How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships

Navigating Gray Divorce in the Family with authors Carol Hughes & Bruce Fredenburg


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According to our guests today, late-in-life divorcées represent an unserved population. The complexities that come with navigating the divorce process, from adapting to a legal and financial system to communicating with the myriad relationships in and outside the family. How will you split a lifetime of assets? And most important to authors Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenburg, how will you help your adult children and their children adapt to this new normal?

Our guests today are authors of Home will Never Be the Same: A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce. Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenberg have spent years in their practices supporting those facing the shockwave of gray divorce in the family. “We wanted to give a voice to the adult children whose parents are divorcing ... Some of these individuals are single; some are married. Some have children of their own. All of them are in different stages of shock, fear, and sudden, dramatic change. We wanted them to know that they are not alone, that we hear their pain, and that we can provide them with solutions.”

Carol and Bruce join us today to share some of their work with those facing a gray divorce as a partner in it, or a child and grandchild of it.

Links & Notes

  • Learn More about Dr. Carol Hughes
  • Learn More about Bruce Fredenburg, M.S., L.M.F.T
  • (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
  • (00:29) - Carol Hughes & Bruce Fredenburg
  • (01:50) - A Growing Statistic
  • (04:53) - Gray Divorce in Other Countries
  • (06:33) - Unserved Population
  • (08:47) - Being Involved vs. Being Impacted
  • (11:51) - Children of the Marriage
  • (14:08) - How Attys Should Talk to Clients With Adult Children
  • (17:19) - Changing Values
  • (20:16) - Strains on Relationships
  • (24:24) - Taking Sides
  • (26:11) - Creating Their Own Divorce Stories
  • (27:00) - Fear of the Legal Process
  • (31:10) - Counseling Those Going Through the Process
  • (34:08) - Introducing a New Relationship & Its Impact
  • (35:54) - Getting Ready to Divorce
  • (37:35) - Winners and Losers
  • (40:28) - Wrapping Up
  • (41:46) - Audible
  • ...more
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