Men, Sex, and Pleasure with Cam Fraser

Today on the podcast I chat with a beautiful man who I met in New Zealand a few years ago. We shared a meal together and I resonates with so much of his story. His name is Franko Heke and he is on a mission to raise consciousness through his music and workshops. Drawing on ancient mantra in combination with his own cultural roots, Franko’s devotional sessions are bound to coax your own divine voice into the open with his distinct fresh sounds for today. With years of touring rock music under his belt, Franko’s compass has drawn him north toward a movement, which brings people together, celebrating our unique gifts, our connection to one another and to mother earth. Sought after for yoga, meditation and transformational festival events, Franko’s boundless energy for the betterment of all beings. Having opened for Xavier Rudd and Nahko & Medicine for the people as well as sharing the microphone with Donavon Frankenreiter, Franko is poised to have his message heard far and wide. We spoke about personal transformation and choosing a different path by return to the self and not being scared to make mistakes.

Key Points:

- Franko's path and where it led him

- Deciding things need to change

- The process of transformation

- Catalysts and barriers

- Finding your tribe

- Māori cultural influences

- Music and expression

- Finding your voice

- Leaning into mistakes

Relevant links:

Franko's Website: https://www.frankoheke.com/

NZ Spirit Festival: https://www.nzspiritfestival.com/

Franko's Instagram: @frankoheke

Welcome back to the #MenSexPleasure podcast, this is episode 17. Today, I'm chatting with Joseph Kramer, Ph.D. For forty years, Joseph has traveled the world teaching erotic bodywork. In 1984, he founded the Body Electric School in Oakland, California, where he trained thousands of professional massage therapists, erotic bodyworkers and somatic educators. In 2003, Joseph founded the new legal profession of Sexological Bodywork™. Joseph Kramer teaches in Sexological Bodywork trainings in California, Europe, Canada, Brazil and Australia and through his educational websites:  OrgasmicYoga.com, EroticMassage.com, EroticIntegration.com and YogaofSex.com. Joseph and I discuss his practice of Porn Yoga, now called Erotic Integration. I've spoken on many other podcasts about my opinion that porn can be used intentionally as a tool to aid our arousal. This point of view comes directly from Joseph and the work that he does. We speak about how to watch porn healthily.  

Key Points: 

- Joseph shares a snippet of his story 

- How porn is being used 

- The "porn high" 

- Standing up is a leverage practice 

- Hands free masturbating 

- "Balloon" masturbation vs erotic flow state 

- Connecting with your body 

- Integrating your heightened arousal 

- Intentional ejaculation 

- Practical advice for healthy porn watching 

Relevant links: 

Joseph's Websites:  

- OrgasmicYoga.com 

- EroticMassage.com 

- HealthyPornWatching.com

- YogaofSex.com

Cam's Website: www.cam-fraser.com 

Cam's Instagram: @thecamfraser

On the first episode of season 2 (episode 16 overall) of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Dr. Juliana, the “girl next door” (with a PhD). Dr. Juliana is always up for a down and dirty conversation about sexuality and intimacy. As a credentialed therapist, academic, and a bonafide (S)expert, Dr. Juliana has spent decades counseling and supporting thousands of individuals on their paths to discover and own their sexual agency. Having traversed her own journey through love, loss, motherhood, and the world of academics, Dr. Julianahas come to understand that ownership over one’s own sexuality is the at the foundation of every fulfilled and confident person. She has developed a clear, action-driven method to help people of all backgrounds discover their own path to authenticity through holistic sexuality.  Dr. Juliana is a certified by Betty Dodson as a BodySex Workshop facilitator and offers tons of tips, insight and support through coaching, therapy, online courses and in person retreats for becoming your own (s)expert over at dr-juliana.com. We chat about working with men, the differences between being a man and woman in this space, and how we can get men to open up to talk about sex.

Key Points:

- Dr. Juliana shares some of her history working with men

- Getting comfortable talking about sex

- Men working with men vs men working with women

- Private vs public work

- Specialising and collaborating 

- Celebrating sexual wins

- Educating and problem solving

- Healthy sexuality impacting our lives

- How can women make men feel safe to be vulnerable

Relevant links:

Dr. Juliana's Instagram: @drjulianahauser

Dr. Juliana's Facebook:  Dr. Juliana

On episode 15 of the podcast, I chat with Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is author of the blog Sex and Psychology and the popular book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller is a much sought-after voice in the media on sexuality research and education. He has been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and CNN, and he has appeared on dozens of international radio, podcast, and television programs. We discuss his research about fantasies and particularly about what men fantasize about, as well as how to healthy explore your desires.

Key Points:

- Dr. Lehmiller introduces his research

- The most common fantasies

- Differences between men's and women's fantasies

- Men's fantasies and pressure to be a certain way

- Shame about our fantasies

- The origin of sexual fantasies

- Underlying emotional needs

- Dr. Lehmiller's dial analogy

- Advice for exploring sexual fantasies

Relevant Links:

Dr. Lehmiller's website: www.lehmiller.com

On this episode of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Taylor Johnson about sexual energy sublimation. Taylor is a sex educator and intimacy coach who helps men master their sex lives in an integrated way. Our philosophies about masculinity and sexuality seem to align and so Taylor and I had a great conversation together about the practical elements of sexual energy transmutation and sublimation. If you've ever been interested in learning how to work with sexual energy and use it to create and manifest other things, this is the episode for you.

Key points:

- Taylor's personal reflections

- Ejaculation, ejaculation, ejaculation

- NoFap vs Sublimation

- The difference between transmutation and sublimation

- No woo-woo advice for moving sexual energy

- Change the way you masturbate

- The role of porn in sublimation practices

- Sharing sexual energy with a partner

Relevant links:

Taylor's Instagram - @taylorclarkjohnson

Taylor's website - https://www.taylorjohnson.life

On episode thirteen, I chat with entrepreneur, artist, and Shamanic practitioner, Paisley Heart. He embodies the hybrid archetypes of the Wild Businessman and Lifestyle Artist. Founder of the shamanic rite of passage event The Funeral and panel style podcast Curious Conversations, and previously such businesses as the holistic digital marketing agency DigiLove and Independent record label Fight Music -  his gifts are unique and diverse. Paisley is known to prowl the mysterious shadow realms of business. With the flaming torch of innovation, he sets the normal and mundane ablaze with alternative business approaches. Combining his obsession with spirituality, artistic expression, nature, and ritual, he has made a strong impact on the music, social media marketing, and personal development industries. Paisley’s unorthodox style has often been challenging for his clients and for professionals in the industry. Pushing against these paradigms has become a strong and recognizable brand he is proud of. Paisley has proven that he has a sharp eye in discerning who he works with and where he invests his creative magic. The accolades, achievements, and rapid growth shared between his clients, artists and business are a testament to his uniqueness and grit.

Key Points:

- Paisley shares some of his story

- Bisexuality and sexual fluidity

- Feeling comfortable exploring sexuality

- Creating a container for transformation

- The recipe for ritual

- Honouring what comes up for you

- It's the journey, not the destination

- Practical advice

Relevant links:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/paisleyheart_

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/paisleyhearttt/

Website - https://www.hellopaisleyheart.com/

On episode twelve of #mensexpleasure, I chat with a very good friend of mine, Jarred Dickie. Jarred is a friendly face you might have seen around Fremantle, Western Australia, for years. He started his Yoga journey in 2013 as a student of Ava Irani (Spanda school founder) and progressed through the teachings of Hridaya Hatha Yoga. This gentle style of meditative Yoga is rooted in the “Self enquiry” method of Ramana Maharshi. Jarred also co-founded Kommunity Brew Kombucha in 2015, learning the incredible journey of running a small, conscious business. We chat about the dualistic nature of masculinity and femininity as well as the idea that all spiritual practices are true, relative to our own perception and understanding. We also reflect on the current global conditions.

Key Points:

- Jarred shares some of his story

- Men's work and men's groups

- Spiritual technologies

- Practicing what you preach

- Fluctuations with ejaculation retention

- Jarred's definition of masculinity

- Blind Men and an Elephant

- The light and the dark

Relevant links:

Jarred's Instagram: @jarreds_ectojourney

Kommunity Brew website: https://kommunitybrew.com/

New episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast. This time I chat with Devin Fredericksen about reframing our relationship with the earth, from Mother to Lover.

Devin helps people reconnect to themselves, each other, and Mother Earth in a heart centered path. He supports the Regeneration of the Masculine, with the intention to reunite the global brotherhood. He specializes in sacred sexuality, conscious intimacy, permaculture, and is an ecstatic chef and regenerative farmer.

By weaving these elements together, Devin facilitates the process of living in harmonious relationship with ourselves. Devinembraces life with gratitude for every day because of the gift of this opportunity to live life NOW!

Key points:

- Devin's journey into his current work

- The difference between Mother Earth and Lover Earth

- Men's relationship with the feminine

- Harnessing sexual energy

- Celibacy and ejaculation

- Nature worship as sexual initiation

- Play and pleasure

Relevant links:

Devin's instagram: @devinfredericksen

Today, I chat with depressed Heavy Diesel Mechanic and Male Stripper turned Agency Owner, Gym owner and Holistic Lifestyle Coach, Josh Hardy. Josh lived a life making decisions ruled by fear of not being enough, and self pity from not meeting high standards. He quit his job to pursue his passion in health & fitness, hand built his gym from scratch and is still on a huge journey of personal growth to become a better human, role model and leader. Josh and I recently connected again at a men's group after 15 years of lost contact. We used to play soccer together when we were kids. Josh offers a fascinating peek behind the curtin into the stripping industry, from the hen's nights and dance shows to the pressure to perform to the insecurities.

Key Points: 

- Josh's beginnings in Stripping 

- Reconciling Stripping with a day job 

- Being open, honest and sure of yourself 

- Fitting in in male dominated spaces 

- Fantasy and the popularity of Strippers 

- The emphasising of physical appearance 

- Insecurities in the industry 

- Performance anxiety 

Relevant Links: 

Josh's Instagram - @thejoshuahardy 

Josh's Instagram - @smacademyaus 

Josh's Website - www.smacademy.com.au

In this episode I chat with Harris O’Malley, a dating coach who provides geek dating advice at Paging Dr. NerdLove, as well as on Kotaku and elsewhere. He and his work has been featured on Nightline, Vice, The Guardian, New York Magazine, The Huffington Post, Wired, Sex Nerd Sandra, Daily Life, Slate, The Austin-American Statesman, Austin Monthly, Geek and Sundry, Boing Boing, Everyday Feminism, Buzzfeed, The BBC, The New Yorker, The New York Post, The Daily Dot, The Washington Post, Kotaku, Lifehacker, NeilStrauss.com, The Good Man Project, MTV’s Guy Code, The Harvard Business Journal, and many others.

Key Points:

- Harris' journey from pick up artist to dating coach 

- Unlearning pick up artistry bullshit 

- The positive sides of the pick up artist community 

- Real dating advice for men 

- Having a healthy casual sex life 

- Models of masculinity 

- More practical advice

Relevant Links: 

- Harris' Twitter: @DrNerdLove 

- Harris' Instagram: @DrNerdLove 

- Harris' Facebook: facebook.com/groups/DrNerdLove