Pillow Talks

“What? I was just being honest!”

This is one of the most common phrases that gets uttered during conflicts between couples. We’ve all been taught to believe that honesty is a virtue, but let's be real, some of us are crossing the line between honesty into cruelty.

In this episode, we asked you to tell us about the situations where your partner said something that felt cruel to you, or you said something to your partner that felt cruel to them. We’re giving you our hot takes on if it was honest or just plain mean.

We’re even sharing some of our very personal (and very embarrassing) moments when we were way too honest with each other!

Links & Resources:

Our email list: vmtherapy.com/subscribe (http://vmtherapy.com/subscribe)

Instagram: @vanessaandxander (https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander/)

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com https://CozyEarth.com and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

Thanks Uncommon Goods! Get 15% off your next gift at uncommongoods.com/PILLOW (https://uncommongoods.com/PILLOW)

Thanks Je Joue!  Go to JeJoue.com (https://bit.ly/45MJ2Ki) for their Black Friday sale Nov 10 - Nov 30!

Products we love from Je Joue:  The Couples Collection Gift Set (https://www.jejoue.com/products/the-couples-collection-gift-set)

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In February, we released our book, Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. It was an instant New York Times bestseller!

Now that the book has been out for close to a year, we thought it was about time to sit down and share the feedback we’ve gotten from thousands of readers.

In this episode, we’re giving you the five biggest takeaways from the book, including the shocking assumptions that you don’t realize are impacting your sex life, the dynamics that are ruining emotional intimacy, and the topic that got us almost 20 million views on social media and an interview with the New York Times.

Links & Resources:

Book: Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (https://sextalksbook.com/)

Course:  Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/)

Workbook:  Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/mental-load-workbook/)

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (https://DipseaStories.com/pillow).

Thanks Babbel. Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow) for 55% off your subscription.

Thanks Je Joue!  Go to JeJoue.com (https://JeJoue.com) for their Black Friday sale Nov 10 - Nov 30!

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Today we’re talking about something we’ve never heard talked about openly… silent sex.

Did you know that more than 50% of people regularly have sex where at least one partner is completely silent? This might not initially seem like a huge deal, but there are actually a number of drawbacks to having totally quiet sex.

In today’s episode, we’re breaking down for you why you’re having silent sex, the benefits of making some noise in the bedroom, and some simple steps to help you get more comfortable with it! You’ll also learn the surprising truth about which gender in a male/female relationship is the quiet one…

Links & Resources:

Guide: Dirty Talk 101 (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/dt-101/)

Guide:  Modern Man’s Guide (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/modern-mans-guide/)

Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (http://GreenChef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping.

Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

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Do you wish your partner was more invested in your relationship? Do you find yourself wishing they would plan more date nights, spend less time on their phone and more time with you, or show you that they’re actively working on being a better partner? If so, you’re not alone. 70% of people are longing for a more involved partnership.

We know — from personal experience — that getting your partner to be more active can feel challenging. Maybe you just don’t know how to start the conversation or how to phrase your request. Or maybe you asked, but your partner never followed through. Or maybe they even said “no”.

Whatever the case may be, we’ll give you some sneaky yet effective ways to get your partner more invested in your relationship.

Links & Resources:

Challenge:  The Connection Challenge (https://vmtherapy.com/connection/)

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we’re bringing back one of your favorite series - Ask Us Anything. This time we’re doing the sex therapy business secrets edition!

Let’s be real… business can sometimes be boring. So we asked our community to send in their nosiest questions. The questions they didn’t think we’d have the nerve to answer.

We're pushing out of our comfort zone and answering questions like, do we ever get turned on while working? Have we ever regretted talking about something publicly? And do we ever have imposter syndrome? Tune in to hear us spill all our secrets!

Links & Resources:

Book:  Sex Talks (https://sextalksbook.com/)

Guide:   Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/)

Subscribe to our email list at vmtherapy.com/subscribe (https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe)

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow).

Thanks Babbel. Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow) for 55% off your subscription.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it normal to notice a bad odor after intercourse? What about queefing? How the heck does everyone else manage clean-up after sex?

In this episode, we’re talking about all the unexpected things we experience during sex, but that no one ever talks about openly! We’re giving you the run-down on the most embarrassing bodily functions, how to avoid them, what to do in the moment when they happen, and reassurance that these things are perfectly normal. And we even round it out with some hilarious stories from our listeners, so we can all stop feeling so embarrassed and alone!

Links & Resources:

Previous Episode: Episode 99: The Bristle Reaction: What It Is, How It Happens, And What You Can Do To Fix It (https://vmtherapy.com/episode99)

Previous Episode: Episode 49: The Truth About Squirting (And Why Men Are Obsessed With It) (https://vmtherapy.com/episode49)

Previous Episode: Episode 68: The Ultimate Butt Stuff Episode (https://vmtherapy.com/episode68)

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is inspired by the popular Reddit thread, Am I The Asshole? We’re giving you our hot takes on some of the trickiest situations submitted by our audience. Tune in for stories about faking orgasms for 24 years, forgetting your partner's birthday, and even unknowingly being someone's first time!

Grab your partner and join us for this entertaining episode that’s sure to get you debating right alongside us. Once you’re done listening, let us know your favorite story and whether or not you agree with our stance!

Links & Resources:

Guide:  Next Level Intercourse (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/next-level-intercourse/)

Guide:  Ultimate Foreplay Guides (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplay-guides-2022/)

Guide:  👉 ⁠⁠⁠Butt Stuff 🍑 (only available inside of DEEPER)⁠⁠ 

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow (http://GreenChef.com/60pillow) and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping.

Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode125

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you know that 86% of people worry that their sex life is too boring?

It’s so easy to get caught up in anxiety about your sex life. You can’t help but wonder if everyone else is doing it more often than you are, or if they’re enjoying it more. And let’s be honest - it’s hard to get excited about doing the same thing, in the same place, at the same time, every time…

In today’s episode, we’re sharing 5 secrets to shift sex with your partner from ho-hum to mind-blowing! Get ready for some simple but powerful changes you can implement tonight.

Links & Resources:

Course: The Sex Challenge (http://vmtherapy.com/challenge/)

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow (http://DipseaStories.com/pillow).

Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow (http://Zocdoc.com/pillow) and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode124

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whenever we ask parents what gets in the way of intimacy after kids, the most frequent answer we hear is time. As a parent, everything becomes about the kids, and it feels like there’s no space or energy for intimacy. But your partner and the love you share are special, and deserve your time. So let’s talk about how to create that. We asked the parents in our audience to share their best advice for other parents, and we've prepared a buffet of tips to support you on your journey to reconnect!

Tune in and get ready to reignite the spark in your relationship, even amidst the beautiful chaos of parenthood.

Links & Resources:

Course:   The Sex Challenge (http://vmtherapy.com/love/)

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode123

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your partner ever touch you in ways, times, or places that you don't feel comfortable with? A staggering 78% of people have experienced unwanted touch in their relationships. We’re talking things like boob honks, humping from behind, and ass smacks.

So what are you supposed to do when the person you love and trust is touching your body in ways that you don’t like? There’s one thing we’re clear on: it’s your body, and you get to decide how it gets touched. That being said, there can be nuances in these kinds of situations. What if you’ve never told your partner you don’t like that kind of touch? What if you know your partner has good intentions, but just isn’t understanding your boundaries?

In this episode, we're not just highlighting the problem; we're providing solutions. We'll walk you through the three most common scenarios when it comes to unwanted touch in relationships, and provide practical guidance on how to tackle them. Whether you're seeking advice on communication, setting boundaries, or understanding consent, we've got you covered.

Links & Resources:

Guide:  Art Of Initiation (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/the-art-of-initiation/)

Guide:  Survivor’s Guide (https://free.vmtherapy.com/survivors-guide-opt-in/)

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com (http://CozyEarth.com) and get up to 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

Thanks Babbel. Babbel.com/pillow (http://Babbel.com/pillow) for 55% off your subscription.

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode122

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices