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire
1 hr 18 min
May 05, 2023225: Daniel A. revisits
🔸 Two calls in one:
1. Not really an IFS call, just an update on how Daniel's doing.
2. Going with the flow didnt work, The Control Nazi defending from chaos, the survival shit show, but afraid of judgement.
🔹 Parts:
P: Control nazi, structure, rather be empire building. Thinks he’s in late teens.

The judge of many parts, of structure: why aren’t we further along?

The people pleaser

The exile of worthlessness connected to fear of failing if switch jobs, and also behind the people pleaser

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Interesting. Because of scheduling issues, we only had 40 minutes to talk (in the second call)
It’s common for us to spend 40 minutes getting past protectors, and often at least one of us is feeling drained by that point. When we have attempted to go to exiles, often the combined self energy isn't as strong as needed.
The time constraint here seemed to help. We'll see next call, if we do start with that exile as intended. Regardless, it’s a nice feeling, optimism about trying something new.

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form

😀Come chat with us: Discord

🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:

Itunes

YouTube

How to leave a review - iPhone
👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire
57 min
May 03, 2023224: Justine A. revisits
🔸 "You're making this up!" Head-to-head with the cynical skeptic.
🔹 Parts:
The skeptic. Repeats "you're making it up", a mask of cruelty.

Afraid of "going in". "It will be too much."

Thinks she's 7. Alone, not seen, not got.

Wants to be touched, wants Justine to stay in Self, not to push, one step at a time.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I was extra slow and quiet. Almost feel like I could have said even less, though. Did I do anything? I got a good feeling about this...

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form

😀Come chat with us: Discord

🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:

Itunes

YouTube

How to leave a review - iPhone
👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire
49 min
May 01, 2023223: Mio A. revisits
🔸 The fear of sex & intimacy; too painful & shameful to explore for the protector-protector.
🔹 Parts:
The wall, the fortress. Protecting from the hoard of hurtful voices (including mother's), they cause panic and helplessness.

Rather be relaxing, having tea, reading a book

Thinks she's 30 and thinks she thinks she's 30!

Needs assurance that Mio will go to parts with compassion, and with curiosity, to see past their actions and in to their intentions.

Agree this will be a lot of "work", we'll take this slow.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I talked too much, maybe derailed us a few times, explained/assumed when I could have asked. Something about this stage in my relationship with clients that I feel emboldened to demonstrate that indeed, I only need to be *sorta* trustworthy. It's like, if I'm a driving instructor, and I see they've got it, now I can roll down the window, start cracking jokes. Not saying it's wise or skillful... Or that it's not.
-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord
🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:
Itunes
YouTube
How to leave a review - iPhone
👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire
1 hr 7 min
April 29, 2023222: Theresa A. revisits
🔸 Unburdening an exile behind "Quitting weed and alcohol will make me boring."
🔹 Parts:
PvP: Be structured vs be fun. Concerns about how sobriety will affect friendship. And if you take away something fun, you have to add something else... but that takes planning.

P: "Oh god here we go again with the emotions". Exposure. People will judge.

E: Lonely, The trembling child with an adult's face. Multiple ages, but seemed to narrow to around 3 or 5. "Big emotions are not ok", have to go to your room to cry. Rather be driving, leave it all behind.

P: Doubts about direction, progress of the work. Snippets of memories = avoiding the full scene.

P/E?: Theresa saw multiple older versions of herself trying to comfort exile. (I think probably all protectors, caretakers, perhaps themselves in exile)

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
All-day headache took me down 20%. Theresa picked up the slack.

Theresa followed up with: That was great. And kindof hilarious? As we walked out of my parents house to get in this muscle car, she made me go over to each of my parents so she could “boop” their noses with her little fingertip. that was why I started laughing to myself at what otherwise felt like a heavy moment. Can’t make this shit up. Thanks James.

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord
🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:
Itunes
YouTube
How to leave a review - iPhone
👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire
1 hr 2 min
April 27, 2023221: Jo A. revisits
🔸 Anxiety, “no time for self care”, from a part we haven't met before?
🔹 Parts:
Anxious, buzzy productive

Afraid of loneliness that leads to worthlessness

Rather be relaxing or dancing

Age 25!

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
A different energy today, not sure what to attribute that to, I think I was in a decent place, had time to prepare, and Jo also mentioned feeling relatively good.
-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord
🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:
Itunes
YouTube
How to leave a review - iPhone
👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire
48 min
April 25, 2023220: Rosie A. revisits
🔸 Frustration takes credit for all important work. The exiles must wait.
🔹 Parts:
E1: Panic when "they're not even trying to understand me" (also triggered in our last convo)

E2: Sullen and shut down when nothing is good enough

Ps: The parade of anxious ones. "Don't know how to give space"

P: Perhaps the biggest boss(?), Frustration, who pushes past anxious parts when important shit needs to get done. Thinks she's 18.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Our last convo 2 months ago involved a rupture between us, and we hadn't really talked it through till this morning over text. That went well. But we both had parts anxious about talking today.
Rosie followed up: "Was able to make contact with the one in a panic about not being understood, and tell her I’m sorry no one understood her, and not only were her needs not met, but she was rejected for even trying/expressing. I really understood the experience and impact of that for her as an infant. She received my understanding and love. Not sure how to unburden but it was good"

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord
🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:
Itunes
YouTube
How to leave a review - iPhone
👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire
1 hr 4 min