Podcast Notes
Key Takeaways - “Every gathering is an opportunity to create a temporary world”
- Every gathering should have a specific purpose and identity of who should/shouldn’t be there
- A bad purpose: Let’s have a family reunion
- A good purpose: Family is important and we are worried our bonds are starting to weaken so let’s get everyone together to strengthen our family relationships
- A good moderator helps get as many people as possible to participate in the conversation
- Ex. – A moderator might say to the audience, “Raise your hand if you’re here because of XYZ”
- If you let people come to a gathering that aren’t supposed to be there, you’re diluting the gathering’s purpose
- If you have a wedding and only invite your close friends and family, you’ll have plenty of time to spend with them. However, if you invite all your former high school and college friends, the time you can spend with your close friends will drop dramatically.
- “If everybody is family, nobody is family”
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This week I’m hosting an investor retreat and so thought it fitting to release this conversation with Priya Parker on the art of gathering.
I’ve been interested in the topic of community and gathering for some time and along with the book The Art of Community, Priya’s book on the art of gathering is by far the best I’ve read. It is both conceptually interesting and extremely practical. In the book there is literally a table for how big a gathering space should be per person, sorted by the type of vibe you are after.
We had a time constraint but I could have talked to Priya for much longer. I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did, and that it inspires you to do something new and different with friends, family, or colleagues.
For more episodes go to InvestorFieldGuide.com/podcast.
Sign up for the book club, where you’ll get a full investor curriculum and then 3-4 suggestions every month at InvestorFieldGuide.com/bookclub.
Follow Patrick on Twitter at @patrick_oshag
Show Notes
1:23 - (First Question) – Overview on what she does as a conflict resolution facilitator
1:38 – The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters
4:45 – Lessons about structuring a gathering from her early very difficult work and the idea of sustained dialogue
7:43 – First event she facilitated
9:38 – Importance of a good opening for any gathering
12:30 – Identifying a good purpose for a gathering
15:06 – Why being specific on rules/code of conduct leads to more success
18:54 – Do rules help facilitate more creativity in groups
21:22 – Segregating a good from bad purpose
24:34 – Identity and good/bad gatherings
26:50 – Purpose and the guest list for a gathering
31:03 – Community building is line drawing
32:27 – Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance
34:29 – Importance of well crafted invitations
35:17 – Making the middle of gatherings interesting
39:21 – Exploring risk at gatherings
41:28 – Patterns of Transformation
41:43 – The hero’s journey
46:54 – Making a meaningful transition out of these gatherings
52:39 – Kindest thing anyone has done for Priya
Learn More
For more episodes go to InvestorFieldGuide.com/podcast.
Sign up for the book club, where you’ll get a full investor curriculum and then 3-4 suggestions every month at InvestorFieldGuide.com/bookclub
Follow Patrick on twitter at @patrick_oshag