No-one became successful by being afraid to make mistakes, says Matthew Syed. The British journalist and former Olympic table tennis champion has written a new book for kids - You Are Awesome.

No-one became successful by being afraid to make mistakes, says Matthew Syed. The British journalist and former Olympic table tennis champion has written a new book for kids - You Are Awesome: Find Your Confidence and Dare to be Brilliant at (Almost) Anything.

Bravery and resilience come from a willingness to take risks and an approach that every day is a learning opportunity - skills Matthew says his own parents set him up with early.

At nine, he had one line in a stage production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but got nervous and fluffed it.

Afterwards, his father smiled and said 'The key thing is that you tried. The next time you're under pressure it will be a lot easier'.

Matthew says his parents didn't praise what he did but praised him for having a go.

Later they put a table tennis set in their garage, even though they didn't play themselves.

Matthew's dad won the first games.

"I could have just retreated back to the bedroom and got on my PlayStation ... but I saw it as a challenge, he made it interesting and exciting."

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The journey to professional table tennis player was a long one, and one of the biggest defeats he had to pick himself up from came when he was already a pro at the 2000 Olympic Games in Sydney.

After a careful four-year build up, Matthew's coach said to him as he went to play 'What happens over the next 45 minutes will determine whether the last 4 years were a waste of time or not'.

"Suddenly I felt this deep anxiety ... I did fall apart, I played really poorly. I got knocked out extremely quickly."

Back home, he felt really embarrassed and avoided his parents.

Then he realised it was just another a learning opportunity.

A lot hinges on how we individually and collectively view failure.

In the aviation industry, failures are analysed, lessons extracted and changes made, Matthew says.

As a result, flying is relatively very safe.

The healthcare industry takes a different approach, he says.

"If there's an avoidable death, doctors often won't share what's happened, they're worried about being litigated, the lessons aren't learned - that's why avoidable medical error is one of the biggest killers in the western world."

We need to view performing under pressure as a skill we can develop - not as something we either have or haven't got, Matthew says…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details