The Elegant Warrior is the podcast about elegance in all of its many forms. We're talking about our definitions of elegance and how we maintain it during times of trial.

Everything is a negotiation. The exercise of give-and-take that you experience daily with yourself and with others can be one of your greatest tools for advocating for yourself. I'm joined today by Mori Taheripour, an expert negotiator and author who teaches Negotiation and Dispute Resolution at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. We discuss the power of negotiations and how they can help you become a better advocate for yourself. From negotiating with yourself when your alarm clock goes off in the morning to giving up your people-pleasing tendencies, join us today as we talk about meaningful ways that you can gain a greater perspective in your life and truly master the power of negotiations in your everyday life.

Today we discuss —

Negotiating every day

• Negotiating simply means working through a problem and coming to a good solution.
• Negotiations are the problem-solving conversations and decisions we make with ourselves and others every day.

• When your negotiations lead you to give up on the things that matter most, you will begin to lose credibility with yourself and with others.
• Negotiations with yourself are just as, if not more, important than the negotiations you make with others.
• Overcome negative negotiating experiences by giving yourself credit for the times you do get it right.
• Negotiations don't have to be a complete and total win or loss situation — as long as you receive something that will serve you in the long run, it's a win.

How to give up your people-pleasing tendencies

• Nobody takes anything away from you, you only give it to them.
• People pleasers too often risk their own happiness to avoid conflict.
• No one is going to set your boundaries for you — it's up to you to define your limits.
• Taking personal responsibility for your behavior allows you to change when needed.
• Give yourself permission to take care of yourself first.

Gaining perspective to master negotiations

• Ask questions to understand the perspective of other people.
• An increased perspective allows you to give the gift of empathy.
• Being a better listener will give you the power to negotiate with more information.
• 'I understand' does not have to mean 'I agree,' but it can offer validation for both sides.
• Identify your vulnerabilities so that you can strengthen them and improve your negotiations.

Mori's book is Bring Yourself: How to Harness the Power of Connection to Negotiate Fearlessly

Mori's book recommendation is Untamed, by Glennon Doyle

Mori's song choice is "Just Fine," by Mary J. Blige

Learn More:

Advocate to Win

The Elegant Warrior Playlist on Spotify

Mori Taheripour

Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, by Roger Fisher and William Ury

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, by Brene Brown

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