Ask Rachel anything

For this Sunday catch up I was joined by Susie Asli to discuss the challenges of parenting during times of personal loss, such as the death of a pet or a parent. 

We share our experiences of our children’s different reactions to grief and the importance of allowing them to grieve in their own ways. 

We also talk about the transition to university, the generational differences in parenting, and the importance of respecting teenagers’ independence.

I introduced a new app called Foqos, which helps manage device usage, and emphasised the need for parents to model good behavior and maintain open communication with their children.

Full episode links, and other details, will be available to Substack subscribers

teenagersuntangled.substack.com

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 

My email
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me

Instagram
Facebook
You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything

Sleep's a FREE performance-enhancer, so why are so many teens not getting enough?

For us parents, sleep is the thing we all obsess about when we first bring our babies home, but if you're anything like me by the time they hit teens we've become pretty lax around that solid bedtime routine. In fact, research shows that around 2/3rds of teenagers aren't getting adequate sleep.

Why does this happen? In my case, I was exhausted from years of implementing a solid routine and they had become more interesting, so I wanted to spend more time with my kids in the evening. They were also busy doing other things; sports, socialising, homework.

Mostly, I think it's not a goal we target or brag about, so it becomes the silent victim of our busy lives.

That's why I decided it was time to talk to an expert (and parent who's navigated this) on sleep.

In this conversation Jessica Bryant of the Better Sleep Council helps us parents really think about our family attitude to sleep, how to support our teens in getting the amount they need, and to problem-solve your struggles.

Thanks to all of you lovely listeners who sent in your questions.

Jessica Bryant Sleep Happy Consulting

https://www.sleephappyconsulting.com/

The original sleep episode:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/sleep-the-free-fix-for-our-teens-with-no-side-effects/

RESEARCH: 

Showed insufficient sleep on an average school night was reported by 68.9% of students. It was associated with higher odds of current use of cigarettes, marijuana, current sexual activity, seriously considered attempting suicide, feeling sad or hopeless, physical fighting, not being physically active:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21843548/

Cross-national variations in adolescent sleep patters:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/375375396_Cross-National_Variations_in_Adolescent_Sleep_Patterns_A_Time-Use_Study?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 

My email
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me

Instagram
Facebook
You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything

Whatever food fears we've inherited, or learned, will be passed on to our kids unless we understand and challenge our beliefs, according to food psychologist, Dr Anna Colton. 

As she rightly points out, fear-mongering about killer bars or toxic foods is way more dangerous, long-term, than the food itself.

In this episode we talk openly about my own struggles with my family's attitude to food, and Dr Colton explains in detail why it's way better to prevent our kids developing issues than it is to deal with the terrifying results of an eating disorder.

As she says: 'Eating disorders really do kill.'

She wants to help us parents raise a generation that trusts their bodies and enjoys food without guilt, fear or shame.

In this episode we talk about how to:

• Recognize early signs of disordered eating
• Speak neutrally about food and body image
• Protect your children from harmful diet culture messaging
• Understand the complex factors behind eating disorders
• Create a supportive home environment that promotes healthy eating habits
• The shocking study that proved anorexia is cause by weight loss.

Whether you're parenting teens, tweens, or younger children, this episode offers practical strategies to help your kids develop a positive relationship with food and their bodies. Dr. Colton's expert advice will empower you to break generational cycles of unhealthy attitudes about eating and self-image.

Dr Anna Colton

https://www.dranna.co.uk

https://www.instagram.com/the_food_psychologist/

BOOKS:  

• How to Talk to Children about Food by Dr Anna Colton
• Anorexia and Other Eating Disorders: How to Help Your Child Eat Well and be Well by Eva Musby
• Good Girl by Hadley Freeman

EPISODES:

Body image: 

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/body-image-and-chores-helping-teenagers-to-develop-a-positive-body-image-also-getting-your-teena/

Healthy Eating:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/screens-and-teens-heres-how-to-help-them-and-yourself-manage-your-time-also-can-we-talk-about-h/

Bigorexia: 

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/feeding-your-teen-control-issues-and-bigorexia/

Does my teen need to lose weight: 

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/diet-does-my-teen-need-to-lose-weight-how-to-navigate-diet-culture-with-elyse-resch/

Eating Disorders: 

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/eating-disorders-an-interview-with-beat-representative-umairah-malik-what-we-parents-need-to-know/

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 

My email
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me

Instagram
Facebook
You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

teenagersuntangled.substack.com

Screen Time Study:

https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2026-24348-001.html

Dr Naomi Fisher:

https://naomifisher.co.uk/

School Avoidance:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/school-avoidance-what-to-do-if-your-teen-is-missing-school/

The Disengaged Teen:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/122-how-to-get-our-teens-to-love-learning-and-why-parents-are-the-missing-piece-of-the-puzzle/

Anxiety:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/anxiety-in-teenagers-also-rules-and-how-to-set-ones-your-teens-will-follow/

Andrew Hampton:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/114-friendships-frenemies-and-boy-banter-parenting-our-teens-through-the-relationship-pitfalls/

Ned Johnson:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/stop-pushing-your-kids-the-link-to-success-resilience-and-reduced-stress-with-ned-johnson/

Dr Greg Walton:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/145-spot-magic-moments-that-can-set-up-a-lifetime-of-success-with-advice-from-one-of-psychology/

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is [email protected]
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything

Is your kid stressed or lacking motivation? What if the antidote was pushing them less and giving them more of a sense of control over their lives? 

It doesn't mean giving up your authority as a parent. As elite teen coach, Ned Johnson, explains the science tells us we can help our child sculpt a brain that is resilient, and ready to take on new challenges if we stop taking over.

In his practice he uses science, behavioural therapy and extensive case studies to offer help kids who're struggling with stress, anxiety, or lack of motivation.

His mantra is that as parents, we need to get out of our kids' way. We can only drive our kids so far. At some point, they will have to take control over their own path and our job is to help them develop the skills to do that. 

Introducing technology to teenagers: My Substack Big Hug Guide

Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4920136/

Failure to Launch: Ken Rabow 

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/failure-to-launch-what-we-can-learn-from-struggling-young-adults-about-how-to-help-our-teens/

Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by Dr. John Ratey.

The Tech Exit book: https://www.sheldonpress.co.uk/titles/clare-morell/the-tech-exit/9781399828208/

Never Enough book: https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/about-never-enough

10-25: The Science of Motivating Young People: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motivation-how-to-motivate-your-teenager-and-why-blame-and-shame-doesnt-work/

Intrinsic Motivation and Positive Development: Reed Larson https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23259190/

Default Mode Network:  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26168472/

Ned on TikTok: 

https://www.tiktok.com/@theothernedjohnson/video/7005943445646855429?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1&lang=en

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 

My email
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me

Instagram
Facebook
You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

SUBSTACK: The Big Hug Guide to dealing with phones and devices.

https://open.substack.com/pub/teenagersuntangled/p/teens-and-screens-the-big-hug-teenagers?r=2u24i0&utm_medium=ios

REPORT on Instagram Accounts: https://fairplayforkids.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Teen-Accounts-Broken-Promises-How-Instagram-is-failing-to-protect-minors.pdf

BOOK: Dr Catherine Knibbs - cyber trauma expert

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/phone-bans-how-parents-can-keep-their-kids-safe-and-happy-online/

DELAY SMARTPHONES:

Other options available: https://www.anxiousgeneration.com/take-action/parent

https://www.waituntil8th.org/

https://delaysmartphones.org.uk/

https://www.kidsfornow.org.uk/

https://www.anxiousgeneration.com/

SWEARING: 

Starting secondary school:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/139-preparing-for-secondary-school-friendship-groups-and-those-awkward-talks-about-porn-and-sexti/

Girl friendship groups:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/friendship-girls-and-toxic-groups-also-resilience-how-to-get-your-teen-to-keep-going-instead-of-g/

Andrew Hampton on girls starting senior school:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/114-friendships-frenemies-and-boy-banter-parenting-our-teens-through-the-relationship-pitfalls/

Swearing: Second part of this episode

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/boy-friendships-and-supporting-our-sons-in-forming-positive-friendships-also-what-the-we-sho-1/

I do have an episode about staying connected. I think it’s the second part of this. https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/2-alcohol-how-to-discuss-it-and-staying-connected-should-we-be-letting-our-teenagers-drink-and-w/

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is [email protected]
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything

We all want our kids to feel they belong and have purpose, but what simple things can we do at home and in schools that will help them develop what they need?

In this interview you'll hear so many great tips we can put in place at home that will help our kids thrive. 

In 2007, Tish co-founded Jamie’s Farm with her son Jamie, a teacher and farmer.

LINK: https://jamiesfarm.org.uk/people/tish-feilden/

The residential visits for disadvanteged kids, who are disengaged or disruptive at school, give them experience of eating as a family around a table, setting aside their digital devices, and creating a structure for positive recognition of those around them. 

Since its founding, Jamie’s Farm has supported over 16,000 young people across six farms in the UK and delivered significant, lasting improvement to young people’s social and emotional health as well as school attendance and attainment. 

Tish has background as a foster parent and teacher, she went on to build a 30-year career as a psychotherapist, including working  with teenagers, families, and the supervision of school counsellors.

Tish Fieldon's 10 Transformative Tips for Parents and Teachers 

Understand the Teenage Brain

• Recognize that teenagers operate differently from adults
• Avoid logical lectures - they rarely work
• Redirect energy positively instead of shutting down natural curiosity

Create Meaningful Connection

• Have regular family meals together
• Make time for genuine conversations
• Practice "check-ins" where everyone shares how they're feeling

Limit Technology

• Set clear boundaries with phones
• Create phone-free zones and times

Prioritize Sleep

• Ensure teenagers get adequate rest
• Establish consistent bedtime routines
• Understand sleep is crucial for brain development and emotional regulation

Embrace Nature

• Encourage outdoor activities
• Take walks together
• Explore local trails and green spaces

Foster Purpose

• Give teenagers meaningful tasks
• Involve them in community projects
• Help them feel they're contributing
• Celebrate their achievements

Practice Positive Reinforcement

• Focus on strengths
• Give genuine compliments
• Do "shout-outs" recognizing good qualities
• Learn from positives, not just correction

Create Safe Spaces for Communication

• Be authentic
• Share your own experiences
• Listen without judgment
• Make conversations feel natural

Teach Life Skills

• Discuss practical adulting topics
• Cook together
• Build confidence through practical learning

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 

My email
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me

Instagram
Facebook
You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

David Yeager Episode:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motivation-how-to-motivate-your-teenager-and-why-blame-and-shame-doesnt-work/

Substack link:

https://substack.com/home/post/p-173251649

Simp: 

A simp is an internet slang term for someone, typically a man, who is excessively attentive, deferential, or overly accommodating to another person, especially a romantic interest, in the hope of winning their affection or attention, often without reciprocation

BOP House: 

Bop House is a content creator collective launched in December 2024 by Sophie Rain and Aishah Sofey. The group consists of eight Only Fans creators living together in a mansion in Florida

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is [email protected]
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything

Conflict is normal - but it often escalates during teenage years because our kids are trying to assert their own wishes, and probably aren't very skilled at it.

As parents, it's easy to fall into classic conflict traps if we don't have the skills for resolving disagreements.

In this episode we talk about the key techniques we can use - and teach - to ease tension and bust-ups at home and elsewhere. What's even better is that by learning techniques for being assertive - and listening until everyone feels understood - we can turn conflict into a positive that deepens our relationships and creates lifelong bonds of understanding.

LUFU technique (Listening Until Fully Understood)

Conflict Resolution Techniques, Assertive Communication

  * O - Objective description of behavior
  * F - Feelings expression
  * A - Effect on relationships
  * Pausing and listening strategies

My Substack:

https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/p/good-parenting-starts-with-your-values?r=2u24i0

Blog:
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/Conflict-management-skills/

RESOURCES:
An excellent book:   Making Great Relationships by Rick Hanson 

Websites used:

• https://raisingchildren.net.au/teens/communicating-relationships/communicating/conflict-management-with-teens
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224545.1994.9923015 
• https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0891524502883249

Other sources of help:

• https://www.family-action.org.uk/what-we-do/children-families/familyline/
• https://www.keycharity.org.uk/help-and-support/resolve-family-issues/
• http://www.familylives.org.uk/
• https://www.relate.org.uk/get-help
• https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 

My email
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me

Instagram
Facebook
You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything

FREE GUIDE: HOW TO THINK THROUGH DEVICE USE FOR YOUR TEENS

https://open.substack.com/pub/teenagersuntangled/p/teens-and-screens-the-big-hug-teenagers

Smartphones can be massively problematic in the hands of the young, mainly because of what kids can access through them. Social media can have a magnetic pull for adolescents who're trying to figure out their identity and fit in, meanwhile predators are well aware of the various access points provided.

So are there any positives? Is it even justifiable to give our kids a smartphone, and at what age is it suitable? 

My teens have very kindly agreed to chat openly about their experiences, both the good and bad, to give us parents a chance to think through our own approach. We now know so much more now about the issues phones and social media raise, and I hope this conversation helps you by reducing guilt and encouraging you to engage with the issue by thinking clearly about your own values and the individual children you have. 

NOTE: My daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD, which is why she has strong opinions on the subject. 

In this episode we explore the pros and cons of social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, with one of my daughters explaining why Snapchat is particularly stressful due to streaks and friendships.  https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/snapchat-a-fantastic-way-to-connect-or-a-cynical-exploitation-of-your-teenagers-time/

What comes through clearly is the importance of parental involvement, setting boundaries, and understanding the impact of social media on mental health and friendships. 

We give you the good and bad: 

From predator problems, self-image issues, political echo chambers, misinformation, AI and a lengthy digital footprint, sleep issues, and stress... 

To opportunities for minorities to find support and perspectives that differ from those in their school, ways to find role models, language to describe their experiences, creative outlets and ideas about fashion and style. 

OTHER EPISODES:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/screen-time-for-tweens-and-teens-the-latest-on-what-works-and-what-doesnt/

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/bikini-photos-why-are-girls-posting-bikini-pics-and-what-should-we-say-about-them/

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/112-boys-looks-and-masculinity-on-social-media-the-hard-and-soft-of-looksmaxxing/

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. 

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. 

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: 

My email
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me

Instagram
Facebook
You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk