In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by my husband Jared Brady to tell the story of the exact day we decided to call our relationship an open relationship.

Want to take the Relationship Style quiz I mentioned in the episode? Click HERE
https://www.loversbyshan.com/quizzes

In this episode, Shan Boodram and Jared Brady share intimate details from the early days of their relationship that led to them choosing to label their love as an open relationship.

If your first reaction to “open relationship” is “so… cheating?” you’re not alone, and this conversation is also for you.

Cheating isn’t about a specific behavior, it’s about breaking the rules of the relationship you agreed to play by, which is why it’s important to clearly define YOUR rules together. 

This episode explores why people seek structured relationships even without exclusivity, what commitment actually looks like when it isn’t defined by romantic restriction, and how accountability, emotional safety, partnership, and love can exist outside traditional scripts.

This isn’t an episode about convincing anyone to open their relationship. It’s about clarity, consent, and understanding why the rules matter more than the label.

MasterClass
Have you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at masterclass.com/lovers.

Follow Jared
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA

Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships. Damage doesn’t have to be.

In this episode, we explore what actually separates fights that bring couples closer from fights that quietly turn lovers into enemies. We talk about the moment arguments go sideways, why so many conflicts feel bigger than the issue at hand, and how couples can stay on the same team even when they fundamentally disagree.

Our guest, Touré Neblett, draws on decades of navigating high-stakes, contentious conversations both publicly and privately to share what he’s learned about emotional regulation, repair, and conflict inside a long-term marriage. This conversation focuses on how disagreement can exist without contempt, and how learning to fight differently can fundamentally change the trajectory of a relationship.

Follow Touré
Website → https://toure.com Toure
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/toureshow/ Instagram
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo-SwvkGbQgDt3oXfASPPJQ youtube.com
Podcast → Touré Show (Apple/Spotify)
Books → Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? What It Means to Be Black Now; I Would Die 4 U: Why Prince Became an Icon; Soul City; Never Drank the Kool-Aid; The Portable Promised Land; Nothing Compares 2 U (available on Amazon and major booksellers)

Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, I share the deeper psychological lessons inside the new Diddy documentary, not to debate guilt or innocence, but to understand the human systems that create cycles of power, harm, silence, and attachment. This isn’t a Hollywood story or an industry story. It’s a human story. The documentary made Diddy feel more human rather than less, and that’s what makes it so unsettling. When you look closely at the incentives, the grooming, the rewards, the fear, the validation, and the primal drives behind the behavior, you start to see a spectrum that exists in all of us — the universal instincts for status, belonging, intimacy, dominance, and connection.

I also talk about Cassie, Kirk Burrowes, and the partners who stayed inside that ecosystem, not to blame but to understand the psychological gravity of coercive control. When we understand the forces acting on people — the love-bombing, the fear, the dependency, the identity fusion — we gain clarity on why people stay, why people participate, and why some people break free. This video is ultimately about human nature, accountability, restraint, and how to build relationships where love and power don’t collapse into each other.

If you or someone you care about has experienced sexual assault or abuse, you are not alone. For confidential, 24/7 support from trained specialists, visit RAINN: https://rainn.org/

In an emergency, dial 911 or seek help from someone you trust.

Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com

Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes 

Did you know, in 2023, more than 39,000 people were diagnosed with HIV in the United States and six territories, with Hispanic and Black individuals each accounting for more than a third (Source. CDC)

In this episode of LOVERS, Shan sits down with Jonathan Van Ness for a conversation about receiving an HIV diagnosis, the years he kept it private, and the moment he decided he wanted the story to come from him. Jonathan shares what it felt like to catch himself holding back during interviews, how choosing to speak changed his relationship with his own truth, and the sense of relief that followed once he stopped protecting something that shaped so much of his life.

They also talk about the realities of HIV today, why knowing your status matters, and how tools like PrEP fit into the larger picture of staying informed and reducing stigma.

Follow Jonathan Van Ness
Website → https://jonathanvanness.com/
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/jvn
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/jvn
JVN Hair → https://jvnhair.com/
Podcast → https://jonathanvanness.com/podcasts/
Books → https://jonathanvanness.com/books/

Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RYU, our little munchkin just turned FIVE!
And while Thanksgiving week is here, Jared and I felt like it was the perfect moment to sit together and talk about being parents. 

Somewhere between the sleepless nights, tiny victories, meltdown moments, and unexpected laughter, Ryu taught us something surprising: sometimes, love is giving someone your dirty socks.

(It’s her quote, and honestly… she’s not wrong.)

Together, we explore:
✨ How becoming parents reshapes the way you love and the way you’re loved
✨ The unexpected emotional cost and reward of raising strong-willed children
✨ A reflection on why we are the way we are

A conversation for anyone navigating love, partnership, and the wild joy of raising tiny humans.

—
⭐ Follow Jared
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady/?hl=en

Music Monday
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA


⭐ Want more Lovers?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of LOVERS, Shan sits down with singer and songwriter Sabrina Claudio for a conversation about heartbreak, loneliness, friendship, and the lessons that shaped her new album.

Sabrina talks openly about how loneliness can quietly influence decisions, including staying in relationships that feel draining. She shares what it was like to feel isolated even while partnered, why she struggled to speak up about what she was going through, and how she eventually chose to walk away. We also explore the idea of emotional detox, the feeling of carrying someone long after the relationship ends, and the moment she realized she needed to release what was weighing her down.

If you have ever tried to heal while still holding on, or wondered why connection sometimes feels complicated, this conversation offers insight and companionship.

Referenced in this episode: Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Systems Theory — the idea that our development is shaped by multiple layers of environment (from family + friends all the way to culture + society).

Follow Sabrina Claudio
Sabrina’s short film Fall In Love With Her
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/sabrinaclaudio
Twitter → https://twitter.com/sabrinaclaudio
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/c/SabrinaClaudio
Website → https://www.sabrinaclaudio.co

Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this intimate London-based episode of LOVERS, Shan sits down with the legendary storyteller and pleasure educator Seema Anand, the woman who transformed shame into sacred power.

From being judged and silenced for her fascination with the Kama Sutra to becoming its most celebrated modern interpreter, Seema shares how self-love became her act of rebellion. Together, we talk about:

✨ Growing up rebelling against libertine attitudes and then discovering Tantra
✨ The link between shame, sensuality, and self-expression
✨ Why women still feel guilt for wanting pleasure
✨ The truth behind the Kama Sutra’s ancient wisdom
✨ How to fall in love with yourself — unapologetically in your sixties or at any age

This episode was inspired by our collaboration jewelry line KAMA, created to remind women to prioritize pleasure — in bed and beyond. Each piece is designed to honor the art of connection and confidence. In collaboration with Surmeyi, our Käma collection celebrates women’s bodies as inseparable from nature, and pleasure as the invisible force balancing the universe. Get your jewelry today:

💎 The entire KAMA jewelry line is now back in stock for the holidays.
 Shop the collection: https://surmeyi.com/kama

Also Seema’s brand new book Speak Easy is now available for preorder
https://www.amazon.in/Speak-Easy-Field-Longing-Intimacy/dp/9361319337

Interested in getting expert help spicing up your intimate life? Learn more about Arya, the couples subscription service that helps you make breaking the routine your new and exciting routine. Everyone is a lil kinky, and we all need help discovering ours - let Arya do all the hard work so you can focus on the fun part.
http://arya.fyi/shan


Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com 
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community 
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Ro for sponsoring this video. Connect with a provider at https://ro.co/lovers to find out if prescription Ro Sparks are right for you.

In collaboration with Seema Anand and Surmeyi, our Käma collection celebrates women’s bodies as inseparable from nature, and pleasure as the invisible force balancing the universe. Get your jewelry today:
https://surmeyi.com/collections/kama 
-----
Sacred, spicy, and still timeless — we had to bring this one back.

Shan sat down with artist Tanerélle to dive deep into the world of sacred sexuality and conscious intimacy.

Sacred sexuality is more than physical pleasure; it’s an intentional way of connecting through energy, presence, and deep emotional awareness. From gentle touch and stillness to moments of shared breath and meditation, it invites a kind of connection that transcends the body and opens the heart.

This mindful practice can lead to profound release, heightened pleasure, and a fuller experience of intimacy, from multiple or non-ejaculatory orgasms for men to expansive, layered sensations for women.

Plus, Brenden Durell joins to guide a special class in the LOVERS community. We go over sacred sexuality and breathwork, a transformative session on presence, connection, and embodied pleasure.

Follow Tanerélle
https://www.instagram.com/tanerelle/  

Follow Brenden
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brendendurell/
Website: https://brendendurell.com/ 

Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com 
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community 
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Calm your mind. Change your life. Try Calm by heading to https://calm.yt.link/2lLJh1b.
————————
This week, Shan sits down with Grammy-winning artist Chrisette Michele opens up about being diagnosed with autism as an adult and the way that revelation helped her understand her rhythm, her relationships and what safety really means for her. She shares how music became one of the few places that always made sense, how her mom stood by her through the unknown, and how she finally began to remove the mask and meet herself.

Later, we bring in expert Maria Davis-Pierre, LMHC, founder of Autism in Black, Inc., to guide a deeper conversation around autism, neurodivergence, intimacy, and how we show up for those we love.

Whether you’re neurodivergent, in a relationship with someone who is, or simply want to deepen your understanding, this episode invites you to explore how love, safety, and authenticity coexist.

Follow Chrisette Michele:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisettemichele/
Website:chrisettemichele.com

Follow Maria Davis-Pierre & Autism in Black:
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/autisminblack/
Website: https://www.autisminblack.org/

Sign up for the 5th Annual Autism In Black Conference
Virtual or In-Person Attendance: https://funnel.autisminblack.org/2025-autism-in-black-registration-page?aff=Christina-Schmidt

Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you to Function Health for sponsoring this video! Visit https://functionhealth.yt.link/Eug9eKx or use code LOVERS100 at sign-up to own your health. The first 1000 get a $100 credit toward their membership.
————————

In her mid-30s, Chy Fontenette from Behind the Likes podcast finds herself facing what feels like a full-life reset: a breakup she didn’t choose, friendships shifting as she starts setting boundaries, and a growing awareness of the pain she’s carried for years. Through tears, honesty, and reflection, Chy admits she doesn’t know what’s next,  and Shan reminds her that she’s doing the most important thing of all: staying with herself through it.

This episode is for anyone in that place where everything hurts and nothing feels certain. Shan offers tangible guidance on how to move through the fog, from becoming an archaeologist of your own life (digging up the moments you felt love and success before) to remembering Steve Jobs’ wisdom that you can’t connect the dots looking forward, only backward.

The message is simple: you can’t rush this part. But if you keep caring for yourself, one day you’ll look up and realize, your life doesn’t feel so heavy anymore.

Follow Chy Fontenette!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chy.f/
Listen to her podcast “Behind the Likes”: https://www.behindthelikespodcast.com/

Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.