Loving BDSM

Hosted by both Kayla Lords and John Brownstone, episode six of Loving BDSM focuses on making the switch from a D/s to Daddy Dom/little dynamic.
Many submissives admit to recognizing themselves in the descriptions of littles or babygirls, but say that the Daddy Dom/little (or Mommy/little) dynamic isn’t for them. No, this type of relationship isn’t for everyone, but it doesn’t have to be scary, creepy, or “icky” either. In this episode, we talk about how our thinking changed and then our relationship, making it better than ever.
In this episode:

* Together at last!
* This week’s was episode inspired by feedback from some of Kayla’s articles: Being a Daddy or Little Isn’t About Children
* Misconceptions and lack of knowledge about what being a Daddy or little mean
* How it felt to hear “Daddy” and “babygirl” for the first time
* What being a Daddy means to John
* What being a babygirl means to Kayla
* Don’t worry about labels. All that matters is what feels right for your relationship

Abbreviated Transcript
John Brownstone had much more to stay than this transcript shows. This is from the script we began with. The actual discussion was a bit more involved. If we can ever find a transcription person or program that we can afford, I will update this for you.
KAYLA: You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 6. Today, we’re discussing changing dynamics within your D/s relationship. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here along with, OMG guess who – John Brownstone! Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, then thanks for coming. Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords. And visit John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.
Both John Brownstone – who I’m going to start calling Daddy in this episode or I might start twitching and foaming at the mouth – and I receive questions from kinksters all the time. Most of the time, it’s submissives asking if this thing or that thing in their relationship is okay or normal. But lately, I’ve been hearing from more and more people, again, typically submissives, who are reading articles I’ve written or shared from other writers on being in a Daddy and little relationship. They thank me for reassuring them it’s normal or tell me stories about how they felt like a crazy person and are glad to know the Daddy/little – or in my case, babygirl thing is completely normal and has nothing to do with little kids.
KAYLA: So today, for our first podcast episode together (and OMG, it makes me want to squee that we’re talking to you together like this), we thought we’d talk more in depth about making the switch from our own original dynamic, when he was Sir and I was pet, to where we’re at now, Daddy and babygirl.
Okay, Daddy, you go first. What did you think of the whole Daddy Dom/little thing at first?
JOHN B.: Well I wasn’t sure what to think at first as it was not something I thought about as a dynamic. My previous D/s was more of a Sir and pet with hints of Gor sprinkled in. The first thought that came to mind was role playing and even thoughts of a sugar daddy were what I thought of.
KAYLA: Were you afraid of anything in particular about the dynamic, Daddy?
JOHN B.: I think the main thing I was afraid of when this aspect of being a Daddy was presented to me was that I would be thought o...

This week’s episode, hosted by Kayla Lords, addresses some common questions she receives from submissives about communication with their Dominants. Basically, submissives want to know if certain behaviors are normal or okay. Kayla’s answer? It depends.

There’s no one right answer when you wonder if being ignored, forgotten, or avoided is “normal” or “OK.” Quite frankly, if there’s no explanation for it, the answer is probably, “No, that’s not okay.” In this week’s episode, Kayla shares a few tips and reminders for submissives to help them figure it out for themselves.

From this episode:

* John Brownstone is sick this week (sad face) but you can always stalk him: Southern Sirs Place

* Kayla gets a lot of questions from submissives. Many of them ask the same question: Is this okay or normal?

* When in doubt, listen to your intuition.

* Remember, there are three sides to every situation: yours, theirs, and the truth which usually falls in the middle.

* Most questions are about communication – being ignored or going too long without responses from a Dominant partner.

* Questions to ask yourself when your Dominant doesn’t respond to you: Are they stressed, sick, or are there miles between you?

* Are you simply being impatient or ignoring what your Dominant has said about when and how they’ll communicate?

* Pro Tip: Never assume your Dominant can read your mind. No one can. You have to communicate.

* When in doubt, talk it out.

* Try to figure out what’s causing the problem – or if there is a problem. Then you need to decide what you’re willing to handle or live with.

* Just because you aren’t a good fit with your Dominant doesn’t make them a bad Dominant or you a bad submissive.

* Always feel free to contact Kayla (or John Brownstone) with questions. We will answer you.

Listen on YouTube

 
This week’s episode, hosted by Kayla Lords, addresses some common questions she receives from submissives about communication with their Dominants. Basically, submissives want to know if certain behaviors are normal or okay. Kayla’s answer? It depends.
There’s no one right answer when you wonder if being ignored, forgotten, or avoided is “normal” or “OK.” Quite frankly, if there’s no explanation for it, the answer is probably, “No, that’s not okay.” In this week’s episode, Kayla shares a few tips and reminders for submissives to help them figure it out for themselves.
From this episode:

* John Brownstone is sick this week (sad face) but you can always stalk him: Southern Sirs Place
* Kayla gets a lot of questions from submissives. Many of them ask the same question: Is this okay or normal?
* When in doubt, listen to your intuition.
* Remember, there are three sides to every situation: yours, theirs, and the truth which usually falls in the middle.
* Most questions are about communication – being ignored or going too long without responses from a Dominant partner.
* Questions to ask yourself when your Dominant doesn’t respond to you: Are they stressed, sick, or are there miles between you?
* Are you simply being impatient or ignoring what your Dominant has said about when and how they’ll communicate?
* Pro Tip: Never assume your Dominant can read your mind. No one can. You have to communicate.
* When in doubt, talk it out.
* Try to figure out what’s causing the problem – or if there is a problem. Then you need to decide what you’re willing to handle or live with.
* Just because you aren’t a good fit with your Dominant doesn’t make them a bad Dominant or you a bad submissive.
* Always feel free to contact Kayla (or John Brownstone) with questions. We will answer you.

John Brownstone hosts his first episode of the Loving BDSM podcast. This week’s topic – his personal journey into BDSM and discovering his Dominant self.

In this episode:

* John Brownstone really exists!

* Where he learned about BDSM: Leather and Roses: A BDSM Resource Site

* He writes erotica and gets asked if he’s a Dominant. He says no.

* His wife rejects his kinky desires. He buries that side of himself…for a while.

* People continue to ask him if he’s a Dominant.

* He was a submissive first.

* Then he had his own submissive.

* The Gor books made an impact: Chronicles of Gor by John Norman

* He enters the local BDSM lifestyle.

Everyone’s journey will be different. Realize there will be ups and downs throughout it all. There’s no right or wrong path into BDSM but the willingness to learn, experiment, and explore is necessary.

As always, if you have a question you want answered on the podcast or a topic suggestion, you can contact me or John Brownstone. We’ll answer you directly but we’ll also maintain your anonymity when we discuss it on the show.

Listen on YouTube

 
John Brownstone hosts his first episode of the Loving BDSM podcast. This week’s topic – his personal journey into BDSM and discovering his Dominant self.
In this episode:

* John Brownstone really exists!
* Where he learned about BDSM: Leather and Roses: A BDSM Resource Site
* He writes erotica and gets asked if he’s a Dominant. He says no.
* His wife rejects his kinky desires. He buries that side of himself…for a while.
* People continue to ask him if he’s a Dominant.
* He was a submissive first.
* Then he had his own submissive.
* The Gor books made an impact: Chronicles of Gor by John Norman
* He enters the local BDSM lifestyle.

Everyone’s journey will be different. Realize there will be ups and downs throughout it all. There’s no right or wrong path into BDSM but the willingness to learn, experiment, and explore is necessary.
As always, if you have a question you want answered on the podcast or a topic suggestion, you can contact me or John Brownstone. We’ll answer you directly but we’ll also maintain your anonymity when we discuss it on the show.

Kayla Lords hosts the third episode of Loving BDSM. This week’s topic: what does a good Dominant look like? And no, we’re not talking physical features.

Instead of focusing on the bad Doms, this episode celebrates the good ones out there. They don’t have all the same traits and everyone wants and needs something a little different, but if your Dominant possesses even a few of these traits, you’ve probably got yourself a good one.

From this episode:

* Stalk John Brownstone online at southernsirsplace.com

* The warnings about the bad Dominants are important but we should also celebrate the good Dominants

* Kayla doesn’t like the term “true” Dominant

* “Good” has nothing to do with looks, gender, sexuality, race, or any other physical characteristic.

* Some traits include patience, thoughtfulness, stability, and focus – among others.

As always, if you have a question you want answered on the podcast or a topic suggestion, you can always contact me or John Brownstone. We’ll answer you directly but we’ll also maintain your anonymity when we discuss it on the show.

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to the Loving BDSM podcast: episode 3. Today we’re talking about what a good Dominant looks like. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. (John Brownstone has promised to make an appearance soon, and I’m holding him to it! Just not today.) Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, then thanks for coming. The Loving BDSM podcast is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes (once we’re approved). You can also follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.

So today we’re talking about what makes a good Dominant.

Anyone who talks about BDSM and D/s spends a lot of time talking about the posers, wannabes, and fake Dominants. John Brownstone and myself included. Part of it is out of necessity. Every single day I come across someone who dropped every bit of common sense in the name of submission – these people need to hear and read the warnings about shitty wannabes who think that throwing out an order and smacking an ass equal Dominance.

Part of it, though, is because it’s just easier to talk about. The bad ones do very common things – lie, cheat, become violent, ignore consent. You name it. They were assholes before they discovered BDSM. Now they’re just assholes with a title and too many eager and willing victims.

What we don’t talk a lot about is what makes a good Dominant. What does one look like? It’s a harder picture to paint simply because we all want and need something a little different.

But I like a challenge. And sometimes I get tired of scaring people (no matter how needed it may be). Instead, I’d rather celebrate the good Dominants of the world. Everyone is a work in progress and your results might vary, but I believe regardless of gender, sexuality, race, looks, height, weight, whatever a good Dominant will have some if not all of these characteristics.

Oh, and for the record, I don’t like the term “true” Dominant unless I’m comparing the real thing to the abusive asshole who uses Fetlife as a hunting ground. Good Dominants, though, are very real. Bad Dominants either have their own issues to work on or just need more ed...

Kayla Lords hosts the third episode of Loving BDSM. This week’s topic: what does a good Dominant look like? And no, we’re not talking physical features.
Instead of focusing on the bad Doms, this episode celebrates the good ones out there. They don’t have all the same traits and everyone wants and needs something a little different, but if your Dominant possesses even a few of these traits, you’ve probably got yourself a good one.
From this episode:

* Stalk John Brownstone online at southernsirsplace.com
* The warnings about the bad Dominants are important but we should also celebrate the good Dominants
* Kayla doesn’t like the term “true” Dominant
* “Good” has nothing to do with looks, gender, sexuality, race, or any other physical characteristic.
* Some traits include patience, thoughtfulness, stability, and focus – among others.


As always, if you have a question you want answered on the podcast or a topic suggestion, you can always contact me or John Brownstone. We’ll answer you directly but we’ll also maintain your anonymity when we discuss it on the show.
 
Full Transcript:
You’re listening to the Loving BDSM podcast: episode 3. Today we’re talking about what a good Dominant looks like. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. (John Brownstone has promised to make an appearance soon, and I’m holding him to it! Just not today.) Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, then thanks for coming. The Loving BDSM podcast is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes (once we’re approved). You can also follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.
So today we’re talking about what makes a good Dominant.
Anyone who talks about BDSM and D/s spends a lot of time talking about the posers, wannabes, and fake Dominants. John Brownstone and myself included. Part of it is out of necessity. Every single day I come across someone who dropped every bit of common sense in the name of submission – these people need to hear and read the warnings about shitty wannabes who think that throwing out an order and smacking an ass equal Dominance.
Part of it, though, is because it’s just easier to talk about. The bad ones do very common things – lie, cheat, become violent, ignore consent. You name it. They were assholes before they discovered BDSM. Now they’re just assholes with a title and too many eager and willing victims.
What we don’t talk a lot about is what makes a good Dominant. What does one look like? It’s a harder picture to paint simply because we all want and need something a little different.
But I like a challenge. And sometimes I get tired of scaring people (no matter how needed it may be). Instead, I’d rather celebrate the good Dominants of the world. Everyone is a work in progress and your results might vary, but I believe regardless of gender, sexuality, race, looks, height, weight, whatever a good Dominant will have some if not all of these characteristics.
Oh, and for the record, I don’t like the term “true” Dominant unless I’m comparing the real thing to the abusive asshole who uses Fetlife as a hunting ground. Good Dominants, though, are very real. Bad Dominants either have their own issues to work on or just need more education. The mark of a bad Dominant who can become a good Dominant is their willingness to...