Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam

By Dr. CamHealth & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement Parenting Kids & Family

Favorites
60
Followers
Typical duration
39 min
per episode

Based on Podcast App listening data

Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam episodes

May 28, 2024How to Build Resilient, Mentally Strong Teens—Lessons from a Navy SEAL
Raising teens who can handle setbacks, stay confident, and push through challenges isn’t easy.
In this episode, Dr. Cam sits down with Chad Metcalf, former Navy SEAL, entrepreneur, and author, to share powerful, real-world strategies for helping teens develop grit, confidence, and resilience. Chad knows what it takes to stay mentally tough—and he’s here to help parents pass those lessons on to their kids. From handling failure the right way to fostering a strong growth mindset, this episode is packed with practical, no-fluff advice that will empower you to raise a teen who can take on life’s toughest challenges.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
The #1 mistake parents make when trying to build their teen’s confidence
How to help your teen turn failure into fuel for success
Why letting kids struggle (the right way) is key to mental toughness
How to model resilience—even when you feel like giving up

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
Resilience starts with failure. Let your teen struggle, but provide guardrails to help them learn from it.
Competence builds confidence. Encourage skill-building activities that help teens discover their strengths.
Your reaction to failure matters. Recognize and celebrate effort and persistence, not just results.
Model mental toughness. Show your teen how to push through challenges with resilience and determination.
Teach smart goal-setting. The urgent-important matrix can help teens manage priorities and stress.

🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Help other parents by sharing your favorite episode and leaving a rating & review! Your feedback helps us bring more expert-backed strategies to families like yours. Thank you for your support! 🙏💫
🔔 Hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss another solution-packed episode! 🙌

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
5x Your Productivity

EPISODE CHAPTERS:
00:00 Introduction: Building Resilience in Teens
02:55 The Importance of Allowing Kids to Fail and Learn
06:03 Modeling Resilience: The Role of Parents
10:00 Discovering Strengths Through Skill-Based Pursuits
14:24 Supportive Responses to Failure: Building Resilience
23:42 The Failure Hack: Embracing Failure as a Learning Opportunity
28:13 Acton Academy: Encouraging Self-Discovery and Mastery-Based Learning
36:31 The Urgent-Important Matrix: Prioritizing Tasks and Goals

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Chad Metcalf
Instagram: @chad__metcalf
Facebook: @chadmetcalf251
LinkedIn: @chadmetcalf251

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell
Website: AskDrCam.com
Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
TikTok: @the.teen.translator
YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
Facebook: @DrCamCaswell

FULL TRANSCRIPT
Dr. Cam (00:01.662)
Hello, parents. You've likely heard that building resilience in your teen is crucial. It's not just about protecting them from mental health challenges but also setting them up for success and happiness. In this episode, we have a special guest joining us, Chad Metcalf. Chad is not only an entrepreneur and author but also a former Navy SEAL who understands the essence of mental toughness. He's going to give us parents some practical strategies to nurture our teens' resilience, confidence, and other skills essential for navigating life's challenges.
Chad, welcome to the show. Before we dive in, can you share your backstory? How did you start focusing on mental toughness and resilience?
Chad Metcalf (00:33.757)
Thanks for having me. For me, one of the reasons I got out of the Navy was my three young boys. I wanted to be around to see them grow up. I had done 12 and a half years, so I was at that point where I had to decide—do I do another 10 or 15 years, or do I get out and do something else? It was a hard decision. I'd spent my entire adult life in the Navy, and as crazy as it sounds, that felt like the safe thing to do. The thing we know is what feels safe to us.
Dr. Cam (01:12.542)
Exactly.
Chad Metcalf (01:12.947)
I wanted to see my kids grow up. I wanted to coach baseball and flag football and do all the dad stuff. I was going to play college golf, but 9/11 happened, and I joined the Navy instead. After getting out, I had this idea that I could make the PGA Tour and somehow convinced my wife it was a good idea. I went for it, but after three years, I realized it wasn’t working out. I was really good in the last six months, but after running out of money for the third time, I knew I had to do something else.
During that time, I coached my kids in judo, jiu-jitsu, baseball, and football. I've coached all my kids in at least one sport. Right now, I’m coaching my 10-year-old’s Little League baseball team. I've been around people with extreme resilience, mental toughness, discipline, and focus my entire life. To me, that’s just normal. But I realized that not all kids and parents get it.
For example, a 10-year-old kid comes to practice and says, "Coach, I want to pitch." I give him a shot in the game, and he expects to be perfect his first time. But that’s not how it works. He gets nervous, and his parents don’t understand why. I tell them, "He’s nervous because he cares." When I started SEAL training, I was nervous. When I played golf, I was on the first tee, palms sweating, hands shaking. I thought, "This is ridiculous—I’ve been in combat, but I’m nervous at a golf tournament?"
Dr. Cam (03:18.906)
Right. Hitting that ball is probably harder than some of the things you did as a SEAL—at least when I play.
Chad Metcalf (03:29.761)
Anytime you step into a new environment, you’ll be nervous. Excitement, anxiety, and fear are all about perception. When a kid is on the mound, I tell him, "Of course, you’re nervous. Everyone is watching you. Why wouldn’t you be?" Then I say, "Just throw one 10 feet over the catcher." He’s surprised, but I tell him, "Who cares? Just throw it as hard as you can and see what happens." Then I ask, "If you walk the batter, what happens to your life tomorrow?" He realizes it’ll be exactly the same. "So just have fun and work on getting better."
Parents often try to help their kids too much, especially in sports. A kid steps up to pitch, and their parents start coaching mechanics—release points, positioning—right there in the game. But game day isn’t for fixing things; it’s for doing what you already know. One of my golf coaches told me, "Competence breeds confidence, and confidence sets the stage for performance." You get confident by putting in the work and building your skills. Once you’ve done something a thousand times, you know you can do it. But then, you have to put yourself under pressure and practice with real stakes—whether it’s running a lap, doing push-ups, or some other consequence for failure. That’s how you learn to thrive under pressure.
With my book, I teach five steps to build mental toughness. It works for anything. I used it for grad school, launching my book, and even monetizing my YouTube channel—which less than 1% of YouTubers do. But it wasn’t instant success. I made 100 videos in 100 days, and they all sucked. That’s part of the process. You put in the work, fail, assess why you’re failing, and then refine your approach.
Dr. Cam (06:49.278)
Let’s talk about how parents can do that. Most parents want to build resilience in their kids, but the approach often backfires. Some try to protect their kids from pain and step in too much. Others take the opposite approach and pile on difficulties, thinking it will toughen them up. Neither of those extremes work. Can you explain why? How do we find the middle ground where we build resilience while also supporting our kids?
Chad Metcalf (08:07.201)
Great question. I was actually talking about this the other day with a friend who runs Acton Academy Dripping Springs, where my youngest goes to school. The magic of that school is that it’s learner-driven. It’s about using systems to help kids find their own intrinsic motivation.
I tell people this story: After high school, I tried to join the Navy but was disqualified because of a titanium plate in my arm. I was crushed. I tried college but couldn’t even get up for an 8 AM math class—my best subject! A year later, I made it through SEAL training. People ask, "How does someone who couldn’t wake up for a class become a Navy SEAL?" The answer: I wanted it.
You have to struggle a little to figure out who you are and what you want. At a recent Acton Academy parent meeting, they showed a video of a baby learning to crawl. He was struggling to reach a toy, and everyone’s instinct was to help. But if you give the baby the toy, he doesn’t learn to crawl. He has to struggle, and after 45 minutes, he got it. That’s how kids learn.
It’s often the kids who fail early and fast that go the furthest—if they learn from it. Kids who are naturally gifted but never struggle don’t develop resilience. I saw this in SEAL training. Some Olympic-level athletes quit in the second week. They were physically gifted, but they had never learned to fail and keep going.
I don’t think we have to add negativity. I try not to. I have three kids—18, 15, and 10—and I’m a different parent now than I was with my oldest. You learn. You adjust. We try to give them freedom within guardrails—enough to let them fail in a way that’s safe but still teaches them valuable lessons.
For example, one of my teenagers recently fell for a scam—someone promised him $200 to deposit a check. I had talked to him about this before, but he still did it. Now, he’s mowing yards to cover the loss. It’s not the end of the world, but if he learns the lesson, it’s worth it. That’s why I read, seek advice, and learn from others. I got tired of learning the hard way. As parents, we have to let our kids struggle enough to grow, but not so much that it destroys them.
Dr. Cam (13:27.326)
I think the big difference too is when that happens. First of all, we're so scared of having them. I think I use the term "guardrails" too, so I love that you use that. I think we set those so narrow because we're so worried and have this fear that the bumps and bruises are going to have a much bigger impact than they actually do. The narrow guardrails are actually what cause them to not be resilient because they don't trust themselves or believe we trust them.
I think the other thing is when we give them that breadth to make a mistake, and they do make a mistake, a big piece of this is how we respond to that mistake and failure. Do we say, "I told you so. You should have worn your shoes. Look at that." Or how do we respond to those failures so that kids don't develop a sense of shame and fear of failure, but instead learn to embrace failure and grow from it?
Chad Metcalf (14:29.313)
Yeah, I'd say it depends on the circumstance, right? I try not to do the "I told you so," although sometimes I do, and then my wife's like, "Stop doing that." But if it's something like, "Hey, I told you to put on your shoes, and now you're complaining to me that your foot is scraped up," I'm like, "Dude, I literally told you that." So that's more of a decision, like I gave you the solution.
Dr. Cam (14:38.846)
It's very tempting. It's so tempting.
Chad Metcalf (14:56.577)
You didn't listen, and now you're suffering the consequences, right? I think that's a life lesson. But when they're going after something—whether it's learning an instrument, a sport, coding, or any skill-based pursuit—that's where I'm encouraging failure. Go push yourself and figure it out. That's where you learn and start figuring out your strengths.
I firmly believe we can't just be whatever we want to be—we can be a lot more of who we are. The sooner we figure out who we are and what our strengths are, and we go and build those strengths, the better we’ll be able to attack life. And the more fulfillment we'll have. I figured that out at 35, and I was like, "That makes a lot of sense." In business, for example, there are certain things that aren't my thing. But my wife is really good at those parts. So when kids explore, they start figuring out what they're good at, which is what’s really missing in traditional education.
In school, it's, "Sit there, listen, and regurgitate what you're told." Then people say, "Well, they told me I wasn't a good writer, so that must not be my thing." But were you interested in it at that time? That makes a big impact. So, figure out what your kid is interested in and let them go do it, fail, and grow. Another misconception I hear is, "We’re going to try this out and see if they're good at it." Well, you're not going to be good at anything when you start. You have to put in the work and develop competency before you can figure out if it's your thing.
People talk about hitting flow. "How do I hit flow? I'll do breathing exercises." That can help if you're already good at something. But if you're starting out, that's not going to help. You hit flow when you have a high skill level and the challenge level is high. If you're hitting anxiety, it means the challenge level is higher than your skill level, so you need to build your skills. As parents, if we understand this, we can give our kids actionable steps. But first, we need to let them get out there and fail so they’re actually ready to listen to a coach and be coachable.
Dr. Cam (18:06.206)
I agree completely. Sometimes having somebody else… And I'm thinking here, Chad, about that step where we get to anxiety mode. We're not comfortable with being uncomfortable. How do we as parents help our kids through that stage where they’re so terrified of failure that they don’t even get close to that point? How do we help them push through without making it about us and while fostering intrinsic motivation? Because us pushing isn’t intrinsic—it’s external.
Chad Metcalf (18:47.841)
Yeah, I think it all comes back to that old saying, "Do as I say, not as I do." When our kids are little, we're in the protect phase—"Don't run in the street. Don't do these things." But slowly, we have to move from that to modeling behavior. If we're not pushing out of our comfort zones, taking risks, and overcoming failure, then how do we expect them to?
I tell my kids, "I'm terrified of heights, but I didn't let that stop me from jumping out of airplanes." Every time I did it, I hated it. But I didn’t hesitate—I just jumped. My first thought was, "Parachute, don't die, don't die… Okay, parachute, please open… Alright, it's open… Now don’t break your legs… Okay, I'm on the ground. I survived another one."
Dr. Cam (19:45.118)
Right. Survived another one. Yay.
Chad Metcalf (19:54.273)
The fear never really goes away. The more you face it, the better you get at handling it. People think fear disappears—it doesn't. You just get better at facing it. At Acton Academy, everyone is on their own hero's journey. If you're a parent, instead of telling your kid, "Where are you on your journey? Are you building your core skills?" it's more powerful to say, "What are you working on in core skills today?"
Dr. Cam (20:46.622)
I think that's so important—being transparent about when we fail or make mistakes, and even sharing that feeling of embarrassment or nervousness. As parents, we sometimes want to appear like we have it all figured out, but that’s a disservice to our kids. They need to see that every day we’re pushing through, and that’s the expectation. Recognizing when our kids push through—whether they succeed or not—is what really matters. It's the pushing through that should be celebrated. Like, "You did it anyway. Wow." Right? Do you agree?
Chad Metcalf (21:32.097)
Yeah, for sure. That’s what I tell the kids when I coach. If you make a mistake in a game or practice, I’m not going to be mad or yell at you. I don’t yell at kids at all. It’s rec baseball—my goal is for everyone to want to play baseball again. That’s the goal.
In my book, Young Athletes' Ultimate Guide to Mental Toughness, I wrote it in a way that kids I coach could understand. But a buddy of mine read it and said, "Dude, I'm using this with my entire sales team at work." And I was like, "I know, because sports are a metaphor for life." Most of our kids won’t be college or professional athletes. No one’s going to remember who won 10U Little League. But they’ll remember the life lessons. They’ll remember how their coaches treated them.
Dr. Cam (22:15.614)
It's amazing.
Chad Metcalf (22:34.657)
I remember coaches who made an impact on my life. I learned about work ethic, putting in effort, and failing—but learning from it. It’s fine to fail, but let’s learn why and try not to fail the same way twice. If you keep making the same mistake over and over again, that’s the definition of insanity—expecting a different outcome.
Dr. Cam (22:58.494)
Expecting a different outcome, right? Yeah.
Chad Metcalf (23:03.841)
If you're not trying, I’ll call that out. "Hey, you're not putting forth your effort. You're not paying attention. Let's focus." But if they’re showing up, putting in the work, and improving—that’s all you can really ask for.
Dr. Cam (23:19.582):
That takes time. If our kids are resistant to that, we can't just tell them to do it. We’ve got to keep building them up because I think if we just keep telling our kids to be more resilient, just push through without helping them learn how to do that, I think that's the tricky part. How do we learn? I wanted to hear a little bit more about what you mean by the fail hack.
Chad Metcalf (23:42.721):
So, the failure hack, and I think it’s like a quote in business school, right? It’s like, as an entrepreneur, you want to fail as fast and cheaply as possible. One of the things they made us do a couple of times was go out and sell stuff door-to-door. It was terrible. I don’t like doing it. The first thing they did was give us this cold brew coffee machine and no sales training. They said, “Alright, y’all go out and try to sell it.”
So, of course, I show up, and I’m like, “Okay, I’ve got this cold brew,” but you can’t say, “It’s for business school,” blah, blah. You have to pretend this is your job, right? No cheating. I go out there and I research this coffee maker. I’m like, okay, it does cold brew, and you know, you put it in there overnight and now you have cold brew coffee, and it’s BPA-free, blah, blah, blah, right? Features and benefits.
I get up, open the door, and I say, “Hi, sir, ma’am. I’ve got this cold brew coffee maker. It’s BPA-free,” and blah, blah, blah. And they’re like, “No thanks.” 200 doors slammed in my face, right? I’m like, wow, that was awful.
So, like, two weeks before we graduate, they say, “Hey, we’re doing another sales challenge. You’re selling children’s dictionaries for $50. By the way, you can buy it on Amazon used for $6. You can’t say it’s for business school, and you have to sell at least one or you’re kicked out of school.”
Dr. Cam (25:10.11):
Dang.
Chad Metcalf (25:10.945):
But they said, “We’re going to give you sales training.” I was like, okay. So, the first thing they told us was, “A quick no is as good as a quick yes. You want a fast answer. You don’t want to sit there for 20 minutes and then hear, ‘I’m not interested.’” So, first, you need a pattern interrupt, right? What’s going to get them so you can have your setup to figure out if they’re even a potential customer?
I thought about this, but because I’d failed so many times, I already knew what they were going to say. “It’s not a good time. I’m busy. I’m not interested.” I thought, well, that’s what they all say. So, I knocked on the door and said, “Hi, sir, ma’am. I know it’s probably not a good time. You’re busy, but if you give me 30 seconds and you’re not interested, I’ll just go away.” No one slammed the door in my face. Anyway, I sold it on the 11th door.
I found their pain point. They had kids. I got the book in the kid’s hand, and they loved the book. It’s more about connection. But if I hadn’t failed those 200 times, I wouldn’t have been able to see what needed to be done.
So, whatever it is, whenever you go out and fail, you become ready to learn the lessons. There’s this triangle of knowledge. There are things we know we know, things we know we don’t know, and things we don’t know we don’t know. We have to fail and get feedback from others to actually get those things. Now, we have new information, and we go start training that. Then guess what? We fail again. You restart the system again. Why did I do that? Is there something obvious to me? To a friend? A mentor? Can I read about it? Get this knowledge online? Then with the new information, we go back and deliberately practice it again.
Whatever the skill is—I literally use this to pass the swims in BUD/S, finish top of my class in business school, launch an Amazon bestseller, crack YouTube, teach golf, and teach kids in sports. It works for anything. But you have to have a clear goal for it to work.
Dr. Cam (27:28.51):
The other thing that kind of stuck out about what you just said too is most teens don’t know what they don’t know. I think that’s why they always think they know everything. It’s not because they really think they know everything. They just don’t know what they don’t know yet. And they’re not going to learn if we just keep telling them what they don’t know. They’ll just shut that out.
But what you said is, when they learn on their own what they don’t know, they’ll be open to learning how to fill that void, right? How to learn that. And I think that might be a big, aha moment for me right now. When we get kids to have that opportunity to figure out for themselves what they don’t know, then they’re going to be open to learning it.
Chad Metcalf (28:13.089):
Yeah. That’s kind of the act in the Academy model. There are no teachers, only guides, and the guides are forbidden from making declarative statements. They can only answer questions with more questions. The kids have to figure it out themselves, and there are no grades. It’s mastery-based—so you move on to the next level of math when you reach 100% mastery of that subject, not when you get 70% and pass. Once you master the subject, you move on. They can ask a friend, use a resource, or first use their brain. After that, they can ask a guide, who will ask a Socratic question to guide them in the right direction. They're forced to struggle to figure things out.
It’s in that struggle that we really start learning. Some of the kids coming out of this after 20 years are incredible. These kids are not just two to three times more effective than kids from traditional education—they’re 100 times more effective. These kids are coming out at 16 years old, after going through this program, more capable than I was after business school.
Dr. Cam (29:48.926):
Because you didn’t know what you didn’t know, right? You thought you knew everything, but when you hit 30, you realized how much you didn’t know.
Chad Metcalf (29:58.529):
Exactly.
Dr. Cam (30:31.777):
The cool thing is we can create that environment at home. The school model is amazing, but not everyone can do that. As parents, we’re around our kids for years. We can create the same environment where we let them learn by doing and guide them with questions, not by stepping in and doing it for them. That helps them build self-belief because they feel that we believe in their ability to figure things out.
Chad Metcalf (30:48.001):
Yeah. It all comes down to asking good questions. If you ask your kid, “How was school today?” and they say, “Fine,” you ask, “What did you do?” and they say, “Nothing,” that’s not a good question. But if you ask, “What was the weirdest thing that happened today?” or “Who annoyed you the most and why?” you start digging deeper.
Also, with hobbies, like when I talked to my youngest about YouTube. I asked, “How many hours a day do you spend on YouTube?” He said, “I don’t know.” I kept asking, “More or less than one? More or less than two?” Finally, he said, “Two and a half hours.” Then I asked, “What skills do you want to have by 15 that you don’t have now?” He said, “I want to be able to do this and that.” I asked, “If you spent that time on those skills, where would you be?” It became his idea.
Dr. Cam (31:44.158):
Exactly. That’s so much more impactful than just saying, “Don’t waste your time on the computer, do something productive.” Now, they understand it’s about their goals and it’s their idea.
Chad Metcalf (32:02.529):
Yeah, it’s like video games, right? I have a love-hate relationship with them. They can be a giant waste of time, but kids are actually learning how to learn by playing Fortnite. If you’ve never played, you’re going to be terrible at first, just like anything else. So, they practice with friends, watch YouTube videos, and keep repeating to get better.
I was coaching a football team and asked, “How many of you play Fortnite?” Everyone said yes. I asked, “How many of you watch videos to get better?” They all said yes. I asked, “How many of you practice with your friends in private mode?” They said yes. Then I asked, “Have you thought about doing the same thing with football?” They said, “Okay.” After that, we won every game.
Dr. Cam (33:22.11):
That’s powerful. When we embrace what they’re already doing and enjoying, like Fortnite, and use that as a model, instead of saying, “Stop playing Fortnite, do something else,” we’re showing them they already know how to learn and improve. They just need to apply it to other areas. They’ll think, “You get me.”
Chad Metcalf (34:16.769):
Exactly. And that’s what we need to model for our kids—change our perspective on failure. I sent over a resource for parents and teens to use. Parents should try it first, and their kids will be curious about it instead of feeling forced.
Dr. Cam (34:45.566):
Yeah, it doesn’t work well when we force things. It usually pushes them away.
Chad Metcalf (34:48.001):
Right. The resource is the Urgent-Important Matrix, developed by Dwight D. Eisenhower. He had limited time and a lot to get done, so he created a system to prioritize. It has four quadrants: urgent and important, not urgent but important, urgent but not important, and not urgent and not important. For a teenager, going to a football game may feel urgent but isn’t necessarily important. But if you’re on the football team, it’s both urgent and important.
This matrix helps you evaluate how you're spending your week. Are your actions moving you toward your goals? If you're spending too much time on things that are urgent but not important, or not urgent and not important, it’s time to re-evaluate. If you spend five minutes on this each week, it can change your entire year.
Dr. Cam (36:31.166):
I love that. And I think it can help parents understand why things that feel unimportant to them may be urgent and important to their kids. It’s not about agreeing on everything, but understanding their perspective.
Chad Metcalf (36:58.625):
I’ve done this with my 18-year-old. I asked him to show me his urgent-important matrix. He realized he spent all his time on things that were urgent but not important or not urgent and not important. No surprise that he wasn’t moving toward his goals.
Dr. Cam (37:36.318):
There’s a balance, right? Some things in the “urgent but not important” quadrant, like chilling, are good too, but we want to make sure we focus on the urgent and important things. This tool really helps bring clarity to how we spend our time.
Chad Metcalf (38:03.681):
If you grab the Urgent-Important Matrix, you’ll get on my newsletter. I’ll share my story—from being broke and depressed to going to business school and turning my life around. I’ll show you how to use the matrix and also talk about the three monsters that will get in your way: distraction, resistance, and victimhood. There’s a mini-course on that, which is part of a larger course called “The Next Great Adventure.” I’ve had teens and even Google and YouTube executives go through it. The first quest is “Who am I?”—and they’re fired up after that.
You can find out more by visiting my site and signing up. I try to respond to emails, but it’s getting harder as I get more, so we’re building a community to help people find their calling and change the world—because it’s not just kids who need that, we all do.
Dr. Cam (39:31.742):
Absolutely. Chad, thank you so much for being here today.
Chad Metcalf (39:36.865):
Thanks for having me.

ABOUT THE SHOW
The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for tackling the real-life struggles of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast delivers practical strategies, expert insights, and real-world advice to help you strengthen your relationship with your teen and support their emotional well-being. If you're navigating teen attitudes, anxiety, or confidence struggles, this show gives you the tools to parent with more ease and impact.
#ParentingTeens #RaisingResilientKids
41 min
May 23, 2024How Neurofeedback Helps Teens Regulate Emotions Effectively
Are you feeling helpless as your teen struggles with anxiety, mood swings, and impulsivity? If you’re looking for solutions but don’t know where to start, this episode is for you. Today, we’re joined by Dianne Kosto, founder of SYMMETRY Neuro-Pathway Training and author of From Trauma to Triumph: One Mom’s Mission with Neurofeedback. Dianne will unpack how brain-based strategies like neurofeedback can help teens tackle mental health challenges linked to nervous system dysregulation, including anxiety and impulsivity.

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
Neurofeedback as a tool for managing anxiety and impulsivity: Learn how neurofeedback helps teach the brain to produce healthier patterns.
The impact of brainwave dysregulation on teen behavior: Understand how imbalances in brainwave activity lead to mood swings, anxiety, and impulsivity.
Neurofeedback as a non-invasive and accessible solution: Discover how teens can benefit from this technique, even remotely.
Brain-based strategies for holistic mental wellness: Understand the power of holistic methods like neurofeedback to promote long-term mental health.
How to foster self-regulation and resilience in your teen: Learn how you can support your teen’s growth and confidence through neurofeedback.

🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Don’t keep it to yourself! Share your favorite episode and leave a rating and review to help other parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical tips for you and your family! Thanks so much for your support! 🙏💫
🔔 Remember to hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss another solution-packed episode! 🙌

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
10% discount on neurofeedback services when you mention Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam

EPISODE CHAPTERS:
00:00 – Intro and Overview
03:15 – Dianne’s Story and the Origins of SYMMETRY Neuro-Pathway Training
10:45 – The Science of Neurofeedback for Anxiety and Impulsivity
18:30 – How Neurofeedback Can Be Done Remotely
24:00 – The Future of Neurofeedback and Mental Health
32:00 – Final Thoughts and Resources

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Dianne Kosto
Website: SYMMETRY Neuro-Pathway Training
Instagram: @symmetry_neuro
Facebook: @SYMMETRYNeuroPathwayTraining
LinkedIn: Dianne Kosto
YouTube: SYMMETRY Neuro-Pathway Training Channel

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell
Website: AskDrCam.com
Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
TikTok: @the.teen.translator
YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
Facebook: @DrCamCaswell
ABOUT THE SHOW
The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical parenting strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth. Whether you’re struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to handle teen challenges and thrive together.
#theteentranslator #drcamcaswell #parentingteenswithdrcam #NeurofeedbackForTeens #MentalHealthStrategies
31 min
May 13, 2024How to Pursue YOUR Dreams While Raising Teens: Tips for Busy Parents
In this episode of Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam, we dive deep into the challenges that working moms face in balancing personal goals with raising teenagers.
Dr. Cam is joined by Heidi Schalk, a business strategy coach, author, and speaker who specializes in empowering women to achieve their goals while maintaining family life. Heidi shares her inspiring journey as a single mom, entrepreneur, and podcaster, and she offers powerful insights on creating a team environment within the family, building mutual trust with your teens, and handling the pressures of both parenting and pursuing your dreams.
If you're a mom feeling overwhelmed by the demands of raising teens while juggling your own aspirations, you're not alone. With 60% of working moms feeling guilty about time spent with their children, this episode is packed with practical strategies to help you build stronger connections with your teen while also honoring your personal goals.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
How to create family goals and foster a team mentality within your household
Simple and fun ways to support your teen's mindset and development
The key to building communication and trust with your teen
How to balance being a present parent while pursuing your personal dreams

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
Creating family goals helps develop a team atmosphere, making everyone in the household feel involved and valued.
Supporting your teen’s mindset in simple, fun ways can lead to greater emotional growth and connection.
Building trust with your teen starts with communication and vulnerability — they need to know they can trust you to open up.
Work-life grace, not balance, is the more realistic approach for managing parenting and personal goals.
Asking for help and creating a support system is crucial for both personal and family success.

🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Don't keep it to yourself! Share your favorite episode and leave a rating and review to help other parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical tips for you and your family! Thanks so much for your support! 🙏💫
🔔 Remember to hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss another solution-packed episode!

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Podcast: Be She Podcast

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Heidi Schalk
Website: https://www.heidischalk.com
Instagram: @heidischalk
Facebook: @Heidi Schalk
LinkedIn: @Heidi Schalk
YouTube: Heidi Schalk

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell
Website: askdrcam.com
Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
TikTok: @the.teen.translator
YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
Facebook: @DrCamCaswell

ABOUT THE SHOW
The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical parenting strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth.
Whether you’re struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to handle teen challenges and thrive together.
#theteentranslator #drcamcaswell #parentingteenswithdrcam
34 min
May 08, 2024How to Break the Cycle of Toxic Parenting: Effective Strategies to Heal and Thrive
Parenting is tough enough without the weight of unhealthy generational patterns. In this episode, we're joined by Cari Fund, an expert in breaking the cycle of toxic parenting. Cari shares powerful insights on how harmful parenting habits can be passed down, often unknowingly, and how to take the steps needed to break free.
If you’ve ever felt trapped in negative patterns that affect your relationship with your teen, this episode is for you. Cari’s approach is not just about improving the parent-child relationship—it’s also about personal transformation. Tune in to learn how to create a healthier, happier family dynamic.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
How to identify toxic parenting patterns passed down through generations
Key strategies for breaking the cycle of toxic parenting
The importance of self-awareness and healing in parenting
Why setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care is vital for effective parenting
How to communicate with your teen in ways that nurture a healthier relationship

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
Toxic parenting patterns can be broken—self-awareness and healing are the first steps.
Prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries is essential for preventing burnout and becoming the parent you want to be.
Vulnerable, open communication builds stronger connections with your teen.
Teach your teen about resilience, self-worth, and the importance of grace.
Progress is more important than perfection—embrace the process of healing and growth.

🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW?
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with others who might benefit!
Leave a rating and review to help more parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical advice for you and your family. Thanks so much for your support! 🙏💫
🔔 Don't forget to hit Follow so you never miss an episode packed with valuable solutions! 🙌

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Cari Fund’s FREE Guide on Toxic Parenting Traits - Learn more about toxic parenting and how to begin the journey of healing.

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Cari Fund:
Website: Cari.Fund
Instagram: @Cari.Fund

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell
Website: AskDrCam.com
Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
TikTok: @the.teen.translator
YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
Facebook: @DrCamCaswell

ABOUT THE SHOW
The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical parenting strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth. Whether you’re struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to handle teen challenges and thrive together.

#theteentranslator #drcamcaswell #parentingteenswithdrcam
43 min
April 29, 2024How to Build Mutual Trust with Your Teen: Practical Tips for Stronger Relationships with Kristen Duke
Are you struggling to connect with your teen? It might feel like your efforts to build trust and communication are falling short. In this episode, Dr. Cam is joined by Kristen Duke, a trusted mentor who specializes in helping parents navigate the challenges of raising teens. Kristen shares valuable insights into common pitfalls parents face in their relationships with teens and provides practical strategies for building trust, fostering open communication, and strengthening the parent-teen bond.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
How to foster trust with your teen and rebuild a stronger connection
Key mistakes to avoid when trying to communicate with your teenager
Why focusing on your growth, rather than your teen's behavior, is the key to earning their trust
Simple, actionable steps to improve your relationship with your teen today

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
Focus on building trust by connecting with your teen on a deeper level.
Understand the importance of controlling your reactions to strengthen the parent-teen bond.
Recognize your blind spots and how they affect your ability to connect with your teen.
Communication strategies that promote openness, vulnerability, and mutual respect.
Practical ways to nurture the relationship while still maintaining healthy boundaries.

🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Don’t keep it to yourself! Share your favorite episode and leave a rating and review to help other parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical tips for you and your family! Thanks so much for your support! 🙏💫
🔔 Remember to hit Subscribe so you never miss another solution-packed episode! 🙌

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
FREE Guide: Connection Playbook with 10 intentional ways to connect with your teen

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Kristen Duke
Website: KristenDuke.com
Instagram: @kristendukechats

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell
Website: AskDrCam.com
Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
TikTok: @the.teen.translator
YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
Facebook: @DrCamCaswell

TRANSCRIPT SUMMARY
Dr. Cam introduces Kristen Duke as a trusted mentor specializing in supporting parents through the challenges of raising teenagers. Kristen will discuss common pitfalls in parenting relationships and share strategies to foster trust and strengthen connections with teens.
Kristen Duke shares her inspiration for becoming a mentor, noting that she saw a lot of pain in mothers and wanted to address the gap in conversations about raising teenagers.
Dr. Cam asks about the biggest struggles parents face with teenagers. Kristen believes it's the conflict between parental expectations and what teenagers actually want to do.
Kristen emphasizes the importance of the relationship with the teenager and the goal of helping parents become more trusted.
She explains that parents can often feel when they are crossing a line with their teens by observing their reactions, like cold shoulders and eye rolls. While there's an element of typical teenage behavior, parents' reactions can escalate issues.
Dr. Cam uses the analogy of "quicksand" to describe how trust can quickly erode with teens. Kristen's mission is to help parents shift their perspective and avoid this.
Kristen talks about how parents sometimes assume their teens will trust them based on past relationships, but teenagers' desire for independence changes this dynamic.
Dr. Cam and Kristen discuss the concept of a "gentler" or "intentional parenting" approach, clarifying that it is not about being a doormat but rather the opposite of being harsh. Kristen identifies with the idea of being a "trusted" parent, where the ultimate goal is for the teenager to feel safe talking to them and open to their advice.
Dr. Cam asks about specific things parents do that unknowingly push their teens away and erode trust. Kristen refers to these as "parenting blind spots."
Kristen shares examples of her own "freak-out" moments, like reacting negatively to her son's frustrations with a friend or her daughter's social anxiety, which closed off communication. She realized these moments were breaking trust.
Kristen highlights the importance of asking teenagers if they want advice before offering it, as giving unsolicited advice can damage trust. Respecting their "no" is crucial for building trust.
Another blind spot Kristen mentions is "shoulding" on teenagers—using the word "should" in directives or suggestions.
Kristen emphasizes that "feedback is a gift" and encourages parents to be open to hearing their teens' perspectives. Consistency in changing behavior is key to rebuilding trust. Forcing or trying to convince a teen to trust you is ineffective. Instead, parents should try to understand why their teen doesn't trust them.
Apologizing is another important aspect of building trust. Parents don't need to apologize for having rules but can apologize for their own reactions.
Kristen stresses the importance of trying to understand the reason behind a teen's behavior rather than just punishing it. Punishing without understanding creates disconnection and frustration.
While Kristen focuses on parents of teenagers, she wishes preteen parents would also take notice of these principles, as it can create a smoother transition. It's never too late to build trust, though it might take more effort in challenging situations.
Kristen clarifies that while she generally advises against excessive rules and punishments, there are situations—like dangerous behavior—where intervention is necessary. However, even in those cases, the focus should eventually shift towards teaching and understanding.
Kristen and Dr. Cam discuss how the "rebellious teenager" stereotype is not the only path through adolescence, and positive relationships are possible. Often, defiance is a reaction to how the teen is being treated.
Kristen's goal is to have a relationship with her children where they feel safe and trusted, even if they make choices she doesn't agree with. A trusted relationship allows teens to feel safe even when they mess up.
Kristen challenges the parental goal of just wanting their child to be "happy," suggesting it puts a lot of pressure on the child. She also highlights the disconnecting phrase, "I'm just trying to help." Instead, she suggests focusing on wanting them to live a fulfilling or authentic life that normalizes difficulties.
Kristen shares her Instagram handle (@KristenDukeChats) and information about her monthly membership, Team Trusted, and her free intentional connection playbook with 10 ways to grow connection, including the "Rosebud and Thorn" family dinner discussion.
Kristen emphasizes normalizing challenges and responding to them without "freaking out." She also suggests simple connection activities like watching TV together without pressure to talk.

ABOUT THE SHOW
The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical parenting strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth. Whether you’re struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to handle teen challenges and thrive together.

#theteentranslator #drcamcaswell #parentingteenswithdrcam
48 min
April 23, 2024Breaking Free from the Overparenting Trap: How to Raise Independent, Resilient Teens with Julie Lythcott-Haims
In today’s high-pressure world, teens are expected to excel in academics, extracurriculars, and beyond. Parents, driven by love and fear, often take on their children’s stress in an attempt to ensure their success. But what if this well-intentioned involvement is actually doing more harm than good?
In this episode, Dr. Cam welcomes bestselling author and renowned speaker Julie Lythcott-Haims to explore the dangers of overparenting and how parents can foster independence and resilience in their teens. Julie, former dean of freshmen at Stanford University, shares insights from her acclaimed book, How to Raise an Adult, and her viral TED Talk with over 7 million views.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
How overparenting hinders teens' independence and problem-solving skills
The key differences between supporting and controlling your child
Why failure is an essential part of a teen’s growth (and how to let them experience it)
Practical steps to shift from overparenting to empowering your teen

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
Overparenting stunts development. When parents do too much, teens miss out on learning essential life skills.
Fear and societal pressure drive overparenting. Many parents micromanage out of anxiety about their child’s future rather than their immediate needs.
Failure is crucial for growth. Allowing teens to struggle helps them build confidence and resilience.
Parents must regulate their own fears. Managing personal insecurities helps create a healthier parenting approach.
Balance support with autonomy. Providing guidance while letting teens make their own decisions fosters true independence.

🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Don’t keep it to yourself! Share your favorite episode and leave a rating and review to help other parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical tips for you and your family! Thanks so much for your support! 🙏💫

🔔 Remember to hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss another solution-packed episode! 🙌

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Julie Lythcott-Haims Ted Talk: How to Successful Raise Kids--With Over-Parenting
Julie’s Parent Resource Recommendations

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Julie Lythcott-Haims
Website: julielythcotthaims.com
Instagram: @jlythcotthaims
Facebook: @jlythcotthaims
Twitter: @jlythcotthaims
LinkedIn: Julie Lythcott-Haims

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell
Website: AskDrCam.com
Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
TikTok: @the.teen.translator
YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
Facebook: @DrCamCaswell

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Cam:
She sparked a national dialogue challenging conventional parenting wisdom in her acclaimed book, How to Raise an Adult, and her TED Talk, How to Raise Successful Kids Without Overparenting, boasting over seven million views, many of which are mine. Welcome, Julie. First, share a bit of your backstory with us. What inspired you to focus on overparenting?
Julie Lythcott-Haims (00:53.853):
Well, thank you for having me, Dr. Cam, and everyone listening to us. I hope you get something useful out of this. Pay attention to what comes up in your body because that's a clue that maybe there's something that you want to pay attention to. I am the author of How to Raise an Adult, which Dr. Cam mentioned, and I wrote this having been the dean of freshman students at Stanford University for 10 years. As a college administrator in the early 2000s...
Dr. Cam (07:35.812):
It really is. And then doing that is going to send our kids to therapy too. So keep going.
Julie Lythcott-Haims (07:41.113):
Well, I would just say, you know, I've been there. I have a 24-year-old and a 22-year-old, and I'm the expert, so to speak. And yet, turns out I was overparenting. My son, who's 24, came home for what I now call bonus years—mental health crisis in college right before the pandemic, left college, things got worse, came home to shelter in place, really depressed, finally got great therapy. We went into family therapy.
Julie Lythcott-Haims (21:15.881):
I hope you get some downtime. I'm in the other room if you need me. Like, I love you. You know, like the warmth and the juice and then walk away so the kid can be like, okay, right. I am responsible. So the more we hound them and we're on them and we act like, "I have to hound you because you won’t do it unless I make you," the more they're like, "Screw you. You can't make me," right? Or, "Fine, you are making me." In fact, Dr. Cam, I had a call from a mom who
Julie Lythcott-Haims (21:45.545):
...point you've been making about the harmful effects of nagging and reminding. She said, "I got two sons. I got a biological son who's 17 and an adopted son who's 15. My bio son has had a lot of struggles. He's in a residential boarding school in a different state. We have family therapy on the phone once a week. And in family therapy this week, he said, 'Mom, every time you ask, Have you done this? When are you going to do this? Why haven’t you done this? Don’t forget to do this. Oh, I think you should do this…'"
Julie Lythcott-Haims (22:43.449):
My adopted son—I am more loving toward my adopted son because she worked it out. So I tell parents, maybe you don’t have the A/B test of your adopted kid and your biological kid, but think about how you are with your nieces and nephews and best friends’ kids. You are that loving adult who doesn’t judge, who doesn’t act like it’s yours to fix. Like when their kid comes home, when you’re at their house, you know, you’re the aunt or the uncle or the best friend of the family. It’s Friday afternoon, their kid comes home...
Dr. Cam (24:55.058):
Doing less but still showing how much we care.
Julie Lythcott-Haims (25:00.989):
Well, part of it is listening to a great podcast like this where we try to say this, right? But I think this is where I said the definition of love has become like, "I do everything for you," instead of creating the conditions under which you can do. And this goes back to our own ego. Like, I feel needed and useful when I’m doing more as opposed to, "I am creating the conditions under which my kid can thrive." So one hack for this is...
Dr. Cam (26:43.194):
Please do that. Yes, get off that. It's the worst invention. It's terrible.
Julie Lythcott-Haims (26:50.833):
But it's evidence that you are so wrapped up in this person's existence that you're hitting refresh to calm your own dysregulation, right? Let me give you another story. Can I give you another story? All right. My son—24. I have a great daughter too, 22, but my story is, he's the one that lives with us still, so I got more stories right now. In the pandemic, it was 2021, George Floyd had been murdered nine months earlier, we’re a Black family...
Dr. Cam (28:27.153):
I'll write you a script.
Julie Lythcott-Haims (28:43.985):
Yeah, sweetie, that does sound hard. And then I paused, and my little heart is fluttering because I don’t want my kid to feel anything is hard. And then I looked at him and said, "But you know what? You do hard things." And I kind of stayed—I didn’t get all up in his face. I was like, "You do hard things." Smile. Confidence. And his eyes flew open, and he was like, "I do hard things."
Dr. Cam (30:05.74):
That is a good point.
Julie Lythcott-Haims (30:08.781):
It’s just a different type of doing, right? Instead of doing the thing, the fixing, the handling, the arranging, it's, "Okay, my job is to work on myself to not need to do the thing so that I don’t deprive my kid." My kid needs the opportunity to do the thing. We need to flip the language—it needs to be like, "Why would I deprive my child of the chance to learn in this moment?"
Dr. Cam (30:29.742):
The deprivation—I love that, because it does change it to, it’s not that I’m not helping him, it’s that I’m giving him the opportunity. I’m going to let him have this one; I’m not going to take it for myself. And I think that’s a language that might help us.
Julie Lythcott-Haims (31:42.141):
So let me say this, and this is for your producer to edit out. I am supposed to be on a call three minutes ago, which I didn’t realize. So I do need to wrap. Okay.
Dr. Cam (31:49.467):
Oh, we can go.
Julie Lythcott-Haims (31:49.467):
Sure, absolutely. Let’s do this. And I just want to do one golden nugget to give the listeners to walk away with. The golden nugget is your child is actually a separate person from you, and they are a gift from the universe or God or however you believe we all get here. Your job is not to live their life for them, but simply to prepare the conditions under which this precious gift will become themselves. They are a wildflower. You don’t even know what they’re going to look like or be like. You just create the right conditions where this wildflower can become their glorious self.
Dr. Cam (32:41.074):
I love that. What a great place to close. Thank you, Julie, so much for joining us.
Julie Lythcott-Haims (32:45.937):
Thank you, Dr. Cam, and to everyone who listened. Hope you got something good and useful out of it. Appreciate you.
ABOUT THE SHOW
The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth. Whether you’re struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to handle teen challenges and thrive together.
#theteentranslator #drcamcaswell #parentingteenswithdrcam
34 min
April 17, 2024How to Spot Teen Suicide Risk: Key Signs Every Parent Should Know
In this crucial episode, Dr. Jessica Rabon, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in pediatric psychology, joins Dr. Cam to discuss an incredibly important topic: spotting teen suicide risk. With suicide being the leading cause of death for youth ages 10-24 in the U.S., this episode will help parents recognize warning signs, have open conversations with their teens, and understand how to provide critical support. If you're a parent worried about your teen's mental health, this episode is a must-listen.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
How to identify warning signs of teen suicide and differentiate them from normal teenage behavior
The importance of having a direct and compassionate conversation with your teen about suicide
Effective crisis management techniques when your teen is at risk
Practical steps to support your suicidal child and where to find the help they need

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
Spotting Warning Signs: Learn the behaviors and shifts that signal a potential suicide risk in teens.
Understanding Suicidal Ideation: Understand the difference between passive and active suicidal thoughts, and when to seek help.
How to Talk About Suicide: Discover the best ways to approach your teen and ask about suicide without judgment.
Responding to a Plan: Know what to do when your teen has a suicide plan—stay calm, stay with them, and seek immediate support.
Building Trust: Learn how to maintain a trusting relationship, so your teen feels safe reaching out when they’re struggling.

🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Don’t keep it to yourself! Share your favorite episode and leave a rating and review to help other parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical tips for you and your family!
Thanks so much for your support! 🙏💫
🔔 Remember to hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss another solution-packed episode! 🙌

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Psych Talk Podcast
Welcome to Group Therapy Podcast

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Dr. Jessica Rabon
Website: JessicaRabonPhD.com
Instagram: @JessicaLeighPhD
Facebook: Jessica Leigh PhD
YouTube: Jessica Leigh PhD
TikTok: @JessicaLeighPhD

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell
Website: AskDrCam.com
Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
TikTok: @the.teen.translator
YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
Facebook: @DrCamCaswell

ABOUT THE SHOW
The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical parenting strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth. Whether you’re struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to handle teen challenges and thrive together.
#theteentranslator #drcamcaswell #parentingteenswithdrcam
36 min
April 09, 2024Understanding Teen OCD: Signs, Symptoms, and Effective Strategies for Parent
In today’s episode, we dive deep into Teen OCD with Natasha Daniels, an experienced anxiety and OCD therapist who has been helping families navigate these challenges for over two decades.
Natasha is also the creator of AT Parenting Survival and the host of the AT Parenting Survival Podcast. With both her clinical expertise and personal experience raising three kids with OCD, Natasha offers invaluable insights on supporting teens with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. If you're a parent wondering how to spot OCD in your teen, what steps to take, or how to avoid common pitfalls, this episode is a must-listen.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
How to Spot OCD in Your Teen – The common signs and how OCD can look different in adolescents.
OCD Myths Busted – Natasha tackles common misconceptions about teen OCD and its impact on their lives.
The Worst Things Parents Can Do for Their Teen's OCD – Learn about parental responses that can unintentionally strengthen OCD behaviors.
Effective Strategies to Support Teens with OCD – What to do instead, including practical advice for early intervention.

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
Recognizing OCD Symptoms in Teens
OCD in teens often shows up in subtle ways, like appearing distracted or engaging in repetitive behaviors such as hand-washing or checking things multiple times. Look for signs of intrusive thoughts or anxiety-driven actions that persist despite logical explanations. When typical curiosity or behavior becomes obsessive or interferes with daily functioning, it might be a sign of OCD.
How to Approach OCD Without Shaming or Enabling
Parents often unknowingly make mistakes like rationalizing OCD behaviors or giving in to compulsions. Instead, avoid shaming or minimizing their struggles. Acknowledge the OCD without reinforcing the compulsions. Approach your teen with empathy, understanding that their actions are driven by anxiety, not willful behavior.
The Power of Psychoeducation for Teens
One of the best ways to help your teen manage OCD is by educating them about the disorder. Help them understand that their obsessive thoughts are not a reflection of who they are, but a part of a brain glitch that gets stuck. Normalizing their experiences makes them feel less isolated and better equipped to fight back against the disorder.
The Importance of ERP Therapy for Teens with OCD
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy is the gold-standard treatment for OCD, and it's essential for teens struggling with this condition. ERP helps your teen confront their fears by gradually exposing them to their anxiety triggers without allowing them to perform their compulsions. Working with an OCD-trained therapist who specializes in ERP is crucial for success.
The Role of Parents in Fighting OCD Together
As a parent, it's vital to separate your teen from their OCD. Frame it as a battle you're both facing together. Support your teen by creating a plan of action to address OCD behaviors and stick to it, even when it's tough. Show them they are not alone in this struggle and that you’re in it as a team—this can be one of the most powerful tools in overcoming OCD.

🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Don’t keep it to yourself! Share your favorite episode and leave a rating and review to help other parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical tips for you and your family! Thanks so much for your support! 🙏💫
🔔 Remember to hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss another solution-packed episode! 🙌

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Free online course for teens on understanding OCD

EPISODE CHAPTERS:
[00:00] Introduction to Natasha Daniels
[05:00] Understanding Teen OCD
[10:00] What to Do and What Not to Do as a Parent
[20:00] How ERP Therapy Can Help Teens
[30:00] Key Takeaways and Closing Thoughts

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Natasha Daniels
Website: AT Parenting Survival
Instagram: @atparentingsurvival
YouTube: @Natasha Daniels OCD Therapist

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell
Website: AskDrCam.com
Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
TikTok: @the.teen.translator
YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
Facebook: @DrCamCaswell

ABOUT THE SHOW
The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical parenting strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth. Whether you’re struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to handle teen challenges and thrive together.
#theteentranslator #drcamcaswell #parentingteenswithdrcam
30 min
April 05, 2024How to Help Your Teen Overcome Their Inner Critic and Build Confidence
Ever wonder why your once bright and enthusiastic child now seems overwhelmed, stressed, and constantly down on themselves? You're not alone. Research shows that nearly 80% of teens struggle with negative self-talk, and it affects their confidence, academic performance, and overall well-being.
In this episode, we chat with school psychologist and teen coach Natalie Borrell, the founder of Life Success for Teens, who shares powerful strategies to help your teen silence their inner critic and thrive with confidence. Tune in to learn how to break the cycle of negativity and cultivate a growth mindset for success.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
How to identify the signs of a critical inner voice in your teenager
Practical tools and techniques for challenging negative thoughts
The importance of self-compassion and building lasting confidence
Why teens need to hear support from more than just their parents

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
Negative self-talk can easily turn into negative beliefs, affecting your teen’s confidence and success.
Silencing your teen's inner critic is possible by taking action and addressing the root of the issue.
Sometimes, your teen needs to hear encouragement from a new voice—a mentor, coach, or trusted adult.
Self-compassion is crucial to breaking the cycle of negativity and building a healthy mindset.
Time management and confidence are closely linked; addressing both helps teens thrive.

🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Don’t keep it to yourself! Share your favorite episode and leave a rating and review to help other parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical tips for you and your family! Thanks so much for your support! 🙏💫
🔔 Remember to hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss another solution-packed episode! 🙌

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
• Life Success for Teens - Masterclass: 5 Step Strategy to Transform Your Teen

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Natalie Borrell
Website: LifeSuccessForTeens.com
Instagram: @LifeSuccessForTeens

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell
Website: AskDrCam.com
Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
TikTok: @the.teen.translator
YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
Facebook: @DrCamCaswell

FULL TRANSCRIPT
Dr. Cam (00:00.602)
Ever wonder why your once bright and enthusiastic child seems constantly stressed, overwhelmed, and down on themselves? You're not alone. Studies show nearly 80% of teenagers experience negative self-talk, impacting their confidence, academic performance, and overall well-being. In this episode, we dive deep with school psychologist and teen coach Natalie Borrell to explore strategies to help your teens silence their inner critic and cultivate a growth mindset for success. Natalie, welcome to the show.
Natalie Borrell (00:40.59)
Thank you so much, it's an honor to be here.
Dr. Cam (00:41.872)
It's great to have you. So tell us a little bit, what's the quick story that inspired you to start working with teenagers and helping them with life success?
Natalie Borrell (00:53.614)
Well, I have been a school psychologist for 17 years. And while I love that work and I work with amazing people, what I've realized is that when you work in public education, there is a lot of red tape and a lot of hoops that have to be jumped through in order to get a student what it is that they need. So about seven years ago, I started doing a very official Google search on what else I could do with my school psychology degree, because I felt like I wasn't having the type of long-lasting impact that I wanted to have on teenagers.
I started the company seven years ago, and it used to be just me, but now there's a team of 15 of us that all have different areas of expertise and backgrounds and work well with different types of teenagers. I get to play matchmaker when I talk to families and connect them with a coach that is really going to meet their student's needs and be a great match as far as personality. So that's the work that I'm doing now, and I just absolutely love it.
Dr. Cam (02:17.872)
I love it. I'm going to ask you real quick to step a little bit back from the camera because we're not able to see your eyes. Yay. Okay. And just up a little bit. I want to make sure... there we go. I want to make sure we can see your whole face. Cool. So let's talk about a little bit. What do you see that comes into your coaching practice? What are some of the biggest obstacles kids are facing when it comes to feeling successful and being able to succeed?
Natalie Borrell (02:23.726)
Great question. So the first thing that comes to my mind is that a lot of parents come to me for support with their teenager's time management skills. Balancing all of the things they have to do in school—assignments, upcoming tests and quizzes—knowing what is due when, and kind of managing all of that. But also using their time effectively and efficiently. So time management is probably the most common thing that parents initially reach out to me for.
But it's interesting because when I have a conversation with a parent and we start talking about time management, inevitably what also comes up is my teenager needs more confidence. They need more motivation. The time management and study skills—those are all tangible things that we can teach to help them be successful in school. But it's interesting because there's always this underlying question about their confidence, and that's half the battle as well.
Dr. Cam (09:21.872)
How do I help them change this negative self-talk? What do we need to do?
Natalie Borrell (09:29.886)
Yeah, I mean, as a parent, you're probably saying all of the right things—the encouraging things, the things that you want to say to boost their self-esteem and help them see all of the amazing things in their teenager. But the problem is, you have to say that because you're their parent, right? Sometimes, it has to come from another voice. Whether that is a teacher, a family mentor, a coach, an accountability partner, another student. It almost doesn't matter who it is. Of course, you want to keep saying those things as a parent, and I think it's great to continue. I would never recommend stopping. But I think it has to come from a different voice in order for your teenager to believe it and internalize it.
Dr. Cam (10:15.024)
The other thing, I learned a little trick with my daughter. She's 18 now, but I always liked having her overhear me say something positive about her to somebody else, which almost gave me another voice. So it added credibility because she's like, "Yeah, you have to say it to me, but man, if I overhear you saying it to somebody else, then that must be true, and you must really think that." I use that trick a lot.
Natalie Borrell (11:16.098)
I mean, I think sometimes, to your point, it has to come from... Let me rephrase this. I think that—I'm going to have to pause and think about that for a second. How do I want to answer that question? Can you rephrase the question for me? Thanks.
Dr. Cam (11:31.566)
Yes, so a lot of times, we are giving, you know, directly to our kids. We're saying, "You're smart, you got this," but a lot of the kids don't believe it. And one of it is because, yes, we're their parent. But also what I hear from teens is, "I don't believe them because they may say it here, but they're saying all these other things over here that say it's something different. So what am I to believe?" So what are some of those things. One example is I'll ask parents, you know, they say grades don't matter, and I say, well, what do you do when they get an A? Well, we celebrate. Well, what do you do when they get a C? Well, we talk about what they can do better next time. And they said, well, that very action is telling them that grades matter. So what are some other things that parents may be doing that we don't realize we're doing that might be undermining our attempts to build up their self-esteem?
How do we as parents start addressing that?
Natalie Borrell (14:55.742)
Yeah, you know, the first thing that I do when I'm talking with teenagers about their inner critic is to recognize that it is absolutely normal. It's an absolutely normal part of being a human to be critical of yourself or to not feel confident in certain areas of your life. So the first thing is to normalize it and to say, "You know, everybody has an inner critic. It's not about not having one because that's not reality."
No, oh, absolutely not. No, I mean, it's a repetitive thing. It's like planting a seed. You have to keep planting the seeds. Like a strong oak takes a long time to grow, right? We have to keep planting those seeds even if it feels like they're not listening to you or they're tuning you out or they give you feedback or resistance to it. It doesn't matter. You still have to plant the seed. You still have to model it because now if mom says it and then somebody else around me says it...
Dr. Cam (18:14.128)
Okay, what do we need to do?
Natalie Borrell (18:42.686
Okay, now it must be true, right? But it has to come from several different places in order for that to stick. So parents keep saying it. Hopefully, we can shift that mindset of your teenager, but then when they also hear it from other people—teachers, athletic coaches, mentors—then it starts to click like, "Oh, maybe that is true."
Dr. Cam (19:02.736)
A lot of times the way we want to approach it is we just say, "Oh, that's not true. Don't think that you're this." And the reason that doesn't work... Tell us why that doesn't work.
Natalie Borrell (19:16.318)
It doesn't work because you have to say that as their parent. I mean, there's no... You just have to say that. You're their parent. That's your job to build them up.
Dr. Cam (19:25.712)
Yeah, and it's not changing their belief system either. I think a lot of times what we're doing is just saying, "We're not listening to you. We don't get it. We don't know anything," if we're just brushing over that belief, rather than trying to dig in and understand that belief using the tools that you just gave us. Right? So now we're helping them reframe it, which is exactly the skill they need to do, rather than just telling them to ignore it.
Natalie Borrell (19:57.662)
You're right.
Dr. Cam (20:24.4)
It feeds into their negative critic that they're dumb. And I think we need to be very mindful of that. So how do parents address that?
Natalie Borrell (20:33.022)
The first thing that comes to my mind is storytelling. I think it's really great to tell stories of either your own life, somebody you know, or even a famous person's story who overcame setbacks or had something difficult and overcame that. Storytelling is so helpful in that way because they start to relate to what is happening, and it takes the spotlight off of them. Like it's somebody else's issue that they're learning about, but it relates to them.
So I think storytelling in any way, shape, or form—whether it's through movies, whether it's, "Hey, I heard this podcast episode, I thought you might like it, here's the link," whatever it may be—sharing stories, I think, is the first one. But then the other thing is to, if your teenager's willing to have a conversation with you about this, we can talk about two paths. And what I mean by that is you can take a path where we just let it go—like it is what it is, we're not going to, you know, got a bad grade, let's move on—and then talk about what happens on that path, whatever it may be, so you're still getting your words out, but there doesn't have to be that back-and-forth conversation that might not go the way that you hope it goes.
Dr. Cam (23:17.904)
I like that. And I'm going to throw in, even people might not like this, but even running it through ChatGPT. What I've noticed is if I write something and I'm very emotional, heated, and negative, ChatGPT will immediately take that out of it and make it a lot more kind and productive. And I'm like, "Oh, thank you." So there's always the chance of being able to go, "Okay, how do I say this in a way that's not quite as...?" And I found that helpful.
Natalie Borrell (23:46.544)
Yes, oh, that's great.
Dr. Cam (23:47.728)
It helps me do that. So I think now we're having conversations with our kids. And I know it's very difficult. A lot of times kids are very reluctant to open up to their parents. So having a trusted adult, right, as someone else that they can turn to... How do parents help kids find these trusted adults that parents can also trust?
Natalie Borrell (23:50.686)
Thank you. You know, I think it's using your village. It's using the people around you. As my kids get older, I'm really realizing that old saying of, "It takes a village" is so true. Because you have to look at the people that you already know, like, and trust first, to me. If there's nobody in that circle of love that you feel like could be a mentor or a connection with your teen, look to the school.
I would say to really just normalize the fact that the inner critic is real. It is loud, everybody has one, but it's very important to figure out where it happens and what it is saying so that you know how to shift that language because we both know this, and likely everybody listening knows this. The thoughts we have about ourselves become our beliefs. And what we don't want to happen is that those thoughts. Yeah, what's the point?
The way that most people find me is honestly on Instagram. My handle on Instagram is @LifeSuccessForTeens, and then my website is also www.lifesuccessforteens.com. So either of those places you can find me and learn more information about what my coaches and I do and how we work with teenagers.
Dr. Cam (31:39.824)
Love it. It sounds so well-rounded and what people need. So thank you so much for that. And thanks for joining me today. I appreciate it.

ABOUT THE SHOW
The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical parenting strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth.
Whether you’re struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to handle teen challenges and thrive together.
#theteentranslator #drcamcaswell #parentingteenswithdrcam
32 min
April 02, 2024How to Raise Emotionally Resilient Teens: Expert Tips with Dr. Caroline Leaf
Are you struggling to raise a teen who can cope with life's challenges? In this transformative episode, Dr. Caroline Leaf, a clinical neuroscientist, bestselling author, and expert in mental health and resilience, shares invaluable insights into how to build emotional resilience in teens. Dr. Leaf is the host of the popular podcast Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess and the author of 18 books, including Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess and How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess. She’s dedicated her career to understanding the mind-body connection and empowering families to nurture emotional wellness. In this conversation, Dr. Leaf introduces a practical, science-based process that helps teens (and their parents) overcome obstacles with strength, clarity, and hope.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
How the mind-body connection shapes our resilience and why it’s unlimited.
The Neurocycle process Dr. Leaf developed to help build emotional resilience.
Why resilience isn’t a limited resource—and how to tap into it effectively.
The importance of modeling resilience for your teens instead of "fixing" them.

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
Model Resilience for Your Teen
Dr. Caroline Leaf emphasizes that teens are more likely to follow your example than your words. Show them how you handle challenges with resilience, so they can learn from your actions.
Use the Neurocycle to Reorganize Experiences
The Neurocycle method can help your teen process their emotions and experiences. Dr. Leaf shares how parents can guide teens to recognize the "signals" of their experiences, dig into them, and reframe their thoughts.
Avoid Pathologizing Your Teen’s Struggles
Instead of labeling your teen’s emotional struggles as mental health problems, focus on helping them reframe their experiences as opportunities for growth. This helps them see challenges as normal parts of life, rather than something to be "fixed."
Create a Safety Net for Your Teen
Dr. Leaf recommends "safety net parenting," where you support your teen through their failures, instead of trying to prevent them from making mistakes. This allows your teen to learn resilience and face adversity without fear of judgment.
Embrace the Power of Neuroplasticity
Help your teen understand that their brains are capable of change. Dr. Leaf shares how the Neurocycle, used consistently over time, can rewire negative thought patterns, leading to long-term emotional growth and resilience.

🎧❤️ ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Don’t keep it to yourself! Share your favorite episode and leave a rating and review to help other parents find the support they need. Your feedback helps me create even more episodes filled with practical tips for you and your family! Thanks so much for your support! 🙏💫
🔔 Remember to hit SUBSCRIBE so you never miss another solution-packed episode! 🙌

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Neurocycle App (20% off with code NEUROCYCLE20)
Book: Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess
Book: How to Help Your Child Clean Up their Mental Mess
Book:Think, Learn, Succeed
Podcast: Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess

EPISODE CHAPTERS:
[00:00] – Introduction to Dr. Caroline Leaf’s Approach to Mental Health
[03:15] – Resilience: Beyond What You’ve Been Told
[06:45] – Why Building Resilience in Teens Requires a New Approach
[10:30] – Modeling Resilience as a Parent
[14:00] – The Power of Neuroplasticity in Teen Brain Development
[18:30] – Overcoming Trauma: A New Way of Thinking
[22:00] – How Parents Can Use the NeuroCycle to Build Resilience
[26:15] – The Science of Emotional Healing: 3 Steps to Rewire Your Teen’s Brain
[30:00] – How Long Does It Take to Build Resilience in Teens?
[33:45] – The Importance of Taking Action: Changing the Way You Respond
[37:30] – Toxic Positivity vs. Healthy Emotional Support for Teens
[41:00] – Do You Want to Change? How to Make Lasting Emotional Change
[45:00] – Conclusion: Building Resilience and Navigating Parenting Challenges

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Dr. Caroline Leaf
Website: DrLeaf.com
Instagram: @DrCarolineLeaf
YouTube: Dr. Caroline Leaf
Facebook: @drleaf

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell
Website: AskDrCam.com
Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
TikTok: @the.teen.translator
YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam

TRANSCRIPT
Dr. Cam (00:00): Today we're embarking on a transformative journey with a true expert in the field of mental health and resilience, Dr. Carolyn Leaf. Dr. Leaf is not only a communication pathologist, audiologist, and clinical neuroscientist, but also a pioneer in the study of the mind-brain connection. With her extensive background in psychoneurobiology and metacognitive neuropsychology, Dr. Leaf dedicated her career to understanding how our thoughts and emotions shape our brains. As a host of the podcast Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess, and the author of 18 bestselling books, including Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess and How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess, Dr. Leaf is a leading voice in the field of mental wellness. Join us as we learn from Dr. Leaf's wealth of knowledge and experience gaining insights into how we can raise emotionally resilient teens in today's challenging world. Dr. Leaf, welcome to the show.
Caroline Leaf (00:08.91): Thank you so much, Dr. Cam. It's lovely to meet you and lovely to be with you today.
Dr. Cam (00:29.602): Dr. Leaf is a leading voice in the field of mental wellness. Join us as we learn from Dr. Leaf's wealth of knowledge and experience gaining insights into how we can raise emotionally resilient teens in today's challenging world. Dr. Leaf, welcome to the show.
Caroline Leaf (04:12.374): I, as I practice for 25 years and I've been doing research for 38 now, and I don't practice anymore because I decided I'm going to have more impact taking what I'm doing in my research and my clinical practice and putting that into accessible tools. We have a mental health technology platform, web and iOS and Android, which we're constantly developing and growing, where we are trying to empower an individual as well as teams of people. But people, every single human needs to know how to understand.
Caroline Leaf (07:06.18): I'm so glad you asked that question because, as you and I both know, that is such a common word used everywhere. It's on book covers, it's in conversations, it comes out all the time. And so it's something that we instinctively know as humans is important for us. And what we've been told in the last 30, 40 years, which has actually been disproved, is that we have limited supplies of resilience, that we run out of resilience. But that's not actually the truth because your brain I was explaining this to someone the other day and it really worked. So let me use it like this. And this is an analogy in a book that I'm actually currently writing at the moment. So you're getting a sneak preview of my next book. Think of a door and a doorway that opens. And that doorway that opens into just infinity. You know, we've seen images of that. We've seen movies with that kind of analogy. You see, you can, you know, just that feeling of this door. Now, that's what resilience is like. It's when you open it, there's unlimited supply of resilience.
If you have any kind of trauma or any kind of anything at any stage of your life that disrupts your functioning, that you basically are reducing your resilience. It's getting less and that you're broken forever and that because you're broken forever, you need a label, you need a diagnosis, you potentially need whatever. And this is what our teenagers are growing up with. This is what our alpha are growing up with. This is the messaging.
Dr. Cam (17:03.426): I love the whole rewiring and neuroplasticity and how do we as parents use this knowledge? And we've already talked about, we want to build resilience. A lot of what we're doing to build resilience based off what you just said is actually making them less resilient because we're trying to fix them, right, to build them. So what do parents do to help build up our children's resilience or open up that door wide open for them?
Caroline Leaf (17:38.468): Three parts to that answer. It's a great question. It's a great question. The first thing is we model it for them because our children and our adolescents will really do what we do. It's easy to say something. It's much more difficult to model it. So that's very, very important. I often get asked this question and they say, what would you do for this current crisis, which has also been mis-explained.
Application, we constantly upgrading that all the time. Even have a neuro. Explain something and answer questions. In other words, that's how, because people say, okay, that's great. I need the knowledge as a parent. I need to model, but what do I do? So the second part of the answer is these are, I've got the tools, the Neuropsycho. We can even talk a bit more about what that is. I'm happy to explain it. And then what...
Dr. Cam (23:03.298): Right. Worst-case scenario.
Caroline Leaf (23:18.596): That if you help a person with a traumatic brain injury, you can actually help them transform their life. So I work with people that were, that were, had shortly come out of comas, that were non-functional, and quite extreme changes happened in sort of, under 12 months, they would go from like a... They would go from, let's say, there was the one case was a 16-year-old who had basically sort of lost all functionality and was like functioning at about a second-grade level. Within 12 months, caught up with a peer group, went on to get degrees.
How often, how long, and the bottom line, and we still do research, we've just done another study, I've published papers, we had a paper coming out this month, and for this year, we're doing more studies, but basically it takes around nine weeks to rewire a network. So in the first three weeks of working daily, and I will tell you what the neuro cycle is, but in the first three weeks of working through the neuro cycle daily, you will basically find what those signals, the depression, the anxiety, those things in your body, the perspective.
Those are just signals. They're not symptoms of a disease. They're signals of an experience. So in the 21 days, you'll be able to learn to recognize the signals, dig into those signals, find the thought, which is the experience that they're attached to and find the...
For that science to all of us. And I've got great images in here to be able to explain, for parents to explain to children. So you basically are healing the roots and so on. And that process takes around three weeks. Then you've got this tiny little newly...
As a little tree-like structure and then in your body cells as hedges. So if you recall at the beginning, and I know this is quite a lot to digest, but if you recall at the beginning, we said that memory and experiences are a body-wide thing. The body keeps the score that people hear about. We know that people go to yoga to release the energy. We know that exercise helps depression. Well, I'm talking about that, okay? So I'm talking about the fact that every experience we have, that traumatic experience, it was an experience that was taken in by your mind, processed.
Stored in your brain as a tree-like structure in every cell of your body as a hedge-like structure, like a little hedge, tightly packed hedge and in your mind as a little wave pattern. So three places and the wave patterns kind of keeping the whole thing going. So that's what you're doing with the neuropsycho is you are opening those all up, you're finding them and you are reorganizing them. So they never go away, but instead of saying...
And you then basically are growing it bigger and making it stronger. So I'll walk you through this in the app, in this book, in the adult book, all of it. So you get the combination, that's a good combination. You don't have to, but people want to know what the resources are. Okay, so in essence, what do you do each day? What is the neuro cycle? It's five steps for the first 21 days, you do it for around 15 minutes a day. First couple of days, you'll take longer as you learn the system. And then the second set of 42 days, totaling 63, which is nine weeks.
Going to it now but there's a way of organizing information that really makes us very effective but it's a mind dump it's not journaling then still flying you need to now look at what you've written which is accumulation of the three steps to those three steps taking off flying and now you're going to reconceptualize what does this mean this has happened what do about this and then you end off with step five which is then landing the plane with an active reach which is an action to help you to be able to anchor yourself so it's accumulation of...
I can't find out why, why did that person bully me? They're going through stuff. I don't need to know why they bullied me. I just need to know that my behaviors are coming from that. So it's not me, there's a because of. And so I reconceptualize what can I do going forward? Okay, that bullying, I can release, I can whatever. So that's what you're doing. What is happening a lot, Dr. Kamen, I know you know this, I'm telling you, I feel like I'm speaking to the choir here. So forgive me. For those of you that are listening, is that there's a huge movement and there's...
Caroline Leaf (36:35.364): That's such a good question. And I know what's happened because you swung from the coddle to the, we've swung from, just pull yourself together to, gosh, you know, let's, so there's two extremes. So you can't wallow and you also can't have toxic positivity. You know, so it's defined and that's what I'm hearing you say, you know, how do we get that balance? And you're absolutely right, there is that tension.
Not promoting toxic positivity, but one of the big things is, and I talk about this a lot in my books and I often refer to the two books I'm holding up here. The first one is, in a nutshell, do you want to be well or not? And that's a tough question, but that's the whole question, do you really want to feel better or do you want to stay in a state of victimhood? And that's the question every person and parent has to answer. Do you really want to change the state you're in?
Dr. Cam (38:22.234): I love that you said that. Yes.
Caroline Leaf (39:14.444): Start, like I say, with those three things: pay attention to the fact that it is not who you are. Recognize the signal, it's not who you are. You can understand the why. And it all comes back to the fact that you’ve got this.

ABOUT THE SHOW
The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical parenting strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth.
Whether you’re struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to handle teen challenges and thrive together.
#theteentranslator #drcamcaswell #parentingteenswithdrcam
47 min