Loving BDSM

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone host this week’s episode of Loving BDSM. A quick “Merry Christmas” for all the listeners, and a little fun, kinking up a few Christmas songs.

In this episode:

* Kayla gets a crazy idea, and John Brownstone lets her run with it.

* What if their favorite Christmas songs had a kinky element?

* Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

* Last Christmas

* Jingle Bells

* Little Drummer Boy

* All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

Have a Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and Happy Friday to those who don’t!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 18. Merry Christmas! Yes, we’ve got a show on Christmas morning, but in keeping with the spirit of things, we wanted to share a few tunes we’ve been humming over the past few weeks. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here with the amazing, the wonderful, the man who still won’t give me a hint about my presents – John Brownstone! Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes.

This is a quick show today because, well, it’s a freaking holiday, and if anyone is even listening today, I absolutely love you for it!

I’m going to make a confession. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket. I love, love, love music. I love to sing. I’ll dance, hum, and tra-la-la with the best of them. But it’s not something anyone else really wants to witness.

On the other hand, Daddy has a decent voice and is pretty creative, so when I shared my thought for today, he was completely on board.

It started when I got the song, “Have yourself a merry little Christmas” stuck in my head. Except, being the pervy girl I am, that’s not exactly what I was singing.

Instead it was…

“Have yourself a kinky little Christmas…”

And an idea was born. What if some of our holiday favorites were re-imagined for the kinky among us? What would that sound like?

Have yourself a merry little Christmas becomes…

JB: Have yourself a kinky little Christmas. May your ass glow red.

K: And you may remember the song Last Christmas a little differently…

JB: Last Christmas I reddened your ass. The very next day, it faded away.

K: What about Jingle Bells?

JB: Nipple clamps. Nipple clamps. Tug and pull and play.

K: Hmmm, what if instead of Little Drummer Boy, we had…

JB: Maybe it could be Kinky Submissive Boy?

Come, I told him.

Pa rum pum pum pum.

A nice hard cock I see

Pa rum pum pum pum

K: OMG, we might be going to hell for that one! One of my favorite Christmas songs used to be “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth.”

JB: Or do you mean…

All I want for Christmas is to suck his cock. Suck his cock. Just to suck his cock.

K: I won’t complain about that as a Christmas present.

Okay, I think we’ve had enough fun for today, don’t you, Daddy?

Even though next Friday is New Year’s Day, and we’ll be speeding down the highway coming back from our vacation, we will still have an episode. Next week will be all about kinky resolutions you can make for the coming year.

Keep it kinky, y’all, and we’ll see you next week!

Late for Hanukkah and almost too late for Christmas, Kayla Lords hosts this week’s episode and discusses favorite toys for sexy, kinky fun that make great gifts to surprise your partner with – no matter what the gift-giving occasion may be.

In this episode:

* Sponsorships are available for companies with a kinky product or service to promote. Contact Kayla for more information.

* Kayla lists toys she and John Brownstone use and love, in no particular order:

* The Original Magic Wand – also known as the toy that makes her gush like a geyser

* Suede Floggers – providing both the thudding pain she prefers and the stings that raise welts

* Paddles – wooden and rubber paddles, both with different sensations for ass destruction

* Delrin Cane – John’s favorite. Kayla just likes the marks and bruises it leaves behind

* Glass Dildos – great for sensation play and come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, including tentacles

* Nipple Charms – pretty and decadent, they allow you to decorate you or your partner’s boobs

* Lube – whether for anal or because your body isn’t producing enough of it’s own, lubricant is something to have on hand.

Links from Show:

Original Magic Wand

Suede Floggers: Black and White Large Floggers (not pictured) and Purple Flogger (ours is darker purple)

Paddles: Rubber Paddle (different color), this one is discontinued, but the site has a ton of different options for rubber paddles.

Delrin Cane

Glass Dildo – I didn’t buy it at this site, but this is what one of our glass dildos looks like.

Pink Lubricant

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 17. Today’s episode is for those last minute holiday shoppers or someone who’s looking for their next toy. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here! Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back!

Late for Hanukkah and almost too late for Christmas, Kayla Lords hosts this week’s episode and discusses favorite toys for sexy, kinky fun that make great gifts to surprise your partner with – no matter what the gift-giving occasion may be.

In this episode:

* Sponsorships are available for companies with a kinky product or service to promote. Contact Kayla for more information.

* Kayla lists toys she and John Brownstone use and love, in no particular order:

* The Original Magic Wand – also known as the toy that makes her gush like a geyser

* Suede Floggers – providing both the thudding pain she prefers and the stings that raise welts

* Paddles – wooden and rubber paddles, both with different sensations for ass destruction

* Delrin Cane – John’s favorite. Kayla just likes the marks and bruises it leaves behind

* Glass Dildos – great for sensation play and come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, including tentacles

* Nipple Charms – pretty and decadent, they allow you to decorate you or your partner’s boobs

* Lube – whether for anal or because your body isn’t producing enough of it’s own, lubricant is something to have on hand.

Links from Show:

Original Magic Wand

Suede Floggers: Black and White Large Floggers (not pictured) and Purple Flogger (ours is darker purple)

Paddles: Rubber Paddle (different color), this one is discontinued, but the site has a ton of different options for rubber paddles.

Delrin Cane

Glass Dildo – I didn’t buy it at this site, but this is what one of our glass dildos looks like.

Pink Lubricant

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 17. Today’s episode is for those last minute holiday shoppers or someone who’s looking for their next toy. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here! Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast.

This week’s episode is hosted by Kayla Lords and shares advice with listeners on how to go about making the switch from a strictly vanilla relationship to D/s. A listener asked for a step-by-step process on what to do once she and her husband had agreed to try D/s. Unfortunately, Kayla doesn’t have a guidebook on exactly what to do, but she does have opinions on what both Dominants and submissives need to keep in mind and discuss as they make the transition.

Episode Sponsor:

This week’s sponsor is…Kayla Lords, Erotic Author (not to be confused with Kayla Lords, Sex Blogger, Podcaster, Writer, or whatever other title she may have).

Find Kayla’s kinky and erotic books at major online retailers:

Amazon • Smashwords • Barnes & Noble • iBooks

Interested in sponsoring? Contact Kayla for rates and other details.

In this episode:

* Kayla doesn’t have a 1-2-3 step process for relationships transitioning from vanilla to kinky, but she does have 13 things to think about, talk about, and/or do.

* Number 1: Don’t try to do everything that sounds fun all at once.

* Number 2: Don’t worry about what to call your dynamic.

* Number 3: Read as much as you can. Links to recommended resources below.

* Number 4: Keep up the communication and don’t stop.

* Number 5: Get ready to learn whether either of you can handle the word “no.”

* Number 6: Start with one thing.

* Number 7: Make time each day (or nearly so) to talk about how you both feel about what’s going on.

* Number 8: Expect for real life to get in the way sometimes.

* Number 9: Expect to freak out about some of this as you go through it all.

* Number 10: Discuss your personal limits.

* Number 11: For the submissives out there, if you’re unsure where to begin, when in doubt, ask what you can do for your Dominant.

* Number 12: Discuss consequences.

* Number 13: For those considering a contract, if it makes you both feel better to have something formal and official written up, go for it.

Have a question, topic suggestion, or something you want to add to this list? Contact Kayla or John Brownstone directly!

Links From the Show:

Kinkly

Submissive Guide

A Submissive’s Initiative

Dominant Guide

The Loving Dominant by John Warren

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

This week’s episode is hosted by Kayla Lords and shares advice with listeners on how to go about making the switch from a strictly vanilla relationship to D/s. A listener asked for a step-by-step process on what to do once she and her husband had agreed to try D/s. Unfortunately, Kayla doesn’t have a guidebook on exactly what to do, but she does have opinions on what both Dominants and submissives need to keep in mind and discuss as they make the transition.

Episode Sponsor:

This week’s sponsor is…Kayla Lords, Erotic Author (not to be confused with Kayla Lords, Sex Blogger, Podcaster, Writer, or whatever other title she may have).

Find Kayla’s kinky and erotic books at major online retailers:

Bookshop.org • Amazon • Smashwords • Barnes & Noble • iBooks

Interested in sponsoring? Contact Kayla for rates and other details.

In this episode:

* Kayla doesn’t have a 1-2-3 step process for relationships transitioning from vanilla to kinky, but she does have 13 things to think about, talk about, and/or do.

* Number 1: Don’t try to do everything that sounds fun all at once.

* Number 2: Don’t worry about what to call your dynamic.

* Number 3: Read as much as you can. Links to recommended resources below.

* Number 4: Keep up the communication and don’t stop.

* Number 5: Get ready to learn whether either of you can handle the word “no.”

* Number 6: Start with one thing.

* Number 7: Make time each day (or nearly so) to talk about how you both feel about what’s going on.

* Number 8: Expect for real life to get in the way sometimes.

* Number 9: Expect to freak out about some of this as you go through it all.

* Number 10: Discuss your personal limits.

* Number 11: For the submissives out there, if you’re unsure where to begin, when in doubt, ask what you can do for your Dominant.

* Number 12: Discuss consequences.

* Number 13: For those considering a contract, if it makes you both feel better to have something formal and official written up, go for it.

Have a question, topic suggestion, or something you want to add to this list? Contact Kayla or John Brownstone directly!

Links From the Show:

Kinkly

Submissive Guide

A Submissive’s Initiative

DominantGuide.com

The Loving Dominant by John Warren

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Kayla Lords hosts episode 15 and answers a listener’s questions about resets, something she’s referred to in passing several times. What is a reset? How do you know you need one? And what does a reset look like? Kayla gives her personal perspective on the topic.

This week’s episode sponsored by The Wood Dom: unique woodcraft gifts including pens, keychains, and cigar punches. Custom orders available. Kinky toys coming soon. (Full disclosure: The Wood Dom is a John Brownstone project, and we both benefit financially if you make a purchase.)

The Wood Dom on Etsy

The Wood Dom on Facebook

Want to sponsor an episode? Contact Kayla for information! 

In this episode:

* A reset is needed when a submissive gets a noisy mind and negative feelings after just enough stress that create a sense of being overwhelmed.

* It manifests, for Kayla, in a variety of ways: tears, lack of focus, crankiness.

* Resets aren’t just for submissives. Dominants benefit from them as well, but submissives tend to admit to needing one and talk about it more easily.

* A hard spanking is the go-to cure. When it’s really bad for Kayla, a spanking that causes tears does the trick. Even a few forced orgasms help, too.

* Vanilla life and D/s needs can often co-exist with no problems, but when they can’t, a reset can help a submissive find focus and peace again.

* Anything can create a noisy mind that needs to be reset: stress from work and home, disagreements, anything.

* Dominants need resets, too. Whether it’s feeling out of control or a lack of desire to make any decisions, doing something that is pleasurable as a Dominant can help.

Have a question or topic suggestion? Feel free to contact Kayla or John Brownstone directly!

Links from the Show:

Be Careful What You Wish For – A Masturbation Monday post about forced orgasms that resulted in a reset.

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 15. Today’s episode discusses resetting this particular submissive and what that means and looks like. Hey, everybody.

Kayla Lords hosts episode 15 and answers a listener’s questions about resets, something she’s referred to in passing several times. What is a reset? How do you know you need one? And what does a reset look like? Kayla gives her personal perspective on the topic.

This week’s episode sponsored by The Wood Dom: unique woodcraft gifts including pens, keychains, and cigar punches. Custom orders available. Kinky toys coming soon. (Full disclosure: The Wood Dom is a John Brownstone project, and we both benefit financially if you make a purchase.)

The Wood Dom on Etsy

The Wood Dom on Facebook

Want to sponsor an episode? Contact Kayla for information! 

In this episode:

* A reset is needed when a submissive gets a noisy mind and negative feelings after just enough stress that create a sense of being overwhelmed.

* It manifests, for Kayla, in a variety of ways: tears, lack of focus, crankiness.

* Resets aren’t just for submissives. Dominants benefit from them as well, but submissives tend to admit to needing one and talk about it more easily.

* A hard spanking is the go-to cure. When it’s really bad for Kayla, a spanking that causes tears does the trick. Even a few forced orgasms help, too.

* Vanilla life and D/s needs can often co-exist with no problems, but when they can’t, a reset can help a submissive find focus and peace again.

* Anything can create a noisy mind that needs to be reset: stress from work and home, disagreements, anything.

* Dominants need resets, too. Whether it’s feeling out of control or a lack of desire to make any decisions, doing something that is pleasurable as a Dominant can help.

Have a question or topic suggestion? Feel free to contact Kayla or John Brownstone directly!

Links from the Show:

Be Careful What You Wish For – A Masturbation Monday post about forced orgasms that resulted in a reset.

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 15. Today’s episode discusses resetting this particular submissive and what that means and looks like. Hey, everybody.

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone are together for episode 14 and doing something a little different. In an unscripted episode, listeners can hear what negotiating changes can sound like in one D/s couple. They’ve never let anyone in on this part of their dynamic before…until now.

In this episode:

* Kayla asked John Brownstone for help in dealing with her weight loss. After several weeks of assessment, waiting, and fearing the worst (basically, a two week mindfuck – although a very mild one), the changes to be implemented are ready to be discussed.

* The first recording was eaten by the internet and had to be redone. This is probably a good thing because the first edition was filled with whining. Lots of it. The second recording brought up questions Kayla hadn’t thought of the first time.

* John Brownstone and Kayla both gained weight over the year they spent taking care of John’s sister. He lost weight after a month on a (forced) liquid diet and wants to keep it off. Some of the changes will help them both.

* Kayla can’t wear any of her clothing and has gained 30 pounds in a year. The weight gain has affected her health. In her own words, she feels like a “busted can of biscuits.”

* John Brownstone assessed her current diet for two weeks using the My Fitness Pal app and her daily movements and activity using an app called Pacer.

* The changes to be implemented: less starches, more fresh vegetables, fewer desserts, none of the specialty coffees that Kayla loves so much, and definitely no sweet tea. Keep drinking plenty of water, unsweet tea is okay, and fresh fruit for dessert is almost unlimited.

* Activity is another issue to address: two 15 minute work breaks each day to be filled with movement and walking. They will do Tai Chi together in the mornings. Keep up current strength training routine. Movement happens even on rainy days. Long walks on the weekend.

* Progress will be noted in weight and/or inches lost and the fit of Kayla’s clothes.

* Not following the rules will result in corner time – which Kayla loathes.

* A special request – a free Venti Frappacino from Starbucks (a rare treat for Kayla) is not allowed. The size known as “tall” which is very small is allowed. Much whining and griping followed this revelation. A threat of no treat was made. Whining became almost non-existent.

The episode was an experiment. Listeners are encouraged to comment or email with feedback. If you liked this and it helps, say so. If you hated it and it didn’t help at all, share that, too. There are no plans to share every negotiation but feedback is always appreciated. Contact Kayla or John.

Listen on YouTube

Links from the show:

My Fitness Pal app

Pacer app

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone are together for episode 14 and doing something a little different. In an unscripted episode, listeners can hear what negotiating changes can sound like in one D/s couple. They’ve never let anyone in on this part of their dynamic before…until now.

In this episode:

* Kayla asked John Brownstone for help in dealing with her weight loss. After several weeks of assessment, waiting, and fearing the worst (basically, a two week mindfuck – although a very mild one), the changes to be implemented are ready to be discussed.

* The first recording was eaten by the internet and had to be redone. This is probably a good thing because the first edition was filled with whining. Lots of it. The second recording brought up questions Kayla hadn’t thought of the first time.

* John Brownstone and Kayla both gained weight over the year they spent taking care of John’s sister. He lost weight after a month on a (forced) liquid diet and wants to keep it off. Some of the changes will help them both.

* Kayla can’t wear any of her clothing and has gained 30 pounds in a year. The weight gain has affected her health. In her own words, she feels like a “busted can of biscuits.”

* John Brownstone assessed her current diet for two weeks using the My Fitness Pal app and her daily movements and activity using an app called Pacer.

* The changes to be implemented: less starches, more fresh vegetables, fewer desserts, none of the specialty coffees that Kayla loves so much, and definitely no sweet tea. Keep drinking plenty of water, unsweet tea is okay, and fresh fruit for dessert is almost unlimited.

* Activity is another issue to address: two 15 minute work breaks each day to be filled with movement and walking. They will do Tai Chi together in the mornings. Keep up current strength training routine. Movement happens even on rainy days. Long walks on the weekend.

* Progress will be noted in weight and/or inches lost and the fit of Kayla’s clothes.

* Not following the rules will result in corner time – which Kayla loathes.

* A special request – a free Venti Frappacino from Starbucks (a rare treat for Kayla) is not allowed. The size known as “tall” which is very small is allowed. Much whining and griping followed this revelation. A threat of no treat was made. Whining became almost non-existent.

The episode was an experiment. Listeners are encouraged to comment or email with feedback. If you liked this and it helps, say so. If you hated it and it didn’t help at all, share that, too. There are no plans to share every negotiation but feedback is always appreciated. Contact Kayla or John.

Listen on YouTube

Links from the show:

My Fitness Pal app

Pacer app

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Kayla Lords hosts this week’s episode and discusses the kind of financial control practiced in her D/s relationship with John Brownstone. The decision to give up or take financial control in any relationship isn’t an easy one and is unique to everyone. There is no one right decision to make or one right way to do it. This is simply a look at what financial control can look like.

In this episode:

* Kayla got her first allowance and squeed like the babygirl she is.

* After 18 months, this step in financial control was a good thing.

* John Brownstone has had financial control in their relationship from the beginning.

* Kayla still has access to their joint accounts and maintains her own separate accounts.

* John Brownstone pays the bills, makes the financial decisions (with her input), and controls the money.

* From a paranoia born from a bad marriage, Kayla was afraid to be a financial burden so never spent a penny without full permission.

* This self-imposed restriction lead to resentment, fear, and envy.

* The situation came to a head over Chinese food and cigars.

* The weekly allowance was born.

* The structure of an allowance gives Kayla a sense of freedom.

* Anyone considering financial control should proceed carefully and slowly. Communication and trust are absolute musts.

Have a topic suggestion or question for future episodes? Contact Kayla or John and feel free to share!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 13. Today, let’s talk about money and financial control! Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.

The other day John Brownstone, you know, my illustrious Daddy who I love and adore, handed me a $20 and if I’d been wearing panties, they would have melted. It was my first official allowance in our relationship, and as silly as it sounded, I was in heaven.

This new venture into financial control within our relationship has been something I’ve considered and sought since we moved into together. It couldn’t have happened over a year ago – and maybe it shouldn’t have, either. But we’re in a different place now, and we’ve grown as a couple over the past 18 months. Handing over financial control to him is another step for us.

Let me back up and explain a few things. I can almost hear some people gasping and clutching their pearls over the idea of losing any financial control.

First of all, I have had and continue to have full access to our bank account. My name is on the account, and at any point, I can swipe the debit card, write a check, withdraw money, and transfer money.

At any point, I can and have and will access the account from my phone and take a look at what’s being spent where. That’s what lead us to the discussion that brought us to this point. More on that later.

I maintain two separate PayPal accounts and my original bank account from my single days. I also have my own credit card. Basically, if something happened tomorrow, I can get to my money and have a place to put it.