Loving BDSM

Kayla Lords hosts this week’s episode and discusses the kind of financial control practiced in her D/s relationship with John Brownstone. The decision to give up or take financial control in any relationship isn’t an easy one and is unique to everyone. There is no one right decision to make or one right way to do it. This is simply a look at what financial control can look like.

In this episode:

* Kayla got her first allowance and squeed like the babygirl she is.

* After 18 months, this step in financial control was a good thing.

* John Brownstone has had financial control in their relationship from the beginning.

* Kayla still has access to their joint accounts and maintains her own separate accounts.

* John Brownstone pays the bills, makes the financial decisions (with her input), and controls the money.

* From a paranoia born from a bad marriage, Kayla was afraid to be a financial burden so never spent a penny without full permission.

* This self-imposed restriction lead to resentment, fear, and envy.

* The situation came to a head over Chinese food and cigars.

* The weekly allowance was born.

* The structure of an allowance gives Kayla a sense of freedom.

* Anyone considering financial control should proceed carefully and slowly. Communication and trust are absolute musts.

Have a topic suggestion or question for future episodes? Contact Kayla or John and feel free to share!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 13. Today, let’s talk about money and financial control! Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.

The other day John Brownstone, you know, my illustrious Daddy who I love and adore, handed me a $20 and if I’d been wearing panties, they would have melted. It was my first official allowance in our relationship, and as silly as it sounded, I was in heaven.

This new venture into financial control within our relationship has been something I’ve considered and sought since we moved into together. It couldn’t have happened over a year ago – and maybe it shouldn’t have, either. But we’re in a different place now, and we’ve grown as a couple over the past 18 months. Handing over financial control to him is another step for us.

Let me back up and explain a few things. I can almost hear some people gasping and clutching their pearls over the idea of losing any financial control.

First of all, I have had and continue to have full access to our bank account. My name is on the account, and at any point, I can swipe the debit card, write a check, withdraw money, and transfer money.

At any point, I can and have and will access the account from my phone and take a look at what’s being spent where. That’s what lead us to the discussion that brought us to this point. More on that later.

I maintain two separate PayPal accounts and my original bank account from my single days. I also have my own credit card. Basically, if something happened tomorrow,

In episode 12, Kayla Lords touches on one of the most important topics in the D/s and BDSM lifestyle – safety. From alcohol to safewords, she explains her views on what it means to play safe during a scene or whenever you decide to get kinky.

In this episode:

* After enough time together, Kayla and John Brownstone rarely discuss safety anymore but it does come up from time to time.

* They follow Safe, Sane, and Consensual but there’s also RACK and PRICK

* Intoxication from alcohol or drugs and kink don’t mix – at least for Kayla.

* If you can’t drive a car after a few drinks, you definitely should pick up a flogger, tie up your submissive, or anything else that could cause harm if you screw up.

* Safewords aren’t the only way to stay safe during a scene.

* Dominants need to watch their submissives closely and read their body language and other non-verbal cues.

* Sometimes, it’s not possible to say “Red” or whatever safeword you use.

* A Dominant needs to use his/her best judgement and err on the side of safety and caution, especially if your partner is new to you.

* John Brownstone kept going when Kayla couldn’t speak properly because he used the rest of the signals and cues she was giving him.

* Bottom line: A safeword isn’t a fail safe. Dominants can’t just rely on a spoken word.

Reference Links:

Risk Aware Consensual Kink or RACK

Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink or PRICK

Got a question or topic suggestion? Feel free to contact Kayla or John directly. You’ll receive a personal response and may hear your question or suggestion on a future episode!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 12. Today, let’s talk a little about staying safe when you get kinky! Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.

Safe, sane, and consensual – sound familiar? Many kinksters, John Brownstone and myself included, subscribe to this philosophy in BDSM. There are others: Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) and Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink (ironically, PRICK). It’s all about being self-aware and understanding the risk when you’re getting kinky. For me, safe, sane, and consensual fits that definition. Whichever you prefer, as long as you play safe, that’s all that really matters.

Twice in the past few days, the issue of safety has come up between Daddy and myself. We consider our play safe at all times simply because we trust in the other to let us know when something is wrong or to stop all play when necessary. But for safety to be something to discuss at all is rare – at least at this point in our relationship.

The first was during a discussion about visiting a local club that caters to both swingers and kinksters.

In episode 12, Kayla Lords touches on one of the most important topics in the D/s and BDSM lifestyle – safety. From alcohol to safewords, she explains her views on what it means to play safe during a scene or whenever you decide to get kinky.

In this episode:

* After enough time together, Kayla and John Brownstone rarely discuss safety anymore but it does come up from time to time.

* They follow Safe, Sane, and Consensual but there’s also RACK and PRICK

* Intoxication from alcohol or drugs and kink don’t mix – at least for Kayla.

* If you can’t drive a car after a few drinks, you definitely should pick up a flogger, tie up your submissive, or anything else that could cause harm if you screw up.

* Safewords aren’t the only way to stay safe during a scene.

* Dominants need to watch their submissives closely and read their body language and other non-verbal cues.

* Sometimes, it’s not possible to say “Red” or whatever safeword you use.

* A Dominant needs to use his/her best judgement and err on the side of safety and caution, especially if your partner is new to you.

* John Brownstone kept going when Kayla couldn’t speak properly because he used the rest of the signals and cues she was giving him.

* Bottom line: A safeword isn’t a fail safe. Dominants can’t just rely on a spoken word.

Reference Links:

Risk Aware Consensual Kink or RACK

Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink or PRICK

Got a question or topic suggestion? Feel free to contact Kayla or John directly. You’ll receive a personal response and may hear your question or suggestion on a future episode!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 12. Today, let’s talk a little about staying safe when you get kinky! Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.

Safe, sane, and consensual – sound familiar? Many kinksters, John Brownstone and myself included, subscribe to this philosophy in BDSM. There are others: Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) and Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink (ironically, PRICK). It’s all about being self-aware and understanding the risk when you’re getting kinky. For me, safe, sane, and consensual fits that definition. Whichever you prefer, as long as you play safe, that’s all that really matters.

Twice in the past few days, the issue of safety has come up between Daddy and myself. We consider our play safe at all times simply because we trust in the other to let us know when something is wrong or to stop all play when necessary. But for safety to be something to discuss at all is rare – at least at this point in our relationship.

The first was during a discussion about visiting a local club that cate...

In episode 11, Kayla Lords answers a question from a listener about pubic hair in a D/s relationship, whether it’s a normal expectation of Dominants, and if it’s okay for a submissive to make the same request of their Dominant. Waxing, shaving, or keeping the bush, the answer to what’s normal is that it all comes down to personal preference.

From this episode:

* A follower suggestion! Feel free to send in your own questions or topic suggestions.

* Kayla waxes her pussy – because she prefers it that and because John Brownstone does, too.

* Going bare has plenty of benefits.

* Hair or bare, it’s all about personal preference

* Shaving causes itchy stubble quicker than waxing but it doesn’t freak people out as much as wax.

* Don’t think being hairless is “typical” just because you saw it in porn.

* Pubic hair can be a negotiated term in a D/s relationship.

* Submissives can ask their Dominant to shave or wax – but be prepared to accept the answer, even if it’s “No.”

* There are no ugly pussies – so don’t let that be a reason that stops you.

* For the guys, going hairless can make you look an inch bigger.

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 11. Today, let’s talk about the hair down there! Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.

I got an email from a friend, follower, reader, and fellow submissive and she had both a question and a topic suggestion so yay for that. Consider this proof that I really will consider and use your suggestions. Anyway, she asked about going bare “down there” – you know, on the pussy, the lady garden, or the vajayjay if you prefer.

Her Dominant wanted her to be bare, and she wondered if that was normal, and if it was okay to expect him to go bare. And she asked how John Brownstone and I handle it.

Well, let’s start with me, and then I’ll get into what’s “normal.”

Yes, I keep the pussy smooth and hairless. Every few weeks I make an appointment and get a full Brazilian wax. Full means front, back, slit, ass, NO landing strip, NO hair anywhere.

Yes, part of our agreement when we got together is that I would keep myself smooth and clean for him.

But you have to understand something. That was exactly a hardship for me. I’ve been getting waxed on a regular basis since before I met him. Hell, since before I met my first Dominant. I like being hairless down there. It’s completely a personal preference, and there is no right answer to whether or not you should be willing to either wax or shave.

I wax because I only get stubbly and itchy after about 3 weeks or so. I refuse to shave because two-day stubble sucks. Again, personal preference. My waxes were so important to both of us that we included it in our budget each month. No really, on our household budget spreadsheet – yes, we have one – Wax is a line item.

Some of you cringe at the thought. Not at the no-hair thing but the whole hot wax spread across sensitive bits and hair being pulled out at the roots in those same soft parts. I get it.

In episode 11, Kayla Lords answers a question from a listener about pubic hair in a D/s relationship, whether it’s a normal expectation of Dominants, and if it’s okay for a submissive to make the same request of their Dominant. Waxing, shaving, or keeping the bush, the answer to what’s normal is that it all comes down to personal preference.

From this episode:

* A follower suggestion! Feel free to send in your own questions or topic suggestions.

* Kayla waxes her pussy – because she prefers it that and because John Brownstone does, too.

* Going bare has plenty of benefits.

* Hair or bare, it’s all about personal preference

* Shaving causes itchy stubble quicker than waxing but it doesn’t freak people out as much as wax.

* Don’t think being hairless is “typical” just because you saw it in porn.

* Pubic hair can be a negotiated term in a D/s relationship.

* Submissives can ask their Dominant to shave or wax – but be prepared to accept the answer, even if it’s “No.”

* There are no ugly pussies – so don’t let that be a reason that stops you.

* For the guys, going hairless can make you look an inch bigger.

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 11. Today, let’s talk about the hair down there! Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.

I got an email from a friend, follower, reader, and fellow submissive and she had both a question and a topic suggestion so yay for that. Consider this proof that I really will consider and use your suggestions. Anyway, she asked about going bare “down there” – you know, on the pussy, the lady garden, or the vajayjay if you prefer.

Her Dominant wanted her to be bare, and she wondered if that was normal, and if it was okay to expect him to go bare. And she asked how John Brownstone and I handle it.

Well, let’s start with me, and then I’ll get into what’s “normal.”

Yes, I keep the pussy smooth and hairless. Every few weeks I make an appointment and get a full Brazilian wax. Full means front, back, slit, ass, NO landing strip, NO hair anywhere.

Yes, part of our agreement when we got together is that I would keep myself smooth and clean for him.

But you have to understand something. That was exactly a hardship for me. I’ve been getting waxed on a regular basis since before I met him. Hell, since before I met my first Dominant. I like being hairless down there. It’s completely a personal preference, and there is no right answer to whether or not you should be willing to either wax or shave.

I wax because I only get stubbly and itchy after about 3 weeks or so. I refuse to shave because two-day stubble sucks. Again, personal preference. My waxes were so important to both of us that we included it in our budget each month. No really, on our household budget spreadsheet – yes, we have one – Wax is a line item.

Some of you cringe at the thought. Not at the no-hair thing but the whole hot wax spread across sensitive bits and hair being pulled out at the roots in those same soft parts. I get it.

In episode 11, Kayla Lords answers a question from a listener about pubic hair in a D/s relationship, whether it’s a normal expectation of Dominants, and if it’s okay for a submissive to make the same request of their Dominant. Waxing, shaving, or keeping the bush, the answer to what’s normal is that it all comes down to personal preference.
From this episode:

* A follower suggestion! Feel free to send in your own questions or topic suggestions.
* Kayla waxes her pussy – because she prefers it that and because John Brownstone does, too.
* Going bare has plenty of benefits.
* Hair or bare, it’s all about personal preference
* Shaving causes itchy stubble quicker than waxing but it doesn’t freak people out as much as wax.
* Don’t think being hairless is “typical” just because you saw it in porn.
* Pubic hair can be a negotiated term in a D/s relationship.
* Submissives can ask their Dominant to shave or wax – but be prepared to accept the answer, even if it’s “No.”
* There are no ugly pussies – so don’t let that be a reason that stops you.
* For the guys, going hairless can make you look an inch bigger.

Full Transcript:
You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 11. Today, let’s talk about the hair down there! Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.
I got an email from a friend, follower, reader, and fellow submissive and she had both a question and a topic suggestion so yay for that. Consider this proof that I really will consider and use your suggestions. Anyway, she asked about going bare “down there” – you know, on the pussy, the lady garden, or the vajayjay if you prefer.
Her Dominant wanted her to be bare, and she wondered if that was normal, and if it was okay to expect him to go bare. And she asked how John Brownstone and I handle it.
Well, let’s start with me, and then I’ll get into what’s “normal.”
Yes, I keep the pussy smooth and hairless. Every few weeks I make an appointment and get a full Brazilian wax. Full means front, back, slit, ass, NO landing strip, NO hair anywhere.
Yes, part of our agreement when we got together is that I would keep myself smooth and clean for him.
But you have to understand something. That was exactly a hardship for me. I’ve been getting waxed on a regular basis since before I met him. Hell, since before I met my first Dominant. I like being hairless down there. It’s completely a personal preference, and there is no right answer to whether or not you should be willing to either wax or shave.
I wax because I only get stubbly and itchy after about 3 weeks or so. I refuse to shave because two-day stubble sucks. Again, personal preference. My waxes were so important to both of us that we included it in our budget each month. No really, on our household budget spreadsheet – yes, we have one – Wax is a line item.
Some of you cringe at the thought. Not at the no-hair thing but the whole hot wax spread across sensitive bits and hair being pulled out at the roots in those same soft parts. I get it. I have a pretty high pain tolerance (I am a masochist after ...

John Brownstone and Kayla Lords are together again. This week the topic is sex and kinky fuckery in a D/s relationship. The episode is a question and answer format with plenty of talk about cocks, nipples, being sexually available, and plenty of what you might expect a kinky couple to say about their sex life. There’s plenty you might not expect either.

From this episode:

* His favorite part of sex as a Dominant – the creativity

* Her favorite part of sex as a submissive – the power and control she gives him

* Going from not wanting sex at all to fucking like rabbits. Kayla wants to know – how does a Dominant go from 0 to 60?

* Kayla might always be sexually available to her Dominant, but she’s not turned on 100 percent of the time, either.

* Being sexually available in a D/s relationship requires trust and communication. John Brownstone points out that it requires a sense of responsibility as a Dominant. “You don’t want to break your toys.”

* Tumblr porn can help share what you like and what turns you on.

* A kinky scene in the club probably won’t end in sex, but it may be a very sexual experience. For Kayla, it’s almost always an erotic moment. Except for this one time…

* John Brownstone doesn’t get turned on just because he’s in his Dom mode. The Dom Voice doesn’t equal an automatic hard-on. What he feels in that moment is all mental, but still a little erotic.

* Everyone has different turn-ons, kinks, or fetishes. John Brownstone is turned on by boots – one of his fetishes. Kayla is turned on by spankings, hair-pulling, face-smacking, and above all, power.

* General hilarity ensues throughout this episode. The mention of cock, twitching cock, and cocky is so rampant, it could make a good drinking game.

In the editing process, John Brownstone added a very special surprise near the end. October 30 (the day this episode was released) is Kayla’s birthday!

Listen on YouTube

Links mentioned in the episode:

Masturbation Monday

Three Dominants and Me

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

John Brownstone and Kayla Lords are together again. This week the topic is sex and kinky fuckery in a D/s relationship. The episode is a question and answer format with plenty of talk about cocks, nipples, being sexually available, and plenty of what you might expect a kinky couple to say about their sex life. There’s plenty you might not expect either.

From this episode:

* His favorite part of sex as a Dominant – the creativity

* Her favorite part of sex as a submissive – the power and control she gives him

* Going from not wanting sex at all to fucking like rabbits. Kayla wants to know – how does a Dominant go from 0 to 60?

* Kayla might always be sexually available to her Dominant, but she’s not turned on 100 percent of the time, either.

* Being sexually available in a D/s relationship requires trust and communication. John Brownstone points out that it requires a sense of responsibility as a Dominant. “You don’t want to break your toys.”

* Tumblr porn can help share what you like and what turns you on.

* A kinky scene in the club probably won’t end in sex, but it may be a very sexual experience. For Kayla, it’s almost always an erotic moment. Except for this one time…

* John Brownstone doesn’t get turned on just because he’s in his Dom mode. The Dom Voice doesn’t equal an automatic hard-on. What he feels in that moment is all mental, but still a little erotic.

* Everyone has different turn-ons, kinks, or fetishes. John Brownstone is turned on by boots – one of his fetishes. Kayla is turned on by spankings, hair-pulling, face-smacking, and above all, power.

* General hilarity ensues throughout this episode. The mention of cock, twitching cock, and cocky is so rampant, it could make a good drinking game.

In the editing process, John Brownstone added a very special surprise near the end. October 30 (the day this episode was released) is Kayla’s birthday!

Listen on YouTube

Links mentioned in the episode:

Masturbation Monday

Three Dominants and Me

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

John Brownstone and Kayla Lords are together again. This week the topic is sex and kinky fuckery in a D/s relationship. The episode is a question and answer format with plenty of talk about cocks, nipples, being sexually available, and plenty of what you might expect a kinky couple to say about their sex life. There’s plenty you might not expect either.
From this episode:

* His favorite part of sex as a Dominant – the creativity
* Her favorite part of sex as a submissive – the power and control she gives him
* Going from not wanting sex at all to fucking like rabbits. Kayla wants to know – how does a Dominant go from 0 to 60?
* Kayla might always be sexually available to her Dominant, but she’s not turned on 100% of the time, either.
* Being sexually available in a D/s relationship requires trust and communication. John Brownstone points out that it requires a sense of responsibility as a Dominant. “You don’t want to break your toys.”
* Tumblr porn can help share what you like and what turns you on.
* A kinky scene in the club probably won’t end in sex, but it may be a very sexual experience. For Kayla, it’s almost always an erotic moment. Except for this one time…
* John Brownstone doesn’t get turned on just because he’s in his Dom mode. The Dom Voice doesn’t equal an automatic hard-on. What he feels in that moment is all mental, but still a little erotic.
* Everyone has different turn-ons, kinks, or fetishes. John Brownstone is turned on by boots – one of his fetishes. Kayla is turned on by spankings, hair-pulling, face-smacking, and above all, power.
* General hilarity ensues throughout this episode. The mention of cock, twitching cock, and cocky is so rampant, it could make a good drinking game.

In the editing process, John Brownstone added a very special surprise near the end. October 30 (the day this episode was released) is Kayla’s birthday!
Links mentioned in the episode:
Masturbation Monday
Three Dominants and Me
Kayla’s Twitter
Southern Sir’s Place (John Brownstone’s website)
KaylaLords.com

Kayla Lords talks about a special feature of her D/s relationship with John Brownstone – the Tough Love clause. It’s what allows her to “tell” her Daddy Dominant what she thinks he needs to do in tough or stressful situations. In their 24/7 relationship, he always has the last word but the Tough Love clause gives her the freedom to speak her mind when what she has to say may be less than popular – without being seen as disrespectful.

From this episode:

* The Tough Love clause was part of the renegotiations when Kayla and John moved in together.

* Dominants work hard to take care of their submissive, especially when a submissive may resist the help.

* How can a submissive help a Dominant in the same way? Kayla’s idea: the Tough Love clause.

* The Tough Love clause allows a submissive to tell a Dominant hard truths about their care and well-being.

* She asked, he agreed.

* It comes down to trust.

* The Tough Love clause is used only as necessary

* His sister’s death: Lessons Learned from Grief, Chaos, and Love

* Medical issues

* Work and life stress

* The Tough Love clause isn’t nagging, harping, or making someone feel bad. It’s done out of love but must be used carefully.

* Ultimately, the decision remains his.

* Kayla wants to know – do you have a similar “clause” in your D/s relationship? If not, will you consider it now? Drop her a line to let her know!

As always, if you have a question or topic suggestion for a future episode, feel free to contact Kayla or John directly.

Listen on YouTube

Scroll down for full transcript.

Full Transcript

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 9. Today, I’m going to share something from our D/s relationship called the Tough Love clause. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords. And stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.

When John Brownstone and I first moved in together, June of 2014 in case you wondered, we had a lot of discussions about how our relationship would change. We’d been doing the long distance D/s thing for well over a year, and we knew living together would change almost everything.

Living apart meant that we could – usually – show our best selves to each other. Even if we were having a bad day, we could perk up for a phone call or two. But what would it be like when we lived together and would see every minute detail – the good, the bad, and the ugly?

As you can imagine, we discussed rules, tasks, routines, expectations. Any decent Dominant takes the care and well-being of his or her submissive very seriously. They’re trying to build us up to become all that we can be – both in kinky and non-kinky ways. Sometimes that comes in the form of tough love – making us take care of ourselves, making us deal with issues we’d rather ignore, making us face demons instead of hide away from them.