Open Late

By W!ZARD StudiosSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Relationships Sexuality

Open Late episodes

December 27, 2023 127. Asking For a Friend With Drea Renee
In this Episode of Open Late, Drea answers questions from listeners about love and relationship codependency. She shares her personal journey of becoming aware of codependency and the impact it had on her relationships. Drea also discusses the turning point and breakthrough moment she had with codependency, as well as how it affected her professional environment. She provides advice on establishing healthy boundaries, reclaiming independence in a relationship, addressing the fear of abandonment, and expressing needs without creating tension. There is hope for change, prioritize self-care and self-love always!
In this Episode of Open Late:
Becoming Aware of Codependency
Impact on Professional Environment
Establishing Healthy Boundaries and Reclaiming Independence
Expressing Needs Without Creating Tension
Hope for Change
Connect with Drea:
• Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/
• Website:
https://www.openlatepodcast.com/
• YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos
3:28 This shows up in work, relationships, this shows up in friendships, this shows up in even simply something as simple as the groceries .I don't want them to have to wait too long. If I'm looking for something in my purse, I'm always thinking about other people, always thinking about other people and putting myself on the back burner.
7:38 That was a big turning point for me because there was really a time and space where I felt really crazy in my behavior in that I was the only person in the world that was experiencing that. So that was a major turning point for me to go to those meetings and think to myself, my God, there are other people who are experiencing this exact same thing.
10:07 Just calling in and changing my schedule, asking people to pick up my shifts, all the things now take out the love and relationship part and just talk about codependency. my gosh, It absolutely affected me at work because when you are a people pleaser and you struggle to say, No, I can't work that shift, or no, I can't do that.
11:35 You do not want to give a person a laundry list of things to do when you're working on shifting your behavior that can be very overwhelming and you go into shock mode and then you just end up not doing anything. That's usually how that lands where you think there's, okay, I'm not, I can't do all that.
13:55 There is a space in a relationship to have some healthy independence and it really helps you get back to yourself if you are lost in a relationship. And sometimes when it's two people that are just full on that way, you don't even know that you're lost until something happens and you look up and you haven't spoken to your family, you haven't spoken to your friends because you're completely enmeshed.
17:07 The tighter you hold on to something, the more it's going to want to just get away from you and people are not attracted to that energy. People are not attracted to that energy. Having self-respect, having boundaries, creating your space. That is what's attractive, that is what is attractive. And if you are feeling those feelings of being abandoned, you have to do your own self work.
23:28 You can't love your way into their hearts if they don't want you there. You cannot love your way into someone's heart if they don't want you there. It's there for it's not there. And it's the most painful realization, but it's a true realization.
23:43 Time does heal. It. Does things change. I mean, thank God I'm not still crying about the guy I was upset about. It was 17. And I remember that cry very vividly as well.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
29 min
December 20, 2023 126. How We Make It Work with Brian and Audrey
In this Episode of Open Late, Drea interviews Brian and Audrey, a couple who met on TikTok and quickly moved in together. They discuss their journey, the reactions from friends and family, and how they keep their relationship fresh. They also talk about their communication styles, avoiding toxic behaviors, and the importance of privacy in the age of social media. Likewise, they share their thoughts on ethical non-monogamy and discuss their love languages and how they express affection. In this conversation, Brian and Audrey discuss their relationship and offer insights into navigating personal challenges, balancing individuality and togetherness, working together and their favorite things about each other.
In this Episode of Open Late:
Moving in Within the First Months of Knowing Each Other
Keeping the Relationship Fresh
Maintaining Privacy in the Age of Social Media
Navigating Gender Roles and Expectations
Advice for Relationships in Today's Society
Connect with Brian and Audrey:
https://www.instagram.com/brianathey2/
https://www.instagram.com/audreymittel/
https://www.tiktok.com/@brian_athey2?lang=es
https://www.tiktok.com/@audreymittel?lang=es
Connect with Drea:
• Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/
• Website:
https://www.openlatepodcast.com/
• YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos
09:47 I'm like grunting huffs every now and then, like I might get a little pissed off, but like, we're human. We don't get disrespectful. Stop disrespecting your partner. - Brian Athey
13:27 Find new things to do together and stop being so terrified of everything or people are lazy. That's where the boring comes in. Like that's where people get bored because they just expect something exciting -Audrey Mittel
22:00 I can do it all by myself, you know, and not realizing that when you are in a relationship with someone, it is important to feel needed by your partner, right? Like you want to feel like you're useful, and then you are both doing things for each other. And so those little moments of like just greeting each other when you see each other, like if you start dropping that, then that's when the relationship starts to fall apart. -Drea Renee
22:32 No matter how long you've been with your partner, you should still continue to date your partner.-Audrey Mittel
42:22 Stop trying to race each other to a finish line. There is no finish line whatsoever. And the only finish line is when you're six feet under. Like, that's it. Like so I don't know why you're racing to that. So it's like when you stop competing and you start completing each other and like, just complete the circuit. -Brian Athey
43:27 Find your friend in your person, you know? Don't just find your person like find your friend. -Audrey Mittel
19:01 Whatever our roles are that we can still even if we can double up on a role, then we'll fill it. Like if you can do something better than I can, that's cool. I'll find something else that I could do better than you, got somebody rowing a boat now, I guess my steering it. -Brian Athey
19:17 Now we got this boat actually moving. We're not fighting each other for who's going to do this, Who's going to do that.-Brian Athey
30:51 If you're listening, that means you're having to learn. So you're learning how to make it happen all the time.-Brian Athey
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
53 min
December 13, 2023 125. 9 Ways To Not Scratch That Itch of Calling Your Ex
In this episode of Open Late, Drea discusses the struggle of wanting to reach out to someone you know you shouldn't be contacting. She shares personal experiences and provides advice on how to manage the anxiety and feelings associated with love dependency. The importance of giving yourself grace and understanding that feelings are not facts is crucial on this process. Also, there is a key component of finding support through podcasts, support groups, and therapy. Drea also encourages asking yourself important questions about the person and the relationship, and recognizing the patterns and triggers that contribute to the love dependency cycle. She concludes by reminding listeners that it's okay to have setbacks and to be on their own journey.
In this Episode of Open Late:
How feelings are not facts
Finding support to resist contacting an ex
Recognizing codependency patterns and triggers
Embracing setbacks in personal growth
Mentioned in This Episode:
Books about Love Codependency and Addiction
https://a.co/d/hzrU91V
https://a.co/d/9Vr3YIc
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.)
https://slaafws.org/
Connect with Drea:
• Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/
• Website: https://www.openlatepodcast.com/
• YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos
02:12 Don't send that text. Don't send that meme, because I know we do that, too. We've seen the meme, and the meme feels safe because it's not a phone call. It's not a text. It's just a meme. Right? What's the harm? No, don't do it.
02:57 They all change. I think that was one of the biggest lessons I've learned in my life. Feelings are not facts, unfortunately. I wish the good ones could just stay right, but they don't. And that's okay. So even if you're waking up today, and you're feeling so bad about yourself, or you're feeling bad about the situation, you're feeling bad about that person that you really want to call, just know this is not the end at all.
05:10 When you don't get something, or you don't know when you're going to get it, it creates that excitement. And that's how those toxic relationships start.
07:14 Start paying attention to what's happening in your body and start asking yourself, those big questions of who is this person? How are they making me feel? How are they showing up in my life?
09:14 So once you've gotten clear on some of these things that you can sort of intellectualize you kind of know what is a healthy relationship, what does that look like?
09:28 Sometimes it can feel boring. It just can. And that's just the truth, right? And when you're used to being triggered and the adrenaline and all the ups and the downs, and then you find somebody who's showing up for you consistently, you will not know what to do with that energy.
11:46 The energy that you have for them is just ready to go, which is that's a telltale sign as well. When you can override what your body and your mind is trying to tell you for that person, that's a telltale sign of like, okay, I'm maybe going into some interesting territory or I'm crossing my boundaries because my body's clearly trying to tell me something.
14:28 This is mine, this is theirs and this is ours. There are times when things show up for me, where I'm thinking to myself, okay, this is not our problem. This is a past projection. This is something I need to work on that I'm putting on my partner.
16:25 Drea, you wasted four years. I don't, I don't view it that way. I can't do it that way. I got four years of interesting lessons, that's for sure. And if it wasn't him, that taught me that somebody else would, that is how I see it.
18:18 Motion does change emotion.
19:53 Agnes, Not today. We're going to go on a walk and then you could come back. You can tell Agnes that they can come back later. Because that's the thing, you guys. It's all about managing.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
23 min
December 06, 2023 124. Unveiling Love and Relationship Codependency
In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Drea Renee, your new host, shares her journey with love codependency and the process of rediscovering self-love. Returning to the studio, Drea delves into her personal history, tracing the origins of her love codependency to a childhood fascination with love and the challenges arising from her parents' divorce. Drea recounts experiences of navigating unhealthy relationships, grappling with boundary-setting issues, and neglecting self-care. She also thoroughly explores the signs of love codependency, including obsession, persistent validation seeking, and a fear of solitude. On the other hand, Drea highlights the emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows, the compromise of personal values, and the neglect of friendships and family. Throughout the episode, Drea encourages listeners to recognize these signs as the first step in a challenging yet crucial journey toward overcoming love codependency and fostering personal growth.
In this Episode of Open Late:
Introduction to Love Codependency Journey
Childhood Impact on Love Views
Unhealthy Relationship Patterns
Recognizing Signs of Love Codependency
Encouragement for Personal Growth
Connect with Drea:
• Instagram: @thedrearenee | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• Open Late Dictionary
8:10 It isn't easy to walk away, somebody can come up to you, huge red flag and this guy said to me “Drea, I don't want to be in a relationship” all I hear is a challenge, okay lets get it. - Drea Renee
10:08 My moment for me, my AHA moment was when I was driving late at night, I was crying hysterically. I had to be at work the next day. I had no sleep. I hadn't spoken to my friends or my family. All I wanted to do is get this guy to do what I wanted him to do, which was call me back, come see me, you know, whatever the thing is, text me back, whatever. And I thought to myself, I was like, wow, this is really taking over my life. - Drea Renee
11:04 When I'm in that space, I call her Agnes. And when Agnes comes out, it's just like, forget it. I mean, there really isn't anything that anyone can do. And that is how codependency works. It doesn't matter who's in your way. It doesn't matter what anybody says. You're gonna go do whatever you need to do to get that text, to get that person to see you, to get them to respond. - Drea Renee
12:53 That love codependency journey really started for me again when I was young and also me wanting to create this relationship that I didn't see with my parents. I just fell in love with this idea of love. And I still am in love with that idea of love, but it's more healthy now. - Drea Renee
16:11 Now I definitely have stayed in some relationships longer than I should have because I did not want to be alone I didn't want to get off work and come home to an empty house I didn't want the weekends to come and go to the farmers market by myself But at the end of the day and I used to hate hearing this. - Drea Renee
23:58 Do not take for granted getting entangled with someone. If you know you have a hard time letting people go, really stay vigilant and conscious of who are you attaching yourself to. - Drea Renee
27:48 I think being aware of your patterns when they become harmful, and they are interfering with your well-being and ability to live a balance life, that's where we can start from - Drea Renee
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
29 min
December 01, 2023 Open Late - The New Trailer
Welcome to Open Late, your go-to podcast where we unveil the intricacies of love and dive deep into the word of relationship co-dependency. Each week, we will explore the raw and real journey of love, peeling back the layers of co-dependency to uncover the true essence of healthy relationships. Join Drea as she shares her personal experiences with love and bring on couples who have navigated the complexities of relationships in the modern word. We are not just talking about love, though, we are diving deep into the psychology of relationships and getting insights from experts in the field.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
2 min
November 08, 2023123. Is Jess Closing Early?
In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, there's a unique twist as Jess welcomes Drea Renee back to the studio. However, this time, after more than 2 years, Jess finds herself in the guest seat. It's a significant moment as the show introduces its new host, Drea, an expert specializing in love and dependency, who will be taking over Open Late Podcast while Jess is on her maternity sabbatical. They engage in a conversation about Jess's reflections on the future of Open Late and why Drea is the ideal substitute host for this period. They discuss the next steps for the podcast and provide insights into what Jess and Pasha's parenting style will look like. Drea shares her experience of seeing Pasha and Jess in the wild as a polyamorous couple, and they delve into the topic of people trying to protect someone they believe is being cheated on by their partner. As the episode concludes, Jess surprises Drea with a heartfelt gift to mark the beginning of her upcoming journey as the host, and she takes her last bow, at least for now.
In this Episode of Open Late:
New host of Open Late
Delving into the podcast's future
Exploring diverse parenting styles
The dynamics of “protecting” a polyamorous friend
Last Goodbyes and Firsts Welcome Backs
Connect with Drea:
• Instagram: @thedrearenee
Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
• Open Late Dictionary
00:30 It's official. I am taking over for Jess while she's on maternity leave. - Drea Renee
2:45 I had the realization just a few weeks ago that being a mother is a short-lived little window. - Jessica Esfandiary
4:43 I love a camera and a microphone. I'm always down for it. - Drea Renee
9:28 I would love to sing to my babies, sing to them or write little songs for them. But I feel like writing will be something that'll be, like, manageable. - Jessica Esfandiary
10:30 I Think is the exhilaration of like having this new love and watching Pasha become a father, that makes me so excited - Jessica Esfandiary
12:43 If I could have a partner that is consistent, that knows me and that knows my circumstance and my relationship that's familiar, I think I would maybe go out here and there when time permits. - Jessica Esfandiary
15:28 I want it to be fluid where it's not this thing where we sit our kids down one day. And we're like, we have something to tell you. Mommy and daddy are in an open relationship, we're not doing that. - Jessica Esfandiary
16:22 Children learn what they live and they learn what love is based on what they see. - Jessica Esfandiary
21:27 I like to split up my emotions because I think, like, jealousy is a little bit lazy. I think that there's envy, there's fear of abandonment, like all there micro emotions underneath it. - Jessica Esfandiary
23:57 What's meant for you, won't miss you. The Universe does not fuck up - Jessica Esfandiary
Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions.
• Open Smarter Course
The product I love who support this show:
• Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20
• The Oh Club OPENLATE
• Desire Resorts
This is a Sabbatical Jess Production
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
29 min
November 01, 2023122. Jess and Pasha the End of an Era
In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, after more than a year, Jess welcomes back Pasha, her husband and highly requested guest. Together, they open up about the challenges they've faced and conquered, sharing the intimate details of how they navigated and overcame the struggles that life threw their way. They explore the topic of workaholism, shedding light on how it can impact not only one's personal life but also their relationship, emphasizing the potential consequences when a relationship isn't actively nurtured. They speak openly about their decision to seek therapy, offering insights into why they embarked on this journey together and what they've learned along the way. They also express views on jealousy, discussing how to handle it and why confronting it is important. With the anticipation of their twins' arrival, Jess and Pasha take us through their preparations, they also share their biggest fears and concerns as they look ahead to becoming parents to two precious babies. Furthermore, Jess and Pasha generously devote time to respond to questions from their listeners, offering thoughtful and practical advice on a range of topics, including relationship dynamics and life's unpredictable twists and turns.
In this Episode of Open Late:
Raw insights and dynamics of a polyamorous marriage
Overcoming personal challenges and addressing jealousy
The impact of workaholism on your relationship
Couples Therapy and why is it okay to seek it
Preparations for the twins and the biggest fears
Mentioned in the Episode:
• Podcast: Your Partner is NOT your superhero
Connect with Pasha:
• Instagram: @pashaesfandiary
Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
• Open Late Dictionary
5:18 We've always been like such an open book with each other, and that's always worked for us because we love open communication. We love to over communicate, and we never wanted to have any secrets. - Jessica Esfandiary
6:20 I'm looking for something meaningful right now. I'm not looking for just hookups. - Pasha Esfandiary
9:46 Specially moving into this season of becoming a mom is like, I know how sacred my energy is and I dont have a lot of it right now - Jessica Esfandiary
16:09 I think that I and you as well took our relationship for granted and didn't realize that it was like its own living organism that needed care and attention and focus truly, and that it needs to have like energy poured into it. - Jessica Esfandiary
18:48 I think it's really important to know that I've made a massive effort that after five or 6:00, there's no work. - Pasha Esfandiary
23:09 Jealousy is a tool and an indicator to something that you can work on that is deeper and more prevalent -Pasha Esfandiary
40:33 At some point any new partner you get will not satisfy every single one of your needs to the way that we have dreamed up in our society. - Pasha Esfandiary
44:08 Being with other people can create more desire and chemistry within your own relationship -Jessica Esfandiary
49:17 People become more understanding with education and just if you're authentic, they're going to be authentic too. - Pasha Esfandiary
51:58 I do see myself coming back and see this show growing and evolving with me as I become a mom, a polyamorous mother of twins. - Jessica Esfandiary
Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions.
• Open Smarter Course
The product I love who support this show:
• Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20
• The Oh Club OPENLATE
• Desire Resorts
This is a Sabbatical Jess Production
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
53 min
October 25, 2023121. The Journey of Open Late Podcast
In this episode of Open Late, Jess goes solo and provides listeners with a personal life update. She shares her excitement and anticipation as her baby twins are nearing their arrival, and how this has triggered a profound transformation in all aspects of her life. As the Open Late Podcast celebrates its two-year anniversary, Jess reflects on the journey so far, highlighting the growth and evolution of the show. She offers insights into the preparations for her upcoming motherhood journey, giving listeners a glimpse into the challenges and joys that come with it. Jess also shares a snippet of her lactation journey, providing a glimpse into the unique experiences and challenges she's encountered as she prepares to welcome her twins. As a special treat, Jess has a big surprise in store for the end of the episode, ensuring that listeners will be in for an exciting and memorable conclusion. Join Jess on this deeply personal and celebratory episode of Open Late.
In this Open Late episode:
Jess's recent life update
The imminent arrival of the twins
Celebrating Open Late's 2nd Birthday
Reflecting on the show's growth and evolution
Embracing new beginnings

Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
• Open Late Dictionary
00:36 We are expecting twins very soon, and that has turned my life upside down and on its head in ways that I could never imagine. And I have grown so much as a woman just by preparing for these sweet, special little beings. – Jessica Esfandiary
2:27 Over the last two years, I have really interviewed all of the people that I wanted to. – Jessica Esfandiary

5:31 It's been a blast. And I've learned and I've grown so much by doing this. – Jessica Esfandiary

6:56 The decision was not an easy one in the beginning, but the closer I get to the birth of my babies, the more clear it becomes that I want to focus solely on motherhood. – Jessica Esfandiary

7:32 I am a relationship junkie, and I know that the relationship that I have with my son and daughter will be the most important. – Jessica Esfandiary

9:03 Open Late podcast is actually not going away. I'm just going to hibernate in these days with my breast pump and breastfeeding two babies at once. – Jessica Esfandiary

10:44 Because as I've mentioned here many times, Pasha and I do not plan on closing our relationship. We both have previous partners that are still friends in our lives, that still come in and out of our lives, and something were to happen, I want you all to be the first to know about it. – Jessica Esfandiary

13:49 Thank you for understanding that this is such a major life shift for me and I want to be as present as possible for it. You know, this podcast, it really changed me. – Jessica Esfandiary
14:19 So thank you, for helping me own my choices as a woman and the way that I love publicly. – Jessica Esfandiary
14:36 I've had to grow as a woman owning who I am, owning my sexuality and owning my non-monogamy publicly has been one of the greatest gifts of my life, and it's really helped shape who I am and shape how I see the world and more than anything, I feel complete in this part of the journey. – Jessica Esfandiary
Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions.
• Open Smarter Course
The product I love who support this show:
• Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20
• The Oh Club OPENLATE
• Desire Resorts

This is a Sabbatical Jess Production
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
16 min
October 18, 2023120. Asking For a Friend with Lolo Urbiztondo
In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess sits down with Lolo Urbiztondo, Jess's former partner and best friend. They share recent updates on their lives, with Lolo recounting her journey of falling in love with her current partner and the profound realization of being in love. Jess reflects on the transformative changes she's experiencing as she prepares for the arrival of her babies. The episode's second part revisits the classic "Asking for a Friend" style. Jess and Lolo offer thoughtful responses to questions from their listeners, covering a range of significant themes. They explore the importance of seeking and trying therapy, the value of understanding how to date oneself, and how self-discovery plays a pivotal role in determining one's desires in a relationship. Additionally, they delve into the significance of trusting oneself and evaluating the strength of a relationship.
In this episode of Open Late,
Newest Life Updates
Lolo's current love story
Jess's reflections on impending motherhood
Importance of dating yourself first
Building strong relationships and JOMO “Joy of Missing Out”

Connect with Lolo
• Instagram:@lolo_urbiztondo

Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
• Open Late Dictionary
2:30 I saw him and there was this energetic pull I felt. – Lolo Urbiztondo

14:13 My kids will know that we had a former relationship. It's something I will never going to hide. – Jessica Esfandiary

15:13 We will remain open, we are not closing our relationship just because we are having kids. – Jessica Esfandiary

19:01 You are in the presence with your partner, and it's important to remember not to project your past and experiences that were traumatic on to your current relationship, because when you do that you make your partner wrong for the things that happened to you in the past. – Jessica Esfandiary

21:30 There are so many things to explore, and every different kink dynamic has a full spectrum. – Jessica Esfandiary

30:27 A good relationship with promise, or a partner that is showing up and its also doing the work, keeps me motivated. But if the other person isn’t engaging, the way that you are in this healthy way than I am unmotivated. – Jessica Esfandiary
31:54 I look at it as like when you are in partnership you are in this love temple together and you are both adding in love deposits. – Lolo Urbiztondo
36:05 For me dating myself hardcore was listening to the things I always wanted to do and checking them off my list. – Lolo Urbiztondo
40:32 When you can look at everything that happens to you, even if it really sucks and hurts, as like happening for you and not to you, you start to look at life as a gift - Jessica Esfandiary
43:34 A quality person is going to create safety in your relationship whether they are with someone else as a primary or not-Jessica Esfandiary
49:18 The crazy thing about non monogamy is that it's not about this new person. A lot of people think it is “oh I have such a great connection with this new person” but the truth is new person brings out a side of you that you love that you haven't experienced in awhile. – Jessica Esfandiary

50:00 We live in a society and a culture that is geared towards monogamy where people think that this is the norm and so it's really hard for people to break out the box. – Jessica Esfandiary
Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions.
• Open Smarter Course
The product I love who support this show:
• Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20
• The Oh Club OPENLATE
• Desire Resorts

This is a Sabbatical Jess Production
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
1 hr 4 min
October 11, 2023119. Love Dependency With Drea Renee
In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Drea Renee, a close friend of Jessica's and an expert specializing in love and dependency. Sobriety takes the spotlight as they explore Drea's personal journey and her realization of a love addiction problem. They delve into the significance of S.L.A.A. (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) in addressing dependency issues within relationships. Drea shares insights into the support and tools provided by this program. As the conversation unfolds, they address the challenge of losing one's identity within a partnership, the innate longing for love, and the pursuit of authentic love acceptance. Non-monogamy becomes a thought-provoking subject, with discussions revolving around its potential impact on love addiction. Drea provides valuable guidance for those who suspect they might be struggling with partner addiction, and offer practical steps and insights to help individuals navigate these challenging emotions.
In this Episode of Open Late:
From sobriety to love addiction
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
Understanding your addiction
Challenges of losing one's identity in a relationship
Consideration of non-monogamy's impact on love addiction
Mentioned in the Episode:
• Podcast: Your Partner is NOT your superhero
• Podcast: How to Recognize Codependency in Your Relationship
• SLAA quiz: The 40 Questions for Self-Diagnosis
Connect with Drea Renee:
• Instagram: @thedrearenee
Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
• Open Late Dictionary
1:30 Love addiction it's like any other addiction, if you have an alcohol addiction, gambling, food, when that becomes all consuming, it becomes your entire life. - Drea Renee
3:08 When I got sober, its like with any addiction, it doesn't change your wiring. You just stop doing one thing and that laser focus goes to something else. - Drea Renee
5:21 I wanted to be with him so badly that I was like “I'm just going to be a part of you”. Whatever you want me to be, I'll be, so I can get you to love me. - Drea Renee
6:44 My parents divorced when I was seven and my mum had me really, really young. So it's like kids growing up with kids, not really knowing how to emotionally evolve and other things the proper way. - Drea Renee
7:54 Awareness is one thing,but you must put into practice completely new ways of being. - Jessica Esfandiary
13:07 You're addicted to the chemistry in your body. That adrenaline, dopamine. Everything that happens when you're in fight or flight, when you feel like you have the thing that you want. And if you don't have the thing that you want, you're going to die. - Jessica Esfandiary
17:00 Sometimes I wish you could just get somebody a flashcard. Like these are my strengths, these are my weaknesses. Just take a look. And if you don't want to, give it back. - Drea Renee
18:30 The relationship that you have for the first two years is something entirely different, it is its own beast. And you will never have it again. - Jessica Esfandiary
20:17 In some ways with like dating apps, everything is so deliverable and so fast that it makes it challenging to take your time. - Jessica Esfandiary
23:49 Your partner is not your superhero. - Jessica Esfandiary
31:49 Being in a room with a lot of other people that are going through the same thing was so helpful. - Drea Renee
Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions.
• Open Smarter Course
The product I love who support this show:
• Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20
• The Oh Club OPENLATE
• Desire Resorts
This is a Sabbatical Jess Production
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
35 min

About Open Late

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to Open Late, a deep dive into all kinds of relationships. Let’s explore the multi-faceted, frequently misunderstood, dynamics of polyamory and being “open” even means. Weekly on…