Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist

In thinking about New Year's changes, or things you want to change in this upcoming year, I want to caution you about changing too much at once! "Don't Try To Change Everything At Once" is another episode in my "Rules of Thumb" series [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)]. When thinking about change in parenting or families, I often illustrate this concept using the "scales of justice". So I'll share that concept in this episode. I also talk about the "hierarchy" of change. Finally, I'll share some tips to set yourself up for success.

Stop beating yourself up over things that you don't know! In this episode, I go over a concept that I call the "Parenting Prison". I'll explain what that is and how to get out. Next I discuss that there is no guilt or blame in not knowing something. Our parenting is often passed down through generational cycles, so I discuss how this relates to the Parenting Prison. Finally, there is freedom in the acquisition of knowledge. Learning how to parent better is a liberating experience for you and your whole family.

I read an article that reinforces, from a medical standpoint, that social media is really harmful for our kids. A callout from the article: "Turns out the poorly regulated, 24-hour content mill of being Extremely Online is really threatening to our mental health!" I already knew this, but what is alarming is that the influences are going beyond mental health... social media (and this case, specifically TikTok videos) are affecting kids from a medical/physical standpoint. Links from this episode:

• https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/tanyachen/young-women-reporting-concerning-behavioral-changes-from
• https://www.wsj.com/articles/teen-girls-are-developing-tics-doctors-say-tiktok-could-be-a-factor-11634389201

If you're like me and your child is begging you for a phone, but there's no way you are going to let them have an internet-connected phone, I have a compromise between you and your kids! It's called Gabb Wireless. It's essentially a "dumb" phone (that isn't a flip phone). It looks like a smart phone, but it does not have internet-connected apps. You can call, text, and take photos/videos, and not much more! My listeners can get 50% off a Gabb phone or watch by Dec. 15th if you click on the following link. https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/play or use the promo code PLAY at checkout. Stay in contact with your kids without worrying about them being on the internet unsupervised. Get a Gabb phone or watch today!

Did you have to take a career class... in middle school? Did you learn pre-algebra... in 6th grade? In this episode, I'm exploring the question: Are schools pushing kids too far, too fast? First, I read a letter from my son's school that was the spark for this episode topic. Then I talk about what I'm calling the "separation of home and state". And finally, I end with a topic that I'm calling the "content push". After you listen to this episode, I'd love to hear from you.. if you agree, or disagree. Email me at [email protected].

Links from this episode:

• 3 Reasons Why We Chose To Homeschool (Probably Not The Reasons You're Thinking)

In this episode, I'm diving into Birth Order, and how that affects your children's personalities. I'm going to spend a little time on only children, in particular, but I do give an overview of first, middle, and babies of the family, so this episode has some great content if you have any number of children! My three main topics in this podcast are: the universal norms of birth order, what role-reversals, hybrids, and blends looks like and how that affects a child's personality, and then we will look at the unique subset of only children.

Increased screen use in school, homework load, and lack of time to just play. We have always monitored our son's schooling, but this year, in his transition to middle-school, my husband and I were alarmed at how school was taking over our lives. I'm not trying to convince anyone to homeschool in this episode. There's important information in this podcast for all parents... homeschoolers, those thinking about homeschool, and those not ever going to homeschool! I just want you, as a concerned and involved parent, to consider these three factors and objectively assess how school is impacting your family. Links from this episode:

• Finding A Balance Between Kids And Device Use
• "Digital Pacifiers" – Why Screen Use Is Harming, And Ruining Our Relationships With Our Kids
• Wake Up! Social Media is Ruining our Kids (TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, etc.)
• Pediatricians should prescribe PLAY! (not meds)

Do you say "Good job"? "That's what happens when..."? "If you do that again..."? I found a parents.com blog post titled "10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids", and I compare several of the "things" in this post to my 2011 post titled "10 Things Not To Say To Your Kids". Links from this episode:

• 10 Things Not to Say to Your Kids
• The Four "Pillars" of Play Therapy

Have you ever second-guessed yourself as a parent? Do you ever feel like you are not as successful as you want to be in your parenting? In this episode we look at three common "red flags" that might make you think you're failing, but are actually an indicator of success!

Do you wonder if your parenting style is helpful or harmful to your children's long-term well being? In this episode, we look at the characteristics of the Authoritative Parenting Style, which is categorized by high levels of both demandingness and responsiveness. We discuss the characteristics of authoritative parenting, the outcomes it produces in children, and a contrast with the other parenting styles.

If you have a young child between, say, 5 and 11, you've probably heard something shocking come out of their mouth like "I hate my life", or "I wish I were never born". In this episode of the podcast, I talk about how most parents respond in one of three ways. Then I discuss how to discover the emotion behind what they are saying and why that is the most important step in dealing with this. Finally, I give you a play therapy based way to respond to this that diffuses the emotions and preserves the relationship with your child.