Dr. Rob speaks with two people in recovery, Jay and Larry, about their addiction and the type of damage it has caused their families. Jay and Larry also talk about why they felt comfort in their addictions and how their lives have been improved now that they are sober and aware of their problem.

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:25] Why did Jay seek help and go to treatment?

[4:15] Jay was frustrated that he couldn’t fix himself on his own.

[5:25] Larry shares his experience with addiction. 

[6:05] Larry was so afraid of connecting with people, which is why he found comfort with porn. 

[9:15] At first, Larry thought it was his wife’s problem on why they were having issues. It turned out, it was his addiction that was the problem.

[12:30] Why did it take Jay 45 years to seek professional help?

[15:50] Jay’s first therapist did not believe in sex addiction. She thought he was just a liar.

[18:55] Why did Larry keep telling his wife about the slips he had with porn? Why didn’t he just keep it a secret?

[21:15] Larry knew it was unhealthy, and Larry knew it was terrible, but he couldn’t stop. 

[26:15] Jay talks a little bit about his childhood, and why he found comfort in sex with strangers. 

[30:00] When Jay would travel, it would trigger him because he was so lonely and he wanted to act out to fill the void.

[32:35] Jay would try to use willpower for it to go away, but he just couldn’t sustain it.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101 

Seeking Integrity

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men 

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss

QUOTES:

• “I tried to do this on my own, but it wasn’t until I got group therapy where I was able to get through my shame.”