Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist

I recently got an email from Dan. Dan has been listening to the podcast and is in the "Play Therapy Parenting Family". He has been using play therapy skills and knows the "4 Pillars" of play therapy. However, Dan has challenges dealing with his kid's defiance. Dan responds with play therapy skills, but struggles implementing them. Dan asked me if I would do an episode just for Dads! So here are 4 challenges that Dads face, and I discuss and give tips for each of them.

• Dads are wired to be problem solvers
• Dads brains tend to be logical and rational
• Vulnerability and empathy are difficult for Dads
• Dads tend to have a need for control

In this episode, I talk through what to do when your children do not respond to play therapy skills. A Mom from Utah emailed me with some frustrations implementing the 4 Pillars and asked for my thoughts. I got permission to share her situation in this episode and we go through each of the points in detail. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode:

• Play Therapy Fundamentals

A wonderful validation of what I teach parents happened to me on vacation a few weeks ago. One of the tips in the 10-week parent coaching program that I teach is to get on a kids eye level. So I did that to a kid in line at a McDonalds and you'll never believe what happened! In this episode of the podcast, I explain why being on eye level when interacting with kids is so important, how it removes the "power differential", and I talk about the connection that is formed when you get on eye level. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode:

• Rules of Thumb Episodes

In this episode I talk through baby jealousy when a new baby is introduced to the family. These concepts also apply to other situations when a new family member is added, such as step-children, etc. But new babies are the most common situation when baby jealousy upsets the family and children dynamic. Three topics I discuss are: Dethroning, Understanding the age gap, and What to do about baby jealousy. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

We get it wrong when we interact with teens and pre-teens. At least, that was the main point of an interesting article I read this week. In this episode, I talk about how adolescence changes the dynamics of the family, and how we can make changes to the way we interact with our teens and pre-teens to maintain the relationship and connection we crave with them. My three main points in this podcast are:

• The fear of getting "shut out" is the root of ineffective interactions with teens.
• Stop asking questions.
• We forget and don't give kids credit for their capabilities and what they can handle.

Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode:

• 4 Pillars of Play Therapy
• Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
• Goodness of Kids

Most parents are stuck in a "prison". I've called it the "Parenting Prison". In this episode, I'm going to tell you what the Parenting Prison is, and how to get out of it. I'll also touch on repeating familial cycles of parenting. We often parent the way we were parented (or the opposite)! I'll briefly go over several common parenting styles, and why they are all ineffective. And finally I'll discuss the #1 reason parenting responses are ineffective, and what you can do about it. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode:

• Why Reasoning Doesn't Work with Kids
• Stop trying to reason and rationalize with your child!
• Why Reflecting Feelings Works (even on adults!)
• 4 Pillars of Play Therapy
• The "4 Pillars of Play Therapy" – A training presentation I gave to the 300 school and guidance counselors from the Hillsborough County School System in the Tampa, FL area.

I came across a quote from a book that inspired this episode... "Although she hadn't seen her parents for years, it turned out that a parent's disapproval is a powerful lingering voice that shaped and defined one's self-image". So in this episode, I discuss parental disapproval, and what a child does when they experience that. I discuss unconditional love and acceptance, which is a play therapy principle. And finally the power we have as parents in a child's life Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode:

• Does Your Child Have At Least One Adult Who Has An Irrational, Emotional Relationship With Them?

Over the weekend, I saw a disturbing scene play out while we were at a bowling ally, and it was a perfect example of what I call negative behavior reinforcement using devices. So in this episode, I share that story, then I explain the reasoning behind why negative behavior is reinforced with device use. As a bonus, I go into the addictive nature of screens from a neurobiology perspective. And finally, I share some listener feedback. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode:

• Kids Bowl Free - www.kidsbowlfree.com
• Device Detox - www.devicedetoxbook.com

In this episode, I catch you up on, and celebrate some of the things I've been involved in lately, and then I celebrate an email that I got from a Mom... She wrote me an email and it touched my heart, so I asked her if I could share it. I celebrate all of the emails and feedback that I get from you and I want you to know that I read them all and respond to all of them. So thank you for the feedback you give me and I can't express enough how much I enjoy sharing with you each week. Please email me at [email protected] with more questions and feedback. And don't forget to celebrate the relationships in your life. We have a lot to be thankful for... you don't have to look very hard to find relationships to celebrate. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

"The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results" - James Dean I stumbled on this quote this week and added it to my "quote book", and I realized how this ties into the play therapy concept of encouragement perfectly! In today's episode I discuss the following topics:

• The difference between praise vs. encouragement
• The use of esteem-building responses
• Focusing on the effort, not the outcome

Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode:

• Praise vs. Encouragement
• "Encourage The Effort Rather Than Praise The Product"
• The "4 Pillars" of Play Therapy